"Thank you." John said simply, again surprising the detective.
"Why are you thanking me? The bug was obviously planted so that they could listen in on me."
The doctor crossed his arms once more. "Then why was it addressed to me?"
Sherlock gave the doctor yet another exasperated look.
"Because the mail I get goes straight into the garbage. Obviously whoever sent the package figured that you, with your parade of female companions, wouldn't think twice about a random gift from a lady. They also probably knew that you wouldn't attempt to figure the box out and would have-"
John held up a hand. "Hold on a moment, parade of female companions? I do not have a 'parade of female companions.'" The doctor emphasized his point with air quotes.
"You have had 13 dates this past month. Those were with six different women. Granted only three of those ended in sexual intercourse-" John gawked at the detective, embarrassed that he could read all that so easily. "-but still more than is average for a man your age. As I was saying, whoever sent that, has been observing you for at the very least a month."
The doctor sighed, running a hand over his face and glancing back at Sherlock. "So what do we do about it?"
The detective smiled. "We are going to fight."
The doctor quirked an eyebrow. "What, exactly, are you talking about?"
The detective's smile broadened. He opened the door to the room, before pushing the doctor backwards roughly, knocking John's alarm clock to the floor in the process.
"You bumbling idiot! Do you realize how much work went into that? Days of research and you just knock it over like it's no big deal."
John stumbled for a moment, trying to regain his balance and figure out what his insane flat mate was talking about. "How's this my fault? You pushed me!"
It had clicked. Sherlock wanted to give whoever was listening in something to act on. Alright then.
"It isn't my fault that you can't keep yourself balanced." John grinned, stomping down the stairs in a huff.
"Can't keep myself balanced? You want to talk unbalanced? Have you seen yourself?" Sherlock paused, the words digging into him. John didn't notice, he simply stomped playfully around the flat.
"You could be a bit more considerate! My experiments are delicate; you can't just go floundering around the house like that!"
John rolled his eyes, before knocking a stack of books off the end table. "I'll show you floundering."
Sherlock smiled slightly. "Oh now you're just being childish. Honestly, John."
The doctor shrugged, knocking over a chair and then snatching his coat from the rack. "You want childish? Fine, I'll leave. I'm going to Greg's."
The detective got the hint, gesturing to his phone. John nodded a goodbye and slammed the door behind him.
Sherlock paced the flat, grumbling nonsense as he picked up the mess his blogger had made. He knew the fight had been fake, but a few bits of it still jabbed at him. Did John really think him unstable? Why did it matter if he did? And why had someone attempted to bug the flat in the first place?
Sherlock walked over to the table, examining the blipping device carefully. It was obviously recording, probably transmitting everything that was happening directly to whoever sent it. That's it! The detective rushed into the living room, snatching John's laptop from its usual residence. A few moments and some typing later, and he had hacked directly into the signal. Its source was surprising, and it made the whole affair so much more interesting.
Meanwhile, John walked brusquely down the street, trying to keep up the charade that he was pissed at Sherlock. He knew that if someone had been watching him, then they would still be doing so.
He mumbled something under his breath and pulled out his phone, shooting a quick message to Lestrade about meeting him. He checked his phone again, doubling back on himself to go to Scotland Yard. He knew that Sherlock would meet him there eventually.