Thanks again for the reviews… I agree that it stinks that Elena admitted she loves Damon to his brother and not him, but that will be addressed…
"Well, isn't this sweet?" Damon's voice whispers from my bedroom doorway. I push Stefan away from me and look over to the cold, blue steel eyes glaring at me.
My stomach drops as I step back from Stefan another step. Damon can't have been standing there too long but that he's even here at all cannot be good. I'm terrified that he'll just bolt without listening to any kind of explanation and at this point, from where he stands, I don't know what explanation will diffuse his anger.
"Nicely played, brother," Damon breaks the deafening silence, clapping his hands together in polite applause.
"I learned from the best, Damon," Stefan smiles wryly and I shoot him a look, silently begging him to not make this any worse but I'm not certain he won't be able to help himself from egging Damon on and I can't say I blame him. I don't have to like what's coming next, but I'm not at all surprised. "I'm sure you understand my predicament, my brother falling for my girlfriend and all. You didn't think I'd just step back and let you have her, did you?"
"Hold on a minute," I interject before Damon can take the bait. "I'm not anyone's property and all of this isn't some game."
"But Elena, if it's not a game, then why do you play it so well? From where I stand, you're definitely the one winning." Damon's words are aimed to hurt me and they reach their target but I know he's just trying to lessen his own pain. "Don't let me keep you from what you want."
Damon moves to leave, thankfully not using his vampire speed, so I'm able to protest, "Damon, if you will just give me a minute, I can explain everything which is what I would have done when I saw you next, if you hadn't been here right now. Which is more than I can say for what you did with Elijah."
My words hit their mark and he stops; he knows I'm justified in being upset with him for not telling me about Elijah.
"All right Elena, you've got my undivided attention, please fill me in on your reunion with my brother," Damon crosses the room, shoulder brushing his brother aside and settles himself onto my bed. He folds his arms over his chest and looks at me icily.
I glance over at Stefan, "Do you mind giving us a moment?"
"Whatever you want, Elena," Stefan looks me squarely in the eye. "I'm sure we'll see each other soon, we do have Klaus and Elijah's deaths to plot and all." Turning his attention to Damon, he surprises both of us with his words, "Give her a chance to explain, Damon, she deserves that much."
Stefan swooshes out of the room, leaving me with just one heartbroken brother, hopefully I can fix that soon enough. Where to begin?
"So…"
"Make it quick, Elena, I've got an impatient Original waiting to meet with me."
I roll my eyes at him, "We'll talk about that particular can of worms later." I swallow and continue, still rooted in the same spot – this would be marginally easier to do if I wasn't standing here in just a towel. "I don't know how long you were standing there, but it doesn't really matter, you shouldn't have seen or heard any of it. Not that I wanted to keep it from you but it would have been easier to tell you after it all happened, to not have you jump to conclusions. I don't want to hurt you any more, Damon."
"Funny, I think your methods for avoiding pain might need a little tweaking," Damon raises an eyebrow as he spits his words out through gritted teeth.
"Stefan and I are done, what you witnessed was the end of it. The end of our 'epic' love, not the beginning of anything more," I can't help but tear up, my emotions are more than a little ragged. "I told you last night that I needed to be fully done with him before I could move on."
"Again, I'd argue that your methods are faulty. Exchanging 'I love yous' and kisses don't really signify moving on. They are more along the lines of let's get it on, wouldn't you say?" Damon arches his eyebrow once again and then, shaking his head, looks away from me.
"God, Damon, listen to my words," I move to stand in front of him, reaching to turn his chin up so he's looking at me. "Whether you believe me or not, that was goodbye. We are done right now, but that doesn't mean that I don't love him. I told him, and I'll tell you, that I might always love him but it's not enough. I can't help who I love. But it's just love."
"That's where you're wrong, Elena, it's not just love," Damon stands up and takes the hand that is holding his chin in place. "At least not for me. But I think you can feel it too, feel what's here between us." He turns my hand so it's resting on my chest, over my heart, his hand pressed down on top of my own. "I don't just love you, Elena. But it doesn't matter unless you feel something, too; unless you want something, too."
"Damon, I can't… I mean, it would be so easy to just fall into this with you, but…" Betraying my words, my heart is racing.
"Careful, Elena, your heart is giving you away. Don't pretend you feel nothing."
"Damon, I'm not trying to pretend, I'm just trying to be levelheaded," Trying not to fall in love minutes after saying goodbye to your brother, I continue in my head.
Damon rolls his eyes, "You know how I feel about being levelheaded. Your head has nothing to do with love and if you're going to try and use it to figure this out for yourself, you're never going to find the answers. Follow your heart." To emphasize his point, he puts more pressure on the hand on my chest, causing my heart to pump even faster. "What does your heart say, Elena?"
And I want to just crash into him, to hell with the consequences, to hell with everyone else. But I meant what I said to him and to Stefan, I was not trading one brother in for the other. At least I wasn't being Katherine and stringing them both along, but I was also human and my humanity was causing me difficulty in not letting me give in completely to my feelings for Damon. Everything else around me was a mess and getting involved with Damon was just going to complicate things further, causing unneeded distractions for both of us. We need to have clear heads if we're going to survive this, otherwise we'll both end up dead.
Sighing, I shake my head, "I just need time, Damon, that's all. Just a little time."
"I'd say take all the time you need, but the future's a bit dark and uncertain," Damon smiles, finally letting me see that he believes what I've told him about Stefan and I. "But if that's what you need, I can give you that. Even so, if I'm going to step back, you need to tell me something…"
"Sure, Damon, what is it?" I close my eyes, unsure where he's headed.
"Tell me you love me."
"Damon, you know I do."
"No, Elena, I need to hear you say it, to know you feel it. Say the words to me, if you want me to give you time, I need to know it's not just something you're saying to let me down easy. Say the words. Because if you can't, if you don't…" He trails off and I'm surprised to see tears in his eyes.
Not even ten minutes ago, I had no problem admitting my feelings for Damon to his brother but I know once I say it to Damon, the stakes are raised and there is no going back, no unsaying those words. And I don't want to go back, could never go back, I'm just so scared to take the next step forward.
"Damon," I pull my hand out from under his and move it so it's on top of his, clinging to it, holding it there so he can have no doubt about what I'm going to say, "Damon, I love you."
The air around us seems to thicken almost instantly and I can practically hear my heart pounding, telling him that I mean it, that I'm not just saying the words he wants to hear but that I mean them with everything in me.
"I know." His eyes sparkle as he smiles at me. "I love you, too, Elena. I always will. Forgive me, but despite what I said about giving you time, I'm going to have to kiss you now."
Before he can make any move, I lean in and cover his mouth with mine. His right hand is still between us, while his left snakes around my back and pulls me against him. Our tongues tangle and my breath is trapped in my lungs. The fingers of his right hand dig into my collarbone and he moves his lips to kiss away his fingerprints. My left hand finds itself in his hair, my light skin alternating with his jet black hair – I'm mesmerized by the contrast and by his head against my chest. I close my eyes and my head falls back as his lips trail up my neck, a small moan escapes my lips.
"Careful, Elena, what would your head say about all this," I can feel Damon grinning. "You do want to be levelheaded, right?"
I clear my throat, and breathe out. "Right, that's what I said."
"All right then," Damon releases me and smoothly skirts around me, moving to my bedroom door. "Good to know we're on the same page. Now, I've got an ancient bad guy to go catch up with."
His words bring me back to reality. For a small moment I forget about our latest impending doom; this is exactly the kind of distraction I was afraid of, though I'll make an exception this time around, since I did make the first move.
"Damon, do you know what you're doing there?" I hope he has some sort of master plan he's working from. "I'd tell you to be careful…"
"But you know better," Damon simply smiles. "Don't worry, Elena, I'm the only one who knows where the coffin is, I doubt they'll try and kill me… yet."
"Yeah, that doesn't really make me feel better."
"Well, I'm not really the 'lying to make you feel better' type, now am I?"
"No, you are not." I smile and grab his hand. "See you at the Grille after? I'm sure Alaric will still be there, so I think I'll go hang out with him."
Damon nods and leans into me, as if to kiss me again but stops, a wicked grin on his face, "By the way, nice towel, Elena. I completely approve of this outfit, anytime you want to model it for me again, you just let me know."
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