A Day with the Nindogs

Scene Nine and Three-Quarters: What Goes Around Comes Around Every Year

(About Two Months Ago…)

"What do you think of this place, Pakkun?"

The pug looked up at his master and summed it up with one word. "Strange."

"Oh?"

Gruffly he explained, "We've been on a lot of missions together, Kakashi, but this has to take the cake as the strangest yet."

"Hmm." The ninja was admittedly a bit unsettled by the constant sudden movements seen at the periphery of his vision. "Moving people in pictures are new."

"You don't say," snorted the dog. "I just don't like these hallways. There's not enough room to move around. If this route didn't smell so good, I'd be walking away from here."

The shinobi sniffed the air. "I think we're closing in."

Pakkun grunted, "Just down those stairs…"

The two of them continued along until they stopped at a large, wall-length portrait depicting a bowl of fruit.

"So the room is hidden behind this picture," murmured Kakashi, staring the oil portrait up and down. In his hand, he twirled a kunai, debating on whether or not to forcefully remove it off the wall.

Would that be considered as damaging school property?

Pakkun growled at his heels impatiently, "You want me to try and yank it off the wall, boss?"

"I'd rather not deal with a squished pug."

The canine bristled indignantly. "I'll have you know that I'm faster than-!"

"-I know." Letting his pug grumble, Kakashi tilted his head. "Now let's see…"

Feeling the edges of the portrait, the ninja decided to use strength to try and remove the picture. He carefully wedged the weapon into the small gap between the wall and portrait and applied brunt force.

The picture creaked gloomily.

He stopped. "Hmm…"

"Maybe more force?" suggested Pakkun.

A loud crack erupted from behind them.

("Sir! Dobby…Dobby does not think that is a good idea!")

Alert, ninja reflexes kicked in and Kakashi almost allowed the kunai in his hand loose. However, he managed to hold fast at the last moment, recalling that he was at school again – which was a laugh, considering how he avoided them for near twenty-three years.

(Bad childhood memories, he would say with a wistful smile.)

Kakashi paused. Pakkun stared.

("Sirs?")

The almost humanoid creature addressing them was undersized and barely reached past his knee. He was clothed in a rather fetching clean white toga matched with a pair of bizarre patchwork socks on his feet. On one of his bat-like ears dangled a plum coloured ladies glove. Aside from the outlandish taste in clothing, the creature did not resemble anything they have seen before. He had a long pointed nose and large bulbous eyes with a very skinny, angular, underfed frame.

Pakkun eyed the house elf, a tad mystified. "I think a molding prune is talking to us boss."

Kakashi ignored his rude pug. ("Not a good idea? What do you suggest then?")

Dobby quivered, eyes trained on the sharp-looking triangle knife. A long drawn out silence followed.

The ninja, noticing the reaction, casually pocketed his kunai. He then eye-smiled. ("Well?")

("You're asking Dobby, sir?") squeaked Dobby, approaching bit by bit now that the knife disappeared.

("Yes, I am asking Dob – you.")

("Dobby is very flattered sirs!") Slowly, the house elf gave them a very eager-to-please grin. ("Dobby suggests that you tickle the pear, sir.")

("Tickle the pear…?")

And the rest (as humans liked to say) were history.

Kakashi and his pack managed to get their own meals at the kitchens now, a fact that Headmaster Dumbledore was never terribly pleased about. He believed that it was essential for the staff members to share meals at the table so as to promote staff unity. Nonetheless, he magnanimously allowed them not to eat with the others, if only to prevent the bullying.

From which party, he wouldn't say. Dumbledore only smiled pleasantly enough, and Pakkun, ever loyal, almost told him to 'Stuff it. I get it. Kakashi's really not that bad you know'.

It was almost like the Headmaster could read his mind when he said, "I know, Pakkun. Just try not to harass the house elves…"

("Sorry sirs but Dobby don't understand what you means,") said Dobby nervously, wringing the tea towel in his hands over and over again.

Pakkun sighed and barked out for the umpteenth time against the clueless face. "Cake! Cake! Cake you walking, batty prune!"

Dobby looked ready to burst into tears. ("Sirs, Dobby don't understand!")

"What should we do now?" asked Uhei. "We need someone to translate the word 'cake' for us."

"We can't ask Kakashi," said Akino, glasses flashing. "That would defeat the purpose."

"Can't he eat steak or meatballs? Steak is good. Very good," whined Shiba.

Dobby perked up, hearing the familiar words. ("Steak? Meatballs? Dobby can make!")

("No!") That was another word Pakkun learned in the past hour. ("No!")

("But sirs…")

"Stop giving him ideas Shiba," growled the pug. "We want cake! Dobby. Cake. Cake. Cake!"

Dobby's eyes widened dramatically. ("Dobby…Dobby is bad. Bad Dobby! Not understanding sirs.") The poor house elf nearly rammed his head against the burning hot oven if not for Bull tugging at his tiny fitted toga. He pulled the house elf away from the kitchen appliance, preventing further self-harm.

("Nooo-!")

Eying the distraught house elf, Pakkun sighed again, "We need a plan."

The dogs thought for a moment. Uhei brightened, "We can draw a picture of a cake."

Akino agreed. "That's a good idea."

"Yes, yes, yes," grinned Shiba.

"But who…?" asked Uhei.

A loud snore interrupted their conversation. All eyes turned and found Bisuke, sleeping by the fireplace…

"Why am I doing this again?" drawled Bisuke, paws dabbed with black ink.

"Out of all of us, you're the best at drawing," said Akino, purposefully flattering.

Uhei reasoned further, "And this is for Kakashi."

Bisuke blinked blearily. "Fine."

The small sleepy looking dog struggled with the paper, brush, and ink for awhile before completing what he and the others deemed as a satisfactory drawing of a cake.

Now. To give it to Dobby.

The house elf turned the picture this way and that, perplexed.

("Dobby sees a…spaghetti?") Pointing at the nonsensical squiggles on the paper, Dobby asked, ("Sirs want spaghetti?")

The dogs shook their heads, sighing. They knew what spaghetti was, as it goes quite well with meatballs, but that wasn't what they were asking for.

"If you'd only draw neater, Bisuke," grumbled Pakkun.

"Yea, yea, I told you to do that line over on the other side of the paper!" added Shiba, ruffling the crest on his forehead in aggravation.

Fur speckled with black ink, Bisuke said lowly, "Don't look at me like that. I don't have thumbs."

"It's okay. We all don't have thumbs," soothed Uhei, ever the peacemaker. "We know you did the best that you could."

Pakkun hung his head, groaning.

"What now?" asked Shiba.

"New plan." Akino grumbled. "Think."

There was a long silence and then…

"Of course!" yelped Pakkun. "We could ask the client-"

A long wail interrupted him. "-PPPaaaaaaakkuuuuuuuun!"

"Oh no."

Their hyperactive pack brother tumbled into the kitchen. Disoriented, the pup shook his fur and called out again, "Pakkun!"

"Guruko, shut up," growled Pakkun as he stalked towards the new arrival. "What are you doing back three hours early?"

"Me and Urushi can only play tag with boss-man for so long! And those spiders! Those spiders in the forest got really angry at us again and chased us out of the forest!"

Pakkun felt a dawning horror start from the pit of his stomach. "Guruko. Where's Kakashi now?"

"I dunno!" said Guruko, squinting his eyes in thought. "I think he's with Urushi!"

"This isn't good," observed Uhei.

"Of course it isn't good!" said Shiba apprehensively.

"Pakkun! All that running made me hungry! When's the cake done?"

"There is no cake!" Pakkun prowled towards Guruko, circling the pup. "That's because those cooking prunes don't know what cake is – and you! You came back too early without giving us enough time to bake one anyway-!"

"Hey! Hey! Pakkun!" whined Guruko when Pakkun snapped at his nape.

The other dogs watched as they started a tussle in the kitchen, bumping into the fixtures and causing food to fall onto the ground.

"We should stop them," said Bisuke.

"What. You volunteering?" asked Akino.

"No." Getting comfortable, Bisuke rested against a large bag of flour. "I said we should."

Pakkun and Guruko continued to roll around, trying to force the other to whimper a 'mercy'. However, the fight escalated when they bumped into ever inconsolable Winky, causing her butterbeer to spill all over the table. Winky sobbed even harder, wailing, ("Whhhhhhyyyyy-hic?")

All the house elves stopped their work to stare.

("Winky!") Dobby was wringing his tea towel again. ("Sirs! Might sirs please not fight?")

"I agree with little Dobby here. This is quite the mess already."

The dogs felt a flash of horror. In contrast, the house elves were relieved and went about cooking again.

Uhei sat up at attention. "Kakashi." Beside Kakashi was Urushi and he was shaking with silent laughter.

Kakashi surveyed the disaster zone. He almost walked out of the kitchen if not for the sense of duty and responsibility tying him to his nindogs. Sighing, he asked, "What are you guys doing here?"

"Oh nothing."

"Yea, nothing! Right, guys?"

"Nothing boss."

"Nothing!"

"Boss-man, I'm hungry!"

"Guruko…" The jounin almost rolled his eye.

"Yeah shut up, Guruko," snarled Pakkun meanly.

"Now, now, Pakkun," chided Kakashi. He then said seriously, "All of you, at attention."

Hackles prickling, the dogs sat up straighter.

Kakashi walked towards his summons, taking in the surroundings. "It looks like a stray wind jutsu tore through the kitchen." With a foot, he tapped a rolling can to a stop.

"So. What happened?"

Pack solidarity be damned. The dogs pointed at Pakkun and Guruko, shuffling backwards.

"Aww…It's not my fault," whined Guruko. "Pakkun started it!"

"Shut up," growled Pakkun lowly.

Kakashi was having none of that. "Explain, Pakkun."

"Uhh…" Nervous, the pug stared up at his summon master, cursing at his tall, almost intimidating height. Pakkun then looked around quickly, and found a half squished cupcake next to the leg of a nearby chair. He hastily bounded forwards and grabbed the cupcake, offering it to Kakashi.

The ninja took the inedible baked good suspiciously. "What…?"

Pakkun smiled toothily and apologetically offered, "…Happy Birthday boss?"

Kakashi looked from the hopeful expressions to the cupcake in his hand as it dribbled sticky pink icing onto his glove.

Bisuke stooped his tiny shoulders and sighed, "We wanted to bake a cake but Dobby didn't understand."

"Yeah!"

"What Bisuke said."

Kakashi spoke gruffly, "I don't like cake."

"See! I knew we shoulda said steak!" exclaimed Shiba.

"No steak!" snapped Pakkun. "Human birthdays have cake!"

"You guys are impossible." Shaking his head, Kakashi sighed and relented, "…I'll go apologize to Headmaster Dumbledore for this mess."

"Thanks boss," smiled Uhei.

Kakashi rubbed the back of head. "Stay out of trouble."

"Got it boss!"

Turning around, their summon master made his way towards the exit and their acute hearing could pick up his muttering. "…I swear my hair is turning greyer every year because of you lot…"

Kakashi then exited the kitchen, pink quasi-cupcake still in hand.

Once he was out of ear shot Pakkun grinned at his pack members. "It worked!"

The dogs quivered with shared joy. "I think he liked it!"

"But that was too close for comfort." Pakkun smirked, "Let's plan ahead next time. What's the next holiday?"

Guruko yipped, "Wizard Hollow-weenie!"

"Great! Hollow-weenie's great."

"Ya."

"What Urushi said."

"Wait." Uhei paused. "What's Hollow-weenie? Is it the one with flying steaks?"

"Flying steaks? I like this holiday already…" drooled Shiba.

Scene End

A/N: Yes, this isn't the actual chapter. I'll post that when I finish writing it.