Time passes. At Maria and Kurt's insistence, Blaine starts seeing a therapist twice a week. He finds, to his surprise that it actually helps a lot. Kurt sits in on a couple of sessions, as does his mom and Blaine discovers that the nightmares gradually become less frequent. He returns to school, and finds that the mothering from the Glee club, particularly Rachel and Puck, becomes almost unbearable. He has a small meltdown during one practice, but Kurt encourages him to gently explain to people that he is still the same person, and would really like to enjoy the rest of his senior year. He also explains to Puck that it's not necessary to follow him to the bathroom, and neither does he need help in the lunch line.
Blaine feels better about most things, but two big worries still remain. His audition for Julliard is two weeks away. He still has to wear his cast for another week, meaning he can't play the piano. He tried to convince Burt to cut it off with a saw in his garage, but the earful he got for suggesting it, and the disapproving looks from Carole and Kurt when they found out, wasn't worth it. Kurt suggests calling and asking to change the date, but Blaine is insistent he will make it. The audition is in New York, the day after his eighteenth birthday and the day before Valentine's day. He's excited and nervous at the same time, but welcomes the distraction from the impending trial of Richard, scheduled to start the week after.
His other problem though, is Kurt. Well, not Kurt himself, more the state of their relationship. Kurt has stayed over twice more since that night, happy to be there to provide reassurance and a strong pair of arms for Blaine to sleep in. He follows Blaine and Rachel home everyday after school, and grades papers at Blaine's desk while he sits on his bed completing his homework. Invariably, Kurt ends up staying for dinner, or driving them both to the Hummel's if Maria is working late. They sit together on the couch, or Blaine's bed, watching movies or listening to music, talking about the days events and arguing over which musical has the better score- but that's it.
Kurt kisses him chastely, never deepening it, and pulling back as if burned whenever Blaine tries to use his tongue. He wordlessly places Blaine's wandering hands back in his own lap when they're watching tv, and actually patted him on the head then left the room when in sheer desperation, Blaine tried rutting against his leg.
"I don't think he wants me anymore Rach." Blaine moans to his best friend over coffee one Saturday.
"Has he said that?"
"He doesn't have to. He actually recoils when I touch him. I don't get it. I don't get what I've done. We've gone from doing it whenever and wherever to nothing."
"Okay, how are things otherwise? I mean besides the sex."
"Great. He's sweet, attentive, loving, exactly as he's always been. Maybe even more so."
"So he still loves you."
"Yes. I don't doubt that, I just wonder whether...the fight, y'know, I wonder if that made him look at me differently."
"Like how?"
"Like less of an equal and more of a child."
"Is that what you think?" Rachel asks, covering his hand with hers.
"I don't know. Maybe. That night changed the whole dynamic of our relationship. He had to bathe me, help me in and out of the bathroom, help me dress, everything. And then that night...when my mom had to call him?"
"Yes?"
"It wasn't pretty. I know I was like a baby."
"No Blaine, you weren't. You had delayed shock. It was to be expected after everything you..."
"I know. But Kurt saw me at my lowest point. I was vulnerable, frightened and afraid. He had to pick me up and put me back together again. And now I think he just sees me as a sweet boy. I don't think he's sexually attracted to me at all."
"Or you could look at it another way." Rachel points out.
"Oh?"
"Which is that he is still very much sexually attracted to you, he's just frightened of hurting you, emotionally or physically, after everything you've been through. You know what you were doing before you went to the drugstore that night...he might be worried that getting...erm...heated...will bring back unpleasant memories."
"But he won't even take me to his apartment. And I can't drive so I can't even turn up unexpectedly."
"What will you do if you go there?"
"Jump him." Blaine answers without a moments hesitation.
"You are dumb sometimes. If you'd said you just wanted to talk to him I might have offered to drop you there. Now I'm taking you home." She says primly as she stands.
"Aw Rach...please?"
"No."
He continues to cajole her all the way to the car, until Rachel exasperatedly turns the car towards Kurt's apartment and drops him off gladly, happy to be free of his whining.
"You owe me, Blaine Anderson." She retorts as she pulls to a stop. "You WILL be singing 'It Takes Two' with me for regionals, whether you like it or not."
"Oh God no. Please, Rach."
"I'll inform Kurt on Monday." She says with a smile, and blowing him a kiss, drives happily away.
The sound of voices reaches Blaine's ears as he unlocks the door to Kurt's apartment. Familiar voices. He kicks his shoes off quietly and walks into the living room.
"Mom?" he asks, causing Kurt and Maria to startle and turn to him with rather guilty looks on their faces.
"Blaine sweetheart, what are you doing here?" Blaine narrows his eyes suspiciously at the high pitched tone of his mom's voice.
"Uh, no. I think the question is, what are you doing here?"
"I...um...I was just having coffee with Kurt," she answers, glancing nervously between the two.
"Why?"
"Because I asked her." Kurt says softly.
Blaine pinches the bridge of his nose. It's becoming quite apparent that for whatever reason, his mom and boyfriend are talking about him behind his back. "Oh for fu..." he starts, then reins in his language. "Why did you ask her? What for? Have I done something?"
"No, no. It's nothing like that." Kurt says, moving to try and put his arm around Blaine, but he is tense, unmoving.
"Then what?"
"I don't want to say."
"I'm just going to go..." Maria says, standing. "I'll leave you boys to it. It was nice to see you Kurt, thanks for the coffee." She kisses Blaine's cheek quickly before Kurt sees her to the door.
"You're supposed to be my boyfriend, not my dad." Blaine snaps as Kurt returns to the living room.
"What? I am. And don't give me that attitude," Kurt bites back as he sits on the couch. "You were downright rude. What are you doing here anyway? I told you I would pick you up later, we're supposed to be going to Finn's for carryout."
"I know that, but in case you haven't noticed we're never alone together anymore. I used to practically live here, but you haven't let me set foot in the place since New Years Eve."
"It's not that I won't let you, Blaine," Kurt says, his tone softening, "It's just...I didn't want it to be too much for you."
"But it's not." Blaine says, kneeling on the floor in front of Kurt and taking his hands. "Don't you get it? I want to be here, alone with you. I love our families and friends, yes. But it's you who I'm in love with, and being on our own is the best time of all."
"I love you." Kurt smiles down at him.
"Do I get a kiss then?" Blaine says, hating that he has to ask, hating the worry he immediately sees in Kurt's eyes.
"Um..yeah." He leans forward and tentatively and presses his lips against Blaine's, yelling in surprise when Blaine uses his good arm to pull Kurt off the couch and on top of him. Flipping them over so he's on top, Blaine hungrily kisses Kurt as best he can, ignoring the balled fists trying to push him off.
"Jesus Blaine...mmmm...what're you...Oh God! What are you doing...fuck. Your ribs, Blaine."
"Don' care," comes the muffled response as Blaine buries his face in Kurt's collar and starts sucking on the pale flesh.
"No, no, we should...oh shit that feels good...we should stop."
"No, we shouldn't." Blaine pulls back to smile down at his already disheveled boyfriend. "Please Kurt. I'm so fucking horny I might die."
"Ha!" Kurt laughs, "I doubt it. Come on, get up. You'll hurt yourself, rolling around on the floor like this."
Reluctantly, Blaine moves to one side, but remains sitting on the floor when Kurt moves back to the couch. A moment of silence ensues, a moment neither one knows how to break. Eventually, Blaine looks at Kurt and speaks, voice barely above a whisper.
"Don't you want me anymore?"
"What? No! Is that what you think?" Kurt sounds horrified, and for a moment Blaine regrets having said anything, but he knows this needs to be addressed.
He nods, "I just...keep trying...and you keep pushing me away. All the time. And I'm starting to think maybe it's because you don't want me like that anymore."
"Oh Blaine." Kurt sighs, returning to the floor and wrapping his arms around the bewildered boy. "I do want you. Very much. I look at you sometimes and all I can think is about tearing your clothes off and worshiping your body for hours on end. But then I think back to how broken you were, how bruised and sore and I just...I can't do it. I'm terrified of hurting you, Blaine."
"But this is hurting me more." Blaine argues back, "I feel like I'm this little kid again. My mom used to go off and leave me home alone for two, three weeks at a time. Now, she panics if I'm ten minutes late to the dinner table. Added to that, your dad and Carole- even Finn- are texting, calling, asking if I'm okay the whole time. I appreciate their concern, I really do, but it's just too much. I don't know how to convince people that I'm fine. And you...you're turning into one of them Kurt. I need you to be my boyfriend. I want to feel attractive again. Yes, I was in a bad way, but the bruising has nearly all gone, the cast is off next week. I came here because I needed to be alone with you Kurt, we need to re-connect on that level again. And instead I find you having coffee with my mom and talking about me."
"We weren't talking about you." Kurt answers quickly as Blaine raises an eyebrow. "Well, okay, we were. But we were actually discussing your birthday."
"Oh." Blaine looks at the ground, feeling foolish.
"Oh indeed. And I don't want to tell you any more than that."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Kurt moves to straddle Blaine's legs and runs a finger very tentatively along the scar on his forehead, tracing it's pattern into his thick hair. "I'm glad you came, and I'm glad you said something. I don't think you're a child."
"Then please kiss me."
"I can do that." Kurt smiles softly, lacing his fingers into the curls at the back of Blaine's neck. He inches slowly forward, smiling once more as he sees Blaine unconsciously lick his lips. Both men moan deeply as their mouths join together, sparks of arousal shooting through them as Kurt's grip tightens in Blaine's hair and in turn his hands grip Kurt's hips hard. Their tongues jostle for dominance, neither one wanting to acquiesce, but eventually Kurt gives in and allows Blaine to flip them over so he is on top once more, kissing him as if he may never get the chance again. He moves to Kurt's neck, biting hard and being rewarded with a growl as Kurt arches up beneath him.
"Jesus Blaine...I..."
"Don't tell me to stop." Blaine says urgently, placing hot kisses along Kurt's jaw before working down the other side of his neck, "'Cause I'm not."
"No, no. Don't stop- whatever you do, don't stop." Kurt moans, and pulls Blaine closer.
"Fuck." Blaine moans, and stills as he feels his hard cock rub against Kurt's own erection, the feeling threatening to overwhelm him.
"Shit, Blaine, you're so gorgeous I just...mmm." he melts into another kiss, hips rising to meet Blaine's as he rubs against him, grip tightening on Blaine's shoulder as they build up a rhythm between them.
"Feels too good Kurt...I can't..."
"Just go with it." Kurt replies, licking a strip along Blaine's neck before sucking on his pulse point. He moves his hands to Blaine's ass and squeezes, pushing their throbbing groins closer together as Blaine yells.
"Kurt! I can't...I'm gonna..."
"Yes, come for me baby, go on." And that tips Blaine over the edge as he shudders through his orgasm, while Kurt continues to rub against him before finding the release he has been so desperately needing.
"Holy crap." Kurt pants, lying back on the floor, feeling shaky and exhausted. "We needed that."
"I feel gross." Blaine says, wincing. "But satisfied."
"And you didn't break." Kurt points out.
"I didn't."
"But you will break my back if you don't move. Come on mister, shower time."
They keep things chaste in the shower- much to Blaine's chagrin. But as Kurt points out, they can't risk getting the cast wet.
"Let me suck you off now then," Blaine tries, as Kurt turns off the water and steps from the shower.
"No!" he laughs, "You had your fill, and that's it until your birthday."
"What?" Blaine stands still, dripping water all over the floor as Kurt starts out of the bathroom. "You are kidding me, right?"
"No."
"What? Why?!" he moans.
"You'll see."