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Chapter 12

Strength of the Heart

Flashback: Year 2170

"I must say, this place has quite the view."

Sky nodded absent-mindedly as she watched the visiting doctor sit down on the sofa across her, clearly more interested in the real reason behind the brunette's visit.

She had received a message from Dr Chakwas yesterday, telling her that she finally came to a conclusion about her side wound's strange reaction. The teenager was quick to invite the doctor over, curious to know what she knew. She had yet to suffer another episode, which she was extremely grateful for since the pain was certainly no walk in the park, but it was still too early to tell, having left the Hastings for only three weeks. She stared expectantly at Chakwas, waiting for her to finally start speaking.

The good doctor spread the file that she was carrying on the coffee table before her, "I took the liberty of using these past few week of shore leave to do further research into your scar. I cannot be a hundred percent certain, but I do believe that my theory holds some substance." Sky nodded, urging her to go on. "I am also not sure how this is physically possible, but even the asari have very limited knowledge in how Element Zero works so I didn't have much to back me up on."

"Element Zero?" The dark-haired girl questioned. "The substance that caused biotic powers?" What did that have to do with her?

The doctor nodded. "I believe you have had some exposure to some contaminated eezo, or more specifically, the drug, red sand. It is of an extremely minute amount, enough to infect your wound, but not enough to give you either biotic powers or cancer."

Sky could not have looked any more incredulous as she did at that moment. She racked her brain, trying to remember if she could recall any event where the residents of Mindoir were caught smuggling or trading the drug, but her efforts were to no avail. Her memory of the events of Mass Effect 1 was hazy enough as it is. "So… What does that do to me?"

"Again, this is just my theory. It occurred to me that your wound acted up when you came into skin contact with Shepard, who at that time was very biotically charged. But I did some experiments with your tissue sample and found that your muscle cells would undergo accelerated degeneration whenever exposed to mass effect fields." The teenager just stared. "However it seems like your cells only suffer when in direct contact with the fields."

She was rendered speechless. She was… allergic to biotics? That was certainly a new concept. Not to mention it would complicate things. When she finally found her voice she asked "So… I could… die? If I were to touch by someone's biotics?"

Chakwas shook her head. "Thankfully, no. It is not as simple as that. Firstly, although the muscle degeneration occurs at an accelerated rate, it is not enough to kill you or affect your ability to move. It is at a rate where the turnover is exactly equal; you will, however feel the pain and perhaps be slightly weakened, but it would not cripple you."

"Wait wait wait. So you're telling me that I'm going to have to go through that-" She swept a hand across her side "-excruciating pain every time someone who has a biotic barrier touches me?" This Universe certainly loved her.

The doctor nodded slowly. "I'm afraid so."

"Would surgery work? Removing all the contaminated cells?"

"No… Unfortunately too much time has passed, the affected cells have spread too far to be removed safely."

Sky buried her face into her hands, trying to control her breathing and pounding heart. She had been trying to stay strong, stay positive all this while. Taken away from her home, her family, suffering through so many near-death experiences, losing Owen, seeing so much death, coming to this strange, terrifying new world. And after all that, this has to happen? How could she survive in this place if she had to go through that pain again? How could she survive the battlefield, or anywhere in fact, if she would crash to the ground in agony every time someone threw a singularity her way? Why did the fate hate her so?

"But I think there might be a way to overcome this… An uncertain, and very painful procedure." She waved her hand at the doctor to continue. She knew it was rude, but she was putting all her efforts into avoid falling into despair. "It seems that intense exposure to biotics will increase the resistance of your cells."

"Intense…?"

The older woman nodded once again. "Yes. Much like 'training' the cells to become immune to a disease. After subjecting your tissue to strong mass effect fields over a long period of time the rate of degeneration decreased. I believe that this same method could be done to your actual muscles. It would not cure you, but it would lessen the virus' effects on you."

It was as though her brain was receiving an information overload. She took a deep breath, pushing away her anxiety for another time, choosing to focus on the problem at hand. She was beginning to get very good at that, with all the practice that she had been receiving. Looking up, she took the file from the table and flipped through the doctor's notes. Most were medical gibberish, but her strong science background enabled her to understand the general gist of it. "So it would be like desensitization of the cells…"

"Yes. But it will be painful, more than it was to receive that wound. And again, I am not 100% certain that this will work. Throughout my entire medical career I have never come across something like this. But in theory and the experiments I have conducted, it might."

Pain. Pain seemed to be a large part of her life recently. Pain in her muscles, in her wounds, in her mind, in her heart. Could she really do this? Of course she wanted to try because anything would be better than having the agony jump at her at the worst moment.

It was not like she had a choice. She had briefly entertained the thought of opting out of following Jane to the end of the Universe... But how long would that last? The Reapers were coming whether she liked it or not. Would she find a way home before then? Did she even want to?

"Take your time to think about this. You can reach me via my Alliance account if you have further questions."

Sky nodded and walked the older woman to the door. "Thank you Doctor."

Chakwas just sighed, "I wished there was more I could do for you Sky. I'll try to find alternate treatments in the meantime."

She nodded her goodbye, before returning into the apartment and heading towards her bedroom. Jane wouldn't be home for another couple of hours. That would give her enough time to think.

Turning off the lights and crawling into her small bed, the teenager wrapped her blanket around herself before rolling into a tight ball, suddenly feeling very small and very vulnerable to the world.

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She stubbornly refused to allow the collecting tears to fall as she clamped her jaw down, resisting all urges to scream. Instead, she chose to focus on taking deep, even breaths, trying to draw away all her attention from the burning pain that engulfed her entire body.

It was a feeling that she struggled to describe. There was no one sole place where the pain came from. As the doctor had predicted so many years before, her unique 'virus' had spread to affect every single cell in her body, infecting her very DNA. But it was intense, and would be traumatic if she had not been going through this exact same process over the past 5 years.

At first her 'sessions' took place once a month, and the pain now was nothing in comparison to how it was then. She remembered screaming, crying and writhing in pain until even the doctor had to stop due to fear of seriously hurting the girl. But she made her continue. With the thought of the ones who had died, and will die in the future on the forefront of her mind, she made the doctor promise to not let go of that torturous button until the time was up.

Eventually, after six long, hard sessions their efforts gave them some results. She was beginning to feel the pain a little less. Against Chakwas' protests she asked for them to meet more frequently, eventually reaching a peak of visiting the hospital once a week. But that was almost three years ago, and she has improved vastly. Now she only needed these sessions once every four months, to desensitize the newer cells.

The doctor brought the machine to a stop and ran forward to catch her patient's trembling body before she crashed to the ground, mass effect field no longer holding her weight. She did a quick check over Sky's body, making sure everything is fully functional, before assisting her gently on a cot at the corner of the room.

"Thanks doc." The weakened woman rasped as she took the bottle of energy drink that the brunette handed her. Her doctor was one of Canadian ancestry if Sky wasn't mistaken. She knew that she had graduated from some prestigious university in Vancouver that, for the life of her, she couldn't remember the name of. The pretty, pale-skinned woman shot her a small, comforting smile.

"How would you rate that session out of 10?"

Sky set the bottle down on the table next to the bed and flexed her various muscles that had been screaming in agony just minutes before. At the beginning the sudden appearance and loss of such pain disorientated her. But she had grown quite accustomed to the sensation. Either way, she was always relieved whenever they turned off the damn machine. "I'd give that a 5."

The doctor frowned, "that's strange. You were at a 3 four months ago."

The dark-haired woman sighed, and shook her head slowly. "Yeah… Distracted I suppose." Normally, she would have the ability to block out the pain better, focus on other things, but she seemed to have lost that ability over the course of the past week.

"Oh…" The young doctor reached over and squeezed her hand gently. "Are you okay?"

She turned her gaze from the white-tiled floors to the woman beside her and offered her a shaky smile in return. "I think so." She sighed as she shuffled off the bed slowly. "I just wish there was something I could do you know? But I suppose that's why I'm here."

"You know you don't have to go through all this…" The brunette waved her hand at their surroundings and Sky's eyes followed her gesture. She had to admit, if anyone were to walk in at that very moment, it would seem as though they were conducting some sort of illegal experiment.

They were currently within a medical facility located in the Tayseri ward itself, only a couple of miles away from Sky's workplace. It wasn't as grand as the hospitals on the Presidium, but it was large enough to cater to the many inhabitants within the ward.

Dr Chakwas had made this special arrangement for her, and placed her under the care of her close and trusted friend, Dr Samantha Robertson. The room was actually quite bare, tucked deep beneath the hospital where few roamed. The main bulk of the small room was taken up by a simple barrier generator, 'borrowed' from the Alliance that was supposed to erect a protective mass effect field around the user, which in her case acted more as a torture device than a shield. Still, it worked as required so she didn't have much cause to complain.

The Chinese female shook her head, "But I do…" She walked towards the barrier machine. Oh how much she hated that stupid generator. But instead of following through with her wish to destroy that offending tech, she ran a gentle hand over the simple controls. "I need to do this because it's the only thing I can do."

Dr Robertson did not shift from her position but followed her movement all the same. "You're doing so much for the Citadel. Working with the people you do. Not many people would be willing to do that. I don't see why you have to-",

"We've talked about this a hundred times Doc. Nothing you say is going to change my mind." Not with the end of the Galaxy looming over us. "While people like Shepard are out there fighting for our lives… I just feel like I need to do more." Her head hurt, her eyes still stung from the effort of holding back the tears from before. Although she no longer felt pain, these sessions had the remarkable ability of drawing away all her strength. But if she were stronger, people wouldn't have to suffer as much. Not the way they did on Mindoir, or on Elysium.

"We've made good progress Sky. With this kind of improvement, in a couple of years, you should feel nothing but a tickle every time you get hit by a biotic… But you need to stop pushing yourself so hard."

"I can't- I need to get-"

"Sky." The usually soft voice of the brunette steeled over with the overpowering force of an authoritative figure. "You have done nothing but push yourself to the limit ever since I've met you. Don't think I don't know what you do during those crazy training sessions of yours." She sighed and walked over to her patient, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Yes, I get that you can't stand seeing people die, that you can't stand seeing people suffer. But you can't save everyone. You just have to do what you can. If you keep insisting on easing everyone's pain, you will end up killing yourself trying."

"But-"

"I'm a doctor Sky. I've seen more people die under my watch than probably anyone outside of the Alliance. I understand that need to stop the suffering. But we cannot possibly save everyone. We are not God." The doctor gripped her shoulders tightly, staring deep into her eyes, trying to will her to understand. "Don't be too hard on yourself. Please."

The black-haired girl took a small step backwards. She wasn't stupid, of course she knew she wouldn't be able to save everyone… But she wanted to. She brought her mind back to the countless dead on Mindoir, to Owen, to the people on Elysium that she was sure was suffering at this very moment. She would do anything, anything to help them, to bring them back, to see the children smile and play and laugh. But what could she do about it?

Where on earth did she get this hero complex from?

Groaning, Sky rubbed her eyes wearily. She needed some serious down time to sort out her thoughts. First the mystery man, then the news on Elysium, Rahan, and now this. She has had more drama the past five days than she has had in her entire lifetime.

The beeping of her omni-tool drew her out of her reverie. She reluctantly opened her new message, almost dreading the undoubtedly bad news it would give her. It was another from Anderson.

'The situation is under control, the Blitz is officially over. You wouldn't believe what Shepard was able to accomplish. But she's safe and with the Alliance. Injure badly, but safe. She single handedly held things down there. We're suspecting a Star of Terra for her work. Either way, we're heading to the Arcturus station. She'll probably contact you after she's healed. – Anderson.'

Relief crashed down onto her like a bucket of hot water. Thank you God.

Smiling softly at Dr Robertson she finally responded. "Thank you for looking out for me doc."

The shorter woman nodded as she began to tidy up the place, "That's what I'm here for. I'll see you in a couple of months' time?"

"Will do."

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Quite a short chapter this time. I realized my previous one was more than 5K words! Insane. I never even knew I was capable of writing so much. Then again, there was too much to elaborate on.

I used this opportunity to explain a little more on Sky's 'condition', if you recall her strange scar from before. I thought this would be a good place to inform the audience on what was wrong with her. Let me know what you think.

I think this process of going through so much physical pain is important to Sky's character development. Mainly because it would explain her character. But pain is not something someone can handle, unless they are incredibly strong. Again, something I want to emphasize about Sky. Not her physical strength, but her ability to hold on. I think this would make her a great partner for Shepard as well.

Anyway, do let me know what you think. Whether this fits or not. I fixed some discrepancies with the previous chapters that my amazing reviewers have brought to light. Special thanks to greed11 for giving me amazing pointers.

But of course, Death-Dimension, Helljumper 1337, S058 and Nanobot5770 as well for reviewing. =]

Yes, I chose a different career path because I was thinking. This is a self insert and I couldn't imagine myself working for the police. I'm more likely to work in as a Forensic Psychologist anyway. Hahaha. So yeah. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. Do let me know what you think!

Also, I just finished ME3 last night. I need to rant so...

-[[ SPOILERS SPOILERS FOR MASS EFFECT 3 AHEAD. DON'T READ IF YOU HAVE NO FINISHED THE GAME. ]]-

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I am SO annoyed at the ending. I mean, it is rather fitting, and I would be okay with it if this were just another story. Except they made us play through ME1 and ME2 and THEN 3 and THEN just to do what they did? I feel like all that hard work was for nothing. ASDFGHJKL. Sigh. Let me know what you think as well and maybe we can PM about it. I've got no one to talk about it to because no one has finished it yet. Sigh.

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-[[ SPOILERS END ]]-

Anyway, I hope to hear from you lot. And stay tuned for more!