The Allfather pressed two fingers to his temple, exhaustion and distress so evident in his posture. It'd been two months of worry and shame. He knew by this moment that all the Nine Realms knew that Thor had flown, no matter how hard they tried to hide that information. He dismissed the council and observed as the fat nobles with vicious faces left the room. God knew those people were too old and greedy to rule a vast kingdom. He had expected Thor's coronation to change things; he actually planned to set a date after the wedding. But by the Norns! Who would have known his son, the one that had always been the apple of his eye, would be so irresponsible and foolish. Coward, his mind whispered to him, but he refused to hear it; no. Thor could be many things, but never a coward, not that. Surely there should be a reason as to why he did what he did.

And there was another thing. The effect of Frigga's charm should have lasted only a moon. But no matter how hard he tried Heimdall could not see Thor anywhere. And the time was running out so quickly. He feared word from Laufey every day.

Thor, please, come to your senses.

"Your highness," a servant approached hurriedly. "You've got a message."

"From where?"

"Jotunheim, sir."

"A penny for your thoughts," Thor lifted his head and saw Loki standing upon him. Of course, who else would it be? "Of you," he lied with a smirk.

"Liar." The Jotun sat beside him with two cups of coffee. He offered Thor one. They were now seated in a bench next to the front door, shielded from the lazily falling snow by the old wooden shelter. "You aren't very good at it, you know?"

"Lying?"

"No, thinking. And yes, a terrible liar too."

Thor smiled, taking little sips of his drink. "You know, there're few people that treat me with as much easiness as you."

"Oh, so you're missing your friends." Thor glanced at him in surprise, but then smiled warmly. He liked how sometimes Loki could name his thoughts even before he could. "I think so. It's not like I don't enjoy it here, with you, but so much time without seeing them leaves me uneasy. I grew up with them, after all."

"If they are as arrogant as you are, you have all the reason to worry."

Thor chuckled. Had it been another person he would feel offended, but Loki's easy tone and careless posture made him look as casual as if he was talking about a muffin recipe. "Besides, my father is surely going nuts with my absence. I wonder why he hasn't sent anyone to bring me back yet. And mother may be worried."

"Wow, you really have a sugar-sweet life, don't you? Loving family, friends...The golden prince of the Realm Eternal." Said prince frowned. Now Loki was mocking him, it was clear by the smirk on his face a little bit twisted to the left, and the way his fingers gripped his cup tightly.

"Actually, it's not," he spat acidly. "I have lots of responsibilities too. Some of them bitter and heavy. Right now I'm carrying a burden that weights on my shoulders and tortures my conscience. And remaining here only makes it worse. I'm betraying my father, my people, and myself by staying with you. So don't even dare to tell me again that my life is easy. You know nothing about my life."

"And what do you know about my life?! Do you think you are the only one who knows the weight of duty?!" Loki hissed, eyes sparkling fire. "You, the loved prince who has been born to be King! You think a little bit of sacrifice is a pain in your ass? You give little and receive a lot in exchange!" His fists trembled and he bared his teeth. "Not every one of us has that luck! Duties? Of course I know what duties are? But do you know what is to be nothing more than a BARGAINING CHIP to your family? A WHORE in case it's needed!"

"Loki..." He seemed at the verge of hysteria now, yelling at Thor as if he were letting out all his inner demons.

"I'VE BEEN TREATED LIKE TRASH FOR ALL MY LIFE! For being a runt and a 'tricky witch'! Were it not for my elder brother I would have never survived my first year! You had everything you ever wished! I HAD NOTHING! You had loving parents, mine spat at me. You had loyal friends, all of mine are DEAD!"

Tiny ice flowers like snowflakes started to form at the corner of his eyes, and Thor understood that those were tears. "I'm tired from being looked from above; I'm tired of mockery and scorn. On Midgard I can be whoever I want, learn the respect of the people I have around. But every time I return to this damned land I'm reminded that no matter how hard I try, how hard I fight, I will always be nothing. For my people know I'm nothing, for I never was and never will be." He was calming slowly, and despite better judgment Thor placed his hand upon his. The Jotun locked a tired gaze with his partner's, for now he knew that it was not him who was the target if his lover's anger. "I tried to love them; I tried to speak of them all as my fellows. But I CAN'T! Every time I do something for them, they only see unworthy deeds of trickery from the runt who is unable to protect himself with his fists. No matter how many of them I bring to their knees with my own strength they still look at me from above. I even used to shave my head until Erik convinced me otherwise. And since I started to visit Earth the entire kingdom sees me as a traitor, and treats me as such. Why do you think I live here, away from everyone, alone? " He was no longer shouting, calming progressively as the last bits ofspite flew from his mouth

"I won't take any more of it. I won't let anyone treat me like that gain. Not even you, especially not you." He wiped his eyes clean and looked at Thor with defiance. It was a warning, and the golden prince for once understood it.

"Loki I...I think your hair is beautiful." Thor knew it was a stupid nonsense but in that moment it felt like the right thing to say. Loki just exhaled loudly and looked down, suddenly very interested in this own hands. For a moment he looked like a child, alone and afraid in the dark. But he wasn't alone, not anymore. Thor got closer to him, with a care rarely seen in the muscled prince, and encircled him in his arms. Loki's body tensed for a minute, but then relaxed in his lover's embrace and leaned his forehead on Thor's shoulder.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours. Loki's cold body progressively getting warmer in Thor's arms, and the soft locks of his hair tickling the prince's face, entangling in his beard and tempting him close...At the end Thor buried his face in the dark mane and inhaled deeply, enjoying that particular smell he had become so fond of. The smell of ice and fir trees mixed with that faint smell of something bittersweet and warm. How ironic, his freezing Jotun smelled warm.

"Thor," Loki murmured quietly "Let's go inside, you'll get cold."

"Of course, my dear."

They let go of each other and went into the house, where Loki lit a fire with just a flick of his hand. It almost felt dreamlike, as they kissed and fell into the sofa, cuddling beneath a thick blanket and Loki caressed Thor's beard and leaned into his touch. Everything was all right again.

"This is perfect," Thor murmured, burying his nose into Loki's hair again.

"Are you sure? Wouldn't you prefer to be somewhere warmer?" Oh how lovely that smile was!

"I'm already warm, here, with you."

"Huum..."

"But yes, maybe in some Midgardian beach would be nice too. You know, to see you in a swimsuit." Loki chucked, certainly amused by such insolence.

"Maybe in Hawaii then, so I can throw you into an active volcano."

"Nah! I've already been to Hawaii; some friends of mine had been forced to accept an invitation as a wedding gift. At the end we went as a group."

"A wedding gift? How 'original'."

"Well, their honeymoon was to Russia so I guess it's OK."

"Russia? An unusual destination for a honeymoon."

"The bride was from there. Which would you choose?"

"For a honeymoon? Mmm..." Loki closed his eyes thinking of an answer. "Maybe New Zealand. I've never been there, but it's said to be one of the most beautiful places on Earth."

"Oh! They are the capital of extreme sports too!" Loki glared at him with a sideways smirk. "What?"

"Really, Thor? Extreme sports?"

"Why not? I tried some of them; they are exciting."

"You may have your sports then, but I prefer sightseeing."

"Nice! Ah! Do you know what I've always wanted to do too? A gastronomic route."

"Always thinking about food, eh? And do you have any particular type in mind?"

"Somewhere warm for a change. Had you ever tried Spanish traditional food? My friend Clint, the one that got married, once confused Mexico with Spain, so Tony dragged us all to a typical Spanish restaurant, to teach him the difference. For Odin's beard! It all tasted heavenly! I especially liked that big dark sausage with rice and the potato omelette..."

"Fine, fine, gastronomic tour all across Spain too. Anyway, it's been centuries since my last visit there." Loki placed a soft kiss on the prince's cheek. "Are you happy now?"

"Yes," Thor kissed one of Loki's horns in response "And one more place."

"Hum?"

"New York."

"New York? For a honeymoon? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Well, yes, it's a bit loud and stressing, but I would really like to introduce you to my friends. I think you'd get along."

Loki rolled his eyes and threw his arms around Thor's neck. "You are impossible. Fine then; New Zealand, Spain and New York. Sounds good to me."

They kissed again, and Thor felt like melting. The Loki strong and proud, as always; the Loki vulnerable and open from before; and that sweet and playful Loki from now, planning a honeymoon they'd never have. Thor adored them all; he could get lost in those vivid eyes kissed by fire, or let himself be devoured by those hungry lips. Loki had become his obsession and would be his doom. But the worst part was that he didn't mind. He thought about Loki's hands over his body...

But he also thought about Asgard, his father, mother, friends...

...And finally took a decision.

The night was dark in Jotunheim, for no stars could light the skies of the dead realm. Thor left Loki's house and headed to the lake, taking a seat and staring at it, waiting for the faint sun to rise, outlining the silhouette of the mountains and the mist to cover the waters as it did every day. It was beautiful, and the Aesir observed it for a long time, as if trying to memorise every detail of it. He then stood up and with a long breath lifted his arm.

The engagement bracelet was shining calmly around his wrist. He took it out and observed it for like the thousandth time. The proof of his destiny, the proof that his love wasn't his to give, the proof that his heart was locked in a cage. He took it out and with a swing of his arm...

...tossed it into the lake.

So clever Thor just did something really stupid and thus drove us to the events up from chapter 16, but that's for later.

Hope you enjoyed this one ^^

Reviews, please? (or an innocent pony will die!)