Chapter 9. Confessions hurt

"There is no other way to say it, Kushima." Itachi finished his confession.

She looked at him with a mixed expression of pain, disgust and utter sorrow.

"Then the only option is that he leaves" she said.

Itachi sighed deeply and looked away.

"Yes. It is. "

"How long have you felt that way for him, Itachi? How long have you tortured him with your sick obsession? Poor boy". She covered her face with her hands, still trying to process what her husband had just said.

Itachi rubbed his eyes tiredly. He felt bitter. One thing is to realize you've been in love with your little brother since he has reached puberty and the other when someone else learns that you have had such sick preferences, considering that he is a minor, 17,you both are of the same gender and on top of that blood related. Add to the fact that this 'someone else' is your pregnant wife and you will get the right picture.

"You are a monster, Itachi. I can't imagine how you can live with yourself. How can I continue living with you under the same roof and raise my child here? I think you should be glad if I don't go and report about it to anybody higher up, you know. If you promise you will let him be, it will not leave these walls. But only if you promise you will never- ever try anything on him again. Do you understand me, Itachi? Promise it."

So that's the price for it. Sasuke didn't deserve to pay it. He deserved a chance for normal life. Itachi thought of how easy it is to promise what you can't keep, but he would have to keep this promise as if his life depended on it. No, Sasuke's life depended on it.

"I promise" Itachi said firmly. And he meant every bit of it.

" And don't you think I do it for your sake, Itachi. Poor Sasuke-kun. And I treated him so badly. No wonder he was always so locked in himself if there was a constant pressure and molest from you. How are you not disgusted with yourself, huh?"

"I am, Kushima. And thank you for doing this." Itachi answered and tried to take his wife's hands into his, but she pulled them away directly.

"Don't you dare touching me, Itachi. Don't you ever dare touching me" she got up from her knees and stormed out of the room.

Itachi was left all alone. Was it worth it? He had lost Sasuke, now most probably for good, his wife - he had fallen in her eyes completely and evidently he would be the one to pay for this sooner or later anyway, and himself- how would he bare to live now this way? Itachi didn't know, he didn't want to think about it now.

Sasuke. Itachi thought of how cruel it was that it had to be his own brother that he had fallen in love with. On the other hand, wasn't it exactly that brotherly bond since their childhood that made them so close and special for each other?

Itachi embraced his knees and pressed his forehead to them. The world was shuttering to bits, his world, their world.

"I'm leaving, Itachi." he heard Sasukes' voice in the doors.

Itachi didn't move or answer, just held his breath in. He couldn't even turn around to look at him now.

"Goodbye, Itachi." Said Sasuke, hoping for some response and feeling an urge to run up to him and hold him tight. His heart was screaming and beating so painfully that he would do anything, absolutely anything -just not to see Itachi like that, all crouched up and broken.

"It's to the best, dear", Kushima clapped Sasuke over his shoulder, turned him around and rested his head on her chest, stroking his hair as if he were a precious child of hers.

Sasuke felt strange and uncomfortable at this sudden emotional outburst from her. Wasn't she supposed to be like disgusted and pissed at them both? Well, there was no real point of dwelling on that now, was it?

He parted from Kushima, cast last glance at the figure of his older brother sitting on the floor, picked up his bag and left the house.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

First things first, thought Sasuke when he followed Ki and Ayano out of his new apartment and locked the door after them. Then he returned to his single tiny room.

Sasuke threw himself on the bed fully dressed and stared at the ceiling, with hands under his head. Shit, it did feel different in comparison with the Uchiha's mansion.

This place was small, like really small- one small bed, a small writing desk, a not-so-small wardrobe full of stuff that didn't belong to him, a couple of shelves with books covered with considerably fat layer of dust over them, and an amount of plants. One could say, not a small amount of them. Sasuke made a mental note to buy a barrel or a hosepipe to water them all in one go. He chuckled.

But again. First things first. What were those first things? He forgot. The only thought in his head was - Itachi. He didn't even get to say goodbye to him properly. Would he be able to see him one day soon or is it just going to cause more trouble for them both? What was it Kushima said to him in the doors?

"Sasuke, dear, it's better if you don't visit for some time. Just forget about him for now and start a new life. I'm sure you'll be able to see the best out of this situation and soon you will meet really wonderful people. Not everybody is like Itachi. "

No, that was the thing. There was nobody like Itachi. Had never been and would never be. And why did he feel so bitter now. Did he doubt for a second, that Itachi loved him? No, he didn't. In all those years as brothers, and the months as lovers he never doubted Itachis love. Why then? He wanted it himself, didn't he? Itachi did want him to stay, and at the same time- didn't he tell him to start a new life, away from him? How the fuck could he start a new life if all his world was concentrated in one word – 'Itachi'?

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Three days later

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

There was a knock at the door. Sasuke cussed, got off the bed and walked up to answer it. No one knew he had moved in here. Actually, besides Ki and Ayano no one else knew. Yeah, he had left a note with the address to Kushima. Just in case. Just in case...

Sasuke opened the door.

"Seriously, man, you should eat something. Feeding on dust from the plants for three days is not healthy, you know." Ki said, tapping Sasuke over the shoulder. After leaving his boots by the doors, he come in and placed a box of sushi on the kitchen table.

"I'm not hungry", Sasuke answered, closed the door and followed Ki to the kitchen then landed on the chair opposite him.

He watched Ki take the chopsticks out of paper shell and help himself with a bit of sushi, enthusiastically dipping it in ginger sauce.

"Tell me, is it about Itachi?" asked Ki, still pretending to be more interested in food rather than anything else.

Sasuke didn't reply, and turned away. Ki ate up one bit more, then got up and poured a glass of water from the tap, emptied it partly and returned to his place, setting the glass in front of himself. Then he said in a same manner

"Man. I don't want you to feel like you owe anyone an explanation, right? For me and for Ayano it's enough to know that you need a place to stay. That's it. But if you ever feel like you need a friendly advice or just someone to listen to, I'm here, man. Just so that you know. Sometimes it helps to have a different prospective on things. Who knows, man, maybe I can help"

Since he had left home the only Sasuke's activity besides breathing was thinking. He was thinking constantly, even waking up in the middle of the night to get back to thinking and in spite of being an Uchiha (and that involves higher level of intelligence that the rest of the population), after having marinated in his own juices for three long days and nights, he still didn't come up to any logical explanation or answer. Something didn't match.

Why was Kushima so kind and all-emotional towards him all of a sudden when he expected a nervous breakdown, hysterical outburst and a public scandal, at least?

And Itachi? He was totally devastated, he had never seen his brother like this before? Ok, the fact of him leaving would make Itachi hurt and so, but Itachi didn't even bother to say goodbye, knowing that they might not see each other for a very long time.

Why didn't he try to stop him from leaving? Didn't he love him at all? They could have run away together…no. Stop there. That's not right. Run away my ass. They were the Uchihas, in their own home..run away the hell where?

So here he was, lost and confused. And now Ki, sitting in front of him, with his appetizing looking sushi. Three days with no food is a long period. Even for an Uchiha. Sasuke lazily poked at a bit of gunkan-maki with his newly opened chopsticks.

After a moment of hesitation and three delicious sishi bits,Sasuke pronounced slowly

"It is about Itachi" and he looked at Ki.

It would be the first time him confessing about his feeling towards Itachi, especially to someone else, rahter than his brother. Ever. Yeah, if not to count the half- hangover guessing game the next morning after Sasuke's drinking.

Sasuke didn't know how to put it in words.

Ki waited a minute seing that Sasuke had trouble with talking it through. He lifted up his glass of water, made a clunk and stared in it then said.

"You know, man. There was one time this situation I had in my life. I fell for one guy- just don't tell Ayano!-..." he whispered covering his mouth and wary hinting towards the door, as a joke of course

"...anyhow we dated for two months or so and then it showed up that he had a girlfriend he'd been living with like several years, you know. The guy just searched for something to spice up their relationship with".

Ki gave Sasuke a sad wink and took one more clunk of water and stood up to refill his glass.

Sasuke stared at his every move, trying to read if there was some hint of lies or humor involved. It did not sound very truthful. But Ki's expression was just sad.

"Hn. So what happened?" Sasuke asked at last

Ki looked at him kindly.

"Nothing happened. I moved on. He moved on. That's life, man. You know."

Sasuke stared at him. Moved on? How? Maybe he didn't care as much as Sasuke cared for Itachi, as much as Itachi cared for him back?

"I think I might love him", said Sasuke at last, surprised by how melodramatic and woosy it sounded coming from him.

Ki didn't even smile at that.

"Ehh, man. Lucky you, then. " that sounded full of pity.

Sasuke looked away again. He felt he was getting too emotional in presence of a person he hardly knew.

"He knows that, right? " Ke asked and Sasuke chuckled.

"Hn".

He knew that alright. Sasuke, usually cold and arrogant, was tender, cuddly and loving towards his brother. And jealous too. And crazy about him. And…

"Well, does he love you back then?" Ki interrupted his thoughts

Sasuke didn't need to think with an answer.

"Hn."

"E-eh, man. Don't tell me now there is a woman involved?" Ki looked at Sasuke understanding. Sasuke chuckled again at his guess

"You know everything, don't you?"

A wide proud professional-psychologist smile split Ki's mouth.

"Well, then you are in shit, man. It's good you came to me. Welcome to the club."

"Actually, you came to me" smiled Sasuke bitterly, sighed and prepared for his confession.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

N/A: Yeah, guyz! I know I said I wouldn't update soon and instead at post two chapters at a go! After all nice Words, comments and Reviews that just made me reconsider my previous decision. Thank you all for that!

By the way: gunkan-maki is a type of sushi that consists of a rice ball wrapped in a piece of nori (seaweed),which extends in a cylinder upward to hold loose topping such as fisheggs.(wikipedia)