A/N: Finally. I thought I'd never make it. This chapter was so difficult to write, but I've done it, and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. I hope you'll be, too. I realise this part is a bit longish, but I'm sure you won't mind! ;-)

Thanks for all the reviews I got, especially for the review from KayMarie. It was very inspiring.

I hope you'll enjoy it!

Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga and all its characters are property of Stephenie Meyer!

16. FAMILY

BELLA

I was dreaming.

I had to be dreaming. This simply wasn't true, couldn't be true, would never be true, because if it was, then nine years of pain and misery and despair had been all for nothing, and I couldn't believe that. I didn't want to believe it, didn't want to believe that I'd suffered so much because he'd lied to me, because he'd made a decision that wasn't his to make.

I'd come to accept that he didn't love me anymore. How could I not want him to be happy when I still loved him so very much? I wouldn't want him to stay with me just because he was afraid leaving me would hurt me. I wasn't that selfish, and while it did hurt, had always hurt and would always hurt because I couldn't stop loving him, I'd known he was right, had known that, ultimately, his decision to was better for the both of us if he truly didn't love me anymore.

And never, not even for a second, had it occurred to me that he would lie. Why would he? I'd never quite understood, maybe even refused to understand, how someone like Edward could love someone like me, and while his breaking up with me had been so very, very painful, it hadn't surprised me, not really. He was a vampire, and I'd been a clumsy human girl, and maybe he'd never have noticed me if my blood hadn't called out to him. Maybe he'd never really loved me for who I was, but only because of my blood whose scent had been so much more potent to him than to any other member—with the possible exception of Jasper—of his family.

And when he realised that, when he realised that I didn't mean as much to him as he thought I did, he'd ended it, and I couldn't fault him for it. I never had. And I'd never allowed myself to believe that he'd lied, because it would have been too painful, because you didn't lie to the people you loved, didn't hurt them that cruelly, and because I'd always have hoped that he'd come back to me, and if I had, I wouldn't have been able to go on with my life. And so I hadn't. And while, on occasion, I'd still woken up screaming, having relived that horrible night in my dreams once again, I knew I'd had my life under control. Edward didn't love me anymore, had left me and would never come back, and that's just how it was, so I'd accepted it in the end. What else could I have done?

And so this had to be a dream, because if it wasn't, then everything I'd believed in for nine years had been a lie. But I was a vampire. I couldn't sleep, couldn't dream, hadn't been able to for almost two years, and realisation hit me so hard every cell in my body seemed to explode with pain that was a million times worse than the agony of my change.

It wasn't a dream.

"Bella," Edward whispered, his voice distressed. I saw my own pain mirrored in his eyes, and I could guess how much leaving me had hurt him, but how could I possibly care about that? He'd decided to leave. He'd hurt us both. I'd wanted him to stay, had wanted to be with him. That's what I'd always wanted. But he'd left me, because he'd wanted to protect me—and I knew that Esme had been right, knew that this had to have been his reason for leaving me, because he'd always been so very protective—because he wouldn't have been able to bear losing me, and so he'd removed himself from the equation, hoping that, without him, I'd be able to live a normal, human life.

How could he have believed that I would?

If only he'd changed me then. I'd been ready. I'd have left everything behind, knowing I wouldn't be able to live, to exist, without him. But he hadn't. Instead, he'd left, putting us both through hell because he hadn't wanted to condemn me to a life like this, and while I hadn't understood then I understood now, but I also knew that if I hadn't been alone, that if he'd been with me when it happened and afterwards, it wouldn't have mattered. Because I couldn't exist without him. It was as simple as that. And while I would never be so selfish to hold on to someone, refuse to let that someone go and hurt him, he'd been selfish. He'd left me so he wouldn't lose me, never mind that in the end he'd lose me anyway, because my days had been numbered even then. Never mind the pain he'd cause me or himself. He might have been prepared to deal with it, but I hadn't. And why should I have? I loved him. I'd wanted to stay with him. I'd have left everything behind for him.

Why hadn't he been able to accept that?

I saw him reaching out to me, and even though a part of me craved for his touch even now, I stepped back on uncertain legs, swaying like a flower in the breeze. He betrayed me. I took another step, my legs heavy as lead, while agonising pain was roaring inside my body. He betrayed me. Another step. I remembered how to turn around, stumbling as I did. I had to leave, had to get away from him. He betrayed me. A third step. I willed myself to move faster, but my brain was refusing to work properly. Instead, I suddenly found myself on the ground, stomach rolling. I wasn't feeling sick, not exactly. I felt it clench, and then, for one terrible moment and even though I didn't even need air to survive, I thought I was suffocating as bile rose in my throat. Leaning forward, I choked and coughed, and suddenly a fountain of blood spilled onto the snow, blood and venom from my stomach, and it tasted like acid. I tried to swallow, tried to fight it back down, but I couldn't. I coughed and coughed and coughed, the puddle of blood in front of me slowly congealing even as it grew, dark and ugly against the immaculateness of the snow. I felt Edward stand motionless beside me, felt his eyes on me, and I wanted to scream at him to make it stop, because it was his fault, because everything was his fault, but I couldn't, just as I couldn't stop choking up blood, much, much more than I'd have thought possible.

And then, just as suddenly as it had come, the urge to vomit passed. I drew a trembling breath, half expecting my throat to be raw and sensitive—as it had always been after I was sick as a human—but it wasn't, and if I hadn't been able to smell the blood that I'd gotten on my clothes and in my hair, I might have thought I'd only imagined it.

I sat back, breathing heavily, not sure what had just happened. I'd never heard of a vampire being sick, because, as far as I knew, vampires didn't get ill; they couldn't because, technically, their bodies were dead, and no virus, no bacterium could infect a dead organism. Even if it had been possible, the venom running in our veins, in our tissue was just that: venom and therefore lethal. Fear trickled into my mind. If I wasn't sick, then what was wrong with me?

I glanced up at Edward, who met my gaze levelly, and if his expression wasn't exactly relaxed, then it wasn't worried either, and relief washed through me, relief so great it made me realise how afraid I'd truly been, for if something were wrong, then it would have shown in his face. I knew that with absolute certainty. Fear, yes, there was fear in his eyes. He tried to hide it, because he didn't want me to see it; he'd always been very restrained where his emotions were concerned. I saw it anyway, because I knew him so well and knew what to look for, but I was certain—I wasn't sure why; I just was—that it was my reaction he was afraid of, my reaction to what he'd just revealed to me.

I wanted to reach out to him, wanted to comfort him and tell him that it was going to be alright—but I didn't, because I couldn't. If he'd come back to me, because he'd realised that he still loved me after all, things might have been different. I wouldn't have flung myself into his arms, because I was older now, because I wasn't the same girl he'd left that night in the forest, and because he'd hurt me. We'd have had to work on it, but I was certain that, in the end, we'd have figured it out.

But he hadn't come back to me because he'd realised he still loved me. In fact, he hadn't come back to me at all; his moving to Anchorage had been completely coincidental. And he hadn't left me because he didn't loved me anymore. He'd wanted to protect me, and that's why he'd left. That's why he'd lied. And—I didn't know if I could ever forgive the lie, forgive him for hurting me the way he had.

"You lied?" I asked, my voice rougher than I'd expected. I coughed to clear it, then rose to my feet, slowly because my legs still felt wobbly, hand in front of my mouth; I didn't know what else to do with it. "You lied…" I said again. I didn't know what else to say. I didn't know what to do, either, because I wasn't sure what I wanted. I could have him back, but I'd have to accept that he'd lied, had to forgive him, and as much as I loved him, I couldn't.

"Bella," he said, and I forced myself to meet his golden eyes, "I'm sorry." He fell silent after that, probably because he, too, realised there was nothing he could say. I believed that he was sorry, but that didn't change anything. How could it? How could those words take back the pain he'd caused me? How could those words erase two, no, nine years of misery and despair and loneliness?

A wolf suddenly howled in the distance, and I instantly thought of Jake. I missed him so much, and I hoped Sam hadn't come down on him too hard for disobeying his orders. If only he was here… I knew what he'd have told me if he was. Send him away, he'd have said—after giving me a piece of his mind first, of course, and trying to rip Edward's head off.

He'd have been right. He was right.

And so I made my decision.

"Leave me alone," I said, fighting the urge to wrap my arms around my chest as pain tore at my silent heart once more. "Leave me alone, Edward, and don't ever come back." I turned and left without waiting for an answer, because I was afraid that if I did, I might not be able to walk away. I loved him, and I'd never stop loving him, but I couldn't forgive him.

And as I walked through the forest, trying to keep the pieces of my aching heart together, I knew I'd done the right thing.

—

Morning came, and I went to work as if nothing had happened, hoping that being busy would distract me, if only a little. Last night's conversation kept replaying itself in my head, and I wanted to turn it off so badly I would have done anything to make it stop since sleeping, unfortunately, wasn't an option. I couldn't be tired; it was impossible, and yet I felt terribly exhausted.

I didn't want to feel that way. Angry. I wanted to be angry. I should have been angry, but I wasn't. I was disappointed and tired and hurt, but I wasn't angry. I couldn't be. I couldn't hate him either, though I supposed things would have been easier if I could. He'd betrayed me, and still I couldn't hate him. I knew why he'd done it, knew that his intentions had been honourable, and while I thought he'd made a mistake, a mistake that had almost destroyed us both, I couldn't hate him for it.

But I couldn't forgive him, either. I wouldn't forgive him. Not now. Maybe never.

If only I could have stopped thinking about him. I hadn't allowed him into my thoughts before, afraid of the pain evoking memories of what we'd had together—what we'd never have again—would certainly have caused. Would have caused, for now I knew that he still loved me, that he'd never stopped loving me.

And I'd walked away. What else could I have done? I wasn't the kind of woman who ran back to the man that had hurt her, broken her, just because she was too weak to walk away. I wasn't weak. I didn't want to be weak, and so I'd walked away. But that didn't change the way I felt about him. I'd always feel that way about him, and I was tired of it, was tired of the fact that Edward still had so much influence about my life and about my emotions.

Work was quiet today, but you had to thank God for small favours. Danielle, sensing that I wasn't in the mood for small talk, barely spoke to me, and that was just as well, because I doubted I would have managed to produce even a single coherent sentence. Victoria hadn't sent me another 'gift' either, for which I was profoundly grateful; I didn't want to have to deal with her today. I'd have to face her soon enough, and while I wasn't stupid enough to think that she had given up—in fact, she was probably busy plotting—I tried not to dwell on that fact too much. Not now. Not today.

Yes, I was being stupid. I shouldn't have put my own problems first, but I couldn't help it. I felt like wallowing, so that's what I did.

In the afternoon I performed an autopsy on the body of a little boy the hospital had sent down early that morning, and though it would have bothered me on any other day, today I didn't; I was too distracted to care. Danielle noticed, too, but she didn't broach the subject until it was time to leave, cornering me in my office.

"You got a minute?" she asked, clutching her bag as she slid in the chair in front of my desk. I didn't have to look up to see how nervous she was; her heart was racing so fast I half expected it to jump right out of her chest. I swallowed a sigh as I realised what that meant, and I was beginning to wish I'd stayed at home after all—it hadn't done much good, anyway.

"Sure," I replied, forcing my lips into a smile. "What is it?" I knew, of course—well, suspected—why she'd decided to talk to me after all. Danielle didn't know about Edward, for which I was profoundly grateful, because I didn't want to talk about him, but there was something else I didn't want to talk about, either, not right now and not with her, and that was Victoria. Danielle didn't have a clue how close she'd come to the truth, and I certainly wasn't going to tell her, but I wasn't stupid enough to believe that I'd succeeded in convincing her that the murdered women that happened to look like me, the killed children that shared part of my name had nothing to do with me.

When I left so suddenly yesterday, she'd been worried. I'd have been, too, I assumed, because I'd had a chance to glance at my reflection in the mirror while Esme was waiting for me, and I'd looked like hell; there really was no other way to describe it. I'd told her what I'd told everyone else: that I wasn't feeling well and was going home, but as we'd autopsied Victoria's latest victim only an hour before, it was entirely possible that Danielle had come to the conclusion that this was why I'd really left. Which wasn't that far off from the truth.

However, touched as I was by the fact that she liked me enough to worry about me, that didn't change a thing, and I was sick of having to keep lying to her, of having to come up with excuses when she was right. Lying had become a part of my life the day I was changed, but I tried to tell the truth whenever I could, not because I couldn't keep track of what I'd told whom, but because one day my entire life would be a lie, so I wanted to stick to the truth for as long as I could. Maybe that was stupid. I had so many secrets to keep that another lie, even a whole bunch of lies, shouldn't have bothered me, but it did. I didn't know exactly why that was. Maybe because even after two years I still hadn't accepted what I'd become.

"You seem distracted," Danielle said, completely oblivious to my inner reasoning, "and I just wanted to make sure that you're alright. Are you feeling better?"

"I'm not feeling sick anymore if that's what you mean," I replied, then stood up to retrieve my bag from where I'd dropped it this morning and began collecting my belongings that, hoping that would dissuade her from asking any more questions I probably wouldn't be able to answer truthfully.

"And," I could feel her eyes following me as I put on my coat, the one Alice had purchased for me, and wrapped the dusky pink scarf I'd found on my coat rack this morning—Alice again—around my neck, "have you thought about what I said?" I could hear her heart beat even faster, could feel the heat of her blush, and knew what she was referring to.

I refused to play along. "I have no idea what you're talking about." I shot her a quick glance, throwing in a confused smile for good measure, and switched off my computer before I put my bag over my shoulder. Danielle quickly got up, taking the hint, and her blush deepened. It didn't bother me at all today, despite the fact that last night—for whatever reason; maybe because I'd been in shock—I seemed to have spit out most of the blood I'd drunk before. Locking the door, I smiled at her again as I said good bye, then turned and hurried down the hallway to get away before she worked up the courage to follow me and ask me again.

Entering the garage, however, I almost turned around again, deciding that talking to Danielle wasn't so bad after all. It was definitely better than talking to Alice, who sat cross-legged on the hood of my Porsche, a smile on her face she probably believed to look innocent. It didn't, not even remotely. "You," I said, narrowing my eyes. "What do you want?"

"That's how you greet your best friend?" Alice replied, arching her eyebrows in fake consternation.

"That," I retorted, "is how I greet the friend who didn't tell me that her brother lied." I'd decided that Alice must have known that Edward had lied. She couldn't have not known, because she would have seen his decision to do what he had, but she hadn't told me, and she should have. That's what friends did. They told each other the truth.

Alice's shoulders slumped a little, but her eyes were defiant as she jumped off the hood to lean against the frame of the car instead. "I didn't tell you," she said quietly, "because he's as much my brother as you are my sister. I love you both, and I would never ever do anything to hurt either of you. I'm sorry that I did, but Edward had to tell you himself. It wouldn't have been right if I had. And," she added, "I'm not here to talk about that."

I frowned. "You're not?"

Alice slipped into the passenger's seat, and my frown deepened as confusion, and suspicion, sparked inside my mind.

What was she up to now?

"No, I'm not. I'm here to pick you up, and we're already running a little late, so if you could hurry up…" Patting the empty seat beside her, she gestured for me to get into the car. I didn't move. No good had ever come out of Alice picking me up unannounced. Alice rolled her eyes. "Fine," she said in a voice that told me she'd hoped she wouldn't have to explain. I smothered a grin. She should have known better. "We're going to pick up Rosalie and Emmett."

I stared at her, the grin, or what was left of it, wiped off my face. She couldn't possibly be serious, could she? Rosalie and I had never liked each other—which was putting it mildly—and I was fairly confident that that hadn't changed. I wasn't exactly sure what I'd ever done to her, because I'd never even talked to her that much, and Edward had never told me. Then again, I hadn't asked him. "She hates me," I said eventually.

Alice sighed. "She doesn't hate you. She doesn't particularly like you, but she doesn't hate you."

"That changes everything, of course," I replied sarcastically. "Now get out of the car. I'm not coming to the airport with you."

Alice didn't move. I glared at her, which didn't impress her nearly as much as I thought it should. She simply folded her arms in front of her chest, looking quite unmovable. "Look," she began, "I know you don't care much for her either, but you're part of our family now, and you have to learn to get along."

Resting my hands on the frame of the open door, I ground my teeth together in frustration. Alice knew which buttons to press, especially when she had a point. I wasn't exactly sure why I was so opposed to meeting Rosalie again. I wasn't afraid of her anymore, and as I didn't care what people thought about me as a general rule—my three-month stint as a surgeon after which I'd never set foot in an OR again had cured me of that—it didn't really bother me that she didn't like me. But that didn't mean that I'd enjoy being in her vicinity, and I was pretty sure I wouldn't. I knew I was being childish, but I couldn't help it.

"Come on," Alice said, her voice less than patient. "I've already seen you at the airport."

"You just say that so you don't have to argue with me," I replied frostily.

Alice's eyes went wide. "I would never do that," she said, but her innocent tone didn't fool me for a second. I knew her too well. Unfortunately, that didn't change the fact that she was right. About Rosalie and me having to learn to get along, at least. It was just that right now, with everything that was going on, I didn't want to have to deal with Rosalie, too. Most of the times, I managed to hang on to my temper fairly well. I rarely lost it, not like Edward, who, for all the calm and confidence he radiated, was set off easily, at least where I was concerned. He'd proven that just last night when he'd almost ripped Jasper's head off for a suggestion he hadn't even been about to make. I was different. I was patient, and being a vampire hadn't changed that. But I also knew from experience that I reacted to stress, and while as human I hadn't been able to wreak much havoc—I'd once thrown an empty plastic bottle at Olivia a week before the finals where everybody's nerves had been stretched thin, and that was the worst I had ever done—I could now, and I'd never been under as much stress as I was now. And losing my temper in front of Rosalie wasn't very high on my priority list. She'd never let it forget me, and she'd only hate—fine, dislike—me all the more for it.

So no, coming to the airport with Alice wasn't a very good idea. But when I tried to explain that to her, she just waved her hand in dismissal. "Please, Rosalie will probably lose her temper before you do."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "And that's supposed to make me feel better?"

"Yes, actually," Alice replied. "It'll be fine, I promise. Now get in the car."

"You're very bossy," I muttered. I slipped into the car, trying very hard to ignore Alice's triumphant grin at succeeding in getting me to do what she wanted once again. I decided that I'd have to work on that if I didn't want to set a bad precedent—any more than I already had, that was.

—

I kept telling myself that Alice had a point as we met up with Carlisle and Jasper in the arrival hall, hoping it would made me feel better, but it didn't. Alice took Jasper's hand and led him the rows of grey seats, four of them and almost every single seat was empty, where they sat down, Alice curling up against Jasper's side in a position that couldn't have possibly been comfortable—or wouldn't have been for a human. I felt a pang of jealousy in my stomach, because I didn't know if I'd ever have again what they had, but I smothered it and turned away. I didn't want to be pining over Edward, not after what he'd done to me, and I wouldn't.

Suddenly, meeting Rosalie didn't seem like such a bad idea anymore. I'd probably change my mind again the second I saw her face and the murderous expression she was sure to look at me with, but right now I needed a distraction, which Rosalie would definitely provide.

"Has he told you the truth?" Carlisle asked quietly.

My shoulders stiffened almost automatically, and he added quickly, "I don't mean to pry, and it's perfectly alright if you don't want to talk about it since it's none of my business. I just wanted to make sure, and I have now." He smiled. "I'm sorry he put you through this and I wish that he hadn't."

"May I ask you a question?" The sentence was out before I was even sure I wanted to know. It hadn't occurred to me before to ask the question I was about to ask, and it should have. Then again, I had so much on my mind right now that it was understandable, and I'd been so relieved. Still, I should have asked.

Carlisle quirked an eyebrow at me, inviting me to continue.

I bit my lips as I tried to find the right words. "When you left Forks," I began eventually, my voice hesitant because I wasn't sure Carlisle would want to talk about it, "when Edward asked you to leave and not to contact me again, why did you do as he said? If you loved me so much, then why did you never come back? I needed you. All of you." I whispered those last words. I'd been so relieved when Esme had told me that they'd always loved me, that they'd only left because Edward had asked them to that I'd never even asked why they had, why they had done as Edward had said.

Carlisle was silent for a very long time. The arrival hall was beginning to fill up, but as it was almost past nine there weren't as many people as there could have been, for which I was glad. I usually tried to avoid larger crowds, because, for one thing, I still didn't feel too comfortable around so many humans yet, and, for another, I found it hard to process so many scents and sounds, many of them unpleasant, to say the least. It made me edgy, and tonight I couldn't afford to be edgy.

Maybe that's what I should have told Alice in order to get out of this, I thought sourly.

"It wasn't easy," Carlisle said finally, and my attention snapped back to him, Rosalie temporarily wiped from my mind. "We do love you, Bella. I can only imagine what it must have felt like to be abandoned like that, and I'm sorry we put you through this. We all knew Edward was making a mistake, but…" He paused, and suddenly I wasn't sure if I wanted him to continue, wasn't sure if I'd like what he had to say. Surely there was a better time for this.

I was a coward.

"But at the time you were his responsibility," Carlisle continued, oblivious to my fears, "and the decision was also his. We thought he'd come to his senses. I realise now that we shouldn't have given in. If we hadn't, things might have been... easier."

"That's it?" I asked. "You never contacted me because you thought he'd change his mind?"

"It's not much of an excuse, and I know that, but it's not supposed to be. It's the facts."

My eyes dropped to the ground, wishing I hadn't asked. I couldn't deny that it hurt, though I knew, at least, intellectually, there was no reason for it. But I couldn't turn off that spark of pain inside my chest, no matter how hard I tried, that little voice in my head that kept insisting that maybe I hadn't meant so much to them after all. It was stupid, but knowing that didn't change how I was feeling.

It was a pity a vampire's psyche worked differently, because I could have used some therapy.

"I'm sorry," Carlisle said, pulling me into an embrace, which I knew now was a rare show of affection for him. I hugged him back just to have something to hold on to. "It wasn't my intention to hurt you."

"I know that," I whispered. "It's just… Maybe it's just too much right now. I have no idea what to do about Victoria, and then there's Edward…" I drew a deep breath. "And I don't really want to be here right now," I said with a quick glance at Alice, who dropped her gaze when our eyes met. "I don't want to meet Rosalie. Not now."

"Well," Carlisle replied, "I can't guarantee that she'll behave, but it's your decision what you want to put up with. Don't let her get to you. She's been difficult since we left Forks. That's not your fault, and don't let her tell you otherwise. It's just the way she is."

I smiled up and him and straightened out of his embrace. "Thanks for saying that."

"It's the truth," he said, smiling as well. Taking my elbow, he led me to where Alice and Jasper were sitting. By now the flight, which had been delayed by almost an hour—we'd been early despite Alice knowing that this was going to happen—had landed, and the passengers came filing through the large doors. Rosalie and Emmett were among the first and while Alice, Jasper and Carlisle went to meet them, I stayed back, hoping they wouldn't notice me immediately. Rosalie's expression didn't bode well. Anger twisted her beautiful features, and she almost instantly reminded me of an avenging angel. I swallowed, fear bubbling up in my stomach.

"It's good to have you back," Carlisle said as Emmett's hand came down on his shoulder by way of greeting. Rosalie, clutching her single bag so hard her knuckles stood out even whiter against her pale skin, didn't say a word. Ignoring both Alice and Jasper, she marched towards the exit, and I braced myself, half expecting my heart to start racing as it always had and finding it unnerving when it didn't. You can do this, I told myself, but then Rosalie finally saw me, and my resolve wavered.

She didn't just freeze. She stopped moving so suddenly and completely she might as well have turned into a statue, and her face went equally blank, but her body language spoke for itself. Her bag fell to the ground as her claws went rigid at her side, forming marble claws that could slice through stone. I didn't know if she actually realized she was preparing to attack me, but I didn't care much, and my own body responded to the challenge by slipping so into a defensive crouch ever so slightly. A growl rose in her throat, which caused Carlisle and Emmett to look around, the former alarmed, the latter visibly surprised when his eyes fell on me, even shocked.

I choked an answering growl back down and straightened. Rosalie finally seemed to realise what she was doing, and her body relaxed, but her expression grew murderous, her eyes ablaze with unrestrained fury. I didn't know what exactly I'd expected, but somehow I'd never imagined it like that. I forced myself to meet her gaze levelly, glad my heart could no longer betray me.

"You," Rosalie hissed through clenched teeth, followed by a vicious snarl that almost made me flinch. Jasper and Alice exchanged a quick look while Carlisle covered his face with his hand; he hadn't expected Rosalie to react that strongly. Emmett rolled his eyes, which he probably wouldn't have done if Rosalie hadn't had her back to him, and put his hands on her shoulders in order to calm her down. She tried to shake them off, but Emmett didn't relent. Instead he pulled her closer, a brave thing to do, I thought, since Rosalie looked as if she was about to claw his eyes out.

Still, I couldn't deny the fact that I was glad he was holding on to her. I was beyond glad I wasn't alone with her.

"Bella," Emmett said, a broad grin on his face. "Carlisle told me he had a surprise for us, but I thought it was something along the lines of a new car."

"I hope you're not too disappointed," I replied, managing a small smile. Rosalie snorted, but Emmett ignored her, so I tried to do the same. While I'd never missed Rosalie, I had missed Emmett. He was an uncomplicated as Alice and easy to love, the bigger brother I'd never had.

"Nope," he assured me. "You're a whole lot better than a new car."

Rosalie's lips tightened, and so did Emmett's hands on her shoulders.

"Thanks," I said and was relieved when Carlisle began herding us towards the exist. Alice picked up Rosalie's bag and slung it over her shoulder, because Emmett still hadn't let go of his wife, and winked at me. I glared back at her, which she ignored. Yes, it hadn't gone as bad as it could have despite the potential for disaster Rosalie and me being in the same room held. But that didn't mean I'd enjoyed it, and I hadn't. I couldn't wait to be home. I decided I'd go for a run to release all that pent-up frustration and make use of the fact that I didn't have to leave the state in order to do so anymore.

Unfortunately, Alice had other plans.

"I'll be riding with Jasper," she announced once we were in the garage where I'd parked the Porsche just two spots down from Carlisle's Mercedes. Jasper looked at her uncomfortably, which she pretended not to notice. I didn't realise immediately what that meant, but when I did I barely managed to keep myself from lunging at Alice's throat. Had she lost her mind? My Porsche wasn't big enough for someone like Emmett to fit into, which only left Rosalie or Carlisle, and it was obvious who Alice had in mind. Carlisle seemed doubtful, too, and Rosalie was opening her mouth to protest, but Alice spoke before any of us could say a word, "No," she said, "I'm sorry, but as I told you," she looked at me, her expression that of a teacher who caught one of her students cheating, "you have to learn to get along." Her eyes flickering to Rosalie, she continued, "Bella's part of this family now. Nobody expects you to become friends, but this," she gestured first at Rosalie whose teeth were bared, then at me, and I quickly swallowed the growl that was rising in my throat, "doesn't work."

Carlisle sighed. "Alice is right," he said, though it was obvious that he wished he wouldn't have to agree. "With all that's going on right now, we can't afford to be… quarrelling."

"Fine," I said, trying to sit on my temper which was threatening to get the better of me as anger boiled up in my chest. What was Alice thinking? I couldn't believe she'd seen a positive outcome for this, and for some reason, maybe because her expression was a bit nervous, I suspected she hadn't. And she still wanted to go through with this?

Unlocking my car, I slipped into the driver's seat and took a deep breath to calm myself as I waited for Rosalie to get into the car. I couldn't believe I'd agreed to this. I hadn't been angry before, but now I was, because whatever Rosalie was going to say to me, it couldn't possibly be nice. I wanted to scream at Alice for doing this to me when I was already under so much stress, but I ground my teeth together instead, promising myself that I wouldn't talk to her for at least a month.

Rosalie climbed into the car beside me, radiating so much hostility I had to fight the urge to move away from her, at least as far as my seat belt would allow. I didn't know where exactly the Cullens' house was located since I hadn't been there yet and I hoped it wasn't far. Carlisle waved at me as he, Jasper and Alice went to get into his Mercedes. Emmett stuck his head into the car, a sympathetic smile on his face. "See you later, Bella," he said, pecking me on the cheek at which Rosalie bristled—the nerve of him!—before joined the rest of his family.

Rosalie did't say anything as I drove out of the garage. Late as it was, the streets were emptier than they'd been two hours ago, and I stepped on it, the Mercedes quickly disappearing behind me as it wasn't fast enough to keep up with me. I wanted to drop off Rosalie as fast as possibly; every second we spend together was a second I got closer to losing my temper.

"You have to tell me where to go," I said eventually. I didn't particularly like the fact that I had to ask her for directions, but since I'd had plenty of time to ask Carlisle that was entirely my own fault. Rosalie told me rather curtly, then fell silent again. It wasn't until we were already out of Anchorage that she finally spoke. "So," she sneered, her beautiful voice more than hostile, "you're here."

Was I supposed to respond to that? I clenched my teeth together and concentrated on the road more than really necessary.

"I see you've managed to talk someone into changing you, after all."

Whatever I'd expected her to say—it wasn't that. It caught me by surprise so completely I didn't move, didn't even breathe for five seconds, then my hands tightened around the steering wheel, and venom began pooling in my mouth, its taste as bitter and ugly as Rosalie's words.

"How dare you?" I whispered, forcing myself to swallow back the venom. "How dare you even suggest I'd do this to me voluntarily? I was happy. I was as happy as I was going to be without Edward when Victoria changed me. She destroyed my life. I'm a doctor, Rosalie. I specialised in emergency medicine. I haven't entered an ER for almost two years," I decided I'd better not tell her about yesterday's almost accident; it was none of her business, "and I loved my job. Do you know what I do for a living now? I cut up dead people. If I could turn back time, I would." I drew a deep breath. "Believe me, I would. I don't know what I've ever done to you to make you hate me so much, but you have no right to insult me like that."

I didn't know what would have happened if we hadn't reached the Cullens' home by then. I braked so hard the car whined in protest, and Rosalie was out of the car faster than I could blink, slamming the door shut so hard I felt the frame's vibrations in my bones. I yanked the steering wheel around and stepped on the accelerator, and snow exploded in every direction as the car lurched forward, but, unfortunately, none of it hit Rosalie. Backing out of the Cullens's drive, which was enclosed by walls of snow like the Denali's had been, I barely paid attention to my surroundings.

I had to get out of here.

—

I ditched the car barely half a mile from the Cullens' home, driving it so deep into the snow piled up on either side of the road I'd probably have to lift it out later. Slamming the door shut, I started running without paying much attention to where I was going as long as it put as much distance as possible between Rosalie and me. I was aiming for the woods that surrounded the Cullens' home, and I hit the tree line barely half a second after I'd gotten out of the car.

I couldn't believe that she'd actually said what she'd said. How could she even suggest I'd do this to myself? I knew that back in Forks I'd all but begged Edward to change me, but then becoming a vampire had been the only chance to be with him forever. Rosalie had to know that. But maybe she didn't care how and why I'd become a vampire, because the outcome was the same. I wouldn't just go away again, which meant she wouldn't get rid of me ever again, and she just had to hate that fact. If only I knew what I'd done to make her hate me so much. I'd try to make it up to her. I didn't need her to like me, but I didn't want her to despise me, either, not when we had to spend the next few of centuries together.

Deep into the woods, I paused. It was silent, a silence I'd grown accustomed to, as every living being in its right mind skedaddled as fast as it possibly could when I was near. Sometimes I missed the sounds of the forest, or what I'd heard of them as a human, the singing of the birds, twigs cracking and leaves rustling with the movement of the animals living here. The silence was so complete, so unnatural that, in the beginning, I'd found it unnerving. Now, I supposed, I would have found it strange if I had heard something, and I was revelling in the stillness of my surroundings as I tried to sort out my tangled thoughts.

A twig crack not too far away, and I spun around. I saw nothing but hundreds of trees rising into the violet night sky, their branches laden with snow, and the shrubbery surrounding their trunks was dusted with snow, though not nearly half as much, as well. Nothing moved, and the forest lay as silent as before. Only the wind was whispering quietly through the trees.

My body went very still. There was no wind. The trees around me sat unmoving in the darkness, and when I finally recognised the sound for what it was, I'd lost valuable seconds. I inhaled deeply, scenting the air just to confirm it, but they were already pouring out of the trees, two, three, four, five vampires, their eyes crimson red and focused on me. Panic gripped me, and I whirled around as fear whipped through my body. I started running again without thinking about where to go, and this time I was running for dear life.

Five. There were five vampires after me, and there was no doubt about it that they were with Victoria. Why else would the be after me? They were following me, their passage as silent as swift as before but for the quiet sound of wind whispering through the night. Help. I needed help I thought, panic clouding my mind. I couldn't take on five vampires alone. It would be suicide to even try, and I didn't want to die. Not anymore.

I didn't know exactly where I was, had no idea in which direction the Cullens' home lay. I hoped, prayed that Alice had seen that I needed help, but it occurred to me that she would have no idea where to find me; the trees, the bushes, they all looked at same. I griped the base of a tree as I blew past, momentum giving me enough force to shove it out of the ground. It fell against its sisters with a deafening crack, and although they shook alarmingly they held. It didn't matter. It would give Alice something to go on, a place to start. If they had to comb the forest for my trail first, they'd never find me in time.

At least they hadn't split up yet. If they did, if they started herding me, it was only a matter of time until they caught me. Panic blossomed in my stomach once more at the thought, and I forced to move my legs even faster. Suddenly, a horrible thought struck me. What if Alice hadn't seen me? My future had disappeared before. What if it had disappeared again?

"Please," I whispered, my voice trembling with panic. "Please have seen me."

An obstacle appeared in front of me so suddenly I screamed. I sidestepped, momentum carrying me straight into the trunk of a massive spruce. I managed to spin around just before I actually collided with the tree, slammed my foot into the trunk, wood cracking in protest, to launch myself into the air where I flipped around. I landed on the ground, my back to the mangled tree, to face whatever new danger had so suddenly appeared in front of me, but my manoeuvre had taken too long, and all I saw was the tip of a bushy tail disappearing into the trees. The familiar wet dog scent was thick around me, and I almost wept with relief. Jake. It was Jake. He was here to save me. I didn't know how he'd found me or why he'd left Forks, but he was here, and that was all that mattered.

My relief lasted for about a second, then I realised that he was about to engage five vampires all by himself and tore after him, never mind that I probably wouldn't be much of a help. I knew he was good, but even he couldn't take on five vampires at the same time without the help of his pack.

Jake had caught them by surprise. He'd sunk his teeth into one of them, a female, her curly black hair like a halo around her beautiful face which was twisted with rage and pain and fear, and was shaking her violently. The other four were keeping back, growling and snarling, but quite obviously confused and unsure of what to do. Clearly, they didn't want to find themselves on the receiving end of Jake's serrated teeth, but leaving didn't seem to be an option for them either. Seeing me, however, they made up their mind. I was their primary target, the one they were after obviously they were not to be deterred by the fact that one of their own was being torn apart by a wolf the size of a pony.

Coming to Jake's aid hadn't been the best idea I'd ever had.

I whirled around and took off again, but this time I wasn't fast enough. One of them, a male with fierce red hair that was just a few inches too long to look good, closed his hand around my arm and yanked me back, hurling me to the ground. I was on my feet again before they could close in on me, but it didn't do me any good. I was outnumbered, and the fact that the female Jake was fighting wasn't looking too good didn't seem to impress them very much. The redhead leapt onto my back from behind, the force of impact slamming me into the ground again. I snarled in consternation. His arms closed around my chest like iron clamps and, finally, instinct took over. Bending my knee, I brought it up hard, and the redhead gasped. Apparently, the part of my brain that wasn't busy fighting for its life noted, vampire men were just as sensitive south of their belt as human men were. I used his distraction to free myself out of his grasp, spun around and aimed at his chest. Dancing backwards, he neatly evaded my kick. I crouched, every muscle in my body coiled to spring and rip out his throat, but I was seized from behind once more, and this time the hands that dug into my shoulders like claws didn't let go again. I snarled. Jake's head snapped around, and he let go of the mangled female and launched himself at the red-haired male. He staggered under Jake's weight, but I didn't have time to watch. I couldn't move, the three remaining vampires holding on to me, restraining me. I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder as I tried to twist out of their grip, but the pain passed so suddenly I wasn't sure I'd really felt it, at least, until I managed to glance down.

I screamed. My arm, my arm was lying on the ground a few feet away from me. My arm had been torn off. My arm had been torn off. Panic engulfed me once more as I realised that my other arm was being twisted in its socket as well, and I tried to tear it out of the vampire's grip, but he was much, much stronger than I was. I heard Jake growl, then yelp, and I knew we were losing, and yet I couldn't think of anything other than my arm lying in the snow, its fingers flexing spastically.

Suddenly, I was free again. I blinked in confusion as my remaining arm swung around to snap back in its proper position, my brain, still clouded with panic, refusing to work properly. It took me several seconds to figure out what had happened, and by then it was almost over.

The cavalry had arrived after all.

Emmett had come to Jake's aid, and the redhead he'd been fighting unsuccessfully lay motionless in the snow, huge chunks of flesh missing. Jake stood crouched over the remains, clearly favouring his left side, but at least he was alive. Turning my head, I found Alice and Carlisle restraining one of the vampires, another female, who'd held me down while Jasper was getting rid of the second, disassembling him so efficiently I was sure he'd done that many, many times before and adding the pieces to a growing pile on the ground. It was already on fire, and violet smoke rose into the air, its burning smell revolting.

The vampire who'd tried to tear me apart was nowhere to be seen.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked gently. He'd crouched down beside me, his arm almost touching my remaining one.

"Yes," I managed to say, my voice shaking. I glanced at the arm in the snow, the sleeve of my coat and shirt still attached to it. It felt surreal, seeing my arm lying there, especially because I could still feel it, much like an amputee who could still feel his missing limb weeks after its removal. I swallowed.

"I killed the vampire who ripped it off," Edward told me very matter-of-factly. Looking up at him. I saw that he was smiling, but there was an almost feral edge to his smile and his eyes were hard and cold. "I hope you don't mind."

"No," I replied quietly. "I'm glad he's dead. I'm glad they're all dead," I added, glancing at the pile of vampire remains; the flames licking devouring it were just as purple as the smoke they produced.

"Well," Edward said, "we didn't kill them all." Following his gaze, I saw that the female Alice and Carlisle captured had been handed over to Emmett, who'd closed his massive hand around her arm. She was a tiny, fragile little thing with black hair almost to her waist, which made her look even smaller. Raising her head, she met my gaze, and her eyes blazed.

Edward snarled, responding to something inside the girl's mind, and she shrunk into Emmett's grip, eyes dropping to the ground in submission.

I drew a deep breath. I was safe, for now at least. "Thanks for coming," I whispered. Edward put his arm around my shoulders, pressing me briefly against his chest. I didn't protest, too shaken by what had just transpired, and I found that I was glad that he was here, glad that he was holding me, at least for now.

"We'll always be there for you," he replied. "I'm sorry it took us so long, but somewhere along the way your future disappeared again and we had to find your scent first. By the way, Alice thinks you're right."

"About what?"

"That your future disappears because of the wolves." He nodded at Jake, who'd limped over and parked himself beside me, a huge concession his part, because it brought him within Edward's reach, and if there was a vampire Jake hated even more than Victoria, then it was definitely him. At Edward's remark he raised his head, and although I wasn't very good at deciphering canine facial expressions it was obvious to me that he didn't care much for anything Edward had to say.

Well, no surprise there.

"Thanks to you, too," I said and gently stroked the fur between his ears where it was softest and almost felt like silk. "If you hadn't shown up, I'd be dead. Are you alright?" I peered at his injured side. I wasn't a vet, but I thought that his left hind paw stuck out from underneath his body in a very weird angle.

Jake shrugged in dismissal, trying to convince me that he was fine. Prodding him in the side with my good arm, however, he flinched visibly. "Sorry," I said, dropping my arm to my side again. "I'll take a look at it later. Do you think you can phase?"

"He won't phase as long as I'm around," Edward said quietly. Realising I was still curled up against his chest, I straightened, and Edward's arms fell away. I almost sighed in relief. I didn't want to him to think that I'd forgiven him so soon, because although I was grateful for his presence, more grateful than I cared to admit, I hadn't forgotten what he'd done. I didn't know if I ever could.

Jake growled to emphasise Edward's words.

"Fine," I said quickly. "We'll figure something out."

"Here," Alice said and held out my arm, having scooped it up as if it was a piece of wood, "don't forget your arm." Narrowing my eyes at her cheerful tone, I glanced up. Her smile vanished almost instantly and was replaced by embarrassment. "Sorry," she muttered, but she didn't elaborate on what exactly she was apologising for. There were a few things I could think of I'd like an apology for from Alice.

"Alright," I said, gingerly taking my arm although I had no idea what to do with it, "let's do this."

At least, I thought, I'm alive. For now anyway. Because Victoria wouldn't give up until I was dead, of that I was sure. She'd amply demonstrated how far she was willing to go, that she'd stop at nothing to get what she wanted. There was no telling how many more people she'd turned, how many more lives she'd destroyed in order to kill me, and there was nothing we could do to stop her. With Alice blind, we had no way of knowing what she'd do next. She hadn't seen me being ambushed until it was almost too late, otherwise she'd have warned me. If Jake hadn't shown up when he had, they'd never have gotten here in time.

And next time there might nobody be there to save me.