Without further ado here's chapter three since I know you're just dying to see it…or not
we roll:
Naruto got up from his bed lazily and with a big yawn he cursed at his arch nemesis, the sun.
"fucking sun…just go die"
he walked towards his fridge with a wobble along and wanted to take the usual milk and egg but decided to start his new day at the academy with a cup ramen…little did he know that the milk was long past its expiration date
'ready for our first day ku-chan?'
'you realize if it wasn't for your dad's seal I'd be raping you for calling me that right?'
enjoying the kyuubi's annoyance in the morning he gulped down the ramen in two minutes, got in a black sleeveless shirt, which of course had his favorite swirl sign and wore black pants with red flame marks scorching the end of it with his favorite black and red scarf
'its gonna be a great day…I can freaking feel it'
NINJA ACADEMY
Naruto was wondering what he should do for tomorrow's training when iruka came in through the door with a paper in his hand
"okay everyone, sit down quietly because I will now announce your teams and who will be your teammates"
he went through the teams until he reached team seven
"uchiha sasuke" suddenly the gravity seemed to dense when all girls held their breaths and some even muttered something about selling their souls
"haruno sakura"
"hell yeah!" shouted a pink haired, red dressed girl with an enormous forehead that made naruto notice its too big for her headband and forced back a laugh
"uzumaki naruto"
"WHAT THE FUCK?" was his answer
"why do I have to be in a team with a fangirl and a faggot?" said naruto enraged
he knew the haruno girl was all book smart and would probably be useless, being a fangirl and all
but he didn't like the uchiha that much either
kyuubi had told him about the sharingan the night he told him about the byakugan after the kumo-nin incident and naruto didn't like the method of stealing an opponent's much-worked-for jutsu just like that
"the teams are made to be balanced naruto and you were the dead last as far as I know"
'…kinda regretting accepting your forehead protector…'
"well everyone, wait in your assigned rooms and wait for your sensei to come get you
A ROOM IN THE ACADEMY
it was about two hours now and everyone else had met their sensei and gone within the first thirty minutes
"so sasuke-kun…wanna go on a date after this?" said sakura with her face red
"okay" was sasuke's unexpected answer
"REALLY?" said sakura as if she was just made the hokage
"no" said sasuke and naruto broke out laughing
"yo, is this team seven?" said a silver haired man in jounin suit with his headband over his left eye with his face covered and only his right eye visible
"YOU'RE LATE" was the united shout of naruto and sakura…and sasuke's if you translate "hmph" into it
"oh I was just lost on the road of life"
'hmm…I like his excuses…maybe we'll get along afterall'
"YOU'RE TWO HOURS LATE, WHAT KIND OF A JOUNIN ARE YOU?" sakura shouted in her not so pleasant voice which made the window glasses cry
"well…I guess my first impression of this group is…you suck!"
'…scratch that I'mma whoop his ass later'
"meet me on the roof"
he said before disappearing in a poof of smoke
ROOFTOP OF THE ACADEMY
"so tell me…what are your names, likes, dislikes and dreams?" said the man with a lazy voice
"shouldn't you go first?" said the blond
"well….my name is hatake kakashi…I don't like many things…I don't hate anything in particular…..and my dream is…none of your business"
'are you thinking what I'm thinking kid?'
'should we put explosives in his toilet or put grease in his bed?'
'sure why not'
"your turn now" said kakashi with a what-appeared-to-be-a-smile on his masked face
"brooders first" he pointed at the uchiha
"my name is uchiha sasuke, I don't like many things, I hate a lot of things and my dream is to kill a certain man"
naruto could feel sakura practically orgasming over his speech
"interesting…pinky"
"my name is haruno sakura…I like…"she glanced at sasuke
"my dream is…" she squealed which made naruto certain she just came hard
"and your dislikes?"
"NARUTO" she said in her bitch-voice
"okay…blondie"
"I'm chuck Norris,I like to fly around the world helping people and I dislike evil doers and my dream is to be a pony when I die" he said with a grin
"…seriously?"
"of course not you idiot
what kind of a ninja gives away everything about himself just like that?"
"well I'm your sensei so…whether you like it or not you have to answer"
"well…I'm naruto uzumaki
I like icha-icha books"
but in reality he just bought them for kyuubi's sake so he could skip peeking sessions
at that moment kakashi felt in heaven and swore to keep an eye on the boy's trainings in the future
naruto on the other hand was creeped out because kakashi was looking at him with his eye wide as a dining plate and naturally ignored sasuke and sakura's confused looks
"err…I also love ramen
I hate people who talk a lot mind you sakura-chan"
BONK...was the answer received
"I also hate brooders"
sasuke decided to ignore
"and my dream is…to WRITE ONE OF THE ICHA-ICHA SERIES!...nah I'm just fucking with you
I wanna be the strongest hokage ever"
and just like that kakashi's hopes for someone to carry his legacy was over
"well…its an interesting group…meet tomorrow at training ground eleven for your test"
"but we already passed the test" was the pinkette's statement
'can we rape her please?...i'll teach you how to destroy a mountain with a jutsu'
'I'd scream okay that moment but sadly…I'd be a rogue-nin and that's not something in the path of a hokage'
"oh that was just a test to see if you're worthy for the real one…and naruto…please stay…everyone else have the rest of the day off"
AFTER SAKURA AND SASUKE LEFT
"naruto…the hokage asked me to bring you to him but before that…were you serious about the book?"
"uhhh…duh" naruto decided not to say why he REALLY read that book…although the book could be useful someday
kakashi put his hand on the boy's shoulder
"boy…we will get along just fine" he said with tears pooling up in his eye"
'RAPE!'
"err…so…hokage?"
"oh right" and they roof-jumped out of there
HOKAGE'S OFFICE
Naruto and kakashi appeared behind the window of the hokage office to find the old man giggling behind an orange book facing away from the heap of paperwork
"ero-gram..." kakashi put a hand on naruto's mind before he could make his statement
he then opened the window quietly enough to let the man know they were there
"thank you kakashi
you have the day off" the old man said still behind his book
naruto found out that kakashi shut him up so he wouldn't make the old man lose his place on the page which was kinda creepy to him…and that's when he noticed what shit he had gotten himself into
"yes sir, and have a good day naruto-kun" he said before leaving
'okay…where dafuq did the kun come from?'
the old man put down his book and looked at naruto with a serious but red cheeked face which showed the effect of the book was still on
"naruto…I'm gonna be honest…how did you beat an elite chuunin like mizuki?"
'MOTHERFUCKER…HOW COULD YOU NOT NOTICE IF HE WAS WATCHING OR NOT?'
'OH SHUT IT…I was thinking of myuki-tama's breasts at the moment'
'…well…okay…I guess I'll let it slide this once…' and that was his defeat for worshipping a woman and talking about it with a demon
"w-well you see…" he stuttered
"I did it with ease" he tried to be as concise as possible
"I know naruto
I saw it through my crystal ball"
'no shit'
"what I wanna know is how you did it with ease…either my training program for chuunins is weak…or you're keeping something from me"
"actually he was pretty weak so I guess it's the first one"
"narutooo…" he said with a dangerous edge
"okay fine…but no one is to know about this" he turned on his heel
"and when I say no one I mean all three of you should leave"
the hokage had a slight seizure when naruto noticed his three best ANBU get discovered like that
"you may leave us…" he said before three figures appeared out of the wall and disappeared after a slight bow
"so gramps…you want the crash course or the whole deal?"
sarutobi sat down on his chair and lit his pipe
"the latter"
naruto sat down on the couch and put his feet up and made himself home
"lets see…"
and presto...Yes…I know I promised training years and how he's strong and yes I'm gonna deliver
I'm gonna be detailed with it so I guess I decided to give a whole chapter to it
peace out