Author's note: I think I made up for the really short chapter, eh? Please read and review and whatnot. Thanks!
2D opened the back door of the house.
He slowly closed it behind him as he pulled a fag from his pocket and slipped it inside his mouth.
It seemed very hard for him to leave Noodle asleep in his room.
He wanted to stay right there with her, but sometimes he needed a little smoke break.
A time he'd always used to clear his stress.
He loved the sweet serenity of the night and how the darkness left him peace.
That was one of the few things that made him feel peaceful besides Noodle.
Even back on Plastic Beach 2D knew no pirates would attack at night and Murdoc was too drunk to find him and beat him.
"It's odd really..."
2D thought to himself.
"Murdoc is shitfaced and piss drunk a lot less often now days."
He smiled.
Truthfully, when Murdoc was sober he wasn't awful.
He never really was.
Murdoc always just put up a good front for a crowd.
When they were recording Murdoc and 2D would sometimes have endless nights just talking about their pasts.
They even shared their hopes and dreams for the future.
That was long time ago.
It reminded 2D of the release of Gorillaz and the year 2001.
That's back when Murdoc was his friend.
He didn't try to kill him every 15 seconds like he did now.
That was a time when Russel's mind was still mostly there.
When he wasn't always mourning the loss of a friend or feeling completely blank.
That was a time where Noodle was only a little girl.
11 years old to be exact.
2D shook slightly.
Noodle isn't so little anymore.
She isn't so...young.
He though of how she transitioned from a friend to some sort of friendly lover.
He loved how she made him feel younger and alive...and happy.
He wasn't all that old, but being around Murdoc made him feel aged.
He inhaled the stinging smoke as he thought even more.
Murdoc made him think too much and for once Noodle made it stop.
2D and Murdoc had fallen out a long time ago.
After El Mañana 2D didn't want to try to work anything out with him.
He didn't want to talk to him.
He didn't want look at him.
He didn't even want to think about him.
What him and Murdoc used to have was even more complicated than what he has with Noodle now.
He sometimes blamed the beatings, the hurt, and pain on himself.
He deserved the bruises Murdoc gave him sometimes.
Most the time Murdoc just came in and found pleasure in hurting the man...
for no reason at all.
The happy days between them seemed long gone.
He couldn't figure out why he always forgave the older man.
It could be because of what they had at one point in time.
It seemed as if he couldn't believe those days were dead.
For some reason Demon Days seemed to be his happiest.
The irony he found in that was almost laughable.
Now he was just as happy, if not more, but he couldn't help think.
All the time.
That's all 2D ever seemed to do in the last 3 years.
Think.
He hated it.
The fact that his mind ran at a constant.
He missed it when he couldn't think at all.
Almost as if he had no brain whatsoever.
Ignorance is bliss.
Maybe that's why he loved being with Noodle so much.
She made him feel like he didn't have to think.
Almost as if she took every worry or care he had and brushed it all away with one single smile and touch.
He loved that about her.
He loved many things about her.
He wanted to love her.
He felt like he did...
but he couldn't ruin things.
Why did he always feel like he'd ruin things?
Even if it wasn't his fault he felt like it was.
Even if it wasn't his problem at all he felt like it was.
Either way. He felt terrible.
Almost sick.
His eyes started to sting as he thought of everything that was his fault.
He felt like El Mañana was his fault.
He felt like Noodle going missing was his fault.
Getting kidnapped by Murdoc was his fault.
Getting beaten at a constant was his fault.
His drug addiction was his fault.
Losing his eyes was his fault.
Falling out of that stupid tree at 11 was his fault.
It's his fault his hair is blue.
It was his fault Paula cheated on him.
It was definitely his fault for not realizing it wasn't the first time.
It's his fault Noodle was trapped in hell and he couldn't protect her.
Even getting that eviction note was his fault.
Everything was his fault.
2D started to feel his eyes burn.
Tears started to fall.
"Toochi?"
2D quickly wiped his tears away.
"Yes Noodle love?"
She walked up to him and grabbed his hands.
"What's wrong?"
Noodle stared at him. She could see the skewness in his body and his black eyes had turned white again. He slightly shivered as Noodle had grown more concerned.
"2D what are you crying?"
"Nofink...nofink impo'tant anyways...don' worry 'bout me luv. Jus'...go back inside..."
"I'm not leaving you."
2D nodded.
"What's wrong?"
2D looked down and shook his head like a small child.
"I told yew i's not impo'tant."
"2D please..."
"Noodle...I can 'andle it."
"Stuart..."
Noodle whispered quietly as 2D looked up at her.
"Please."
She looked into his hollow eyes and despite the nullity of them she knew something had bothered him.
Somehow it seemed as if she knew what he was always feeling.
Just like it seemed like she understood calling him by his first name was like his weakness.
2D started to sob uncontrollably.
Noodle pulled his lengthy torso into an embrace as he looked back up with stained cheeks.
"Noodle I'm so sorry...I..I's my f-fawlt...awl of ih. Yew...yew didn' need to go through awl of tha'...El Mañana was my fawlt..."
Noodle lightly brushed her small thumb onto his cheek like he'd done to her many times before.
"You know none of that was your fault."
"B-b-but I...I didn' look fo' yew as much as I should've...an karma 'as come back to me fo' ih'. T'ats why Mudz beats me...I deserve ih'."
"Toochi you aren't making any sense. You don't deserve that."
"But I do. I jus' sat there an' watched yew almos' die...I don' deserve fo' yew to be back wiff me. Yew shoul' be mad at me."
Noodle smiled at him sadly.
"Please don't blame yourself for things you had no control over."
"But I didn' try to fix t'e fings I did 'ave control over. Like 'elpin' find yew...or stopping tha' phyco Cyborg...or even trying to fix the relationship I ruined wiff Mudz a long time ago..."
"You and Murdoc can still be friends. Just try to-"
"Noodle i's too late. An wha' we 'ad was so much more complica'ed than friends. I can' tell yew wha' awl 'appened but...I messed ih' up...ih' was awl messed up anyways...there's so much I jus' messed up."
Noodle's head started to spin. She suddenly became extremely nauseous as she thought of the possibilities of what 2D would tell her if she questioned further.
"Well...you tell me everything. What could this one secret hurt?"
2D looked at her as tears started to stream down his face once again.
"T'ese are secrets I can't say. Ih' coul' 'urt yew. The one fing I promised to myself I'd nevah 'urt."
Noodle weaved her fingers into his hair.
"I can take it."
2D exhaled heavily and turned around and looked into Noodle's shimmering green eyes.
He brushed her hair out of her eyes and kissed her lips softly.
"I-I'm sorry...goodnight Noodle."
He gave her a dejected smile as he dragged himself inside the house.
Noodle stood there and looked at the door with great confusion.
Many hours later Noodle was laying on her bed.
The room was quiet.
So quiet it almost felt as if her brain was trying to break the silence with massive screams of thought.
She stayed laying there in fetal position while clutching her chest as her heart raced.
She felt as if something was going to burst out of her heart soon...
or out of her head.
She couldn't figure out why he didn't trust her with this.
This one secret...then again he said serects. Plural.
Had him and Murdoc been...a couple?
Had 2D been with the disgusting man she knew to be Murdoc?
Was 2D implying that they'd had sex before?
Noodle felt a sharp pain surge through her.
It felt as if her lungs had collapsed and she was going to have a heart attack.
She couldn't think of it.
She couldn't bear to even imagine.
Noodle squeezed her eyes shut as tears had tried to escape.
They were coming rapidly and seemed to almost burn.
They fell down her soft cheeks and felt as if they were scalding her.
She cried out in the pain she seemed to be mentally giving herself.
It was like hell all over again.
Noodle's screams surged through the house.
She could hear them. The demons calling her name.
"Nooodllee...he doesn't love you. Can't you see? Your "family" has left your home. They don't even miss you."
"That's a lie..." she whispered softly in her sleep.
"A lie? Murdoc is glad you left! That gives him time to have 2D all to himself!"
"You're lying!"
"Now Noodle..." they grabbed her arms tightly with agression.
"Why would we lie to you?"
She felt their sharp nails digging into her shoulders and her sides.
She screamed to get them away from her.
She needed to get out.
She couldn't do this again.
Her eyes shot open as she sat up in a cold sweat.
She heard her name being yelled from above.
Suddenly her window had opened and she saw a brown mass outside of it.
"Noodle!? NOODLE! Baby-girl are you alright? What's happening?!"
Noodle looked out of her window to realize Russel's hand was hanging from the rooftop.
"Russel...hold out your hand and bring me up."
Russel put his palm out flat as Noodle climbed onto it carefully.
He brought her up slowly and placed her on his stomach.
Somehow being right there in front of Russel calmed her down.
He'd always calmed her down in the past.
Not like 2D had though...
"Why were you screamin' like that?! What happened?! What did Mudz do to you?! I swear I'll break his motherfuckin' neck!"
Noodle shook her head.
"Murdoc did nothing wrong...or at least he didn't mean to this time."
Russel gave her a questioning look.
"What do you mean? What did I miss? I need to get back to normal size so I can fit in the house and keep an eye on all you."
"Well Russel...you missed a few things."
Noodle exhaled just as deeply as 2D had earlier.
"I must tell you...2D and I are kind of an item."
Russel sent her a look that was a mix of confusion, anger, and shock and put together and shaken up.
"Woah...wait a second. Not 2D? Not Stuart Pot?"
"Yes."
"I knew it. I knew he would try somethin' funny with you. I saw how he acted towards you when we arrived on that piece of shit island. I should've said somethin' then... dammit. Is he the reason you were screaming and cryin'? Baby-girl I swear I'll wring his toothpick ass and break all his twiggy bones!"
"Russel-san there is no need...he is the reason...but it's me. He did nothing wrong."
"You sure about that? I can arrange for him to lose his life."
Noodle giggled slightly and shook her head.
"There's no need. What happened was I found him crying and when I asked him what was wrong he started talking about how a bunch of things were his fault. Things he couldn't do anything about. He said El Mañana was his fault and that Cyborg was his fault too...we all know that was purely Murdoc."
"Yeah we all should know it was that crazy ass lunatic! Did 2D say anything else stupid?"
"Well yeah sort of..."
Noodle gently cleared her throat.
"He said he messed things up with Murdoc and had some secrets...when I asked what thing were he just...left."
She seemed to become completely numb as the words spilled out of her mouth.
She looked at Russel who's face was also unreadable.
"Would you...happen to know what happened between them...or anything?"
Russel gave her a nervous look.
"Not exactly. I know they were friends at one point in time...I ain't ever seen it."
"Well...has he...had sex with Murdoc?"
Russel shrugged.
"I hope not. I wouldn't have a damn clue. All I know is I don't want to see you get hurt. If you're hurt I'm hurt, and if I'm hurt 2D's hurt. In the end we'll all be hurtin'."
Noodle smiled.
"Well...I need to get some sleep Russel-san. Will you take me back to my room?"
Russel smiled.
"Sure thing baby-girl."
He streched out his hand and lowered Noodle into her room.
Once she climbed inside she closed her window and turned around.
2D was sitting on her bed crying his eyes out.
He suddenly hopped up at the sight of her.
"Noodle! Are yew awright?! Wha' 'appened? I 'eard yew screamin' an' I couldn't fink straight!"
"Don't be so worried. I talked with Russel."
"Oh...well Noods, if me not answerin' yew bothered yew t'at much I'll tell yew jus'...please don' scare me like tha'. I was worried sick...please..."
Noodle looked down at her feet.
"It just hurt me that you did't trust me...I thought about the possibilities and it felt like it was tearing me from the inside out..."
"Noodle..."
2D inhaled like he had before. He panicked.
"Me an' Mudz 'ave 'ad sex a couple of times. I regret every second I spent wiff 'im an' I didn' want yew to be 'urt..."
"I knew it...I-I..."
"Noodle I'm sorry...please forgive me..."
Noodle began whimpering softly.
"It is the past and all...but not telling before doesn't make it hurt less."
"I know...Noodle I care about yew so much an'...it was so long ago an' I also 'ave to tell yew-"
"Toochi..."
He stopped.
"I love you and I trust you enough to believe it's over."
It felt as if his heart had stopped from those words.
"Yew...yew...love me?"
"Yes. I love you so much it hurts."
2D shook his head.
"Noodle...I've tol' yew I'm not worth ih'..."
"And I've told you I don't care."
Noodle grabbed his hands and looked into his unending eyes.
"I love you and the demons told me that you won't love me...and you'll leave me... they told me you've lied..."
2D leaned forward into a deep kiss.
"I love yew too Noodle...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...if I knew what we'd be now ih' woulda' never 'appened. Those demons are t'e liars. I really do love yew."
Noodle nodded.
"Stay the night with me Toochi?"
"O' course I will."
2D smiled as Noodle climbed into the bed.
He slowly got under the sheets with her and wrapped his arms around her gently.
"Goodnight Toochi."
"Goodnight Noodle...I love yew."
he placed a gentle peck onto her forehead as they lay there silently.
Noodle fell asleep quickly into his arms as he thought to himself.
Although she forgave him and everything worked out, he never got to finish.
He couldn't help but feel like things were still going to go awry.
2D woke up and looked over to see Noodle entangled in his embrace.
Although she was so close to him she still seemed distant.
Even when she was asleep.
Her back was turned towards him and her arms were slightly dangling off the side of the bed.
He sighed.
He knew what he told her last night bothered her.
It would bother most people.
It bothered him to even think about it or the outcome of it all.
He couldn't bring up the courage to tell her the truth.
Too many things were bothering him.
Noodle's eyes fluttered open.
Yawning and stretching her arms out she glanced over to 2D giving him an unreadable expression.
It wasn't her usual bright grin in the morning.
It was something far more despairing.
2D placed his hand onto hers as she pulled slightly away from him.
"Are yew still mad at me?"
Noodle looked at the ground.
"I was never truly mad at you to begin with."
2D didn't know really what to do with that response. He placed her hand into his again.
"Noodle...we were young an' aroun' yo' age an' not to mention piss drunk."
"Every time you did it?"
Sudden silence hit them both. She knew she didn't want a response. If anything she wanted to pretend it never happened.
"Noodle...ih' was a mistake. An' every time we did ih' I was around 19 or 20. At tha' time 'e didn' hit me as often or anyfink. Ih' was so long ago tha' I don' even know why I needed to tell yew. Tha's why I didn' the first time. Every single time e' really was shitfaced...the firs' time I was too..after tha' I was just stupid. Then again I'm not known for being the smart one. Tha's you an' Russel. I was young an' Mudz was like a God to me then. I don' know why ih' 'appened but ih' did. It never will again. Yew're the only person I've told. Ih' doesn't even seem like we'd be the type to do tha' wiff each other...but still I fink-"
"Stuart. I do not wish to talk about this any longer."
Her voice sounded cold.
It filled the air with slight bitterness and anger.
Noodle wasn't the type to get angry at all.
He tried to explain.
He didn't seem to know why she was so rigid if she wasn't mad.
She only said his real name when she felt very strongly about something.
2D's emotions took over.
He tried to think logically before he did anything.
The next thing he knew he'd grabbed Noodle and firmly pressed his lips against hers.
She seemed to be kissing back weakly...but none the less kissing back.
He grabbed her midsection and pressed her small body against his own.
She was suddenly surprised at the force of his kisses or how strong his arms seemed.
She broke the kiss and cleared her throat.
"Umm...wow. I...wow."
"I didn' know wha' else to do."
"Well I'm sure that was the right thing to do."
2D gave her his infamous toothless grin.
"Why can' we jus' stay 'appy?"
"We can. Just because we've had one misunderstanding doesn't mean anything."
Noodle nuzzled 2D's chest and started to cry softly.
"Why a' yew cryin love'?"
Noodle smiled sadly.
"I just don't want things to be ruined. I feel like I let you off too easy...but you always find a way around being in trouble with me."
2D glanced over.
"Well I feel like I'm always hurtin' yew..."
"That's not true. If anything, you've made things better. "
He smiled.
"I should've died in El Mañana. I've told myself many times maybe death should've claimed me...I'm happy I'm still alive. You've helped me with that."
2D tangled his slender fingers into her hair.
"Yew're the reason I didn' kill myself on tha' beach."
Noodle looked into his blackened holes.
"You were going to kill yourself?"
"Yeh...Murdoc's beatin's...tha' Cyborg...being forced to do fings...I couldn' take ih'. I was plannin' on takin' a few pills too many on purpose...but then yew came..."
2D smiled releasing the discomfort Noodle was beginning to feel.
"Yew saved me."
Noodle clung tighter to 2D's chest as the bedroom door opened.
Murdoc walked into the room stumbling and obviously slightly drunk.
"Look girly...I don' care if you two are shaggin' or not...but I could 'ear yo' screams all the way in my room. If ya' gonna shag t'e dullard to it quietly."
"Murdoc, I 'ope yew know-"
"I wasn't fuckin' talkin' to ya' faceache!"
Tension built up in the air.
It was so thick t was almost tangible.
"Murdoc we were not having sex...that's really not a good topic right now..."
"Well frankly I dun' give a shit wha' you two do. All I know is you were screamin' too loud fo' me to sleep. I dun' know why you were screamin' though... I bet e's got a tiny li'l pecker an' e's bad in bed. Then again you 'aven't 'ad sex before so ya' wouldn't know t'e bloody difference..."
"Murdoc..."
"I mean I dun' know why anyone would want to shag tha'...THING."
Noodle suddenly grew furious. She tried to push 2D's secret out of her mind but Murdoc shoved it back as soon as it began to slip from her memory.
"MURDOC. WE ALL KNOW THAT-"
"NOODLE STOP! MURDOC...J-JUS' GET OUT!"
2D cut off her sentence and gave Noodle a fearful look.
Murdoc gave them both a sickly grin and his tongue rolled smoothly out of his twisted mouth.
He pulled it back in as he began to speak.
"No need to be so hostile... 'ave fun bein' a pedophile dullard."
Murdoc slammed the door behind him as 2D stood up.
"Noodle...yew can' be gettin' so mad at 'im tha' yew jus' start shoutin' fings yew shouldn't even know."
"I'm sorry...but did you hear him?"
"Yes I 'eard 'im! I ignored it!"
Noodle shot an angry look at 2D.
"You need to learn how to have a backbone! Don't take that from him!"
"Noodle I know when I need to stan' up to 'im and yew of all people knows sometime 'e don' DESERVE a response! I mean for God sake...e' was tellin' yew tha' I 'ave a small dick! Do yew honestly fink I care? We all know e's a wanker! Don' waste yo' breath on 'im! "
Noodle looked at 2D with surprise and exhaled calmly.
"We really have changed."
"Wha' do yew mean?"
Noodle went face down onto the bed.
She rolled over and looked at 2D.
"I mean...we've grown up a lot since Kong."
2D climbed onto the bed and threw his arm around Noodle.
"I know."
2D kissed her.
"Cause now I can do tha'."
Noodle giggled.
"I truly hate it when we fight..."
Noodle stated quietly.
"I do too..."
He grabbed her hand and wrapped his fingers around hers.
"What have we gotten ourselves into?"
Noodle looked into 2D's eyes longingly and desperately...almost as if she were searching for answers. She hated that she couldn't read his eyes like everyone else.
"I don' know...but it'll all be worth it in the end. I'll go through anyfink fo' yew."
2D and Noodle laid there and embraced for a while longer. 2D could feel the guilt built up into his chest. He avoided the ugly truth. She was right. He needed a backbone.