Author's notes: This just gets wackier and wackier. I would apologise, but I don't even think I'm sorry.
However, the ship immediately began to rock even more violently than it had done previously as the girl at the controls gave a malevolent guffaw. Suddenly, Harry found himself lurching violently into Draco, only to be followed by the rest of their motley crew. As the girl screamed with laughter, pressing buttons left right and centre, Zaphod scrambled up to the raised dais to seize controls but the girl fought him away, kicking and screaming.
However hard the girl fought, though, there was no denying that Zaphod was bigger and stronger than she was and he eventually regained control of the ship as it stopped rocking.
"We're here!" the girl declared animatedly, fighting for control of her arms Zaphod had in a full-Nelso. "Oh, you're going to love this, Zaphey!"
Zaphod released his grip on the girl and stared at her. "What was all that about, then?"
The girl widened her eyes nonchalently, before bouncing over to the door. "Twenty-first century Japan, guys!" Harry failed to feel impressed, which evidently showed as the girl gave him another slap around the chops. The girl then flung open the door of the spaceship, revealing that they were in an ornate hallway with a large door immediately opposite them. Above the door was a large sign reading "MUSIC ROOM 3".
Intrigued, Harry pushed past the girl, dragging Draco after him, and placed a hand on the music room door. Wrenching it down before the girl could stop him, Harry found himself facing a group of people in red t-shirts, each brandishing a microphone and a long sword. The whole room seemed to sparkle like some sort of demon vampire society, and the shock of the glitter overload forced Harry to blink.
"Welcome," began the boy who appeared to be the leader, a kid with a pair of goggles placed over his spiky hair, "to the Host... WAIT A SECOND." The entire group from the TARDIS blinked this time.
"YOU'RE NOT KARI!" the spiky-haired boy exclaimed, withdrawing his sword from its sheath. "V-Headbutt, Veemon!" At that, the sword's blade turned into a small, blue dragon, who proceeded to charge towards Harry with a fearsome expression on its face. As Draco leapt in front of Harry, the latter noticed a taller boy with dark blue hair muttering something and a small, green caterpillar darted across the room, knocking the blue dragon out of the way.
"Aww, Ken, what'd you do that for?" the sparkly spiky boy demanded, as both Harry and Draco stared at the rather more handsome tall boy with admiration.
"I rather like him," Harry whispered conspiratorially to Draco, who giggled, and before anybody could say anything else a skinny boy with purple hair and large round glasses had crossed the room and slapped both Harry and Draco silly.
"HE'S MIIIIINE!" the purple-haired sparkly boy yelled, continually slapping both boys. He'd get on well with our girl, Harry thought, remembering the powerful slaps of the girl who had brought them there in the first place. Right on cue, the girl stepped in and grinned at the purple-haired boy.
"You're a crossdresser, aren't you?" she said excitably. "Let me help you punch these two!"
The boy called Ken exasperatedly glanced at the four slappees/slappers, before deciding to ignore the spectacle.
"You're perfectly welcome to join us should you so wish," he said smoothly to Zaphod, glittering in the light. "We were just about to perform a rendition of Don't Stop Believing. I'll even fight this idiot, should you wish me to," he continued, pointing towards the sparkly boy with spiky hair. "Anything for our wonderful customers!"
Zaphod nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yes, I should like to see you beat up the fool!" The blue-haired boy grinned, and the glittering around him seemed to intensify.
"In that case, you had better watch out, Daisuke, for I shall not stop believing in my Zanpakuto!" he declared, brandishing the hilt of what had been his sword, the blade of which was still taking the form of a caterpillar by his heel. "Bankai, Stingmon!"
At that moment, the room disappeared while stock footage of the caterpillar spun around to a repetitive tune, before there was a shower of even more sparkles and the caterpillar turned into some sort of giant green insect, who stopped spinning and took up a defensive pose by its master.
However, before the giant green insect could even turn to face the blue dragon, Zaphod seized the backs of Harry and Draco's robes and dragged them backwards, out into the corridor, where they could see a small girl in a showy dress disappearing around a corner, closely followed by another small girl with long, black hair and a video camera, and into the TARDIS.
"I thought it best not to get involved," Zaphod said, slamming the TARDIS door and piloting the ship out of the building just in time for the passengers to get a glimpse of the building exploding in a shower of fabulous sparkles.
Author's notes: If you have managed to wade through the veritable minefield of stray lampshades and are now reading this, I must offer you sincere congratulations. I'm not even sure myself of what I just wrote.
In case anybody was wondering why the change in writing style between chapters 1&2, it's because after writing the first chapter I discovered HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH and it pretty much wore me out on that level of sesquipedalian loquatiousness forever.
As usual, more shall be written/uploaded if I ever think of something good. I'm kind of running out of fandoms, though, so it'll probably take a while for me to discover new stuff to throw in to any future instalments.
To the lovely reviewers, many hugs and virtual cookies for understanding enough of this rubbish to have any opinion at all on it. Thank you. I appreciate your time and effort, and I'm happy some of you are enjoying this. :D