* denotes host/symbiote internal communication
It is hours later when Rosha and Jolinar are returned to the cell. I think I have been unconscious for most of the time they have been gone. The fever is making it hard to focus.
I managed to force myself enough awake that I can see how my new friend is doing, though.
I am shocked when I see her. Rosha is worse, much worse. She and Jolinar has been tortured almost to death this time, and I doubt very much Jolinar can heal that much damage, despite how good healers the symbiotes seems to be.
"Rosha?" I ask, concerned.
"No... I am Jolinar. Rosha... is unconscious... and I... would rather she... stays that way. We are... in a lot... of pain." She coughs violently, and blood dribbles from her mouth.
"Jolinar," I say. "I... um... I'm sorry. About what happened... to you."
Jolinar makes a sound, somewhere between a cough and a snort. "It is not... your fault. You could not... have known. Only... only the Goa'uld..." she took a deep, rattling breath. "The Goa'uld... are to blame."
"I understand. Thanks." I close my eyes. I am having a hard time keeping them open.
The room has begun to feel like it is spinning, and I am feeling hotter than I ever have before - even that one time I had a really bad flu as a kid. I cough weakly, the pain from my ribs and damaged lung is now so bad that I can only take shallow breaths. Carefully.
Jolinar is quiet for a very long time, presumably doing her best to heal her host and herself - or maybe she has become unconscious. Suddenly Rosha speaks, startling me.
"Samantha..."
"Yes?" I say.
"Jolinar... cannot heal me. She... can only... keep us alive... for a little... longer. She may... may be able... heal you. If you... allow it."
"Uhh..." I frown, not sure what she means. Maybe she is hallucinating? T I realize what she means. She is suggesting I become Jolinar's host! I feel my heart beat faster.
Yes, I know from what my other self has told me, that Jolinar is Tok'ra... and that the Tok'ra can be good allies. But to become the host of one of them? They are biologically Goa'uld - have even admitted they are the same, even if they claim to be different philosophically.
Of course, Rosha seems to love her symbiote, to trust her, and to believe in this fight against the Goa'uld as much as Jolinar presumably does. That last part I can agree with. I have lost lost almost everyone I have loved or cared for to the Goa'uld.
Still, I am not sure I can do something like this. I mean, I would be sharing my mind with someone else, with an alien.
"You... hesitate. Understand...ably. You need... not fear. She... is fierce, but kind... she will... protect her host... above all else. She... is my best friend. Please... I beg you..."
I consider the situation I am in - it is unlikely I will survive for much longer without any sort of medical treatment. Even if I do, Cronus will probably kill me. In fact, he probably will anyway - even if I become a host. Maybe especially if I becaoe a host. The Tok'ra are hated by the Goa'uld.
Which is actually a very good reason to help one of them, despite everything. Besides, I do believe they are different than the Goa'uld. If they were not, why would there even be a need to ask for my consent? She could just take me as her host. .
"I'm badly injured - and some of my injuries have become infected. I have a high fever..."
Rosha is quiet for a long time, then Jolinar speaks. "Rosha has become... unconscious again." She takes a deep breath. "It is true. I... may not be able... to heal you. I am weak."
"But there's a chance."
"Yes. But understand... if I succeed... it will be... many months... at least. Before I am strong... enough... to leave you. Then... we may be blended..."
"So this would be... permanent. Yes, I got that. I expected that. Cronus will probably kill us... before that matters."
Jolinar makes a half-snort, half-laugh. "Very... possible. Then... this is perhaps not... relevant... but... I have mates."
"Mates? You mean, uh, like a husband - eh, husbands?" I ask, somewhat confused.
"Yes. Tok'ra - host and symbiote. I will never give them up. So, I guess I should ask you if you have a mate?"
"I see. We'll, I no longer have anyone special, so... well, I'll wait until it's relevant before I make a decision on that. If we live that long."
Jolinar is quiet for a moment. "Agreed. Though since we will blend, I should tell you..." She coughs violently, and almost passes out. She spits out some blood. It takes a while before she is able to talk again. "We... should blend... im...mediately. There... is very... little time..."
"What... what should I do?" I suddenly feel terrified, but try to force myself to be calm.
"Can you... come closer? We blend... through the mouth."
I cry out from the pain when I roll over on my side, but I succeed. I scoot a little closer, and lean over Jolinar, opening my mouth. After a brief moment, Jolinar jumps into me, and I fall back, overwhelmed by a gagging sensation and pain in the back of my throat. Then all becomes black.
When I wake up, I am uncertain how long has passed - it might have been only moments, or it could have been hours. I am not even really sure if I am awake, or if I am dreaming.
I hear someone talking, but it is far away, and even if I concentrate, I can only just make out the words. Are there two people? Or is it three? They are talking together.
"The Tok'ra shol'vah is dead. Cronus will be pleased."
"Do we put her in the sarcophagus?"
"No, our lord wished her to be executed in this manner. We should merely dispose of the body."
"Can we be certain she did not escape to the other? Perhaps she took a new host?"
I feel someone turn me over on my side, and the pain in my ribs increased. I would have screamed, but I cannot even gasp... or move. I feel sluggish, as if my heart is barely pushing any blood around. The people talking beside me seems distant, dreamlike. I just wish they would leave, and let me sleep.
"No, there is no entry mark anywhere. Probably this one was too damaged. She appears dead as well."
"Good, then we can dispose of both of them at the same time. Lord Deimos informed me they had all the information they needed on the Tau'ri."
I feel myself being lift up and dragged, but soon everything fades around me and I lose consciousness again.
When I wake up again, the first thing I noticed is that the annoying buzzing from the light fixtures is gone.
For a moment, I wonder if they have fixed it, before opening my eyes and realizing I am no longer in the holding cell.
I no longer feel hot, as if I am burning up. The fever and the pain is gone, but my head feels strangely heavy. As if I have been drugged, perhaps, or maybe it is just a lingering effect of my high fever.
I sit up, carefully, and examine my body. My clothing is still bloody and torn, of course, but my leg looks normal, and my ribs are at most slightly sore. I can take a deep breath without feeling pain, and I take several, despite the air in the room smelling bad. It is wonderful to be well again, though I must admit I am puzzled. Did they decide to put me in the sarcophagus anyway?
I stretch and look around, wondering what has happened to my cell mate. Or the holding cell, for that matter. It is clear I have been moved somewhere else.
The room I am in now is not much larger than the cell was, and it is dimly lit. It is bare of any furniture, but it holds several crates and boxes, as well as undefinable piles of junk. Something in here smells bad - like burned electronics combined with something more organic.
Among all the stuff, I also see pieces of broken and twisted metal - perhaps some of it might have been part of the interior of the ship, but it has clearly been damaged. Had that happened in the attack the other SG teams had made? Jolinar and Rosha had mentioned they had managed to set off one explosion, at least.
That is when I remember what has happened. Jolinar! I am now a host! Why do I not sense this Jolinar? I would have thought you would feel their presence?
I concentrate, and try to 'feel' for her. Doing so, I believe I sense a faint presence, which becomes a little stronger as I 'touch' it.
*I am here.* Jolinar tells me, her voice sounding weak, and sleepy. It still startles me.
"Are... are you all right?" I ask, not sure what else to say. The sensation of having someone inside your head, talking to you, is weird. To say the least.
*Do not speak out loud - we may call unwanted attention. Yes, I will be 'all right' - though right now I am very weak, and need to rest some more.*
*That's good.* I manage to speak internally this time. It is weird. Another thing which is weird, is that I feel very much relieved to hear Jolinar will be fine. While I was uncertain if blending was a good idea, I thought it might be better than being completely alone, at least. Having Jolinar with me feels... reassuring, somehow. Strange, but I trust her completely already. *I wonder where we are, and why we are not in the cell?*
*I agree, it is strange. I do not know where this is.*
I get up from the floor where I have been lying, and immediately see Rosha's body. I gasp out loud, the ache I feel intensified by emotions not my own. *Rosha!* I hurry to her.
*She is dead.* Jolinar observed, pain in her voice. *My poor, sweet Rosha.*
All of a sudden, I feel completely overwhelmed by Jolinar's feelings of sorrow. She had loved her host so very much.
*Oh, god...* I feel tears well into my eyes, and I have to put an arm out to the wall to support myself.
*Sorry, I did not mean to let them affect you.* Jolinar quickly blocks her emotions from affecting me. That feels even weirder, than having her feelings affect me. All of a sudden, these emotions which feel like my own, are just turned off.
*No, it's okay. I'm sorry about what happened to her.* I lean down and check Rosha's pulse, even if I know she is dead. *I wonder why she's here too?*
I suddenly get a strange feeling... as if someone is rummaging around in my mind.
*Forgive me. I was examining your recent memories. You were awake, briefly, shortly after I had entered you.*
*So that was real! I wasn't sure if I hallucinated.*
*Normally you would not have been awake at that point, but I was so weak that I lost consciousness immediately after entering you. Since neither blending or healing had been initiated, you were able to wake up. However, it seems I had control, even unconsciously. I apologize. It must have been... disquieting for you, so soon after becoming a host.*
*Nah, I was too feverish to really realize what was going on. Though, does that mean the Jaffa thought we were dead?*
*Yes, I suspect your pulse was very faint due to your weakness, and since you did not react at all, they thought you were dead. It was our... luck, that Cronus had merely ordered us disposed of. This is most likely a place where various kinds of... garbage is placed, before it is taken care of. There seems to be two - presumably dead - Jaffa over there.*
I go and check on them, carefully. *They're dead, yes.*
*We should find a way out of here. The door is unlikely to be locked, but may not have been constructed to be opened from the inside, without a portable handle.* Jolinar is quiet for a moment. *I would wish to find a way of disposing respectfully of Rosha's body. I do not want Cronus's Jaffa to merely... throw it to dogs, or something like that.*
*I understand. We'll find a way.* I promise. It is suddenly very important to me.
*Do the Jaffa have anything useful on them still? Like a weapon?*
*I'll check... sure you don't want control?*
*No, I will take control if I must, but I honestly prefer to wait until I have rested, and regained strength. Besides, you may wish to get used to having me in control slowly.*
*Maybe so...* I agree, grateful. Suddenly worried, I ask, *Jolinar, are you okay? You were more badly injured than I thought?*
*I was injured extensively by the torture, yes, and that made it harder for me to change hosts, meaning I was injured by that as well. Add to that weakness from trying to heal and keep Rosha alive, and healing you... yes, I am not well. I will live, though, and I will also regain my health and strength. It will, however, take weeks before I am there - and many months, at least, before I can change hosts.*
I nod, kneeling beside the first of the dead Jaffa. Strangely, it does not bother me... that I am stuck with Jolinar. *You should rest, then. I'll... call you, I guess... when I need you.*
*I shall rest - but not until we are safely out of here.*
*Don't you trust me?* I know I sound hurt, but I feel that way.
*Yes, I do, never worry about that! However, you have never been aboard a Goa'uld ha'tak before. I have. I know vastly more about the schematics, as well as about the technology. It is logical that I remain awake - until you are able to access my mind easier.*
*Access your mind?* I ask, as I search the Jaffa.
*Yes. Now when we are blended, you will be able to search my memories, as well as your own. It becomes easier over time, though, and you would not be able to do it quickly enough right now.*
*Okay. Sounds... interesting.* Very interesting - as well as more than a little strange, actually. I finish checking the Jaffa. *Nothing - no weapons or anything. Not even a knife.*
*No, it was to be expected. The Jaffa have their own funeral rites, and the only reason they are left in here would be if they had died in dishonour, so they would not be allowed those rites. Usually, the weapons are left on their bodies, and only removed just before they are burned. The knife remains with them in death. It is... part of Jaffa mythology, which I do not know much about.*
*Right. Makes sense, I guess, since they're a warrior culture.* I go to the other Jaffa, and check him too. *It's too bad they are both huge - we won't be able to steal their clothes. I guess we could have pretended to be a Jaffa?*
*Yes, but Cronus does not use female Jaffa as warriors, so we would need different clothing in any case.*
*Oh, okay.* I pick up a small device from the Jaffa's clothes. *What is this?*
*It is used for starting a fire.*
*That could help us! If a fire were to break out in here, wouldn't the doors open, you think?*
*No, on the contrary. The ship's automatic systems would seal off the area, sound the alarm, and initiate automatic fire extinguishing measures - which includes extinguishing the oxygen in the area. Not something we want.*
*Ah, no, that's for sure. However, I noticed Cronus have those braziers standing everywhere, and they seem to like torches as well, in addition to the electrical light. How does that work?*
*All Goa'uld have those - it is... meant to create the right 'mood', I suppose. The system is programmed to recognize those.* Jolinar is quiet for a moment. *We can probably use the small powersource in the firestarter, but we need a couple other components to create something that can open the door. We also need a weapon, or at least some way of concealing ourselves.*
*I'll check the piles of junk - it smells like some sort of electronics was burnt, so maybe there's something we can use there.*
*Perhaps, I recognize part of a control console, however, the control mechanism itself would be crystal based, rather than how it is on your world. Any whole crystals would have been salvaged.*
*Let's take a look before we decide it's futile, shall we?*
*Of course.*