Without further ado
chapter XIII
we roll v-v/)
"RAPE"
"DIE"
naruto blocked a kick from the sanin with his arm and tried to sweep kick the man but the man jumped away
naruto released all his weight and chakra seals and kicked the ran from the man as he followed, but he barely outran the sannin and he was catching up by the seconds
"from what?
your dick can't be that big since you have such small feet"
orochimaru grew angrier
"insult after insult…do you really think I'll let you go now BRAT?"
orochimaru held out his hand and his fingers glowed purple
'oh'
'crap…if I get hit by that…I'll be as bad a chuunin….but since I'm a master of the seals…'
naruto stopped pointed his blade at the snake
"you know…you don't really need chakra to finger someon-"
"five star seal-"
"GO FUCK YOURSELF"
naruto disappeared in a poof
'a clone?...before he arrived?...DAMM-'
"CHOU ODAMA RASENGAN" naruto shouted from above with a rasengan the size of a house
'shi-'
WITH ANKO
'yummy…nothing beats dango with genins screaming in pain' she smirked from above a tree in the forest
'hmm?'
she looked left after sensing a spike of chakra
a second later, a giant explosion could be seen with a red column of fire at the middle of it
'what the fuck?' she sped toward the explosion
WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE THE EXPLOSION
Orochimaru jumped with all his might to the left and leapt about five meters
"I'm a sannin brat
a move like that is not enough"
naruto and his rasengan suddenly disappeared in a blur
"WHAT?" orochimaru yelled after noticing it was a genjutsu
'I wasn't expecting a genjutsu that strong from a genin…dammit…I'll punish kabuto for his false information later'
orochimaru still hadn't landed yet when naruto appeared where he would land
in his hands was a red spinning orb with a bright yellow core
"IMPOSSIBLE"
"BLAZE…RASENGAN" he shoved the power-bomb into orochimaru's guts and everything went white for the snake tamer (deepest apologies to pokemon fans...and serperior)
WITH ANKO
She arrived to a giant crater as if a meteor had hit it and to the sides were the boy she cut the cheek of and the other side a torn apart body
"a little help would be nice" he said limply on the ground
"damn…did you do that kid?"
"I'd watch out for him if I were you" naruto rolled his eyes and she looked at the body
it stood up even though its organs were visible and sticking out on some parts but its mouth grew a feet wide and a pale skinned man covered in saliva came out of it
"uzumaki…NARUTOOOO"
"HOLY SHIT I DID NOT JUST SEE THAT…wait…if I kill you again…you won't come out of your mom's privates will you?" naruto said carelessly even though he was barely keeping awake from chakra exhaustion
'I won't forget this'
"I'll spare you for now boy…"
"WAIT" anko shouted at her ex-sensei
"sorry my dear
we'll play again some other time" he licked his lips and disappeared into the forest
"…so did you guys play find the snake in the hole and his ass opened as big as his mouth right now?" naruto joked chuckling
"HOW CAN YOU JOKE LIKE THAT?
YOU'RE A GENIN AND YOU FOUGHT ALMOST FACE TO FACE WITH A SANNIN-"
"oh shut u.." naruto went dead asleep
"you have a lot of explaining to do…" she proceeded to take naruto's body to the tower
HOSPITAL OF THE TOWER
Naruto awoke in a white room and in white clothes all over him
"shit…I died huh?"
"not quite my boy"
sarutobi said from the side of the bed
naruto tried to move to see the old man but his body ached all over
"ouch…damn it sucks"
'I'd have healed you but…it'd be kinda flashy and I wouldn't want the snake girl to see'
'thanks man…I know you have my back'
"so tell me…how did you beat a sannin…and my ace student?"
"its called strategy old man
take him by surprises all the way and give it your all with one finishing move mothafucka"
"so basically…"
"yeah
I don't think I could hold a candle to that guy
so…now if you don't mind…" naruto closed his eyes and red chakra glowed all over him
"incredible…" sarutobi stared in awe as his bruises went away and slim shady jumped up the bed (i meant naruto not the legend)
"say…you know where my clothes are old man?"
sarutobi pointed to the room's closet
"thanks…still have to take care of the other two"
"don't get into another trouble like that boy
it was a bit too hard to persuade anko to go away…I had to give her an all-you-can-eat card from the hokage to a dango shop so she would leave…for now"
"thanks again old man…you're the only reason I'm still staying in this shit of a village"
naruto started changing and the hokage stared out the window into the forest
"naruto…please…find it in your heart to forg-"
"NO
WHY DO THEY DESERVE MY FORGIVING?
I'M THE SON OF THE HERO AND SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE ONE WHEN I DON'T EVEN COUNT FOR SHIT IN THIS VILLAGE" naruto roared with hate
"this village…is too corrupt to be saved by its own stupidity…" naruto silently left the room to find his beloved teammates
'I'm sorry minato…I couldn't be a better grandfather to your only son and the village gets what it deserves in the end…'
A FEW MILES AWAY FROM THE TOWER
Sakura was shaking in fear and her hair seemed shorter
lee was knocked out next to her but he was beaten all over
standing on top of three dead bodies was sasuke with tomoe markings all over his body
"hmhmhmhm…this power…I like it"
"woah…" naruto stared at sasuke's body flowing with chakra
'damn…that's some dark chakra'
"like what you see dobe?"
"oh no
what I was thinking is…orochimaru would orgasm instantly if he saw you right now"
"EAT THIS" sasuke summersaulted naruto in the chin and naruto flew through a tree
'shit…' naruto started unsealing himself
"s..sasuke-kun…please stop" sakura yelped with tears flowing down her eyes
"SASUKE" naruto started pumping chakra into his rasengan
"NARUTO" sasuke formed a chidori
"STOP IT" sakura placed herself in the middle and opened her arms
"if you want to kill each other…you have to go through me first"
the boys stared at each other a moment and smirked at the same time and released their jutsus
"I'll beat your ass…"
"in the tournament for the whole world to see" naruto finished sasuke's sentence and the author felt a few narusasu fan faint
naruto threw an earth scroll toward the pinkette
"lets move"
"where'd you-"
"from the creep who molested your dear sasuke-kun"
naruto started moving but her voice stopped him
"what changed you naruto?"
naruto turned around seething with hate
"you…all of you…this village and every single idiot in it"
he turned and walked toward the tower
"naruto…"
"lets move" sasuke followed naruto and the marks slowly recovered back to the original one on his neck
THE TOWER – AFTER ANYONE WHO SURVIVED REACHED IT
"since there's so many of you we'll be having a preliminary round" hokage said scratching his beard
"what? Why?" kiba asked
"because there will be so many important people from all over the countries and they have so little and so valuable time, we will have to cut down the numbers by half
anyone who wants to quit now, please raise your hands"
naruto stared at kabuto and kabuto stared back
"I quit" and kabuto left without saying another word…he smirked instead !
"okay…now lets begin" he pointed at a board and the board started showing names and randomizing them
the name stopped on sasuke's and another nin from grass' name
"will the two contestants step forward?" genma the exam proctor asked
"the rest may go up and watch the battle from there"
the rest walked up the sides and watched the battle unfold
CANON…WELL…ALMOST ALL BATTLES
No matter how much rock lee tried to win, gaara won the battle
neji beat hinata mercilessly to a pulp and naruto whispered in his ear that the bet is still on and they both smirked…for their own reasons!
kiba and chouji were up against each other and as a draw, the both lost
same went for ino and sakura
shikamaru forfeited his battle with naruto when naruto took his katana out
sasuke won the first round but died…just kidding, fell unconscious due to chakra exhaustion and as always, the Cyclops helped him out
tenten almost won the battle with temari but lost as her beloved kodachi broke as it hit her fan
shino and kankuro beat kabuto's teammates fairly easily
"will neji,naruto,gaara,temari,kankuro and shino please pick a card?
since sasuke is not here, his card will be the last one out"
everyone proceeded to take a card
"now call out your names and I'll tell you what's what"
"one" naruto said
"two" neji
"three" kankuro
"five" temari
"six"shino
"seven" gaara
"and since sasuke is four…" anko scribbled on a board and showed the match-ups
naruto vs neji off the bat
kankuro vs sasuke
temari vs shino and the winner goes against gaara
"that is all
you have one month until the finals everyone
may the strongest village prevail"
"YEAAAaahh okay" naruto piped down when he noticed he's the only one excited
"naruto…" sarutobi muttered and rubbed his eyes
"okay everyone, go train or something" anko said and scattered the survivors
"shiznet…so temari" he looked her up and down and licked his lips
"hungry?" he said and looked at her like she was meat
"sorry but i'm taken"
"by?"
"...gaara"
naruto just stared at her
"I like the way you joke…now come!" he carried her bridal style and disappeared
gaara and kankuro watched the scene unfold and gaara's sand started moving around
"mother wants your blood…"
"so will kankuro if you hurt temari…"
"….mother is creeped out by the way kankuro tries to act cool…" gaara put a sand barrier between them and walked off
ON THE ROOF OF SOME RANDOM BUILDING IN KONOHA
"c'mon"
"no"
"please"
"I said no"
naruto was begging temari to join konoha and be his forever but she refused
"okay fine…I know you're going through puberty right now so I'll give you time till I'm eighteen"
"whatever" she got up and was going to jump away when she noticed naruto drooling
'hmph…this should shut you up'
she jumped off and with every jump on each roof, her butt jiggled a little and naruto's mind went haywire
'I can't WAIT till I'm eighteen'
'same here…we'll spank it and ride it so hard, instead of small jiggles, she wouldn't even be able to wear a spandex' kyuubi snickered and wiped his drool
'anywho…'
he turned around
"there's no chance in hell you'll train me so what do you want mothafucka?"
"hel-"
"I SAID FUCKING NO ALREADY" naruto pointed a charged kunai at his sensei's throat and he stepped back
"please naruto, he's your teammate
he won't be able to go against someone like gaara and only with a month's training"
"heh" naruto chuckled and re-sealed his kunai into his wrist-band
"he should be scared shitless of one person in this tournament and that's me" he turned on his heel and disappeared
WEAPON SHOP
Tenten's dad was sitting behind the counter and bowed as usual when naruto entered
"hey father-in-law
is tenten okay?"
"yes…she's…well…she's in her room"
"okay thanks
by the way…can you make me about…say…thirty three pronged kunai like my dad's?" he said with a grin
"it'll be my pleasure namikaze-sama"
"please" he put his hand on the elder man's shoulder and gave him a bright smile
"call me son"
'you know…if I were you right now I'd take my hand off cuzz he looks like he'll masturbate to it if you keep it there'
'shit…why are there so many gay points appearing in this harem story?' naruto thought and stared at the author sitting behind the camera
author just waved it away and gave naruto a thumb up
naruto believes in the author and continues the story
TENTEN'S ROOM
Tenten was lying on the bed and the stains on the pillow showed she was crying
she was in her white pajamas, the shirt was long sleeved and fluffy while the pants reached to her knee
as she was sobbing to herself, naruto kissed the back of her head
"I'm okay dad…sniff"
naruto kissed her neck this time and she now had a good guess who it was
"..sniff…naruto-kun?"
naruto held back a facepalm
"…no I'm neji wearing lee's green spandex"
she giggled a little and turned on her bed and hugged naruto hard
"you always brighten my mood naruto-kun…"
'you always tighten my pants too dear…wait…did that almost rhyme with tighten and brighten!?'
"it makes me happy to know that ten-chan…but why were you crying?"
she let go of the hug and sat back
"…your sword.."
naruto put his hand in his pants (author facepalms at the awkward rhyme)
"my sword seems to be fine"
"I meant your kodachi you baka" she poked his forehead
"oh that…well…if you wait long enough…say…a month…I'll give you something even better and it won't break either"
"really?" her face brightened and hugged naruto again
"thanks naruto-kun"
"aww come here" naruto kissed tenten's cheek and cuddled him
"have to go training now but…see you soon…in a month…with my gift" naruto kissed her on the cheek everyime he parted a sentence
"okay…make sure you kill that bitch for breaking it okay?"
'oh boy…I believe someone's jiggly ass is going to have a fight with the firmer one'
"see ya" and naruto shunshinned
'wait….you fucking named them without consulting me?...
...thanks man!
saved me a lot of trouble
hurts like an ass to think'
'I know my soulmate
oh and here is the list' kyuubi turns to the harem fans
'tenten is the frim one since she works out a lot
temari's ass is jiggly…proof can be seen in the story
ino's ass is soft since she seems to take much care of her body
haku's ass is the-'
'wait wait wait
isn't haku kinda…err…boy-ish'
'let me finish mothafucka
her ass is the mother-virgin'
naruto falls on his knees with his mouth wide open and stares at the shining kyuubi
'mother of god…'
'see?
ayame's ass is the delicious one
and last but not least hinata's ass is…the ferocious one'
'okay…kinda strange but we shall believe in the kyuubi'
'….get to training already'
'fine…'
NARUTO'S TRAINING FIELD
"took ya long enough brat"
"heh…long time no see old man"
Finito
Consider this story discontinued for another six months till I finish college exams…just kidding
I'll try to find some time...probably wednesdays...hmm...yep once a week
Chao's