Author's note: Sorry this is so long in coming… I'm loving your comments. Just reread the last chapter and I'm not completely in love with the dialog, but, what can you do.
It takes all I have in me to open my eyes, I look first to see Stefan's lifeless body on the floor next to me and then at the wall where I see Klaus is also on the ground, lastly I look at Damon who, despite all his wounds, is still alive. My love. My life. And I know it now, I know that love is enough.
I close my eyes and will myself to stay alive. If Stefan is dead I know that at the very least I have to hold on until I can see Damon again, if he's alive as well. I can't leave him without both of us. We've had enough loss to go around, we can't all die on this night.
The reality of it all floods into my mind – raising more questions than ever – questions I can hardly focus on through the cloud that seems to be my mind. Can Klaus be dead? Can Damon have survived? What about Stefan, how can I explain this to Damon? What has even happened tonight; is it possible all of it is over? Will Esther let me go? What about Elijah or Rebekah, will they want revenge? What more can happen? The questions keep coming as I fade in and out of consciousness.
In my drifting, I hear more voices, sounding like they are coming from somewhere else. Some are shouting, some are cool and collected but none are the voice I'm aching to hear. Bonnie, Elijah, Caroline, Tyler, Alaric, Rebekah and others I don't recognize, but not Stefan and not Damon.
I feel cold and at the same time like every inch of me is on fire and completely out of control. There is nothing I can do about whatever is going on and despite my inability to move or open my eyes, I feel my mind continue to race, desperate for answers.
And then I hear it, at least I think I do, Damon's voice in my ear, whispering my name over and over like a prayer. And then I can let go, I can stop fighting to stay afloat and aware. The darkness completely sweeps in and I'm out.
The constant, steady beep of a machine is the first thing I hear when I wake up. Then the ever-familiar scent of "hospital" reaches my nose and I sigh, here I am again. I've spent far too much time in this place for my liking, maybe after this I'll never have to be here again – wishful thinking.
"Elena, are you coming back to us?" I hear Bonnie's expectant voice and feel her hands on my shoulders, giving me a gentle shake.
I slowly open my eyes, thankful for the dimmed lights in the room. Bonnie is standing to the right of the bed and Caroline is on my left but other than my two friends, we are alone. I should feel elated to see them, to be alive, but I feel empty.
"Where is Damon?" He has to have made it, I heard his voice. "I heard him. He's alive, right?"
"Shhh, Elena, don't get worked up, your body can't take too much, the doctors said you were in shock and your body appeared to have gone through a great trauma but they couldn't explain what it was or how it happened," Caroline's voice is meant to calm but my heart monitor would indicate it is having the opposite effect. "And we weren't any good in explaining it ourselves."
"Caroline, Bonnie… answer me, where is Damon?" My voice is weak but firm as I glance back and forth between my friends' worried faces. "Just tell me."
"He's fine, at least he was," Caroline speaks up again. "He got you to the hospital and then said he had to take care of some things and we haven't seen him since."
Something about her voice tells me there's more to the story, "How long have I been out?"
"Five days," Bonnie finally speaks again. "They said you just needed time to heal. But I'm so glad to see you awake, you scared us!"
Five days. How is that even possible? It felt like minutes, maybe hours since I heard Damon's voice in my ear. How could he not have been here? Unless… "Klaus, what about Klaus, is he actually dead?"
"Yes, he's dead, Damon killed him. He said one minute Klaus was torturing him and then he stopped and dropped to the ground. Damon had managed to free himself and had been waiting for a chance to escape. And apparently he got it. He said he ripped Klaus' heart out, which I'm pretty sure he meant literally." Bonnie sounds very matter-of-fact about it all, "We don't know what happened to weaken Klaus so much but Damon saw the opportunity and took it, hoping it would work without something white oak-y. And it did. Klaus is dead, Damon said he cut off his head and burned his body just to be sure."
I'm surprisingly unphased by her description of Klaus' demise. But as her words sink, something she says surprises me, "Wait, what do you mean, you don't know what happened to weaken Klaus? How did you find me?"
"Ric got a call from a woman. She told him where to find you. We guessed it was whoever was in the coffin because she apologized for knocking Bonnie and her mom out. Damon got to the house just as we were leaving to find you." Caroline reaches to hold my hand as she continues, "It was out in the middle of the woods, miles from everything. You were on the floor in this room, barely alive. I was so scared, Elena. I gave you some of my blood but it didn't seem to do anything. Damon would have tried but he was hardly in a state to be helping anyone with blood. Elijah and Rebekah came shortly after we got there, like they were looking for something but you were the only thing there. They left us to get you out of there but were still snooping around for something."
"Wait, I was the only thing there? What about the others? What about Stefan? We were there together, I think he…" a sob rises in my throat and I try to choke it back. "Oh God, I think he's dead."
I see Bonnie and Caroline exchanged a look before Caroline continues. "When we got there, you were it, you and a bunch of candles. Clearly something had gone down because the air just felt intense, I can't explain it, but you were the only person we found – living or otherwise. Damon scooped you up, though I don't know how, he could barely stand after what Klaus put him through. We brought you to the hospital and you've been here ever since."
"I don't understand. None of this makes sense. Why would Damon…" My head feels foggy and I'm not sure if it's from what I've been through or from something they've given me here at the hospital.
Before I can ask anything, the door opens and a nurse comes in, "Ms. Gilbert, good to see you awake, we've been eager to see your eyes around here. Can I check your vitals?"
"Sure," I nod because it's not like I'm going to say no, no matter how much I won't want someone poking at me.
The nurse flits around the room, checking my monitors, taking my temperature and reading my blood pressure. She stops to ask me a few questions about my pain levels, how I'm feeling, etc… She's efficient and thankfully not overly chatty. She finishes up and assures us that everything is looking good and that a doctor will be in very soon to check me out, too.
As the door clicks closed behind her I turn my attention back to my friends, "So, what's going on? What aren't you telling me?"
"You need to rest, Elena and to stop worrying for a moment," Bonnie squeezes my arm.
"No, I need you guys to tell me what's going on… you heard the nurse, everything looks good. Just tell me."
We're interrupted again by the door swinging open and as promised the doctor has come to check on me.
"Ladies, I think our patient needs some more rest," His voice is nice but condescending. "Now that she's awake, I need her to remain calm while she recovers and her heart rate has been all over the place since she woke up. I think it's best if you give her some time. I'm going to give her a sedative to help her relax and get some more sleep."
"No, I don't want to sleep," I protest before I see both Bonnie and Caroline nodding in agreement.
"Elena, you need rest, this will all still be here when you wake up, nothing will be changed and we can talk about it then." Bonnie tries to placate me.
"Yeah, Elena, just sleep and get better." Caroline offers a weak smile as she turns to drab her discarded purse from the chair behind her. "We'll be back to see you later."
Bonnie and Caroline exit my room as the nurse comes in with a syringe in her hand. Uncapping it, she finds an input on my IV and empties the clear liquid into the tubing. I watch the IV, as if I could see the liquid flowing into my body. The doctor and nurse leave the room, pulling the door closed behind them and I'm left alone with thoughts swirling in my head. It doesn't take long for the medicine to take effect and within a few minutes I feel myself drifting off to sleep.
Who knows how much later, I wake with a start. The dark sky outside my window indicates it's now night time, hopefully the same day. I start to raise my hand to my face and feel resistance; I'm so out of it I hadn't even noticed someone was in the room with me. I glance down to see who it is and my heart soars seeing the dark hair atop the head that's resting against my hand. The head rises and Damon's eyes lock with mine, tiny blue oceans revealing a world of sadness. He looks nearly as bad as I feel, everything about him seems worn.
"Elena," Damon breathes my name out, barely above a whisper. One hand is gripping the fingers of my left hand while the other reaches up to the side of my face, brushing back my hair.
"Hey, you're back."
"I never left, I just didn't want to hang out with anyone else, I've been here every night while you were sleeping. The girls thought Ric had the night shift, but he camped out in an empty room thanks to his doctor lady friend," Damon explains, his forehead impossibly wrinkled with worry.
"I couldn't believe you'd leave me again, you promised," I offer a half-hearted smile. "Are you okay? I saw what Klaus did to you."
"You saw, what do you mean," Damon winces at the memory of that night. "How?"
"Esther, Klaus and Elijah's mother had me, had us…" I swallow, thinking of Stefan, knowing the hardest part of our conversation is still coming. "She did some magic thing that allowed us to see where you and Klaus were. I was so scared for you, Damon, he was killing you."
"But he didn't," Damon gives me a tight-lipped, humorless grin. "I'm here. Which is more than I can say for my brother but then he died to save you, didn't he?"
"She, Esther, was using our lives to kill Klaus. She had Stefan and I, plus a hybrid and a werewolf, all the elements of Klaus since the blood of my ancestor was what turned him into a vampire to begin with. She said that she couldn't promise that she wouldn't kill all of us but it was necessary in order to weaken Klaus and to save you. He was killing you, Damon." I pause for a second before rushing on with my story, "Stefan wanted to wait, to find another solution but Esther said this was the only time since Klaus was already distracted with you and you were about to die – Klaus was tired of waiting around. The hybrid died first, as she had warned us and I was going to follow up pretty quickly, I wasn't as strong as the others but then, oh God, I heard Stefan tell her to take him, to take all of him and leave me."
The tears are flowing down both our cheeks as we look at each other in silence. Damon's the first one to speak, "He died to save you, ever the hero."
"I don't think he fully did it for me, he knew you couldn't lose me and he could see…" I swallow, before continuing, "He could see that you were the one I loved. The one I love. He did it for both of us, so we would have each other."
"Well, isn't that convenient, my saintly little brother comes through at the last minute. Perfect Hail Mary play," Damon sounds bitter instead of sad or thankful.
"What are you talking about, Damon, it wasn't some play. He saved my life and he saved yours. He died for us."
"No, he died for you, Elena. He gave the ultimate sacrifice for you, he's the better man."
"Damon, what exactly were you about to do with Klaus? You would have died rather than give him what he wanted. You have always been willing to die for me and now you're mad because Stefan beat you to the punch. Not to mention he did it just as much for you!" I try to breathe calmly, hearing the pace pick up on my heart monitor. "Don't be so stubborn!"
"Don't be so blind, Elena," Damon spits out. "My brother died to save you and it's only a matter of time before you start to feel guilty for loving me when he's the one who gave it all for you. Eventually you'll fall for the ghost of him."
"That's what you think? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?" I don't even know where to begin to prove him wrong. I reach for his hand, pulling on it, tugging him closer to me.
"That's what I know," Damon sits on my bed, leaning forward so his arms are on either side of me, pressing into the bed at my hips. "Besides, a week ago you'd never even said that you loved me. It shouldn't be too hard to let me go."
"But that's just it, Damon, I do love you. You, not Stefan; whether or not he died for me, for you, or for both of us." I raise my hands to frame his face. "I love you, Damon Salvatore, I should have admitted it sooner, but don't hold my stupidity against me. Please."
His lips hover over mine, so close I can feel the breath I exhale being pushed back at me. His eyes are still glistening with tears and I wish I could do anything to keep his heart from hurting, to keep him from feel all this pain. His eyes close and he slips one of his arms behind me, pulling me to him, our lips finally meeting. But there is no passion in this kiss, not like the others that I've experienced with him. I run my fingers through his hair, hoping to ignite some spark in him. It does the trick and for an instant, the kiss deepens and our tongues come together and all seems right in my world again. But I can sense he's fighting with everything in him to not give in to his desires and I feel him pull away.
He whispers against my lips, "I can't, Elena, I can't lose both of you. I can't let my brother have died for nothing and he died because of his love for you, you just can't see that right now. But you will. He wins." Damon pulls back and stands up. "I won't leave you, Elena, but I can't love you. Not now, after all this. I can't do that to my brother."
And then he's gone and I can't say another thing. Can't tell him he's completely wrong. That this is not a game. Remind him that I am not a prize to be won. That his brother did die for nothing if we can't be together. That his misguided choices are ensuring that he loses both of us, he's the one who doesn't know it yet.
Sorry – I kind of meant to wrap this up but the story went a different direction – don't worry – I'm all Delena, all the way… I just want to serve the story.