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Chapter 5

Want to fly away?

"Jane!"

The name tore from her throat as she sat up with a gasp, eyelids fluttering against the burning sensation of too-dried eyes. It took a while for her vision to clear and for the room to stop swaying. The unmistakable antiseptic scent of medicine struck her sensitive senses and was quick to bring her back into reality. The dramatic change in scenery from the battlefield to a seemingly innocent clinic made her feel very uneasy. Where was she?

All of a sudden her body jerked back in pain, her entire right side on fire. The suddenness of it made it feel worse than it ever did before. She moaned in agony, body trembling as she doubled over, left hand clenching her waist.

And then, just as quickly as it came, the pain disappeared. I knew I was missing something. She thought to herself as she panted heavily, wondering what the hell just happened.

"I see you're awake." She shifted her gaze to see a woman about early-thirties with dark brown hair enter the room. The stranger- obviously a doctor from her garb, frowned at her trembling body and placed a gentle hand on her sweat-covered back. "That episode was very… unexpected. How do you feel now?"

Sky swallowed with great difficulty; there was no lingering pain. In fact, her body felt perfectly fine and functional. She couldn't understand it. "I feel better. Much better."

The woman nodded, walking towards the monitor by her bed. "Perhaps that is just a one off episode – the aftermath of the surgery. Let me know if it happens again."

"…Surgery?"

"Your wound was highly infected when we found you." She answered. "If it had been addressed within the first few days of the injury it would have been fine. Unfortunately, by the time you got here even medi-gel was not sufficient enough to heal it. Surgery was required. Don't worry though, it was quick and successful. We even fixed your fractured shoulder at the same time."

"You will find that you have significant… scarring. Those can be removed with cosmetic surgery quite easily should you want to. We don't have that sort of equipment on board, but the Citadel would."

Sky forced her breathing to ease, and then cleared her throat. She hadn't even the time to think about her appearance. Shifting her mind onto more important matters, "Where… Where am I?" At least she's human. So it is likely that we were rescued. She studied the older woman carefully, trying to discern her intentions. She had an air of elegance around her: not the arrogant, aristocratic sort, but definitely somewhere along the lines of the 'old-wise-woman'. Actually, upon closer inspection, her features were quite familiar…

"I'm Dr Chakwas and you are currently aboard the SSV Hastings." Then it hit her. She was- or will be, the doctor from the original Normandy ship! Damn, these past-present-future things are going to confuse me. Still… she never thought that Chakwas would be a brunette; or perhaps she still had colored hair in ME1, but for the life of her she could not remember. Mass Effect 1 was such a long time ago. "You were actually quite lucky." She continued in a gentle tone, not noticing the little internal battle that was going on in her patient. "I was spared with the details of the fight but both you and your friend here," She gestured to another bed at the other side of the room. "were in quite a bad state when you came to me."

Sky's eyes landed on the cot next to hers and stared at the sprawled figurine with blond hair. Noticing that her uneven breathing and the deep frown on her face, as though disturbed by bad dreams.

The events prior to waking up hit her like a ton of bricks. She felt the need to throw up again as the memories flashed uncontrollably before her eyes: trying to deal with her steadily worsening wound with little medical facilities, fighting for her life, killing other living beings, watching as yellow-green liquid pour out of wherever her bullets struck, but worst of all, Owen's disfigured corpse. She could still see it as clear as day, could still smell the metallic tang of his splattered blood and his burnt flesh. Guilt crashed into her, knowing that Owen took the hit that would have killed her should he had not pushed her out of the way.

Survivor's guilt: a mental condition that occurs when a person perceives himself or herself to have done wrong by surviving a traumatic event when others did not. She listed out the definition in her head, word for word. Thinking about it carefully, she knew there was nothing she could have done to save him. How could she have known, with her little fighting experience, what was going to happen? But that did not rid the bitter taste from her mouth.

He could have saved himself. Instead, he chose to save you.

It burnt. The sound of Jane's uncontrollable sobbing and agony left a scar more prominent than any physical wound. Knowing that she was the cause of so much pain, knowing that if she hadn't been there, if she had left or just let him kill her beforehand, it would be him, sitting on this medical bed, with Jane. They would have been so much better off without her.

She buried her face in her hands, trying to stem the tears that were threatening to flow. But the guilt, it gnawed at her chest, eating her from inside out and poured liquid fire down her veins. It was a whole new level of agony.

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The doctor remained quiet, watching her small patient silently as the emotions played through her face before she doubled over in pain, a different sort of pain this time, one that she knew no amount of medicine could cure. She had read the reports of what they found: two unconscious girls, over twenty batarians that were brutally ripped apart, and one very unlucky human man. It did not take the ground team long enough to piece together what happened, especially since the blonde haired girl was still letting off biotic impulses, despite having passed out. Looking at the reaction of the teenager before her, it only confirmed her suspicions. She did not know the exact details, and she probably never would, but she had a feeling these two young girls would be scarred by them forever.

Sighing she walked over to the other teenager, the blonde one, and checked the monitors. Her REM scans were showing disturbing results and her heart rate and blood pressure were alleviated- signs of psychological trauma. Not surprising considering the fact that they had just came from a decimated colony that was destroyed by slavers. Both children probably lost all that they ever had, orphaned by the cruelest of circumstances.

The brunette shook her head. Despite being a doctor for so long the barbarism of war never ceased to surprise her. Through her career she had seen all forms of physiological, psychological, biological and chemical wounds. You would think that picking up two teenage girls amongst corpses would be just another day.

Perhaps that was the sad thing; Chakwas sighed again.

It was.

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She stared at her reflection in the full-size mirror before her, flexing and tensing various muscles, trying to get used to this body that felt so much unlike her own. She had the same boring dark brown hair that tumbled down to end just below her shoulders, the same boring dark brown eyes. But to her there was a world of difference. A new faint, but noticeable scar traced along the bridge of her nose, around an inch long. A burn mark around the size of her palm splashed across the back of her neck, halting just below her right ear. But amongst the little bruises, scars and marks that littered her skin the worse of all was what used to be her side wound. A large, ugly mess stretched across her waist; it looked like a tentacled monster had grown out of her side and sunk into her meat, merged with her forever. Streaks of webbed skin spanned from the wound to her stomach and mid-back. It was horrendous looking and she could not help but feel slightly faint at the sight of it.

Sky was never terribly vain, but as a teenage girl, she held a certain amount of pride in her looks. All that was dashed now, crumbled to the ground together with whatever admiration she once had for her fair, spotless skin. She looked away, unsure how to handle this change and took a moment to gather herself together. After all, what was beauty in the face of death?

But it hurt; it hurt to know that she wasn't the same girl she was a week ago. Not just in appearance but in mind. She thought of how her circumstance had pushed her to do things she could not have done before. It used to be hard for her to kill a bug, not to mention another intelligent lifeform, whose cries of death still lingered in her ears. She returned her gaze to the mirror, staring into her own darkening eyes. Who was she now?

She had seen more in the past week than she ever had in her entire life. To experience the death of a comrade, to see the cruelties of the world firsthand; it left a crater in her soul that she did not know how to fill.

She was ultimately, and utterly lost.

Not to mention, why was she here? What brought her to this place? The recent events had cut short all her hopes of returning home. Maybe it was time to accept that this is now her reality…? Could it be possible that she was stuck here forever?

She briefly wondered about home. What was going on back there? Was time at a standstill, like one of those time travaler movies? Or would her parents walk into her room, only to find her missing? What would they think? Knowing them, they would worry so much, struggle for weeks and weeks to find her, only to be disappointed. And then there was her boyfriend, what would be going through his mind? They have only been together for such a short time, two and a half months in fact, perhaps it was something she should be grateful for, perhaps that would make it easier for him to move on and forget about her… She ignored the pang of hurt and jealousy that coursed through her at that thought.

So many questions and no answers to be found, anywhere. She shook her head, clearing away the doubts and troubles. Well, she was here now, and Lord knows how or why but she was here for a reason. She had no choice but to carry on with her life, to the best of her abilities.

On the bright side, she could see that the past week of constant edge-of-death exercises had toned up muscles in areas that she didn't even knew had muscles. She was never a large girl, in fact, it was difficult to even think of a person skinnier than she was, and although that hint of fragility could be still seen in her very lean shape, she no longer looked like she would break into half when a certain amount of pressure was applied. She was proud of that. She ran her fingers across the inked words that labeled her left rib and the calligraphied dove on her right hip. Before, they had looked almost foreign on her unmarred skin, but seemed to match better now that she looked more like a bad-ass and less of a little girl.

At least one good thing came out of this crazy, nonsensical adventure.

And then there was the issue with her eyes. Although virtually every part of her body had stayed more or less the same during the transition from her world and this one, her eyes had somehow miraculously gained perfect 20-20 vision. While fighting for her life it never occurred to her, but now that the calm has taken over it struck her as extremely weird that she could see without her glasses or contact lenses on. Perhaps her contacts fused with her eyes when she got here…? Standing back, she shrugged. One more thing to add to the growing list of "Things I Don't Understand and Probably Never Will".

The swish sounds of the metal auto doors opening startled her. She was still on edge, having woken up a little more than four hours ago, and every little sound brought her hand to her hip, only to realize that she no longer had her weapon.

"Woah easy there." The stranger said, her hands coming up in, showing her that she was not armed.

Sky inhaled deeply, before relaxing her posture. "Sorry about that." She muttered.

The other girl, or woman she should say for she looked to be around 25, just shook her head, a look of understanding crossing her face as she placed a black duffel bag to the side of the bathroom. "It's fine. We all get jumpy sometimes after missions too. Hard to separate the battlefield from real life you know?" The sound of her clear, friendly voice relaxed her slightly. "My name is Jazz. Spelt Y-A-Z though. You're one of the girls they picked up from Mindoir aren't you? Tough stuff." She wrinkled her nose in disgust without waiting for a reply. "Those slavers deserve to go to hell."

Sky wasn't sure what to make of her open attitude. After being around the somewhat stoic Shepards, this girl was a breath of fresh air. It was nice to hear someone talk to her without assuming she was either a threat or a liability. "My name is Sky."

The girl brightened up at her introduction, clearly glad that her words did not frighten her. She tucked a strand of vibrant red hair behind her ears sheepishly, "It's nice to meet you Sky. Sorry if I come off a little much, I tend to talk too much."

Sky shook her head, smiling for the first time in a long time at her unreserved character. "It's fine. I'm that way too." Or at least… I used to be.

The redhead grinned, "I'm glad you understand then. But anyway, I came here to pass you this." She gestured to the bag on the floor. "It has some clothes in it, probably a little big for you though since they are mine." She tilted her head, examining the Asian girl's smaller stature. Sky resisted the urge to flinch, hating the way she was now so damn insecure about her body, but the other girl didn't seem to notice. "Still, they will fit fine." She chirped up. "Oh, and I am supposed to tell you that the Captain wishes to see you on the Med Bay after you're done here."

Sky nodded, "thanks." But as much as she appreciated Yaz's kindness, her buzz of energy was starting to give her a headache. Plus, Captain did she say? She supposed it was normal for a Captain to visit their newest passengers. She wanted to be alone to get her head straight and story right before she met him, or her.

"You're welcomed." Replied the bubbly girl, before she turned to leave. "I'll see you around then!" And with that, the metal doors swished shut.

Sky let out a sigh of relief, before walking carefully to the duffel bag and pulled out the first few things she saw. Yaz was right, her clothing were loose on her, but stayed on all the same. Glancing hopelessly at her reflection one more time she took in her disheveled, messy appearance. At least I got to take a shower. An hour-long as well.

Closing her eyes she steeled her resolve. She was going to need to get everything right, from tonal variations to her body language if she was going to fool the Captain and whoever else would be there. Shouldn't be too difficult, seeing as she was already riding on waves of emotions.

The best lies stem from truth after all.

With that, she zipped up the bag and hooked it on her uninjured shoulder, and left the room.

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More inner reflections and less action this chapter. Still, I hope you enjoyed it all the same.

Longest chapter so far. Phew.

I have decided on my character pairings (at least for ME1). I am so so so excited to begin. You original Vertigo readers may have noticed I've changed a little bit of the scene slightly, deeming the older on as less realistic. But anyway, the excitement on getting started on the pairings is killing me! Although bear with me, those are only coming in the later chapters.

We we we so excited.

Again, very happy to hear all your thoughts on this story, whatever they may be. Thank you Rosiegirl52, Nanobot5770, Helljumper 1337 and Liege Lord for reviewing and giving very useful comments. =] And everyone else for reading and subscribing of course.

Much love,

Fee

xx

ps. Have you noticed I've changed the summary, do you like this one better? And the chapter titles as well? Most of them are song names actually, random ones I've picked up from google, but I feel like they're fitting all the same. This one's from Rabbit in the Moon - Out of Body Experience if you're wondering. Don't actually know what it sounds like but the title seems to fit. In my head at least.

pps. OMG ME3 SO VERY SOON. I've watched the demo on youtube. Shyte Ashley Williams looked HOT. I'm quite literally jumping up and down in glee and anticipation.

ppps. Oh and also, I don't know if I'll be updating very regularly or quickly in the next two weeks, seeing as mocks are here. But we'll see how that goes alright?

Hope to see you again in the next chapter!