This is where the chuunin exams arc begins…and those who want temari to join the harem…ah fuck this I'm just gonna put everyone but the pinkette in it…hmm…or not…maybe I'll just do everyone a favor and put everyone in it
MORNING AFTER ZABUZA AND HAKU JOINED KONOHA – NARUTO'S TRAINING FIELD
Naruto was lying on the ground with several craters around him
'fuck…its like going up and down at the same time'
'one more time and then lets go chow some ramen bro'
'okaaaay'
he got up and held out his hand
after a few seconds of concentrations, a blue spinning orb appeared in his hand
'okay…now for the hard part'
two tendrils came out of his shoulders and turned into clawed hands
the rested on top of the orb and started channeling chakra into it
the blue orb started to turn red and the core became yellow
'shit…shit..almost…got the hang of it'
the orb started getting bigger and bigger
'ah fuck…'
he jumped at the nearest tree and slammed the unstable rasengan into it
"BURN BABY BURN"
the orb disappeared into the tree's trench and after a second, a column of fire engulfed it and only a crater was left in its place
'not half bad…we're getting somewhere with this dood'
'ramen…ramen'
he started tree-jumping to his safe haven
A FEW MINUTES OF TREE JUMPING – NEAR HYUUGA MANSION
'hmm…lets go visit uncle hiashi' naruto thought deviously
'kid…what are you doing?' the kyuubi asked confused but then it hit him
'!...kid…stahp'
hiashi was watching hinata and neji in a blazing taijutsu match with hanabi sitting next to him…until he sensed something falling
neji and hinata also sensed it so they jumped back and where they were fighting recently, a blond grinning genin with his head-band on his arm appeared
"long time no see hiashi-sama"
"naruto…" hiashi calmed down after seeing the blond
"any special reason you decided to crash in on the spar?
and don't tell me its just because you wanted to show me your new attire"
"nah…just wanted a little rematch" he looked at the hyuuga genius
'who is this creep?' hanabi's thoughts
'wow…I can see his muscles through his sweaty shirt…' the red heiress…GUESS WHY SHE'S RED!
'keh…this will be fun' neji returned the stare with a smirk
'aww…he thinks he can beat you'
'yeah…just let me double the weights'
"just one moment" naruto did a few handseals and his body glowed for a little then faded
'OMG' hinata almost fainted from seeing a shining naruto
'…weight seals?' hiashi thought after using his byakugan
"not only are you running out of chakra already…how heavy are you now?" hiashi asked
"oh I feel a lot lighter" he lied
"lets do this already" neji got into his jyuuken stance
"oh please…by all means…the winner gets to kiss hinata and the loser has to eat shino's fatest bug"
ignoring hinata's opinion, the two rushed at each other and naruto found it hard to evade his palm thrusts
'damn…he's getting good'
'curses…why can't I hit him?'
naruto jumped back and drew a kunai from his wrist-band's seal
"really eager to kiss hinata?"
"CURSE YOU" he rushed at him again but naruto cut him on the cheek
"not very fair if I fought your jyuuken after my training session now is it?"
"hmph…you are no match for it so I gue-"
"what was that?" naruto put away the kunai
"you cannot beat the ultimate taijutsu style…the gentle fist"
naruto looked down for a few seconds
'not a bad idea'
'naruto-kun…'
'hmm…what is on your mind boy?'
'wow…this creep isn't half bad'
"okay" he said with a grin
"lets finish this in the upcoming chuunin exams"
hiashi stiffened
"how do you know?
the council hasn't even announced it yet"
"books of course
it happens this time every year"
'how stupid is this village?' naruto thought to himself
"very well…but why the tournament?"
"meh I have my reasons"
"hmph…It is your fate to lose…deadlast"
naruto gripped his hand into a seething fist
"you sure talk big hyuuga…I'll just show you how even the dead last can beat you geniuses with hard work"
naruto bowed to hiashi and looked at hinata
"the bet is still on so be sure to brush your teeth every night"
he disappeared in a shunshin after that
'he….he really wants to kiss me?' neji thought…..nah just kidding…it was hiashi !
ICHIRAKU – AFTER TWELVE BOWLS OF PORK AND MISO RAMEN
'sunovacock!...how do you fit all that in?'
"thanks old-man"
"very welcome boy" teuchi thanked his ATM
"thanks to you too nee-chan"
"I hope you enjoyed it naruto"
"jeez…keep cooking for me like that and I'll marry you one day"
a deadly silent filled the shop
"….with…uncle's….permission of course"
he decided to exit the shop before suffocating
'damn…good thing I didn't say mistress…'
'ya think?'
'big plans today my friend…big plans'
'which I look forward to'
WEAPON SHOP
Naruto entered to see tenten and his father in a conversation
"yo…am I interrupting something?"
"naruto-kun"
"namikaze-sama"
"WOAH" naruto was blown back by the bowing father
"I am very sorry for mistreating you before…please accept my humble gift" he held out what naruto thought he'd never have
the katana he saw as a child…the masamune
"wow…thanks father-in-law" he took the long katana and gave it a test swing and loved how light it was
'keheh…I'll have fun with this'
"f..father-in-law?...namikaze?...naruto-kun what's going on?"
"tenten in your roo-"
"no sir…you must leave us alone…I will explain" he said winking at the girl
"hai" and he went to the back of the store
"naruto-kun…"
"I have to leave but can you do me a favor?
can you tell hinata, ayame and ino to be at my house tonight?"
"okay…wait…why are they all girls?" she asked dangerously
"see you all tonight"
TRAINING FIELD SEVEN
Naruto arrived to see no kakashi so he just slept on a tree branch, not wanting to hear a certain pinkette banshee drive him crazy
'hmm…really wish I could fuck her crazy with that voice'
'bro…are you having a fetish for screams?'
'well…it's not fun if there's no scream to show how good it is…if you know what I mean'
"yo"
"YOU'RE LATE"
naruto thanked god he was ten meters away
"naruto…do ten push-up for not getting damaged in the ear" kakashi said looking at where naruto was
"sigh" naruto jumped down the tree and did as told
"YOU WERE AVOIDING ME?"
"…no I was protecting sasuke under the command of the council" naruto said with wide eyes
"really?"
"…." Naruto just looked at kakashi and kakashi understood his pain
"the dobe is being sarcastic" sasuke said in his usual tone
BAMPH…a critical hit to naruto
its super effective!
"MOTHAFUCKA" he was being held back by kakashi not to attack sasuke
"okay calm down everyone
I have good news today"
'about time' naruto thought
kakashi gave the three a piece of paper with their names on it and some explanations
"this year, the chuunin exams are being held konoha and-"
"okay" naruto and sasuke said in unison
"stop copying me with that sharingan of yours fag"
"hmph"
"but…I don't understand…okay what?"
naruto and sasuke disappeared in a blow of leaves and kakashi was doomed to explain it to the heroine of the story
A FEW TRAINING FIELDS FURTHER
Naruto jumped out of the trees and into the clearing
"get out here faggot"
sasuke appeared behind naruto a few meters away
"what do you want?"
"train me"
"no please?"
"I'm the last of the uchiha and-"
"so what?
if you want power so much…beat me"
naruto put his palm on his headband and as he slid his hand down, a long katana followed it
'cool place you chose for it dude'
'lets just shut him up for now'
"hmph…time to show you the power of an uchiha"
sasuke activated his sharingan and went through a series of hand seals
"fire style…GREAT FIREBALL JUTSU" he launched a big fireball toward naruto
"you're too weak…" naruto cut the fire ball in half with his chakra enhanced katana
"TO DEFEAT ME" naruto appeared next to sasuke and kicked him in the guts
'shit…'
sasuke turned into a piece of log
'wait…he's beneath me?'
he jumped away just in time before sasuke appeared out of the ground with a kunai in hand
'so…kakashi is training you personally huh?...'
"I said beat me not kill me faggot"
"shut UP" sasuke summoned a chidori in his hand and naruto's eyes went wide
"a bit too harsh for a friendly spar no?" kakashi asked appearing between the two
"beat it" sasuke said with command
"sigh…naruto just get out of here
I'll talk to sasuke"
"okay…tell your beloved pupil to stay the fuck out of my way" naruto turned around to walk away but inside….he knew what was gonna happen
"CHIDORI" sasuke aimed to slam his thundery fist into his chest
"I said…" naruto took his wrist and broke it with his grip
"YOU'RE TOO WEAK" he shoved his katana into his shoulder and threw him away painfully
"sigh…you didn't have to go that far naruto" kakashi said examining sasuke
"I did…he's not pushing himself far enough
and his ego is in the way too"
"what would you know huh?" sasuke muttered in anger
"no one gives a shit what happened to you sasuke" naruto stared at him with red slitted pupils
"people only worship you for what you have
and I've had it way worse than you so go shove a chidori up your ass and be done with it…and here's a little salt for your wound…you'll never beat the one who murdered all of them"
naruto disappeared in a blow of leaves and left a pissed uchiha and his mentor alone (author feels a spike of enthusiasm from the girl section of readers)
HAKU'S HOUSE
Naruto knocked on her door and it opened after a few minutes
"naruto-kun? What's-"
"my house tonight don't be late" he went away after that
'wow…I've never seen him pissed like that'
RANDOM DISTRICT IN KONOHA
'god damn…I don't need him to train me personally or kiss my ass all the time but…DAMMIT…I wish I had just left him to die there with zabuza'
Naruto was sitting on a roof when his attention was caught by a scene in the alley
"oi kid" the boy with markings on his face said to the boy lifting him by the scarf
"what do you think you're doing bumping into me?
are you blind?"
"kankuro…just let it go…we don't wanna get into trouble already" a blond girl with four pigtails told him from behind
the boy was just trembling in fear, and naruto knew who he was with just a glimpse
"fine…I just need to teach him a lesson in PAIN" kankuro pulled his fist and was gonna punch the boy until a kunai hit the ground near his feet
"what the?.." he looked up to see naruto gripping his katana
"you realize you were just about to punch the hokage's grandson in the face right?"
"huh?" he asked and dropped the kid
"you wanna fight?"
"in my country?" naruto said pointing his blade at the boy's head-band
"if you're here for the chuunin exam…" he jumped down and stared him dead in the eye
"run when you see me"
he looked at the girl next
'what a hunk…' she thought, checking naruto out
"but for you my lady…" he got on one knee and kissed her hand
"unless you're a virgin, you can't run faster then me"
'AWWWWW YEAAAAAH' kyuubi shouted in excitement
"what do you think you're doing?" a hollow voice came from a tree branch
'shit?...i didn't even notice him…but this feeling...'
he got up on his feet and stared at the newcomer
'kyuubi…'
'it's the ichibi…'
"BRO" he opened his arms at the redhead boy with a giant gourd on his back
"gaara…it's not what you think" kankuro tried to explain
"we leave…now…and I'm not your brother"
the trio left and naruto couldn't help but stare at the girl's ass
"HEEEEY…I DIDN'T GET YOUR NAME" he shouted even though she wasn't that far away
"…temari" she said without turning around
"CAN YOU TAKE ON TWELVE INCHES?"
….author has fainted
readers whited out !
'is he joking?' she thought to herself
'you know…she doesn't really have a choice'
'exactly my point' naruto grinned evilly
THAT NIGHT – NARUTO'S HOUSE
Naruto entered his house to see hinata, ino, tenten, haku and even ayame present
"well…where do I begin?..."
'by taking off your pants?'
THE END
THIS IS WHAT YOU DESERVE FOR NOT FREDDY MERCURY-ING
PEACE OUT!