Chapter 12: Talking it Out

Emma closed her eyes and rubbed them with her left hand, her elbow resting on her desk. To say that the past few days had been stressful were huge understatements. Ever since her trip to New York Emma had felt like there wasn't time to breathe. It had been one surprise after another and no time to let it really sink in.

There was a knock on door in front of her. She looked up to see her parents standing there. Though Emma had known her parents followed her to the office and the three of them had worked well on into the afternoon with no talk of her private life, she had been so distracted within her own mind to acknowledge anything other than some piled up paper work which sat untouched despite trying to work on it. Her mind just wasn't into anything now that she finally had a break to think.

"You okay," David asked.

"Yeah I'm fine," Emma replied.

"No you're not," said Mary Margaret taking a seat in front of Emma. David did the same. "You've been staring at that pile for the past few hours. You know we're always here for you Emma."

Emma shook her head, "I know and I appreciate that, I really do. I just don't really know where to start with all of this. How exactly do you tell your parents how much of a screw up you were? I've told you that back then I wasn't parent material but I wasn't exactly daughter material either."

"Emma," said Mary Margaret.

"No it's true," Emma said not finding fault in herself, not exactly anyways.

Over time she had come to accept what her life had been.

Now though, since she had found her parents, she had always gone the 'what if' path. It was ridiculous and pointless but what adopted kid could stop feelings like that, it wasn't that easy especially when she thought she had buried those notions a long time ago. Now she saw that they had never been buried, they had only been placed to the side.

Emma looked down at some papers trying to distract herself. "But this isn't about my crappy childhood," she said as she looked up, "this is about Neal isn't it?"

"In part," said David, "but this is also about you. Clearly stuff happened in your past. And while your mother and I respect that you can take care of yourself we can also see the pain you're in. We just want to be there for you Emma, if you'll let us."

Emma looked at both her parents, sensing the sincerity in David's words. She took a deep breath, "What do you want to know?"

"How did you and Neal meet," Mary Margaret asked.

Emma bit her lip, "I was seventeen at the time when I kind of stole his car. The car wasn't really his. He had stolen it prior to me stealing it. He was living in it at the time and things sort of just took off from there."

Emma stood up and walked around her desk, leaning her back against the doorway. Her office was starting to feel too stuffy.

"Eventually his own past caught up with him and I willingly offered to help him out. That's when things went south. I got caught stealing watches that Neal had stolen in the first place." She crossed her arms. "Neal was gone. I got sentenced to eleven months, time that should've been his. Two months in I found out I was pregnant with Henry. I never saw Neal again until a few days ago."

Mary Margaret looked at David and then back at her daughter, "Did he tell you why he turned you in?"

Emma leaned her head back. She wasn't sure if she wanted to be angry or cry, maybe both.

"Yeah I found out. I'm not sure I wanted to know, much like I didn't want to know he was Gold's son. Neal said that the reason he turned me in was to help get me home. August found him, told him everything. Neal believes that the two of us being together would've stopped me from breaking the curse." She turned and looked at Mary Margaret, "You asked if I thought about tracking him down. Truth is I did. I spent two years in Tallahassee just hoping he would be there but he wasn't."

"Why Tallahassee," Mary Margaret asked.

Emma gave her mother a sad look for a second before diverting her eyes elsewhere, "That's where we had planned to start our life together. We hadn't talked about kids or anything like that but we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We had found a map inside this hotel room that we snuck into. Close your eyes and point," Emma said repeating Neal's exact words. "When I opened my eyes my finger was pointing on Tallahassee."

Emma shrugged trying to rid herself of the memory. She scolded herself for letting herself get too deep into it, too lost. She was supposed to be angry at Neal. It felt like it was too soon to forgive him. She kept telling herself that the only reason she was tolerating him now was because of Henry.

Mary Margaret stood up and smiled at Emma. "You still love him don't you?"

Emma quickly turned and looked at Mary Margaret caught off guard by her question.

"What kind of question is that?" Emma asked.

"An honest one," said Mary Margaret.

"And I know that look," David added, "It's the same look I've seen on your mother's face."

Emma cringed not really wanting to know about her parents' love life. She walked out of the office needing some space.

"Please, I do not love Neal." Emma looked down, "I can't."

"Why not," said Mary Margaret.

Emma turned to look at her parents grateful that she was standing several feet away. "Do you really want me to go through the list of reasons?"

"It might help," her mother told her.

"Fine," Emma said hating herself for conceding. Mary Margaret always had a way to get some form of truth out of her even before the curse had been broken. "First off I'm still angry at what he did to me."

"Even though it was to save us," said David.

Guilt trip.

"I didn't mean…I just… I think that if all of this is fate and destiny and pre-planned or whatever then I would've found a way regardless. Neal didn't have to send me to jail so I could get my life straight. Second: in all the time we spent together not once did he trust me enough to tell me the truth about himself. Third: It's been eleven years. After I left Tallahassee I gave up on him completely."

Mary Margaret slightly smiled at her daughter, "But he's here now isn't he?"

"Which leads me to my final point," said Emma. "We've both moved on. He's engaged."

David took a step closer to Emma, "That didn't stop me or your mother. I was engaged to Katherine but Mary Margaret and I did find our way."

Emma shook her head, "This isn't the enchanted forest. Love isn't easy for some of us the way it is in your world."

"Maybe not in this world," said David, "but you're not from here and neither is he. Maybe the two of you are meant for each other."

Mary Margaret also took a step forward closer to Emma. "That love you two shared, it was powerful enough to create a child when you didn't expect it."

Emma crossed her arms and looked away. "I got knocked up, it happens, doesn't mean anything."

"Now I know you don't believe that. Henry's one of the best things to happen to you. And I think the reason this is so hard for you is because you're not being honest with how you really feel. If it was easy you wouldn't be struggling like you are now."

"How I feel about Neal doesn't matter."

"Why not?"

Emma looked behind her parents to see Neal standing near her office. Her parents had turned to look at him.

"How long have you been standing there," Emma asked him, her rage starting to boil beneath the surface.

"Long enough to hear the tail end of your dad's conversation," said Neal.

Emma placed her hands on her hips, "Great."

"Well are we going to talk about this," Neal asked.

"No," Emma replied, "I'm going to get some air," she said as she headed straight for her office and grabbed her jacket and keys. "Henry should be out of school by now."

"He's home actually," said Neal. Emma turned to look at him. "I picked him up from the school bus and walked him."

"You didn't have to do that," said Emma.

Neal smiled, "That's why I'm here."

"I'm sure he appreciates that."

"Do you?"

"Goodbye Neal."

Emma made a straight away for her office door.

"I'll see you in a few hours for dinner," Neal called out.

Emma froze and turned to look at him. "Wait what?"

"Henry invited me over, it being my first night here in town and everything."

"Of course he did," Emma replied and slightly annoyed.

"This isn't going to be a problem is it?" Neal asked.

"Actually," said Emma but before she could get a word in Mary Margaret stepped forward.

"It's no problem at all," she said to Neal. "We haven't officially met, I'm Mary Margaret. You've all ready met my husband David."

Neal shook both their hands, "That's one meeting I won't be forgetting any time soon. You know how to make an impression much like your daughter."

"You can drop the act Neal," said Emma.

"What act," Neal said to her. "You did make an impression on me when we first met."

"Why do you even care," Emma asked her tone turning sour. "It's not like those memories mean anything anymore." She shook her head. "I really need that walk," she said leaving the room.