"Okay, the thing you need to know about my brother is that he has no filter." Blaine says as he drives towards his house. "None. So whatever you do, think very carefully before you speak. He can turn anything into innuendo, most words sound absurdly sexual coming from his mouth, and my mom usually ends up sending him to his room."
"Erm...how old is he?"
"Thirty two."
"And your mom still has to send him to his room? Wow."
"Yeah...trust me...you'll realize why."
"So how am I being introduced? As your boyfriend or as your teacher?"
"Which would you rather?" Blaine asks as he glances at him with a smile. "Seriously, I'm introducing you as my boyfriend, but do not mention that you're my teacher. Please. If he gets hold of that he'll never shut up."
Kurt surprises Blaine, and even himself by reaching Maria first, picking her up and twirling her around as she squeals on the porch.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you." He says as he looks down at her. "You have no idea how happy you've made us."
"Oh I think I do after that grand gesture," she laughs guiding them both inside. "You'd better still come over during the week though, I've kind of gotten used to having you around," she says fondly.
"How's Cooper getting here?" Blaine asks.
"Who knows? He just said he didn't need a ride from the airport... Oh God." Maria says as a figure clad entirely in black leather and riding an enormous Harley turns into the street.
It skids to a halt outside their house, and Blaine finds emotion getting the better of him as he charges back out onto the porch.
"BLAINERS!" Cooper yells, causing curtains to twitch as the neighbors' peace is disturbed. Blaine throws himself into his brother's arms, thrilled at having him home at last and overjoyed at the prospect of introducing him to Kurt.
"Hey Coop, it's so good to see you." Blaine grins as he pulls him inside. "Did you ride from LA?"
"Yup. Well, I stopped in Colorado...hot piece waiting for me and all that."
"Cooper," Blaine admonishes.
"Speaking of, mom tells me you're finally getting some." Cooper says loudly as he strolls into the living room. "Holy shit! This is him?" he exclaims, ignoring Maria and focusing on Kurt. "Hot damn Blainers, didn't think you had it in you! Or maybe you don't..." Cooper says cocking his head to one side for a moment. "Hard to tell who tops..."
"Cooper!" Maria snaps as she stands. "Be quiet. And give me a kiss." She wraps her arms around her tall son as he hugs her fiercely. "I have missed you so much."
"Missed you too mom." Cooper smiles. "I could always move back..."
"No, no. No need for that," Maria interrupts swiftly. "I'd miss my LA vacations," she adds as an afterthought. "Anyway. As you noticed, there is someone Blaine wants you to meet. I'll let him introduce you as he's bursting with pride." She whispers not so subtly in his ear.
"Um...yeah," Blaine says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "So Cooper, this is my boyfriend, Kurt. Kurt, this is Cooper." Blaine says, and his face breaks into a wide grin as he watches the two shake hands.
"Good to meet you," Kurt says warmly, ignoring the earlier remarks.
"You too buddy. Gotta say, you don't look like a high school senior."
"Um...I'm not." Kurt says softly, looking to Blaine for help.
"Kurt is twenty seven." He offers, though Kurt is not sure that's the type of help he was requesting.
"Really? Well fuck me sideways! You old dog you. Cool man, jeez. What I wouldn't give for a piece of an eighteen year old. Phwoarr. So tight, and innocent. Just wanting you to..."
"Cooper!" Maria yells. "Room."
"But I..."
"Now."
Cooper trails dejectedly out of the living room as Maria apologizes profusely to Kurt.
"Don't worry about it, really. It's fine," he reassures as she marches up the stairs after her eldest son.
"I see what you mean." Kurt says to Blaine as soon as she is out of earshot.
"He doesn't get any better, however much she tries to talk some sense into him. It's like there's just this bit of his brain missing. The bit that deals with manners, decency in public, that kind of thing."
Kurt laughs as he settles on the couch with Blaine wrapped around him. "So this afternoon should be interesting. My dad and Carole are coming."
"Oh shit."
"And Rachel and Finn."
"Mom said she'd invited some people over. This is gonna be awful."
"BERRY!" Cooper yells as he charges down the stairs- having finally been allowed out. "Long time no see. Jeez. Look at you, all grown up. Where did these come from?" he asks, gesturing to her breasts as everyone looks on in horror.
Far from being outraged however, Rachel just laughs and allows herself to be picked up by this giant of a man. "Cooper, it's so good to see you. This is my boyfriend Finn. He's Kurt's step brother. And this is Burt Hummel, Kurt's dad and Carole Hummel-Hudson, Finn's mom."
Blaine finds himself breathing a sigh of relief as Cooper greats them sensibly and starts a conversation with Burt about football almost immediately. He pulls Rachel to one side and whispers to her hurriedly.
"He doesn't know."
"Doesn't know what?"
"Cooper. He doesn't know Kurt is our teacher. Please don't say anything. You know what he's like."
"Oh. Okay. I won't say anything, but how are you going to explain to everyone else?"
"It's only Burt and Carole."
"Um...Blaine...your mom had me invite the entire Glee club."
"She what?" Blaine asks, stony faced and gripping her arm tightly.
"She said she wanted you to celebrate turning eighteen with all your friends. Did I do wrong?"
"No, no." he reassures her and dropping her arm he turns to the kitchen with a loud "Mom!"
Rachel scurries after him, "Why are you walking funny?"
"Not now." he snaps, before bursting in to interrupt his mom, Carole and Kurt all sat at the breakfast bar drinking coffee.
"You invited all my friends?"
"Yes. Why?" Maria asks, nonplussed. "I know you don't like parties, but they're your friends Blaine, I just..."
"You invited all my friends, and Cooper is here."
"It's okay honey, we can keep him occupied." Carole says sweetly.
"Let's try this again, shall we?" Blaine says through gritted teeth. "Cooper knows Kurt as my boyfriend. My friends know Kurt as my teacher, and don't have a clue about us dating. Do you see where I'm going with this?"
There is a moment of silence before Maria claps a hand over her mouth and Kurt and Carole's eyes go wide.
"Oh Blaine, I am so sorry." Maria implores. "I'll keep him away. I really will. I promise. I'm sorry, I didn't even think. Maybe we could cancel..."
"Too late." Rachel says as the doorbell rings.
Blaine's friends file in, heading straight for the table full of food. Artie is first to see Kurt, as he comes in through the back door. "Wassup Mr. H!" he greets cheerfully, seeing nothing out of the ordinary at the presence of Kurt, nor his entire family. Cooper stands holding a plate of chicken which he is resolutely eating his way through.
"Hey Mr. H. You feeling better?" Santana asks, and Kurt swears he catches Puck winking at him.
"Um...yes. Thank you Santana."
"Mr. Hummel, could you please pass me that soda?" Tina asks politely, then goes around pouring drinks for everyone.
"How come they all call you Mr.H?" Cooper asks.
"It's because Kurt's old." Rachel chips in.
"Oh."
"You're Cooper, right?" Quinn asks as she picks up a cupcake.
"Mr. Anderson to you, Missy." Cooper says with a knowing nod in Kurt's direction.
"Excuse me?"
"I'm even older than Mr. Hummel over there, so if you can be so formal with him then you can be with me, too."
"But he's my..." Quinn starts.
"Quinn!" Rachel calls, her voice shrill as she latches onto Quinn's arm and steers her away. "Come and meet Finn's mom."
The noise and hubbub swells around him as Kurt scans the room for Blaine. He finds him almost shrunken in the corner, as if praying everyone will forget about him if he stays there long enough. Kurt gives a small, almost imperceptible nod towards the stairs and Blaine follows gratefully.
"Wow. You really hate this, don't you?" Kurt asks, closing the bedroom door and wrapping his arms tightly around Blaine.
"Yes." he murmurs into his shoulder. "I just...I've never enjoyed being the center of attention like that. When I'm on stage it's different. I can be whoever I want to be, but yeah, it fills me with fear. The thought of all those people expecting me to make conversation with them, waiting for me to be witty or funny and I just feel like...like I'll just be a source of disappointment to them all."
"It's not that many," Kurt says softly as he plays with the curls at the base of his neck. "And they are all your friends. I'm sure you can think of something to say."
"I can't though, because I'm so worried about Cooper. He'll say something, I know he will."
"No he won't. Listen, Finn, Rachel, Carole, your mom, my dad...they're all on the lookout for him, okay? Now I think we should go back downstairs and you should try to relax and enjoy yourself."
"Kiss me, before we go?" Blaine asks in a small voice, his hands gripping the front of Kurt's shirt tightly.
Kurt smiles and brings his lips to Blaine's gently, gasping as Blaine opens his mouth beneath him and pulls him tighter.
"Blaine..." he warns, looking into those eyes which are turning darker by the second.
"Kurt," Blaine counters, and crashes their lips together suddenly, forcing his tongue between Kurt's teeth and smiling as he feels Kurt give in and open his mouth to him.
"We can't...not now..." Kurt forces out as Blaine pushes him into the wall and sucks at his neck. "Oh fuck...Blaine, I can see you in the mirror." he gasps and Blaine turns around briefly, grinning at the sight he finds reflected there.
"You know what I'm gonna do?" he says wickedly into Kurt's ear, and already his hands are wandering under Kurt's shirt, pulling it out from the waistband of his ridiculously tight jeans.
"You can't. I'm not wearing appropriate groping clothes. Too many..."
"Layers." Blaine finishes for him as he steps back with a sigh.
"I however," Kurt continues with a glint in his eye, "am going to suck you while you watch in the mirror." and he spins Blaine around so he's against the wall and falls to his knees. "Gotta be quick," he whispers as he makes light work of Blaine's belt and fly.
"I don't think you need to worry." Blaine says with a small laugh, and then forgets everything as Kurt takes his cock from it's confines and immediately begins sucking on it.
"Oh holy shit." Blaine moans, and turning so he's side on, watches Kurt licking up and down his shaft, torn between looking down or across at the mirror. "Fuck Kurt...yes...harder...suck me harder..." Blaine throws his head back as Kurt takes him deep into his throat.
"Hey Blainers, mom wants to know...Oh Jesus! Fuck!" Cooper cries as he stands in the doorway and takes in the scene before him.
"Fuck, fuck,fuck!" Blaine hisses as he struggles to tuck himself back into his underwear.
"Dude! That's my baby brother!" Cooper cries imploringly to Kurt.
Ignoring him, Kurt stays kneeling on the floor as he looks up at Blaine with fire in his eyes. "You didn't lock the door?"
"I wasn't the one who shut it, remember?" Blaine snaps back.
"Well I didn't think we were coming up here for that!" Kurt exclaims.
"Cooper I'm sorry..." Blaine starts, but his doorway is empty. "Shit!" he runs out of the room, hotly followed by Kurt and stops at the top of the stairs as Cooper bellows into the living room.
"You will NEVER guess what! I've just caught birthday boy getting his gift from Kurt. Let's just say, Blaine seems to be very impressed with Kurt's oral technique."
"COOPER!" Maria yells, barraging her way across the room and leading him out quickly. "Upstairs. Now."
"But..."
"Go."
Burt manhandles him up the stairs quickly, Cooper protesting all the while. Maria passes a very disheveled Kurt and Blaine on the landing. "And don't think you two are scot free either. Get in your room and stay there. I'm coming to you as soon as I've dealt with this idiot."
"What the hell were you two morons thinking?" Maria spits as her and Burt enter the room. "Do you realize how lucky you are that it was Cooper who walked in? What if it had been Sam, or Mike? I asked someone to come upstairs to ask if you were okay. Luckily for you, Cooper volunteered first."
"At least the others would have knocked." Blaine mumbles.
"It doesn't matter, they still would have found Kurt in here with you. And one glance at the pair of you tells anyone what you've been up to. I assumed Kurt was in the den with Puck and Finn."
"Oh no, I wouldn't have been there." Kurt says, horrified.
"Clearly not." Maria says, fixing him with her best death glare. "So Cooper now knows."
"What? Oh mom!" Blaine says exasperatedly.
"Well what else was I supposed to do? Now Kurt, I want you to fix your hair, do something to your neck and be downstairs in five minutes. Blaine, go talk to Cooper." Maria spins on her heel and leaves in a flurry of italian anger and curls.
"You uh...you might wanna fix your fly there son." Burt says to Blaine, clearing his throat and leaving quickly.
"Bathroom." Blaine says, undeterred and dragging Kurt to his feet.
"What? No! Jesus Blaine, you are seriously deluded if you think I'm going to...umpff" he is cut off by Blaine's mouth, pressing against his hungrily as he shuts the bathroom door.
"Locked." he mutters against Kurt's lips.
"You can't...I can't..."
"Suck." Blaine orders.
They are smiling when they emerge not five minutes later- smiles that turn to grimaces when they see Cooper sat on the bed.
"You two are ridiculously loud." he states. "Here," he says, offering a scarf to Kurt. "I know it's not your style, but if anyone asks you can say your throat was hurting, seeing as you've been supposedly sick all week."
"Um...thanks." Kurt says uncertainly and wraps the scarf around his neck then leaves with a brief touch to Blaine's arm.
"So," Cooper starts as Blaine stands in front of him, arms folded.
"So."
"You don't do things by halves, do you?"
Blaine gives a small laugh before making eye contact with his brother. "I guess not."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"That he's my teacher? You know why, you can never keep quiet about anything."
"I'm sorry. I just get over excited. I can keep a secret though. I'm a little hurt that you didn't tell me."
"You don't get it Coop. I've spent my entire life in your shadow. You have always sought to humiliate me at any available opportunity. You used to tell all your friends I was a mute, when in fact I was crippled by shyness because you were always so goddamn loud. When I made a valentines card for Jake Tyler in kindergarten you drove me to school and told the entire yard what I had done. Christ Cooper, I even came to you when I had my first fucking wet dream, begging you not to tell anyone. Not only did you tell mom at the dinner table, you also told all my friends who came to my birthday that year. And people wonder why I don't like parties! You treat everything as if it's a massive joke, Cooper. So no, I didn't tell you anything about Kurt really, because I didn't want you laughing at him, or us, and I didn't want to fuck this up by being a slave to you and your sick sense of humor."
The tense silence fills the room as Cooper takes in all his brother's words.
"Wow." he says after a while. "I just...uh...wow."
"I'm sorry." Blaine whispers.
"No, no, don't be sorry. I didn't realize you felt that way. I just...you want to know why I always act like that Blaine? Because of you. You have always been perfect. No one noticed me from the second you were born. Your hair was black and curly, mine was brown and straight. Your eyes are like magic pools. Mine are blue. I look like him. Like the one man nobody ever wants to talk about or acknowledge in any way. You got all the best bits of mom. Her looks, compassion, grace, humility...everything. You had straight A's from first grade. I had extra tutoring and just scraped through Dalton. People notice me when I'm being funny. They listen, they laugh and they all think I'm a good guy."
"You are a good guy Cooper. And you are funny too, just sometimes you need to tone it down and not use it against others."
"You know I love you an insane amount, right?"
"I..." Blaine starts.
"Cause I do. It damn near killed me when mom called to say about New Years. I wanted to come back but she convinced me to stay and come for your birthday instead. But I'm sticking around for the trial. And I promise I will tone it down a bit."
"I'd like that." Blaine says shyly. "You being here for the trial I mean. And you toning it down."
Cooper laughs, "Alright. Well I think we should head downstairs, I heard talk of cake."
He pulls Blaine into a tight hug, and both step back with tears in their eyes. "Love you Baby Blainers." Cooper says, using his old childhood nickname.
"Love you too."