Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. That's the marvelous Victor Hugo.
Courfeyrac has kissed everyone in the Independents except Grantaire and Enjolras, and he's really quite proud of it. He loves telling the story, so when Cosette asks to hear it, and everyone else groans, he prepares to retell it with a glee seen only in children at Christmastime.
"I dated Jehan on and off freshman year, so we've kissed quite a lot." Courfeyrac shoots a wink at the poet, and he buries his face in his teal sweater. "I told Montparnasse this once—"
"You didn't!" Cosette gasps.
"I did. He got very snide about it, so I kissed 'Ponine to piss him off."
"I remember that," recalls Eponine, smiling, tucked into a corner of the café by Feuilly.
Courfeyrac nods and winks. "10/10. That was the birth of an idea that would soon grow to consume me. I became obsessed with the need to kiss all of these glorious bastards here. So the next time Marius was buying shots, I kissed Feuilly."
"He did, the sonuvabitch."
"And I'm pretty sure he moaned 'Poland' into my mouth."
"I did not!" Feuilly protests.
"Sure you didn't," Courfeyrac teases. Feuilly crosses his arms and mutters another affirmation to Eponine, who pats his arm reassuringly. "Then, later that night, due to the fact that he had entirely too much vodka, Feuilly kissed Combeferre, and I sort of weaseled my way into that one. Never doubt my weaseling prowess; it is something to be feared and admired."
"I'll say," Combeferre mumbles under his breath to Enjolras, who laughs.
"I heard that. A few nights later, I drunk-kissed Bossuet, and then Joly found out, so I kissed him to shut him up. He kept whining that I got him sick."
"You did get me sick!"
"Bossuet got you sick."
"…because you kissed him!"
Courfeyrac waved a hand dismissively. "Details. Bahorel and I kissed on my birthday when we were playing spin-the-bottle, and before you interrupt, it does count, so quit your bitching." Bahorel rolls his eyes. "That was the same night I grabbed everyone's ass. Great night. And…I think that's everyone. Grantaire and Enjolras are spoilsports and won't let me near them."
"Can you blame us?" Grantaire asked.
"You've kissed me as well," Cosette reminds him, and Marius visibly stiffens.
"Oh, yeah, I forgot. Or didn't wanna say in front of Pontmercy, 'cause he's gonna be a little bitch about it," Courfeyrac grins at his friend.
Marius just scoots down in his chair so that his back is touching the seat, crosses his arms, and pouts.