Chapter twelve without a single ado….just…read at your own risk
we roll v-v/) :
THE DOOMNIGHT…FOR SOME…ONE
"…"
"naruto-kun?" haku decided to break the ice(author says : AWW YEAH)
the girls were wondering what's wrong with the blond
'bro…what were you thinking calling all of them?'
'i..have no fucking Idea
I was just drunk or something at the time…aww man'
naruto felt like the prince of persia and in front of him were too many dahakas to handle at once
"erm…umm…" naruto just stuttered in fear…of pain
'aww…he's stuttering…how cute' haku, ino and ayame thought
'he…he stutters too?' hinata's thoughts
'you can do it naruto-kun' tenten gave him a mental thumbs up
"I'm gay"
everyone face-palmed and haku reached for her pocket
"just kidding…erm…why I gathered everyone here tonight is to say that…well…as you know…I'm the last of the uzumaki…and namikaze"
everyone shared confused looks
"what I'm saying is…I'll be using the shodaime's law to…erm…since I'm the last as I said…I'm using his law to…to…"
"what naruto-kun?" ayame asked curiously
"have multiple wives"
everyone were staring at naruto like he just told them the sky is actually green
"well…"
"umm…"
"you see…"
everyone were at a loss for words
"not now" he said and everyone breathed easily
"it'll be when I'm at LEAST 18"
everyone mentally kicked themselves for forgetting such important note
"what I'm getting at is, please make up your minds by then
if you don't want to, it is completely understandable…err…yeah
anyone want ramen?"
"i…I think I need to think a little" ayame said, going for the door
"me too" haku also got up
"me three" tenten also went out
ino waited for hinata to leave so she could talk to naruto but she just sat there and looked down
"see ya later naruto" she pecked his cheek as she left
"bai"
"you have something to tell me hinata?"
"i…I love…naruto-kun"
'okay...act surprised...1...2...3...look down...count to ten...and hug with fake tears in eyes'
'hmm...i believe her jacket is hiding her blessings naruto...'
'seriously?'
naruto went forward and hugged her softly
"thank you hinata
I can't imagine how much you had to push yourself to confess and I'm thankful for it"
"that's why…I'll train harder from now on…to be your best wife"
'okay…weird turn of events'
"okay..if..that's what you'd like"
she kissed naruto on the lips which took him also by a big surprise
'you know…in chapter one…it said the timid type were the most ferocious'
'try spanking her ass'
but he had no time as she soon fainted
"oh well…I'd rip apart her clothes and fuck her awake but…meh…I wanna hear her scream"
with that said, he carried the heiress to the hyuuga mansion and explained that she was unconscious not dead
NEXT DAY – CHUUNIN ENTRANCE BUILDING
'you have got to be bustin jiejering me'
naruto stared in awe at the group of genin gathered near the bathroom door
'good thing I took my dump this morning'
naruto was walking along with sasuke, who had bandages on his shoulder and wrist and sakura who was looking worriedly at sasuke
"please let us through" a genin said to the two guards in henge
"sorry but that's a no"
naruto just went up the stairs and quietly left sasuke and sakura to explain about the genjutsu over the WC board
he entered the room to see a few groups of genin and they all stared at him as he entered
'so not everyone's a shit-for-brain'
'actually…'
kyuubi stopped his sagely speech and took a loud whiff
'I smell…snakes…it's him'
a white haired boy with glasses glowed red to naruto's eyes and the glow disappeared a second later
"wuzzuu bro?"
"oh..hello"
"hey…" naruto pointed at the boy's head-band
"I never saw you before"
"oh…this is my fifth time if I remember right" he said scratching the back of his head"
naruto put his hand on his shoulder and gripped it tightly
"I feel ya bro…I'm a deadlast too" he said with fake tears in his eyes
"so how come you failed five times?"
"well-"
"NARUTO" naruto didn't even need to force his brain to process whose voice that was
"hey dobe, you'll get lost if you don't stick with us"
soon enough, the rest of the rookie nine gathered around and greeted each other
"everyone meet..err"
"kabuto"
"meet kabuto, kabuto meet ino,tenten,lee,neji,shikamaru,chouji,kiba,hinata,shino and I'm naruto"
"nice to meet everyone"
"and they are?" kabuto pointed at sasuke and sakura
"my hairstyler and my gay partner"
BONK
"so…what's your specialty kabuto?"
"oh…I have nin-cards"
"cool…give me sasuke uchiha"
"okay…wait..you know about them?"
"yeah man…I ain't stupid"
"okay…one sasuke uchiha…coming up"
kabuto put a nin-card on the floor and channeled chakra
the card showed sasuke's stats and picture
"hmm…good taijutsu,ninjutsu,genjutsu,weapons….a genius"
sasuke stood in front of kabuto and looked at him indifferently
"naruto uzumaki"
the card showed only naruto's picture
the rest were blank except for his missions part
"what?...IMPOSSIBLE" kabuto almost fainted
'hehehe…idiot'
'good thing you asked the hokage to change your name to namikaze uzumaki huh?'
kabuto stared at naruto with wide eyes
"HOW?"
"well…you need a person's full name right?
you don't have mine so…"
"ALLRIGHT
LISTEN YOU MAGGOTS
GET IN YOUR SEATS AND SHUT THE FUCK UP"
'oh…that's a rough party-man'
THROUGH THE PAPER EXAM
Naruto knew this was just a means to collect information as the questions were clearly above genin level
'hmm…that was a close one with kabuto
I should thank him later for almost revealing my shiznet'
'sigh…how much longer?'
'close enough…afterall…we both decided when it'll be right?'
naurto started doodling troll faces on the paper
AFTER HALF AN HOUR
Ibiki explained about the tenth question and its rules
naruto decided to cut down the numbers a little…lot
"so…if we fail to answer the question?"
"you stay genin for life"
'or go nuke-nin'
the population instantly got cut in half in numbers
'damn…so many…get lost already'
"well then…you all….PASS"
"NO SHIT" naruto couldn't help but blurt
everyone stared at him like he just told them sasuke has a twin brother
"...my sarutobi-erricson just told me my fortune and there's a chance i'll get raped today"
'...fuck...is he for real?
oh well...i guess its gonna be an interesting year this time'
AFTER ANKO MADE HER ENTRANCE AND EVERYONE ARRIVED AT THE FOREST OF DEATH
'sniff…oh god…who's been bathing with the snakes?'
naruto saw anko, kabuto and a grass nin glow red
'holy shit…the grass nin stinks…the glow is big as a baby bijuu…and how come the instructor stinks of it too?'
anko noticed naruto was checking her out…or she thought
she threw a kunai at him and naruto let it cut his cheek
"sorry" she said licking his bloodied cheek
"I slipped"
"here's your kunai madam" a six inch long tongue put the kunai in front of anko's face
'dat tongue combo!'
"aww thank you dear" she said taking the kunai…wet with saliva
"but next time, DO use the hands god gave you"
"and take a shower dude" naruto said covering his nose
"you stink of snakes"
anko stiffened and the nin just bowed
"I'll remember that…konoha-kun"
AFTER EVERYONE ENTERED WITH THEIR RESPECTIVE SCROLLS AND THE EXAM BEGINNED
Team seven was tree jumping and sasuke started making the plans
"okay, we'll go to the tower straight and hide near the entrance and ambush anyone that comes and take the earth scroll"
"good plan sasuke-kun" the pink power ranger said in excitement
"no shit…you guys can do as you please…I have…people to thank…but don't worry
I'll catch up"
"naruto WAIT" sasuke tried stopping him but he was long jumped-away
WITH NARUTO
'oi kyu….get ready for a sannin battle…I don't think anyone but the snake-sannin can stink as bad as that'
'hmm…aren't you going too far?
at least alert the authorities'
'ahh they won't do shit
they won't stop the exams for a simple s-rank nuke-nin who's here to probably destroy konoha with a mass invasion…I think…' he thought and looked at the camera
'oh
there's my bro!'
with a hard leap, naruto appeared in front of kabuto and his teammates
"bro!" naruto said with excitement…which no one noticed the sarcasm
"naruto!
wait…where're your teammates?" he said looking around and his posies holstered their kunai
"I wouldn't holster my weapon if I were you" naruto took his sword out of his head-band seal and unsheathed it
"I noticed that…how and why does a genin I've never seen around AND I KNOW EVERYONE, have all that information?
more importantly…"
he pointed his sword at kabuto
"what does orochimaru want here?"
"KILL HIM" kabuto shouted, his teammates dashed at naruto but naruto just evaded their pathetic taijutsu and slashed their heads off
"tch…pathetic kawarimi" the bodies turned into rock
'he cut…ROCK?' kabuto thought, now trembling
"look…I don't wanna kill you…yet…just quit when you reached the tower okay?"
kabuto's teammates facepalmed and the sound echoed in the forest
"what?" he said re-sealing his sheathed blade
"nevermind…are you just gonna let us go?"
"sure…its boring with so much peace anyway
and I'm just a simple genin so who'd believe me huh?"
'uzumaki…WHAT are you?' kabuto thought
"well…see ya" and he disappeared
A FEW MINUTES LATER
'oh shit…my head hurts from the smell…I smell snakes…bitches and…uchihas?'
'interesting…'
WITH OROCHIMARU,SASUKE AND SAKURA
Sakura was knocked out from fear and sasuke was beaten bloody
orochimaru wasn't in tip-top condition either
"hmhmhm…I see your sensei trained you well…tell me…do you want more….POWER?" he said licking his lips
"…yes" sasuke muttered
orochimaru's neck grew in size and his head shot at sasuke
he bit his neck and a mark appeared on it
"AAAAAAAARGH" sasuke passed out from the pain
"you will come to me sasuke-kun…soon…"
"AND WE'LL BE TOGETHER FOREVER MY LONG LOST LOVE" naruto blurted while laughing his ass off on the ground
"WHAT?...oh…it's the demon brat" he said snickering
"what?...oh…it's the guy who enjoys having snakes slither up his ass before sleeping" naruto continued the cat fight and a tick mark appeared on orochimaru's head
"watch your tongue boy…I'm"
"the snake sannin
one of the three legendary ninjas of konoha…so what?"
"what?..."
"you three pathetically lost to hanzou
you technically got that name for losing so why are you so proud?" naruto said unsheathing his blade
"you'll learn to respect others boy….the hard way"
orochimaru launched at naruto and naruto screamed "RAPE" before the author gave everyone a cliffhanger