Chapter 6: Feelings Realized

Alma slowly opened her eyes as she felt the rays of the morning sun touch her eyelids. Sitting up, she realized that it was only dawn and that Justin would not come to get her for another two to three hours. She had stayed up well into the night preoccupied by her thoughts on what must be done to secure her escape from Riovanes. Although she had only slept for only a few hours, Alma found to her dismay that she could not fall back asleep, try as she might; there was simply too much on her mind. Getting up, Alma tied her hair in a bun and drew herself a hot bath, wanting to bathe to pass time until her guard arrived to take her to the mess hall for breakfast before they headed out to the rest of the castle.

As she submerged herself in the steaming water, Alma pondered on how to go about her plan. If she could somehow escape before Ramza arrived and meet him halfway, she could prevent a confrontation between him and Izlude. Unfortunately, that was virtually impossible now that she was being watched day and night. Even if Alma could find a way to escape, she knew that Izlude would likely come after her anyway; the young man was quite taken with Alma and would not just simply give her back to her brother without a fight. No, he had to die, it was the only way.

After getting out of the tub and drying herself off, Alma put on some scented lotion and got changed into one of her daytime dresses. Tying her honey-colored hair back in its usual ponytail with a silk ribbon, she wasted no time putting on some make-up and perfume to prepare herself for the day. Not long after she was finished, Alma heard a knock on her door, no doubt her daytime escort had arrived to take her to the castle mess hall for breakfast.

"M-miss Alma! I-its J-Justin! M-may I c-come in?"

"Yes, of course, you may!"

As she predicted, the door was unlocked and her daytime escort walked in. Upon seeing the shy but charming young knight, Alma smiled and got up from her make-up table and made a small curtsy.

"Good morning, Sir Justin! And how are you this fine morning?"

"G-good, t-thank you! S-shall we g-get g-going?" the young knight smiled and asked as he offered Alma his arm.

"Yes, of course, I'm famished!" she answered before taking it and allowing Justin to lead her out of the room.

SSSSSS

As Alma sat on a bench in the castle courtyard, she slowly eyed the crowd of people coming to and fro while Justin practiced some of his sword techniques nearby. She knew that in order for her plan to work, she was going to need a weapon, something she can easily hide in the folds of her gown until Izlude came to see her again in the evening. Fortunately, she spotted a nearby merchant making a sale to a young squire and knew the man would have just what she needed. Thankfully, Justin had already trusted her enough to drop his guard a bit and Alma was determined to use it to her advantage. Thinking quickly, she approached her guard.

"Justin?"

"Y-yes, M-miss Alma?"

"I know we already had breakfast not too long ago, but for some reason, I'm starting to feel hungry again. Would you mind getting a snack for me? I still have some money that Izlude gave me yesterday."

To this, the young knight raised an eyebrow. He had grown very fond of Alma over the last two weeks but was still hesitant to grant her request. Knowing the reason behind his reluctance, Alma simply gave him her most innocent smile and said "Don't worry; I promise I won't go anywhere. You've been very good to me and I would never do anything to bring Izlude's displeasure down on you. You can trust me; I'll still be here when you get back."

Upon hearing her promise, Justin smiled. "V-very well. I w-will g-get s-something. J-just wait h-here."

Alma reached into her pocket and gave her guard the rest of her money, which wasn't much, just enough to buy a snack or two.

"Thank you, Justin. You can go ahead and get something for yourself as well. I'll be right here."

"R-right. I-I'll be b-back r-real soon. A-and Th-thank you, M-miss Alma."

"Your welcome! Think nothing of it."

After watching Justin leave and making sure he was clearly out of sight, Alma turned to the merchant who had just barely finished his transaction with his last customer and waved her hands to catch the man's attention. As soon as he saw her, the merchant made his way through the crowd to approach the young noblewoman.

"Good day, my lady! Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes. I need a dagger; do you have one?"

"I have many. Is there a specific make or design you're looking for?"

"No, not really. Just something that I can conceal easily on my body so that I can defend myself should I ever get into a situation that requires it." Although she was not used to lying, Alma tried to make her answer sound as smooth and convincing as possible so that the man would not become suspicious of her. Thankfully, it worked and the merchant reached into his bags and pulled out a dagger that was simple in design, but good enough to serve her purpose and that was all she cared about.

"Will this do?" he asked.

Alma nodded. "Yes, it will do just fine. I do not have any money left on me so would you consent to a trade instead?"

"I may. What did you have in mind?"

In answer, Alma reached behind her neck and unclasped her gold and ruby pendant to offer as payment for the dagger. It was a gift given to her by Zalbag for her sixteenth birthday and she was loathed to give it up but it was all she had to trade with since she had already given the rest of her money to Justin for food. And even if she hadn't, it still wouldn't be enough for her to buy a weapon; Izlude likely had that in mind whenever he gave Alma money to enjoy herself at the castle square.

Upon seeing the pendant in Alma's hand, the merchant was surprised. "My lady, that pendant is likely worth far more than anything I have on me. Are you sure you want to trade it just for a simple blade?"

Alma nodded. "Yes, I am certain. You need not worry about the pendant; my family is very well off so I am no short of jewelry. This is just one of the many jewels I have so I assure you I won't miss it. Please take it, I need the dagger more."

"I see… well, if you insist, I can take it. But since it is such a valuable piece, it's only fair that I give you my best dagger for it." And with that, the merchant put the first dagger away and reached into his bag again to pull out another, much more attractive dagger with a better quality steel blade and an exquisitely carved wooden handle as well as fine leather sheath. Though it still wasn't worth nearly as much as her pendant, Alma was grateful nonetheless.

"Thank you, sir. I truly appreciate it" she said as she traded her pendant for the blade "Enjoy the pendant and have a good day."

The merchant topped his hat to her. "You too, my lady; it's been a pleasure doing business with you." And with that, he left her and went on his way. After he was gone, Alma quickly slipped the dagger into one of her boots, thankful that it was short enough to be completely concealed. No sooner had she done this, she saw Justin heading her way with a small bag of food. Luckily, the expression on his face told Alma that he neither saw nor suspected her recent purchase so her timing had been perfect, much to her relief.

Smiling and pretending that nothing had happened, Alma reached out for the bag. "Thank you so much, Justin. I really appreciate it. So what did you get?"

"S-some m-muf-fins, m-my l-lady!" he answered happily. "I-I hope you l-like!"

"Oh, I'm sure I will! Why don't you join me?" she asked as she took his hand and led him to a bench, happy that she had obtained what she needed without too much trouble.

"O-of c-course! L-lets sit d-down and e-eat!"

SSSSSS

Later that evening, as Izlude stood before his mirror and combed his hair after changing into more casual clothes for his usual dinner with Alma, he thought back to his recent conversation with Malak. Ramza was coming for his sister and soon. He wasn't surprised; he had known it since the girl revealed her name to him. He may have met Ramza only once but that was enough for him to see how determined the young Beoulve was when his mind was set on something and right now, that something, or rather someone, was his little sister and Izlude did not fault him for that; he would have done the same if it had been Meliadoul who was kidnapped and ransomed. However, he was still reluctant to simply hand Alma back to her brother even if he were to give up the scriptures and stones which was what Izlude's father had ordered him to get in the first place; no, it wasn't just about the damn book and blasted pieces of rock anymore, at least not to him.

After he finished combing his hair, Izlude returned to his bed where he opened the drawer of his night table and pulled out a small box. In it, was a small golden ring with sparking diamonds halfway around it, his dearly departed mother's ring which his father entrusted to his care after she passed away so that he may one day give it to his own bride. Izlude had never met a girl he wanted to give it to until now. He didn't want Alma to go but if she was going to stay with him, he wanted it to be of her own free will and should she choose to return to her brother after the ransom exchange, he would not stop her no matter how painful it would be for him personally; Meliadoul had once told him that to truly love another meant caring for their happiness and well-being more than his own. But if Izlude was going to let Alma go, he had to know if she returned his feelings first and there was only one way to find out…

SSSSSS

"Lady Alma, may I please come in?" Izlude called from the other side of his guest's chamber door.

Upon hearing the voice of her host, Alma answered "Yes, you may!"

The young knight blade unlocked and opened the door to find his guest sitting at the dinner table, waiting for him as usual, dressed in a green and black silk gown he had bought for her recently. Taking his usual bow after making sure the ring box was secure in his pocket, he smiled and asked "My lady, would you allow me the honor of joining you for dinner?"

Alma blushed; no matter how many times she saw Izlude do that, she never got tired of seeing it. Getting up and making a small curtsy, she answered "Yes, of course; I would be honored to have you join me."

Taking the invitation, Izlude took his place at the small wooden dinner table across from Alma. By now, he was sure that they must have tried every recipe the castle chef knew of but the man's cooking was without par and difficult to tire of. Tonight, they would being having veal scaloppini and salad with mixed fruits and red wine.

"Thank you for joining me, Izlude. How was your day?"

"The usual. Just my normal duties, nothing special" he answered, trying not to think of his conversation with the duke's adopted son as he looked at his guest's lovely face. Being the youngest child as well as only daughter of the Beoulves, Izlude was sure that Alma was the treasured jewel of her family and that none of her brothers would give her up so easily despite what she believed to the contrary. "But enough about me" he continued. "How was your day, Alma?"

It was now Alma's turn to feel uneasy. She felt couldn't help feeling bad that she tricked Justin into buying her time to obtain a weapon to use against his commander and friend, but it was something that had to be done and she hoped that her daytime companion, whom she also thought of as a friend, would forgive her. "It was alright" she answered "The caste square was lively today and I enjoyed watching the knights and magicians train."

"I see. I'm glad you've become comfortable here even though it's not your home. It is not mine either; I am every bit as much a guest here as you are. In a day or two, my father will return to meet with the duke and after that, my fellow Templars and I will depart Riovanes once our duty here is finished."

Alma was startled "Where will you go?" she asked "And what will become of me? Will you simply leave me here with the duke?" The thought disturbed her; Alma knew full well that she was not a guest of Barrington's and would not be entitled to treatment as such. For all she knew, he might have her sent to the dungeon again once there was no one here to pay for her room and board.

Izlude seem to have read her mind for he answered "Worry not, Alma; I have no intention of just leaving you here. That is why…" the young knight blade trailed off as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black velvet box. Upon seeing the small object, Alma's eyes widened.

Oh God, no… It can't be…

But it was. Opening the box, Izlude pulled out a beautiful small diamond studded gold ring. After placing the box back on the table, he got up from his seat, went over to Alma's side of the table, and kneeled before her.

"Alma… "he began "Though I wish we could have met under more pleasant circumstances, I am still glad I got to know you. You are unlike any other woman I have ever met and have made me feel as I never have before and I would be greatly honored if you would have me… as your husband."

For the first time in her life, Alma found herself completely at a loss as to what to say. Since her arrival, she had schemed to gain his interest and trust but not for the reason he was kneeling before her now.

"Oh, my god, Izlude! I don't know what to say!" she gasped.

He smiled as he rose to kiss her "Please say yes… it can happen anytime you want; I won't push you, I promise…"

Damn, he got her. "Y-yes… of course!" What else could she say?

Izlude smiled in triumph "Good" he said as he brought his lips to hers in a passionate kiss…

SSSSSS

Later that night, Alma slowly opened her eyes and found herself lying in Izlude's arms; as she predicted, he was fast asleep. Earlier that evening, Alma had casted a waking spell on herself, a trick she learned from a time mage years ago, to assure that she woke up at least four hours before dawn because timing was everything if her plan was going to work.

Taking great care not to wake her bed mate, Alma slowly pried herself out of Izlude's arms and crawled to the end of the bed where she reached underneath for the dagger she had hidden before his arrival. The blade made a soft hiss as it was pulled from the sheath which Alma tucked under the blanket before crawling back to where her target slept unsuspecting.

As Alma raised the dagger over Izlude's peacefully sleeping form, she felt her heart pounding painfully against her chest and her hands shaking uncontrollably; she had never even killed an animal for food and now she was thinking of killing a human being to free herself from his captivity. And not just any human being, but the knight who had shown her only kindness from the first day she was brought to Riovanes as a prisoner, the knight who protected her from the dark intentions of his superiors, the knight who pledged his heart to her and asked her to be his bride.

How shall I do it? Straight through the heart and stop the heartbeat? Or perhaps I should paint a red smile across his throat and cut his life away?

Alma knew time was of the essence and that the young man laying before her was the only thing that stood between her and her freedom. By now, she had already memorized most of the castle layout and could easily find her way to the stable, steal a chocobo as well as provisions, and be far away from Riovanes by the time Izlude's body was discovered in the morning. But try as she might, Alma still couldn't bring herself to strike; it was as if her hands would not obey her mind's command.

Why do you hesitate? Your father and brothers have taken countless lives on the battlefield without drawing a breath in between. This should be no different!

But as hard as Alma tried to convince herself of that, she knew better. Killing in the heat of battle was not the same as killing an unarmed man in his sleep when he was most vulnerable and trusted himself to God. Nothing could justify what she was considering and it was clearly murder no matter how she looked at it. But that was not the only reason.

Looking down, Alma saw the soft candle light illuminate the handsome face of her intended victim, the face whose beauty would soon be twisted with pain and agony should she go through with her dreadful plan.

Alma closed her eyes as she tried without success to shut out the grisly image of Izlude's blood splashing all over her, which would be inevitable even if she ended his life before he could scream and wake the other castle inhabitants. And what if he didn't die right away? What if she had to stab him again and again? Could she really make him suffer like that? Against her will, her mind kept replaying over all the things Izlude had done for her, memories of his kindness, his generosity, his protectiveness, and his…

Upon realizing this, Alma finally knew, finally understood, why she couldn't bring herself to strike. It was because…because…

She had fallen in love with him.

Lowering her arms, and clutching the dagger against her breast, Alma hung her head down and tried her hardest not to let the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes fall.

I'm sorry, Ramza… I can't do it… I can't kill him. Not for my freedom, not even for you…

"What's wrong, Alma? Aren't you going to kill me?"

Started, Alma was snapped out of her thoughts at the voice of her bed mate and looked up to see Izlude wide awake, sitting up, and staring at her with his beautiful, soulful green eyes.

"Izlude!" she gasped "You were awake?"

He smiled sadly. "I'm a very light sleeper and my hearing is very sharp; I awoke as soon as I felt you stirring from the bed."

"You knew what I intended?"

Izlude shook his head. "Honestly? No. But I was able to catch on quickly once I heard the knife being drawn."

"Then why didn't you try to stop me?

As if in answer, Izlude reached over and gently pried the dagger from Alma's hand. After placing it on the night table, he took her in his arms and whispered in her ear:

"Because I know you, Alma; you are too kind, too gentle, and pure. You may kill only if your own life was threatened but never in cold blood; such a vile act is simply against your nature."

Alma stared at Izlude in amazement. Was she truly that easy to read? "Are you not angry with me?" She had expected him to at least berate her but there was not a hint of reproach in his eyes, only understanding.

"And why would I be? If I was in your place, I could never kill the one I love."

"You mean…?"

"Yes, Alma. I love you. And if you still want my life, I will let you have it without a fight because it is yours now."

"But your life is your own."

"I give it to you..."

Shaking her head, she returned his embrace as she let the tears flow freely from her eyes. "No…I won't take your life because… I love you too, Izlude."

"Then be mine tonight…" he whispered as reached down to pull her slip over her head and kissed her.

"Yes, my love…" she answered as she allowed him to strip her before returning his kiss and reaching for the buttons of his pants. This time, it was not a trick, a trap, or a ploy; her love for her knight blade was real.

As was her desire.

A/N: Ok, chapter 6 is up faster than I thought! Looks like I'm on a roll here and I'm thrilled I was able to continue this fic without trouble like before! However, I'm not done just yet; I predict my story will be another two or three chapters and I really hope I don't disappoint all you romance fans. As much as I love writing steamy love scenes, I want to maintain the 'T' rating on this fic. I may write a more detailed love scene between our dashing knight blade and lovely noblewoman but I would have to post it separately in the 'M' rated section. And that would also depend on my reviewers' requests too! Anyway, I'm done rambling; see you next chapter and please review! ;)