Anakin Skywalker POV:

Why am I even bothering? Why am I even bothering to act as if I'm strong when I'm not?

I'm not strong, not without her—

The days have passes slowly, making me suffer with the tick-tock of the clock. I just hope that this torture will end, although I will never stop blaming myself.

Never.

It was all my fault. I didn't protect her or try to stop this situation. I wasn't a good Master. I'm even doubting myself when I loved her with my whole heart. Why didn't I stop this before it was too late?

My shaking hands rub my sweating face. I was feeling the face of a failure!

Feeling the face of a bad Master, friend and only for me… lover.

I take the glove from my flesh hand and I press my thumb over my scar on my right eye. Over this war scar.

Reminding me that I have failed other times too but they never have felt as painful as this one. This is a superficial scar and less painful than the scars from the inside, that never heal and sometimes hurt a bit.

To remind us that they are there with us, forever.

The scar that she left in me is so big that I can barely breath, I can barely… get over this feeling of emptiness.

Blue, expressionless irises search for a mirror or something to reflect myself into, big bags under my eyes for the lack of sleep, makes me feel vulnerable and weak.

Kriff, even the Council has noticed it but that is the least thing that I bother right now.

When I find a mirror, I see myself in it, and only one word comes to my mind.

Failure.

I don't know how many times I have to repeat it. Maybe until the pain goes away (hardly) or when I finally know how I really am will the repetition finally fade into the darkness.

I'm nothing more and nothing less than a failure. I couldn't take it. All these years, I couldn't take it. My feelings were in turmoil every time I saw her.

Her smile, her beautiful eyes, her graceful silhouette.

She was beautiful… No, she was perfect.

She was.

But for her, I was just her big brother. And I had to act as I only saw her as my little sister, just to don't make her get away from me. Without noticing, she is farther away that I wished, than I could have supported.

My mind doesn't know how to act against this, my body is numb and it seems that my heart stopped beating…that I stopped living. I didn't want to get out to the world. I'm not ready to face the fact that she won't come running after me when I leave the door, walking to the mess hall.

Everything will bring me so many memories about her.

My messy hair and my unshaved chin and face makes me wonder if I still care about myself.

That I know that the answer would be a rotund, no.

But, then again, when I ever cared about myself? It was always her.

Nobody else.

I'm afraid. For the first time in my life, I'm really afraid.

I'm afraid of giving one step and falling… Because I don't trust in myself anymore. I'm afraid of being in the front lines soon and when I turn around to tell her how many droids I've destroyed, she won't be there to tell me that I'm show off to smile later.

A loud sigh creeps out of my throat and lips.

I hate saying good-bye.

I hate it when people abandon me.

My mother, Padme and in some sick way… me.

I'm a hypocrite, too, then.

Everybody has abandoned me but Ahsoka. She wanted to live, be at my side… maybe.

But she was murderer.

My fist hits the wall and the pain travels through my nervous system and leaves a tingling feeling in my arm.

Why me? Why her?

Why us?

Did I deserve it?

Now, I just want revenge, the anxiety for it was unbearable but satiable, once my revenge is carried on I can die in peace, to be with her forever.

Everything was perfect except for a little detail.

Revenge is not the Jedi way

Lately that statement, that sacred belief has been a pain.

Everyone has taken revenge on someone or something because it's normal in our behavior.

It is normal, human… it is a feeling.

Feelings that we—the Jedi—have to repress in ourselves were to make us stronger and capable.

The Code is trying to make us unfeeling beings, senseless people to don't get hurt and fall to the Dark Side.

The Code don't let us love.

The most natural, beautiful and sensitive thing in the galaxy is out of our reach, and sometimes I think it is the only way to make us less living forms and more brainless peace keepers.

When did we lose our right to feel?

When did we let this happen?

When did I let this happen?

I'm the Chosen One after all, and that is what they believe.

But I don't believe that.

The prophecy tell us about a strong, powerful and capable man that will bring balance to the Force, that his light and power in the Force will bring the Galaxy peace and happiness.

But I'm everything but the Chosen One.

Damn, even if my thoughts have light in them, I can't be that person.

I'm not that person.

The Council has been wrong. It is wrong about another kriffing thing!

My trust in The Council has been shaken by the powerful force of the distrust that is growing every day bigger and stronger. They have implanted an idea in my head making me think that I'm someone that I'm not, leaving me with a heavy thought with a simple question.

Who am I?

I'm not The Hero without Fear, I'm not the General of the 501st army.

I'm not the Chosen One.

I'm not powerful enough to be the Chosen One.

WHO AM I?

Anakin Skywalker, the boy with the dream of being free into the galaxy from slavery, with the blonde hair and his face covered with a cape of dust and oil from the pod-racers yet with a heavy shade of blue in his eyes that reflects all the fear and anguish he is feeling for his mother.

Or Anakin Skywalker, the man who isn't supposed to feel fear, that can't have the luxury of a lost battle, or have feelings. People see him as a hero without knowing that behind these cold blue eyes he hides the most terrible thoughts in the galaxy because his heart has been broken too many times for his liking.

The sound of my comm make me see down at my wrist before talking through it.

"Skywalker." I say with my General voice.

It seems that I have to be Anakin Skywalker, "The Failure One."

"Sir, we found her… We found Commander Tano's murderer."

Found

Commander Tano's

Murderer

Those three words echoed through my head and in a second I sprint towards the prison.

"Force, please help her." I think before images an idea of what I will do to her when I see her cross my mind.

Without wasting time, I jumped in a speeder and flew away, leaving behind all my Jedi teachings and for Force sake even my self-control.

A/N: Here a longer chapter than the last one, maybe it was boring but I really wanted to you too see into Anakin's feelings.

Next chapter will be more interesting as we see what is Ahsoka doing in Mortis and how Anakin will act when he sees the murderer.

Thank you Katierosefun for Beta'ing this and thanks to: Katierosefun, Guest and ahsokanerd for reviewing :)