Take Five: The Curio (Poker Game)

The pink-wearing Official collected herself, hiding her shock.

(A dragon. In a well.)

"Wh-What is the meaning of this?!"

Kakashi's eye curved as he mocked, "Why...It means putting out fires, of course."

In the background, the water dragon roared a final time before dissipating into the environment. At the foreground, Kakashi was confronted by a confused but panicking Ministry mob.

Umbridge pursed her lips together. She didn't have the patience to deal with a smart aleck. "The dragon, Mr. Hatake."

"What dragon?" he drawled, persistently naive. "I don't see one around here."

An office aide to the right of Umbridge raised his voice snootily. "We are referring to the dragon that appeared by your elbow."

Curiously, the foreigner lifted both his arms to glance at the aforementioned joints.

The Ministry worker coloured. "It's figurative! I meant the well near your person."

Shooting a dark look at her loud-mouthed associate, Umbridge stalked forwards. "We were present when you were fiddling around here. What did you do? Occult summoning? How can a dragon appear in a well?"

He pocketed his hands once more and hypothesized, "Maybe the dragon usually lives in there and didn't like all the noise." His tone was bland but if one listened carefully, they can discern a hint of cheer. "You shouldn't ask me."

A whiplash of whispers followed.

"-Can't expect sound logic from a wizard of the Eastern continent."

"Doesn't know anything..."

"-Clearly up to something."

Kakashi continued casually, "Though...Are you really considering the idea of me summoning dragons Miss Umberridger?"

"Yes." She snapped testily. "And please, it's Delores Um-bridge! Mr. Hatake, I expect a similar courtesy when you-" Umbridge pause.

"When I...?"

She opened her mouth as if to speak but she held her peace when it finally dawned on her. Her right index finger jabbed accusingly at him. "Your English!"

"Hm?"

"Your pronunciation is-is..." Umbridge brandished her wand with menace. "Your pronunciation is all correct!"

The Hatake shot her a bored look. "You're really observant, aren't you?"

Shacklebolt, who was shadowing the proceedings, stepped in quickly. "Madam, lower you wand! That is too hasty-"

"I am surprised by your actions, Auror. Learn your place and move out of my way!" commanded the Ministry official, every inch imposing. Kingsley bit his tongue, falling back. She accused Kakashi, "Who are you, impostor?!"

...What? Really? With an utmost blank expression possible, Kakashi opted to stare at the woman.

The rest of the Ministry crowd murmured worriedly. Shacklebolt schooled his facial muscles to relax from disbelief.

"You think that I am...a fake?" It appeared Hatake shared Shacklebolt's incredulity as he blinked – or was that a wink? "I am who I appear to be. I don't need to tell you my name when you already know it."

"Kakashi Hatake is a representative of the Eastern Magical Community who arrived in Scotland's Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry three weeks ago. He does not speak fluent English." Umbridge sniffed primly. "Do not lie your way out of this. It is a criminal offense worthy of Azkaban to impersonate a diplomat."

"Actually," started the now dubbed 'impostor'. "I've always spoke with passing English. It was only this afternoon – when I was surprised by the frog that suddenly jumped down my throat – that my English came out a bit, what you call, garbled." Frog indeed. He smiled, visible eye curving. "I don't appreciate the accusations, Miss."

There was a hurried tug on her sleeve as a young female witch implored, "Madam, please reconsider your words. If your claims do not hold against him, there will be trouble from our Minister and the Eastern society."

"I know that, girl." Umbridge gritted her teeth in annoyance before the expression faded away into a sweet smile. She addressed Hatake. "I'm afraid that I must follow protocol and ask for a proof of identity."

Kakashi asked, "...There is no other way?"

Umbridge grinned, all teeth. "No."

"Well..."

"Well?"

"Well. My 'proof of identity' is in another cloak pocket; maybe I'll recite a few facts instead?" He grinned sheepishly and didn't wait for her approval. "My last name is Hatake and my first name is Kakashi. Born on September fifteenth, I'm almost twenty-eight years old. My blood type is O though I sometimes wish it was AB. I'm currently about five-feet-nine-inches and weighing in at one hundred forty-eight and eight hundred twelve thousandths pounds not one hundred forty-nine pounds as it says on my records-"

Umbridge seemed ready to interrupt the inane chattering but he rambled on.

"-I'm ambidextrous and I tend to brush my teeth from the right side to the left – except Mondays. That said, I like to comb my hair from the left side to the right except on Fridays and Saturdays where I don't comb my hair at all; this is because of my longstanding bet with a colleague concerning bed-hair. Hrm...What else...?

"Hem-"

"Ah! Sweets make my teeth ache. Salty foods cause too much salivation in my mouth. I'm also fond of the colours blue and black – even if black isn't truly a colour – and I, nm..."

A younger woman to the left of Umbridge encouraged, "Speak up, Mr. Hatake."

Umbridge gave her a withering look.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head in awkwardness. "...I...I really like porn." The end of that statement was punctuated by a schoolgirl blush.

Porn. The pink-wearing official opened and closed her mouth several times; how she wished to rebuke him but couldn't due to his ambiguous position in power. (What if he wasn't an impostor but was truly the diplomat?)

She cleared her throat. "Hem hem. Very well, I think we've heard enough." Behind her, various heads nodded in plain agreement. "Please excuse my impertinence, Mr. Hatake."

"No harm done." Kakashi added charmingly, "I'll be sure to mention to your Minister of Magic of just how welcoming you are."

Umbridge's nose flared but she did not fall for his bait. She haughtily called forth two Aurors at the back of the crowd. "MacKey. Hartley. Please escort Mr. Hatake to safety while we continue to address the incendiary issue."

Two men, one scrawny and the other tall with a wide girth, stepped towards the 'diplomat' with purpose. Kakashi eyeballed them and remarked, "I don't think there is a safe place with you two around. I'll do better alone, thanks."

"As much as I would like to oblige to your wishes that will not be possible." Umbridge sneered, beckoning at the hesitating Aurors; the other Ministry workers shuffled. "Please follow them. I will speak with you later."

Hatake sighed almost despondently and turned away, his back facing the group. "Alright then, I will-"

A bone-tingling shriek reverberated through the air, interrupting the man.

"Oh my goodness, what is that noise?!"

"Could it be...?"

"It sounded like a monster!"

Umbridge was alarmed. "What was that? Aurors, report!"

Kingsley calmly interjected, "It appears to be a cry of a dragon."

"Agreed, Kingsley. The sound and quality...It might be the astounding draco of aqua again," remarked 'scrawny' Auror Hartley.

"Draco of aqua or not, find the source immediately!"

"Ah...But Miss, I thought you had a fire to moni-" Kakashi suddenly fell silent. As he was turning back to face them, his posture had stiffened noticeably and the diplomat quickly pointed to the horizon behind the mob. "Look over there."

A Ministry worker frowned and asked, "What is it?"

"Well." Kakashi's serious demeanour shifted to delight. "...It's another water dragon!"

The mass of people spun around as one, tilting their heads upwards to see the mysterious 'water dragon'...

...Instead, all they bore witness to was a silver light teasing the tree tops.

"Oh my...?"

"What might that be?"

"They're shining lights. The sun rising, perhaps?"

"The sun rising from the west, me'dearie?"

"Hum, regardless, the lights are lovely."

"But not dragon in nature."

"Hem-"

"Ain't dragon – eh, more like 'em muggles call'd aurors bore-elle."

"'Aurors bore-elle'? Tim, you drunk again?"

"Hem hem."

"I may of 'ad acoupla sips there 'nd here 'nd eh-very-where."

"'Aurors bore-elle' sounds like English-French gone wrong."

A very loud snort followed the statement. "'Ours bores-el'? Wh'ch dimwit suggest'd tha' sh – hic – it?"

"Hem hem!"

"...You did Tim."

"I did? Did I? Oi, somebody sob'r me up, haaa – hic!"

"Enough!" Umbridge clapped her hands loudly. "Speculation like this won't bring us any closer to the answer."

A Ministry underling chirruped eagerly, "I agree ma'am. We have more serious matters to address."

The tall, over-muscled Auror by the name of MacKey interrupted lightly, deep bass voice rumbling, "Yea, matters like figurin' out where our ambassador went."

"Ambassador?" queried the perky assistant.

"Mister Hatake's gone."

And when the message sank in, everyone, once again, went into an uproar. They frantically looked back to where Kakashi was just standing and saw no one.

"Gone?!" Umbridge rounded on MacKey, flushing. "Where did he go? Do not forget that getting into excellent terms with the dratted magical Asian Community is our highest priority. As I am overseeing this project, MacKey, you better be ready to take the fall if so much as a single hair disappears off of Hatake's head! Understand?!"

MacKey wilted in the face of the shorter, pink-wearing woman, not daring to wipe the spittle off his cheek.

And as everyone panicked...

Kingsley Shacklebolt remained unmoved when the rest of his comrades threw up their arms in slack-jaw surprise.

Bewildered statements like "Where did he go?" and "The lights! The lights must've taken him captive!" were repeated loudly across the field of smoking tents.

Gazing at the fading silver illumination touched along the treetops, he pondered upon the merits of using an intricate illusionary spell in such a way. But he knew he would've been a terrible bodyguard if he didn't help Hatake out of his predicament; it was clear he had no desire to be around Umbridge any longer.

Besides, he owed Dumbledore this favour and it wouldn't be classy to watch the poor man grab at straws to evade Umbridge. He didn't want to witness the relations between the Eastern and British magical society crumble because of this altercation.

Though privately he wondered – what would have happened if he hadn't stepped in? Would Hatake have genuinely summoned a dragon as a distraction?

(The real inquiry was, could he really summon one or did Umbridge accuse him without base?)

There seemed to be many questions and mysteries surrounding the fellow. For instance another aspect of curiosity was the 'masks' he frequently exchanged around.

In terms of a metaphorical recount, one could feel like they were playing a simple game of Go Merfish with Hatake – no disguises and pure genuine conversation, albeit one-sided.

(One card for me. One card for me – I mean, you.)

In another quick turn of a Galleon, the stakes could be exceedingly precarious and interacting with Hatake would be like exchanging the game of Go Merfish for Dragon Poker. And Kingsley, he knew Dragon Poker well in terms of its associations with illegal activities. As a derivative of the stone-faced Centaur Poker, the game is considered as a dangerous alternative with consequence – fingers charred when the individual suffers a loss. To avoid second-degree burns, players of Dragon Poker must maintain multiple facades to throw off their opponents.

Much like what Hatake does.

Kingsley considered. Judging by the many poker faces, Hatake would probably be an excellent poker player. He wondered if he would fancy a game.

...He decided that he will ask in their next encounter.

A girlish voice interrupted his musings. "Hem, hem. Mr. Shacklebolt, you seem pleased."

"Madam Umbridge."

Faced against the upper Ministry official head-on, he could tell that she was not at all conflicted or worried as she appeared to be. She suggested candidly, "Perhaps you know where our charge is."

He remained indifferent. "I did not watch him-"

"But as an elite Auror for the Ministry of Magic, I would expect someone of your calibre to have a general idea unlike Mr. MacKey." Umbridge smiled primly. "You and I both know that it is certainly not proper to allow a diplomat run amuck unaccompanied."

He was not fooled by her. "I – as was everyone else – was surprised by the appearance of the second dragon and had a brief lapse of attention on Mr. Hatake. I simply didn't have time to observe his actions."

Umbridge appeared disappointed and sighed dramatically, "Shielding him? I expected as much. Your wand please."

Shacklebolt stared at her grimly. "You are loose with your suggestions tonight, Madam. I assure you that I didn't participate in whatever Mr. Hatake was planning." Umbridge seemed ready to verbally lash him but he continued, "However, if you so wish to sanction my intentions, my wand is ready for your inspection."

Without hesitation, Shacklebolt presented his wand and Umbridge took the opportunity to cast Prior Incantato – a charm that determined the previous spell casted from the wand. Sprouting from the end of Kingsley's wand were sparks of crimson red, a recognizable sign of the Stupefy spell.

Delores Umbridge remained unconvinced. "I see. So the wand isn't the culprit."

"Madam." He cut her off calmly as he pocketed his wand. "I believe the procession is waiting for your instruction. They are growing curious by the delay."

Umbridge nodded stiffly and turned away, ordering the rest of his fellow wizards efficiently. "We shall head to the Western field to regroup with the Minister."

And as the pink-wearing woman sauntered off, Kingsley inwardly heaved a sigh of relief. He was exceedingly glad that he had a better than average proficiency in wandless magic. Unquestionably, that skill just saved him from future troubles.

'Born' just a few moments ago, he was an extension of the real Hatake's ego. And right now, Hatake's ego was exasperated by the easily thwarted 'precautions' that Flitwick was so inclined to take. He sighed softly as he trailed deeper into the forest, following the hasty steps of the professor. They stopped at the center of the small forest and Flitwick sat down on the tree stump, trying to catch his breath.

Between breaths, he spoke, "This is an excellent place to disappear to. They won't find us here."

The clone circled the area all the while muttering, "...Didn't expect your lack of instincts."

"What was that?"

'Kakashi' regarded the smaller professor before pointing out simply, "This area of the forest is not shielded enough. The cover is too sparse."

"Oh, is that all?" Flitwick chuckled brightly. "That can be fixed, Mr. Hatake."

"With magic?"

The question was sarcastically rhetorical but it appeared Flitwick took no heed and explained, "Yes. A series of charm and transfiguration work. Here, watch."

From a hidden pocket, Flitwick withdrew his wand and waved the magical conduit accompanied by a nonverbal command. Almost instantly bushes enlarged and the branches swept lower, preventing any curious eyes from watching them.

The clone pondered and remarked, "An Engorgio spell and a transfiguration spell to change the position of the branches..."

Flitwick did a minor double-take. "You are quite knowledgeable for a squib."

"I may be a squib but that doesn't prevent me from studying magical theory."

"Tenacity. It is quite admirable, Mr. Hatake, that you have interest in an art that you are unfortunately unable to apply. It's known that squibs tend to reintegrate into muggle society after all..."

"I'll take those words about my stubbornness as a compliment, professor."

"But it is curious," Filius quirked a smile. "Why study it?"

"Because."

Flitwick waited. The clone stared steadily ahead and the professor quipped, "...You didn't answer my question."

"I know."

Flitwick chortled, "Mr. Hatake, you are a very frustrating character."

"Thank you. I try." The clone's tongue was looser than usual as he retorted glibly, "If you really want to know, I merely have an acquired interest in magic. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Which is why you always disappear into the school's library late at night?" Flitwick grinned, knowing that he managed to surprise the man with his attentive nature. "The walls have eyes and ears, Mr. Hatake, and from what I have been led to believe, you don't really make it your business to be secretive when you traverse to the library."

Hatake smirked confidently behind his mask. "There isn't a need to; I was given permission."

"Peace. I don't doubt your innocence." Filius then questioned carefully, "Don't mind my asking but what has interested you so that you would forgo sleep?"

The clone contemplated on the best way to handle the situation and went for a half-lie. "I like to read about charms and hexes."

"Charms work!" Excited, Flitwick sat up quickly. "Why Mr. Hatake, you should have approached me sooner!"

His modulations were calm. "...Approach you? About what?"

"I thought you knew...I'm Hogwarts' Charms Professor," boasted Flitwick, eager to please.

"I know that."

"Then..." Flitwick suggested, not in the least discouraged by his dismissal, "Well if you have any questions or maybe you need insight on a matter, I'll be more than happy to discuss charms theory with you."

"I see..." The clone scratched his head, wondering how he could use this to his benefit. "I'll keep your offer in mind, professor."

"Excellent!" Flitwick hopped onto his feet and asked, "Now what level are you at-?"

A loud yell carried over to their position. "Hey! Is anyone there?"

'Kakashi' and Filius stilled. The clone read the faint energy patterns approaching them and relaxed; in contrast, the professor listened carefully to every rustle and snap of twig, wand ready.

"Hello?" The boyish voice echoed through the foliage and soon, they could see light filtering through the leaves. "It's all clear now."

The clone could pick up on the heavy breathing and the metallic scent of human blood.

Flitwick commandeered leadership. "Who goes there?"

A head of fiery red peeked through the branches revealing, "...Weasley. Bill Weasley."

They moved through the forest speedily as a single unit.

"-Combing for stragglers in the forest to tell them that the danger has passed?"

"Yea."

Flitwick asked, "What about the muggle family?"

"Distraught but the mediwizards are treating them." Bill clutched at the cut on his forearm. "Too bad the dark wizards disapparated before we could apprehend them."

Once again, clone Kakashi found himself trailing after the short professor but this time there was also a tall gangly red head to follow. The long-haired Weasley, undoubtedly related to Charlie, was leading them back to the main campsites.

"So Mr. Hatake."

The clone grunted. "Yes?"

Kakashi could hear the mirth from the man dressed in the chic rock concert clothes. "Hope this event doesn't reflect terribly on your perception of English wizards."

He paused, feeling a set of eyes tracking their movement above in the trees. Smug and game for a little fun, the doppelganger drawled, "Not really. In a batch of apples, a portion will be subjectively good; the other portion will have a few mediocre apples with the rest as dumb."

There was a spike of chakra before it quickly dissipated. Switch.

Flitwick repeated, "Dumb apples?"

He nodded absolutely certain. "Dumb apples."

"That's crazy." Bill chortled, "I've never heard of dark wizards being compared to as dumb apples."

The clone murmured seriously, "I've met many dumb apples in my lifetime."

The red-head was alarmed. "You mean dark wizards?"

"No." The clone repeated patiently, "Dumb apples." No. Enemy shinobi.

Bill finally looked back and smirked, the skull earring echoing the expression, "Apples that are dumb? Charlie was right; you're definitely quite odd – no offense meant."

"None taken. There are worse names that can be added to my name." A pebble was hurtled full speed into the ground where the clone previously stepped on. Back tingling by the intent, 'Kakashi' waved a free hand discreetly over his shoulder and changed the subject, "How close is the campsite?"

Bill pointed ahead. "Should be near."

Flitwick interjected thoughtfully, "I never expected a midnight stroll in my agenda for the night..."

The clone quipped, "It's nice."

"Whether or not you're aware, Mr. Hatake, but we've been walking for nearly the entire day." Flitwick wiped a brow. "I'd much rather be in my bed right now than scampering through the forest."

Bill made a small noise, clutching his injured arm tighter. "I wholeheartedly agree with you Professor Flitwick."

The charms specialist took notice to the pale complexion and waved at the sluggishly bleeding cut. "Have you gotten that checked over by a mediwizard yet?"

Adamant in manner, he scoffed lightly, "This thing is just a scratch. Nothing to worry about."

Eye curving, the doppelganger suggested, "It's not cursed is it?"

"No." Bill announced almost proudly, "I'm a Curse Breaker for Gringotts, Mr. Hatake. I can tell when I'm in danger of a curse or hex."

"Hm." The clone was about to retort but stalled when he felt a nerve underneath his right eyebrow involuntarily twitch. Now, Kakashi was generally not an overtly superstitious person but gut feelings told him trouble was afoot.

This was justified by Flitwick's gasp of surprise. Above them a shot of vivid light was imprinted onto the sky and tendrils of emerald green formed a pattern, revealing a skull with a twisting snake-like tongue.

"...The mark of the Dark Lord."

Having escaped the forest and now passing through the populated western field, Bill was unsurprised when they crossed paths with Ministry workers. He waved politely. "Good evening."

However, no one took heed to his greeting. Most were busy staring at the diplomat from Asia. Bill was suddenly reminded of Charlie's description of Hatake, 'a strange and non-talkative extrovert who has a backwards Percy-like Ministry-thing'.

The male Ministry worker that approached closer than the rest appeared flustered. "Mi-Mister Hatake sir! You...You..."

Definitely backwards Percy-like Ministry-thing.

"Hem hem."

The Kakashi-clone repressed his annoyance and greeted heartily, "Miss Umberridger."

"What are you doing here with Professor Flitwick and another...Weasley?" Umbridge then murmured in a quiet undertone, words spoken so softly that even the clone had to concentrate to eavesdrop, "There really is a whole burrow of you lot..."

The red-head took a step forward. "My name is Bill Weasley, Madam."

"And what happened was that Mr. Hatake and I took cover in the forest during the attack and left when the all clear signal was given by Mr. Weasley. Just as we were about to exit the forest, we spotted the dark mark and decided to move to the western field," supplied Flitwick.

Muttered with disdain, a Ministry official rebutted, "Impossible."

"Hm?" 'Kakashi' mocked, pointing skyward, "Im-poss-able? Dark mark is over there and we all-ready at west field."

"No, not that." Auror Hartley's shrewd gaze didn't intimidate Bill or Flitwick and certainly didn't faze the doppelganger. "We saw Mr. Hatake earlier and his English..."

The Kakashi-clone inwardly cursed, realizing that his real self might have had his identity compromised. "To be so careless...Now how to deal with this...?"

But Flitwick came to his rescue. "You must have seen him with me. Rest assured that he was under my protection during the dark wizard fiasco."

"Curious." Umbridge leered, "There is no need to establish an alibi, Mr. Hatake. You aren't in trouble."

"Eh? But I was with sir during terror-eye-zing." The diplomat shrugged, "Maybe heat caused mee-ra-gee and you see me."

"But-"

"That's enough, Hartley." Umbridge then smiled sweetly at the black-haired foreigner. "But I must ask, is your lowered proficiency in English due to another 'frog attack'?"

The Kakashi-clone suggested, "Are you say I lie-ing?"

"No, not at all." Umbridge tried again. "But I hope you don't feel like you need to hide from us, the British Ministry, by using subpar English."

"Okay." The clone sighed, "You do not bell-eve me. I am no lie-ing."

"Who doesn't believe who, now?"

Located behind the group, a new voice joined the conversation and the sea of Ministry workers parted almost immediately when they realized who it was.

'Kakashi' brightened upon seeing the stouter man. "You must be Minister Corn-elle-us F'dudge!" The doppelganger grinned mischievously, "My name is Kakashi Hatake, Asian dip-o-mat. Miss Umberridger ack-cuse that I lie."

Minister Fudge appeared taken aback. Umbridge paled.

Due to the Ministry fiasco, their group only attained three hours of sleep before rousing. In the late morning light, the nightmarish scene seemed distant in memory but the charred remains of tents were stark, jarring reminders of what came to pass at the end of the Quidditch World Cup.

Kakashi was standing outside their Prussian blue tent, waiting on the other professors. Kingsley came to stand beside him.

"Good morning, Mr. Shacklebolt."

"Morning." The taller, stockier man observed, "With the Ministry increasing security, it appears I'm accompanying you to Hogwarts."

"How nice of Minister Fudge." Hatake tugged at his white scarf, back in his wizard gear. "I'll take his gesture as one of goodwill."

Shacklebolt nodded. They stood in companionable silence until the Auror questioned, "Last night. How did you manage?"

"Manage what?"

"The distraction at the well."

Kakashi considered over the situation. Kingsley must be referring to the 'dragon sound' that spooked the Ministry workers. In actuality, the 'dragon sound' was a complex sound-based jutsu that combined rudimentary physics – fluctuating amplitude, increasing wavelength, and lowering the frequency of the sound waves. Perhaps he did owe his guard dog an answer since he unpredictably used magic to help him with the distraction (the pseudo mark of a dragon shimmering in the sky)...

But that would be too much trouble. He lied, "I wasn't at the well last night, Mr. Shacklebolt. Did the mirage fool you too?"

"I see." The Auror gave him a stiff look, facing the fact that he wasn't about to receive a straight answer anytime soon. "Very well then."

"Hrn."

"Oh, and Mr. Hatake?"

Kakashi asked patiently, "What is it?"

"I look forward to a game of poker with you."

"Poker hm?" The shinobi pocketed his hands and moved away from the tent; not a moment sooner, the three professors exited.

Madam Hooch glanced at the wreckage and focused on the petite man beside her. "Filius, where are we heading to now?"

"We're using a portkey to reach the Leaky Cauldron in London. There should be transport ready to take us to King's Cross train station."

"...Not a portkey directly to Hogsmede?"

"No, Mr. Hatake. We initially planned a surprise sightseeing around magical London but in light of last night's incident, we thought it best to postpone the tour and return to Hogwarts," explained Flitwick.

Sinistra fixed her hair, motions lacking energy. "Thank goodness. I need my sleep."

By the time they boarded the Hogwarts Express, it was nearing mid-afternoon. The professors took an empty compartment at one side of the train while Kakashi slipped into another. Shacklebolt, much to the consternation of the shinobi, tailed him and bunkered down in the booth next to his.

Taking time to stare out the window at the blurred scenery, he eventually took out the wizard's chess Dumbledore let him borrow to pass the time...

(One week left...)

With one more week until the students arrive, Hogwarts was in a flurry of activity. From what he could tell, most professors were double-checking their tried and successful lesson plans. For the Head of Houses, both McGonagall and Flitwick were immersed in texts while Sprout spent more time than not within her greenhouses. Snape on the other hand was usually not in the castle so Kakashi didn't have many interactions with the man.

It was probably for the best.

Those whose occupation didn't involve teaching students were seen pacing their work area in agitation. Madam Pomfrey was quite prone to spontaneously smooth over nonexistent wrinkles from the cot blankets and recheck her medical cabinets. At the library Madam Pince managed to reorganize and shelve her books on dangerous herbology – thrice. Filch and his cat Mrs. Norris guarded the hallways of Hogwarts with tenacity, ensuring that nothing was out of place.

For Kakashi, the last week until the students arrived was relatively normal. Much to the resentment of his beleaguered colleagues, he spent most of his time outside reading, basking in the last summer rays. Often, they would be language manuals. Because of the Triwizard Tournament, he was forced to learn simple Bulgarian and French words such as 'zdravei', 'bonjour', 'zbogom', and 'au revoir'.

It was certainly a shame when that normalcy was sent careening out the window by...

Tsunade, stroking Awaji with an absent hand, laughed with a shout. "Ha! Damn Hatake-brat. He's already outdone my expectations."

There was a gentle knock at the door and Shizune stuck her head through the entrance, inquiring, "Tsunada-sama...Is everything alright?"

"Of course." The Lady Hokage leaned into her chair, still smirking. "Why wouldn't everything be alright, Shizune?"

"Ah...There was laughter at odd intervals." The medic-in-training then scrutinized her superior, trying to see if anything was out of place.

"At ease." The curvaceous blonde waved a free hand. "I was reading a mission report."

Suspicious, Shizune repeated, "A mission report?"

"Yes. In fact, I think it's about time I sent something back," remarked the Godaime as she placed a fresh sheaf of paper on the desk with a brush in hand poised to write. "Shizune, go to the aviary and fetch some food for our feathered friend."

The hawk by Tsunade's hand cooed and the younger woman nodded obediently, leaving the room in haste.

Turning her attention back to the blank piece of paper, the Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves grinned wickedly. "Let's see how well he'll handle this C-ranked mission..."

(Two nights prior to the welcome feast)

"...Annoying hen. You know, you're sitting on my pillow." Pakkun was resting on his haunches by the bed, glaring at the 'nuisance'.

Blinking unabashedly, Awaji stared down her beak at Pakkun while perched upon her new throne – Kakashi's pillow to be exact.

"Don't get all high and mighty on me."

Awaji bobbed her head and flapped her wings impressively, taunting the pug.

Growling, Pakkun used teeth to grab the cushion by the fireplace and tossed it at the bird. The hawk immediately took to the air to avoid the flying projectile, cawing shrilly.

"Success." The pug hopped back onto his territory, eyeing the affronted bird. "Yea. So what are you going to do about it?"

If Awaji could truly speak, she would have said something along the lines of 'revenge'.

"Did I miss the battle?"

Coughing up a stray pillow feather, Pakkun growled by the doorway, "No."

Kakashi casually strolled into his room while juggling an armful of books which were promptly deposited onto the desk. Visibly unimpressed, he pointed out monotone, "You had a pillow fight with my messenger bird."

The hawk, which had relocated onto the top of the dresser, fluffed her feathers with affront, cooing angrily.

Pakkun was gruff. "Her fault." The pug jumped onto the bed, scattering feathers.

Batting away the fluff, Kakashi raised an arm towards the hawk and the bird obediently flew to him. "Looks like Awaji returned from Konoha with a scroll."

Observing Awaji with biased eyes, Pakkun huffed and ignored the avian. "The Lady Hokage? What's it say?"

Diligent fingers removed the missive and unrolled the paper. Kakashi examined the message, expression unreadable.

"Is it bad?"

"Not really." But Kakashi was clearly annoyed.

Pakkun perked up. "What did you get?"

"A mission. C-rank."

"Huh, a C-ranked mission should be easy then."

Kakashi tossed the scroll onto the bed without watching where it landed. "Read."

And so Pakkun nosed the scroll and flipped it over. Listening to his master's command, he read about two lines before barking out loud, unable to contain his laughter.

"Oh this is going to be good."

(Students arriving; professors waiting)

"Yo."

Dumbledore nodded. Some of the professors, like Snape and Bathsheda Babbling, ignored him stoutly. More welcoming was Flitwick who waved from his end of the table before continuing his conversation with Professor Sprout. Madam Pomfrey, Pince, and Hooch were likewise occupied.

"Mr. Hatake, how nice of you to join us for the welcome feast." Professor Vector took a careful sip from her goblet and added, "Not staying in your room tonight?"

Kakashi, in an amber-hued scarf tonight, seated himself between Professors Vector and Sinistra. "I couldn't possibly decline the Headmaster's invitation."

"I see." Vector continued to drink, their conversation short-lived.

Nonchalant to the snub, the foreigner fished out a thick book from his pocket titled 'A Guide to Medieval Sorcery' and thumbed to the desired page. His nose safely buried deep behind the bindings, he took time to glance discreetly at the four empty tables situated below their dais, noticing the vibrant colour schemes that matched the Hogwarts' coat of arms. Interesting and a tad out of place was the chair and raggedy old wizard's hat placed in front of Professor Dumbledore's podium.

After a drawn out silence, it was Sinistra who murmured, "Hm. The stars are hidden behind a curtain tonight." With a faraway look in her eyes, the Astronomy professor was staring at the enchanted ceiling fixedly. "A lightning storm is lingering in the clouds."

Thunder rolled deep like the sound of a rain drum. The shinobi seemed pleased by nature's articulation and glanced at the illusion of the sky briefly.

Vector commented, "With the bad weather, crossing the Great Lake will be turbulent for the First Years."

The two professors weren't certain, but they could feel a change in Hatake's unassuming presence. Indeed Kakashi, a hint of drollness in his thoughts, was in fact agreeing with Vector's statement.

Sinistra rested a hand on the table, thrumming a soft tune. "Turbulent, yes, but their experience will be much darker and enchanting."

"I'd rather refer to it as dreary and wet," rebuked Vector who couldn't appreciate Aurora's romanticism. "At least the returning students would be relatively dry. In such a stuffy room, the potent smell of wet clothes will be sickening."

"You should've sat beside Poppy." Sinistra murmured, "A bit late of a suggestion though. The students should be trickling through those doors soon..."

...A non-rhythmically pounding, a dissonance to the timed thunder and Sinistra's table beat, resounded through the walls. He could perceive the chatter drifting softly into his ear, identifying mixed emotions wrought forth by the 'home-coming' behind their words. The uncontrolled blend of chakra and magic pulsed...

Kakashi flipped a page and asserted, "I can hear them."

No sooner did those words leave his lips did the doors to the Great Hall creak open.

TBC

Before there are misunderstandings! ToushirouLover pointed out in her review (thank you :D) that there is a fanart picture of a 'Hogwarts Kakashi'. That picture was done by charredfeathers (who is very lovely and awesome), not me. If you want to check it out, I have a link up on my profile page.

A/N: If you recognized 'dumb apples' or 'dumbapples', good job (I'm in another FF7 binge and yah. Like really? Dumbapples?). And if I got the Bulgarian wrong, please tell me.

Below is an excerpt of a scene from the next chapter. The fun definitely starts...

Tidbit:

"Bloody hell! Is that our next Defence Against the Dark Arts professor?"

The group of Gryffindor students observed the man with the midnight-dark hair who wore an amber-coloured scarf that covered half his face.

"He looks almost..." Ginny paused as she fished for words. "...Normal."

... ... ...

"The new professor looks exotic," muttered Pansy Parkinson, nose wrinkled.

A male Slytherin student a few seats down hollered, "Like an exotic fruit!"

A/N cont.: That's right. Hello students, can you feel that on-coming headache yet :)?

(Oh Kakashi, our precious exotic fruit. He's such a pineapple.)

~Phoenyxx