Chapter ten my equally-awesome-to-be-still-reading-this friends v-v
this chapter (since its ten and I like ten) will be dedicated completely to chaos and mayhem…and when I say chaos I mean laughter and when I say mayhem I mean blood and stuff everywhere…not that it would affect you geniuses…
and just for this chapter, I do not own naruto in any way..guhuhu…or any of the famous characters you probably know in this chapter
we roll v-v/)
JUDGEMENT DAY…FOR SOME PEOPLE
Team seven minus a blond slim shady were helping the workers put the finishing touches on the bridge when suddenly, a mist approached the bridge
kakashi ordered everyone but team seven to leave the bridge
'naruto-kun…please make it in time'…if I told you sasuke thought that instead of haku…would you call me gay?
"looks like you finally decided to show up huh?" kakashi said, pulling his headband up to show his sharingan
'finally…time to see if kakashi's training had any results' sasuke thought to himself
TAZUNA'S HOUSE – NARUTO'S ROOM
"keheh" naruto smiled to himself adjusting the last seal on his belt
'about time I heard a woman scream…guhuhu' kyuubi said after hearing a scream from downstairs
naruto, was wearing his black-red striped scarf, black with swirl mark sleeveless shirt and long black with red stripes pants that reached to his heels plus wristbands and gloves
he put away the scroll he had that sealed his clothes away
he was also wearing his headband on his right arm, letting his hair fall loosely
naruto sped down the stairs and charged his kunais with wind chakra in advance
as soon as he saw the thugs, touching tsunami in private areas, he threw five kunais toward the man watching and pinned him to wall and threw three of them at the man molesting her, pinned to wall like his friend but alive
"BEHOLD, THE GREATEST NINJA TO EVER WALK THIS EARTH ARRIVES MOTHAFUCKAAAA"
he shouted in his usual pose
"naruto…" inari said from a corner, his mouth bloody and a cut on his arm
"good job kid…I see you finally stood up" naruto said to inari, while walking toward the molester
"who sent you?"
"suck my di-" naruto broke his arm, the bone clearly sticking out and visible
"OOOOWWWW YOU SICK FUCK
WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO INTERR-" naruto stabbed the bone with a kunai
"who dafuq sent you man?
I don't have all day long"
the thug pathetically confessed everything and in the end, naruto put a gag in his mouth and turned to tsunami
"gather everyone in the village and bring them to the bridge…it's prime time some justice was served"
and with that he left the house and left the thug at the mercy of a frying pan and a bowgun
THE BRIDGE – TEN MINUTES AFTER NARUTO MOVED OUT OF THE HOUSE
Zabuza tried to explain naruto's plan to kakashi but he didn't buy it for a second
"well I can't trust naruto completely and you want me to trust you who was about to kill me a few days ago?"
"guess its useless to talk…we'll just fight till he arrives…I'll beat you senseless enough so you can just LISTEN" the two jounins rushed at each other
on the other hand, sasuke was trapped in a cage of ice mirrors and was barely standing his ground with all the senbons on him
'shit….not yet…I can't die till I've killed him…'
'well…I beat him up as naruto asked…where is he?'
and speak of the devil…a loud explosion was heard in the mist and a few seconds later a shout was heard
"WIND STYLE : CUTTING WIND"
a great wind came from the source of the shout and a few seconds later, the whole battlefield was visible
everyone noticed naruto's new outfit and as usual I'll write what they thought…yeah…
'n..naruto?' sakura
'not half bad…'kakashi and zabuza thought something along the line
'showoff…is he trying to look intimidating?' sasuke
'wow…like he wasn't hot enough when he beat zabuza-sama' haku thought with a blush under her mask
"BEHOLD MOTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAAS
THE GREATEST NIN-"
"CHIDORI" kakashi went flying at the blond which surprised everyone
naruto simply sidestepped and kakashi's chidori missed him by a hair's breath
"what dafuq sensei?" naruto growled with a cold stare
"have you been working with the enemy?...zabuza told me of your plan…"
somewhere out of the heated argument, a red-eyed uchiha was snickering to himself
'good timing that I got my sharingan…thanks for the jutsu…kakashi sensei'
"so?...if you don't agree, you can stay the fuck out of it not go against it" naruto took a deep breath and walked toward the ice cage
"virgin-chan" he said opening his arms
the ice dome disappeared and the next second, naruto looked like a pin cushion
"FUCK" naruto charged his body with chakra and released it with a blow as all the senbons got out of his body
"naruto-kun…I thought I told you not to call me that again" haku said pointing another senbon at him
"okay fine…since you did such a nice job breaking his ego down a bit" he said looking at a bloodied sasuke
"SASUKE-KUN" yep…the pinkette screamed like a banshee, running toward her idol
thank god sasuke fell unconscious from the shriek because otherwise, he'd have suffocated the way she hugged him
"okay…and zabuza-san?"
"you're right…this place is getting kinda boring anyway…I guess I'm coming with you to konoha"
"alright…anyone disagree?" he said looking at kakashi
'what are you up to naruto?...' kakashi thought and just looked away
"just be sure to explain it to the hokage later because I'm not gonna waste my breath"
"yosh…hmm…I think it should be about time now…" he said looking at his sarutobi-erricson xteria P
"so…I see the demon got his ass kicked by a bunch of kids huh?" a gruff voice came from the back
"here we go" naruto said grinning and turning around
"yo mothafucka…I see you brought the party with ya" naruto said to the midget in the middle of what seemed to be an army
"shut up brat…well…I wasn't thinking of paying zabuza anyways…I guess I'll just kill all of ya"
everyone but naruto and zabuza stiffened at that
'shit….i'm almost out of chakra' kakashi thought to himself
"kakashi-sensei…" sakura asked the Cyclops
"naruto…can yo-"
"sure…just rely on the demon brat when shit comes to shove" naruto said looking away
kakashi just looked down
'I'm sorry minato-sensei…I couldn't be a better sensei for your son' (author says : no shit sherlock!)
naruto seeming to have noticed it looked back and said
"go join the konoha-club…they're sorry for treating the hero's son like that too" and with that he started walking toward the army
"hero's son?..demon brat?...what's he talking about kakashi-sensei?" sakura asked confused
'this is the least I can do for you naruto…' kakashi pushed a pressure point on sakura's neck and she fell unconscious
naruto looked back after hearing a thud and closed his eyes at the scene
"sniff…thanks bro" he gave kakashi a thumbs up and kakashi just nodded
WHERE IT GETS UGLY…NOT THAT YOU GENIUSES WOULD CARE
Naruto, zabuza and haku were walking toward the army until naruto motioned them to stop
"just hang back and watch the show"
"suit yourself" zabuza shoved his broadsword into the bridge and leaned on it
"be careful naruto-kun"
"awww
you care vir-…okay…" he backed away
"done fooling around brat?"
"oh don't mind us
you can have them gangbang you if you want…kehehe"
'nice one kid'
'actually…I'm gonna throw up as I think about a mob fucking a midget..ewww'
'…yeah….you didn't have to describe it you know'
"KILL THAT LITTLE SHIT" the midget shrieked and everyone roared and dashed toward the blond vessel
'let's see…what should we do…ah!'
"oi zabuza…mind giving me that slab of iron for a moment?"
"be gentle with it brat" he said throwing it at him
naruto instantly began pumping wind chakra into it and held the sword, as heavy as it was on his shoulder
"BRING IT BITCHES, CUTTING EDGE WIND SLASH" naruto roared as he slashed the sword in a horizontal line and anyone in the front was cut in half
'mother of god…' zabuza thought to himself taking off his ray-ban
'naruto-kun…' haku stared at the genin's power in awe
"well…" he threw the sword back at zabuza
"whaddya think?"
"not bad…"
naruto stared at him indifferently
"and not a single fuck was given that day…" he muttered to himself as he looked away
'really could use a stretching…' kyuubi noted to naruto
'oh yeah…'
naruto summoned kurama in a clone and his demonic twin showed kakashi his middle finger
"what I think of your dedication to icha-icha mothafucka"
"HOW DARE YOU?" kakashi got up and took a kunai out
"what's roro's middle name?" naruto asked ignoring the terrified army
"it's shintarou MOTHAFUCKA
CHPATER TWO PAGE FOURTY SEVEN LINE THREE WHEN HE WAS FLIRTING WITH MIKI'S MOM!"
kakashi looked down in defeat
"i…I have nothing to say"
"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
DECIMATE THEM"
the midget shouted running to the back of the army
"WIND STYLE…"
"FIRE STLYE…"
"BAHAMUT'S ROAR"
the twins opened their mouth and each shot an element out
the wind and fire hit each other a meter away and transformed into a dragon's head
the dragon opened its mouth and shot a fireball big enough to engulf the bridge in width at the army, burning most of them instantly, the rest burning alive and some getting third degree burns
'wow' was on every person still on the bridge's mind
"WHO DA MAN?"
"WE DA MAN BITCH"
the pair high fived and kurama went back into the seal
naruto held his hand toward the flames
"summoning…" he muttered to himself
suddenly a grappling shot out of his wristband and hit a short midget at the other end of the bridge, pulling him in a painful way since it was stuck in his…guess where
"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH"
"gatou…you've caused this village enough pain already…time to pay up" naruto threw him at the mob of people with inari in the middle along with tazuna and tsunami
"everyone…is here?" kakashi said noticing the mob after recovering from the burning scene that just unfolded
'oh yeah…they'll help a lot alright'
'stupid hoe is my enemy…stupid hoe is so whack…oh fuck this lets get back to the village already…I wanna master the firestorm rasengan'
'shit man…haven't you had enough?...you're at least high jounin right now'
'oh c'mon…those weren't even shinobi…they were just low life thugs'
'good point'
AFTER THE BRIDGE WAS FINISHED AND NAMED AFTER OUR HERO
ALONG THE ROAD OF KONOHA
Sasuke and sakura were glaring at the two new shinois and naruto dangerously and kakashi was reading chapter two of icha-icha
'naruto…I must have your power one way or the other'
'how dared you let sasuke-kun get beat up like that?'
naruto on the other hand was listening to busta nin with his gamabunta headphones (author's forehead turns red)
'mother of god…good thing he wasn't born female…if that was a woman lecturing at that pace…oh the pain' kyuubi said facepawing himself
'shit man…I can't even understand him after the first sentence…just…shit'
zabuza and haku on the other hand though…
'hmm…wonder if I'll meet anyone equally crazy there…'
'hmm…I wonder if naruto-kun is already taken'
kakashi…well…his single visible eye turned into a dining plate
'MOTHAFUCKAH…HE WAS RIGHT !'
NEAR THE KONOHA GATES
"okay kakashi sensei…why don't you go get the hokage since there's a high chance of the village flooding zabuza and haku without hearing us out" naruto stated, summoning a ramen cup from his scarf…which seemed to have red seals beneath it !
'…NARUTOOO…'if glares were harmful, sasuke just killed him…twice
'was he hiding that there all the time?'…the above average IQ heroine
"not bad kid but…in your scarf?"
"I always have it with me….well….i will from now on" he said grinning and slurping down the ramen
"see ya in a bit" kakashi walked toward the obvious gates of the, I put a pun on, HIDDEN leaves village
THREE HOURS LATER
"MOTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAA" naruto and zabuza roared at the hokage and the Cyclops
"sorry…I thought I saw a rape happen so I went to join it"…..kakashi mentally kicked himself
"oh…" zabuza's demeanor changed
"that's understandable" naruto sat down on the grass
BONK….BONK….SLASH….yeah…naruto was punched by the girls and sasuke decided to cut him with a kunai
"WHAT DAFUQ MAN?" he said annoyed at sasuke
"hmph"
"and why am I the only one hurt and not the creep with bandages over his mouth that possibly hide his drool?"
"all zabuza-sama said was oh…so no problem"
the hokage coughed to make everyone notice the strongest ninja in the village was present…yeah…
"naruto?"
"oji-san?"
'squirrel?'
"WUZZZZZZZUUUUU?"
everyone looked around and searched for the origin of the voice…nothing
'awwwww yeaaah'
'that's my bro' naruto hugged kyuubi's paw and kyuubi cuddled him in return
"YOU THREE IN MY OFFICE NOW" roared the enraged kage
THE OFFICE
"naruto…care to explain why you brought an A-ranked nuke nin and possibly the last of a kekkei genkai with you?" the old sage asked naruto
"sure…I want to…how should I put it…adopt them"
"….do clarify boy"
"you see…momochi here…he's a legendary swordsman and he could be a great aid to the village's military power…and since we have the last of the ice benders here with us, we also again, get stronger by having a new blood line in the village…BUT…she's mine"
haku turned bright red at that
"sigh…I'm too old for this…don't think I have a choice now do i?"
"nope…and tell that…council…of yours…if they even touch my haku I'll rip them all a new asshole and fuck them with zabuza's sword…plus my own cock...yeah…"
"and you wanna adopt zabuza how?"
"he'll be my best man" naruto said grinning
haku on the other hand, seemed to go black from all the redness
"okay…but I have no control over the council naru-"
"I know dood…just…tell them what I told you…from there on its their own fault"
"very well…you two will have your own separate apartments similar to naruto but don't worry, you'll all be in the same neighborhood…now if you'll excuse me…I need to use my crystal ball to…see how the village is fairing"
"its mixed bath day"
"YEEEESH…I mean…what are you talking about boy?
now get out of here I'm a busy old man"
OUT IN THE STREETS OF KONOHA
As usual, naruto was the victim of daggery stares
"guess we'll be crashing at your place brat"
"yeah….i guess"
"naruto-kun…what's with all the stares?"
"it's a…long story…I'm the jinchuriki of the kyuubi to be concise"
'…wait…YOU LIED ITS MIXED BATH DAY MOTHAFUCKA
ITS TUESDAY TODAY'
'sigh….kyuubi my dear…we're not peeking since we have guests for today so why let him have fun while we shrivel up and die?'
'…I just….i love you man'
'it's all good bro'
"why don't you guys look around a bit?
I have a few people to see first"
"sure…"
"see you later naruto-kun"
and with that naruto roof-jumped to…
THE WEAPON SHOP
He went in there to find tenten's dad sitting behind the counter and he instantly killed him with his glare…if he could
"what do you want boy?"
"oh I just came to make a deal with the devil"
"…I'm listening"
"go to the hokage…tell him I sent you…and give this to him"
he handed him a scroll
"and I should do as you say why?"
"because…trust me…it'll be to your advantage"
"hmph…now if u don't mind" he pointed at the door
"sure…"
ROOF JUMPING TOWARD THE FLOWER SHOP
"eh?...closed for lunch?...guess she must be at my place…oh well"
ROOF JUMPING HOME
'dood…what was in that scroll?'
'my letter to oji-san to tell him only about how the seal works and who my father is'
'…hmm…I see where you're going with this…'
'you're my soulmate man, if you don't…who does?' he stared at the camera with sunglasses on
NARUTO'S DOORFRONT
Naruto tried knocking but after he heard no answer, he tried the knob and it was open
he went inside to see his house just like it was when he left and the flowers had grown a little
"hello girls" he petted his flowers gently
that's when he heard the moans
he went to the source of the voice in his room and saw ino hugging his bed sheets
"ino-chan?" he asked like he saw hashirama in fornt of him
ino turned around to see naruto leaning on the room's door and staring at her
"n..naruto-kun…it's not what you think" she said jumping off the bed
naruto walked towards her and she closed her eyes waiting for her punishment (the darkness in jackie estecado : PUNISH HER)
naruto kneeled in front of the sitting blond and rubbed her cheek
"its okay…I use the axe spray before I go to bed" he said looking at the camera
"really?" she opened her eyes glad she wasn't addicted to a boy's smell
"NO" naruto said and got up
"but I would like an explanation"
"naruto-kun…i…"
'oh shit…I saw this part in icha-icha chapter three'
'oh god..'
"I like you...a lot"
naruto looked at his feet and ino was having a million thoughts go through her head
'…I just remembered…the shodaime's law of having multiple wives'
'gasp…kid…I'm so fucking proud of ya I could cry'
naruto hugged the girl suddenly
"thank you for confessing…I'm grateful you did it ino-chan"
ino was at a loss of words
naruto kissed her cheeks and she felt like she could just die (note at the end)
'just take her home and let the feeling settle…guhuhu'
naruto carried her bridal style and she clung to his neck
IN FRONT OF THE FLOWER SHOP
"here we go" he put her down
"thanks…oh here" she gave back the apartment keys
"thanks for taking care of my house ino-hime"
"my pleasure…kinda" she giggled
"see ya"
KONOHA'S EASTERN DISTRICT
He found zabuza and haku after twenty minutes of jumping all over konoha near a bar
there seemed to be a commotion so he jumped on a higher building and looked at the scene
"c'mon gramps, we just wanna have a good time and show her konoha's wonders" a husky man said with his posies
"kid…if I had my broadsword I'd have long chopped you in half but I'll do you a favor and let you off this time so get lost" zabuza said and haku was trembling behind him…probably pissed off too
'sigh….this is the fourth time today'
'oh HELL NO you don't you mothafuckas' naruto jumped down between the man and zabuza, cracking the ground beneath him
"any problem here zabuza?"
"yeah man….they're hitting on your girl"
"is that so?" he said turning to look at the wanna-be playboys
"tch…you wanna mate with the demon spawn?
you're pathetic you bit-" naruto used his hands to hold the man's head and kneed him as hard as possible in the face…which made it no longer recognize-able
"woops…reflex" he said sarcastically
'well…he was right you know…with what I saw with INO today…I think she would WANT to be your bitch my man since she actually saw you in battle'
'of course man
I'm gonna make her scream all day long for me with that voice of hers'
"lets get outta this dump" the trio shunshined to naruto's house
NARUTO'S HOUSE
"okay…zabuza on the couch, me and my lady on the bed"
BANG…naruto got kneed in the balls by haku
'OH MY GOD…was that the size of it when its flaccid?...how big will it be if its hard?'
"OH MY BALLS…GUHH…" naruto fell to the ground and blood rushed to his face
'SHIT…I CAN'T HEAL IT FAST ENOUGH…I'M SORRY MAN I CAN'T DO ANYTHING' the kyuubi screamed like a doctor losing his patient
'its alright bro…I'll just do her all the more harder'
"okay fine…I was gonna go train anyways"
'AGAIN?...AT THIS TIME?' zabuza and haku thought
"see ya" he disappeared with that
"hmm…where's the bathro…"haku asked zabuza but he was asleep already
'…naruto's bed…' she thought staring at the bed
note : i suck at romantic scenes so sue me twice
Finito…shit my hands hurt from all that typing…so do my balls and brain but meh
its all for a good cause…to give you geniuses a reason to live on!
if you loved it like I loved it, freddy mercury when you're ALONE so you won't have to explain yourself
peace out!