John swallowed thickly and tapped the message, expecting a scathing reprimand for comfortingly with Mycroft.
Need a few things from the shop. Care to pick them up?
-SH
John squinted at his phone.
Yea, Sure. What do you need?
-J
He took a few steps forward before he got his reply.
Milk. Those snack things I like. Lube.
-SH
John froze.
What?
Did he seriously just-
And person slammed into him from behind, shouting something along the lines of "dumbass standing the the middle of the sidewalk."
John's phone flew out of his hand and skittered amongst the crowd.
And woman-mid thirties, attractive, DEFINATLY the type of girl John would have picked up in the past- scooped the phone phonefrom the ground. She glanced the message, and blushed, as John made his way to her.
"I believe this is yours."
She mumbled, and John nodded, taking his phone back from her.
She giggled, a quiet. "Good luck." Falling from her lips as she made her way through the crowd.
Puzzled, John looked down at his phone, and his ears burned red.
He had gotten another message from Sherlock.
Don't bother with condoms. We both know I'm clean. You proved your knowledge of that last night.
-SH
I know you're clean too. Checked your records from the clinic.
-SH
John shook his head and huffed, exasperated.
Honestly.
How did you even get those? Doesn't matter. I'm not picking THAT up. I don't know what to get.
-J
He hadn't even managed a step before Sherlock responded.
LUBE John. Honestly it isn't that difficult.
-SH
The doctor snorted.
What kind? How much? I have no idea what I'm doing.
-J
And it easy true. He'd bought these kinds of things before, but never for this kind of, activity. He had no clue what to get.
You're the one with all the experience here.
-SH
There was a pause, in which John kept walking.
I can answer that second part though.
-SH
The doctor didn't respond.
A lot, John. We need a lot.
-SH
John's eyes grew wide and his mouth went dry as he read that message.
His mind flowing over dozens of scenarios and possibilities that left him breathless.
He ducked into the nearest shop, making his way directly to the healthcare section.
He was utterly amazed by the quantity of selections they had.
God Sherlock, there has to be 60 different kinds here. How the fuck am I supposed to choose?
-J
No response. John sighed and glanced around nervously.
He felt himself pale as his eyes landed on none other than Greg Lestrade.
Shit, Lestrade is here. What if he sees me?
-J
As if on cue, the DI turned around and caught sight of the doctor. He waved, and walked over, a giant grin plastered on his face.
"Well well, fancy seeing you here. Figured you'd be tethered to Sherlock. Congratulations by the way."
John shifted nervously, his gaze flicking to the shelf beside him.
"Uh, yea, just picking up a few things for Sherlock."
The DI chuckled and pointed to the shelf.
"Just for Sherlock eh?"
The doctor groaned and hung his head, much to the amusement of the DI.
"Shit, you've caught me."
John looked up and chuckled.
"Don't suppose you could help a mate out and tell me which of these I need."
It was Lestrade's turn to blush.
"Uh, yea actually."
He grabbed a bottle off of the shelf and placed it into John's basket.
The doctor stared at him, openmouthed.
"Seriously?."
His disbelief was palpable.
Lestrade nodded.
"It's a, uhh, it's a good brand. A bit pricey, but, uhh, yea. Good."
The DI turned to leave, but John caught his arm, spinning him around so they were face to face.
"Who?"
The DI shifted nervously and glanced at the CCTV cameras now trained on them.
He coughed.
Understanding shone in the doctor's eyes.
"No."
There was the slightest of nods.
"Seriously? You and Mycroft?"
Lestrade nodded, clearing his throat and squaring his shoulders.
"Yes, we, umm, we sort of, we dabble."
John shook his head and tried cross his arm, the briefcase and basket impeding the action.
"Since when.?"
Lestrade shrugged.
"Since Sherlock finished rehab."
The doctor smiled.
"Does Sherlock know?"
The DI shook his head.
"God no. If he did do you honestly think he'd let me live it down?"
John had to admit, Sherlock wouldn't.
"So, umm- God Greg this is awkward- but any other recommendations? I mean, I'm kind of new to all of this and-"
Lestrade held up his hands.
"Please, just, stop."
He turned and pulled two more bottles from the shelf, dumping them into the basket.
"There. Please tell me you don't need help with anything else?"
His eyes wandering to the other end of the isle.
John's eyes widened and he shook his head , both hands in front of him.
"No! No, we, ah, we're good there, thanks."
The two men stood awkwardly in front of each other, neither one knowing what to say.
"Umm, well-"
John nodded his head towards the registers.
Lestrade rubbed the back of his neck and nodded.
"Yea, yea of course. It was ah, good seeing you, I guess."
"Yea."
There was a few awkward waves as they parted, John heading to grab the other groceries he needed.
As soon as be was out of the DI's line of sight, he texted Sherlock.
That was the single most awkward moment of my life.
-J
He grabbed a few bags of sweets, using them to bury the other contents of his basket.
I take it Lestrade saw you then.
-SH
The doctor rolled his eyes.
No shit Sherlock.
-J
He could practically see the scowl Sherlock must have been giving him through the phone.
What is it with your propensity for using that phrase?
-SH
John couldn't help himself. The image of a Sherlock pouting at his phone was enough to make any sane man fight a smile.
It came as no shock that he burst into a fit of giggles.
The strange looks he garnered from the two old ladies puttering about the isle was nothing compared to the hilariously confused expression that filled the DI's features as he peered around the corner.
"Was that you?"
John shrugged and grabbed a box of cereal from it's shelf.
Lestrade made his way back to the doctor, his own groceries piled precariously in his arms.
"What's so funny?"
The doctor shook his head and grinned at his phone, holding it up to display the previous segments of his conversation to the DI.
Lestrade grinned and rolled his eyes.
"You do use that a lot."
John shrugged again, making his way to the back of the store, Lestrade at his side.
"Nice phone by the way. What model?"
"No idea. It was a gift from your boyfriend, actually. Bit of a 'Congratulations for shagging my brother gift, as odd as that sounds.'"
The DI shook his head, leaning back to re-balance the bottle of shampoo that was now threatening to fall to the floor.
"That does sound like him. You'd be surprised at how similar he and Sherlock are."
John nodded in agreement, wrestling a bottle of milk into the biscuits nearly crushing a bag of Twizzlers in the process.
"I can imagine. Blimey if i would have known that you were with Mycroft sooner..."
The DI furrowed his brow.
"You would have, what."
The doctor shrugged.
"Used you as a sounding board? I'm sure there's been occasion you've wanted to vent to someone who would understand."
Lestrade nodded once more, this time sending a bag of mints toppling to the floor. John caught it with his foot, which sent both men into a fit of laughter.
"We should do that."
He said, John resettling the mints onto the top of the DI's pile.
"Do what?'
"Meet up at a pub or something, complain about our Holmes, grab a drink or two."
The doctor rolled his eyes, making his way back to the register.
"Like wives complaining about their husbands?"
A shrug.
"Why not. Lord knows you have enough to complain about."
John chuckled, settling his things onto the belt.
"True, and it can't be easy-What was the word you used? Oh.- 'dabbling' with the British Government."
Lestrade frowned, but aquisesed.
"You have a point there."
"You're right though, it would be nice."
The cashier started ringing up John's groceries.
"So The Queen's head, Thursday, work permitting?"
Lestrade nodded, setting his own armful down.
"Sound's like a plan."
Suddenly, both men's attention was turned to the young girl at the register.
She had giggled and was currently covering her mouth with her hand, embarrassed.
"Sorry, sirs. It's just, you two are such a cute couple."
Lestrade's mouth fell open, and even John had to pause.
"I'm sorry. What?"
She held up one of the bottles of lube, shaking it slightly before scanning and bagging it.
"A cute couple."
John shook his head vehemently, raising a hand in abject horror.
"No! We aren't a couple. God no. Just mates."
She looked between the two of them and shook her head, mumbling.
"Yea, and I'm Mary Queen of Scots."
Lestrade bristled and John rolled his eyes, handing her Sherlock's card.
"Doesn't it bother you?"
He hissed, and John simply shrugged.
"I'm used to it with Sherlock."
Greg grinned again.
"But you two are actually a couple though."
John grabbed his groceries and shrugged.
"Apparently. Anyway, give my regards to the queen."
Lestrade went to ask the doctor what he meant, but he was already out the door.
John miraculously made his way to the bus stop, both breifcase and grocries remarkably in tact.
He was relieved to see that the bus was relitivly clear, setting himself into a seat and pulling out his phone.
So how do you make a horribly awkward situation worse?
-J
You didn't answer my question.
-SH
The doctor rolled his eyes, leave it to Sherlock.
He ignored the message, forging on with his own thought.
You have the cashier mistake you for Detective Inspector Lestrade's partner.
-J
There was no response for a few moment, enough for John to contemplate the embarrassment factor of him pulling out and examining exactly what said DI had gotten him to buy.
His phone rang, legitimatly rang, yet again startling the doctor.
He answered it quickly, not bothering with checking the caller ID.
"Hello, Doctor Watson speaking."
Sherlock's voice raspeed over the line, his tone harsh.
"I know who you are John?"
The doctor was taken aback, Sherlock never called.
"What's wrong? Sherlock, you never call."
The concerned note in his voice didn't go unnoticed, as Sherlock's voice dropped from stern to seductive.
"Come home."
John felt his mouth go dry,and he glanced up at the ceiling, attempting to will away the blush blooming on his cheeks.
"I'm on the bus Sherlock."
He heard a groan over the line.
"The bus stop near the Tesco you went to, right? On Holborn?"
The doctor rolled his eyes. Leave it to Sherlock to know exactly what shop he had been in.
"Yes."
"Which means that it will take you approximately 34 minuets to get to our flat given traffic and the speed of your gate."
"Yea, that sounds about right."
"Get off the bus at the next stop. catch a cab, use my card to pay. That'll shave around 20 minuets from your time."
The doctor huffed.
"Why should I? Is there a case or something?"
He could practically hear the detectives scowl.
"As a doctor, you hate exposing yourself to bacteria of any kind, and buses are loaded down with bacteria."
John grinned.
He was going to play that game then?
Fine.
"So are cabs. And I've already paid for this ticket."
"You have a buss pass."
"One that saves me money."
"I have plenty of money, John."
The doctor thought back to his conversation with Lestrade.
Pricey?
He glanced down at his receipt and grimaced.
"Maybe not, considering how much money I just spent for what you asked for at the store. "
He could here the rustling of clothes as Sherlock straitened in alarm.
"Milk can't be that expensive."
John rolled his eyes once more.
"I'm not talking any sort of food source."
He glanced into the bag and swallowed another chuckle.
"Though it is edible, apparently."
The line clicked off then, leaving John to stare at his phone questioningly.
A few moments passed, before one more message was received.