A/N: I'm really thrilled about how many reviews I received for the last three chapters! Thank you so much for taking the time to review. My beta KayMarieXW has done a wonderful job with this chapter again – you made it better!

As promised the update. Hope you'll enjoy!

Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga is property of Stephenie Meyer. I'm only borrowing.

23. IMPASSE

EDWARD

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,

And sings the tune—without the words,

And never stops at all.

Emily Dickinson

"Edward, we need to talk."

I didn't glance up as Bella entered the drawing room, instead forcing my fingers to continue playing. The melody I was weaving never faltered. I'd expected Bella to say these words sooner rather than later, but hearing them still caused my heart to clench with fear. It shouldn't have; I was well aware of that. I had no right to be afraid, as I had no right to feel hopeful, but emotions were hard to fight.

As was hope.

"I know," I replied, my voice strangely flat.

If Bella noticed, she didn't let on as she slipped onto the piano bench beside me. Her scent—freesia and wild roses and just a tinge of what reminded me of vanilla—was overwhelming, appealing to every particle of my being, of what made me me. I closed my eyes and held my breath, wishing she'd kept away. With her so close to me, the black despair hovering on the edge of my mind was threatening to take over again and I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to bear it. I had no right to complain. After what I'd done to her—to us both—I deserved to be in agony, but I didn't know how much more pain I'd be able to handle.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you for hurting me like that, she'd said to me on the plane. I love you and I always will, but I don't know if that's enough. I had wanted to die then, because by uttering these words aloud, words that had the power to destroy me, Bella had confirmed my worst fears. I'd forbidden myself to think about what I would do if she chose not to take me back, but then I hadn't been able to keep the black thoughts at bay any longer. If she didn't forgive me, I'd understand. How could I not after all that I'd put her through?

But without her my life would lose its meaning. And living side by side as family but not as lovers wasn't enough. I wished it was. Having her as my sister was still better than not having her in my life at all. But it would never be enough. And I couldn't change the way I felt about it.

And then she'd kissed me.

As our lips met, the hope I thought I'd lost had sparked alive again, lighting up my mind and forcing the darkness to retreat. I'd clung on to her as if I was drowning and she was my lifeline, allowing myself to hope that she'd forgive me after all.

I was a fool.

"I shouldn't have kissed you," Bella said very quietly, gently pressing down a key that rang out clear and in complete dissonance to what I was still playing. From the corner of my eye I saw her lips twitch into a brief, sheepish smile. Her hand fell back into her lap to join the other. "It wasn't fair to raise your hopes when…" She frowned, frustrated, as she tried to find the right words. She didn't want to hurt me, I realised bitterly, although I'd hurt her so much worse. When she spoke again her voice had grown very soft. "What I said earlier hasn't changed. I wish I could say that it had. I truly do, but I can't. I'm sorry, Edward."

"You have no reason to apologise." Finally, I looked up. As our eyes met, I forced my lips into a smile, hoping it was enough to convince her that I was fine. I didn't want her to be hurting on my account. I didn't deserve her compassion. "You haven't done anything wrong."

Bella's lips parted as if she wanted to object, then her gaze dropped.

Neither of us spoke. I suddenly realised that I'd shifted from the tune in E major, which I'd been playing in order to lighten my dark mood, to one in F minor. I faintly recalled my piano teacher lecturing me about the emotions different keys created. F major, he'd said, as usually sitting beside me so that he could slap his ruler across my fingers whenever they refused to move fast enough, expresses complaisance and calm. F minor on the other hand expresses deep depression. It's something you'd play at a funeral, boy. I smiled bleakly. How very appropriate.

I hadn't acknowledged the drastic key change, but Bella had obviously detected it. She kept darting worried glances at me, which I pretended not to notice. I didn't want her to feel sorry for me. Her sympathy made things so much more painful for me, but I couldn't tell her that. If I did, she'd be even more concerned.

I was grateful that neither she, nor the rest of my family, could see into the black abyss that was my mind. It would have scared them and revealed to them that I wasn't coping as well as I had been pretending to be. Jasper and Alice were the only ones who knew and they would never tell a soul. I realised only now how much I depended on Jasper to ease my suffering as he had been doing for a very long time now, almost instinctively—the ragged edges of my pain hurt him too.

Bella gasped. I spun around, pain and despair momentarily driven away by concern. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her features twisted as if she was in pain. I reached for her shoulder to shake her gently even as she grabbed my wrist so hard it almost hurt. The melody that sounded like a funeral lament died. Then her eyes flew open. They shifted to my face, wide with horror.

"What happened?" I demanded, confused and scared.

"I don't…" She shook her head, then pressed her knuckles against her forehead. "In the park," she managed eventually, not at all what I'd expected her to say, "when you couldn't move. Do you remember?"

"Yes, of course I do." How could I possibly forget? The vampire whose name I'd later come to learn was Hugh had had me paralysed. His gift had caught me completely by surprise. He'd had other things on his mind at the time and as I'd had been unable to catch even a glimpse of the Marine's thoughts, I hadn't been aware of his gift until it was too late. I knew how very close to dying I'd come. Bella was the only reason I was still alive, but as she hadn't asked, I hadn't brought it up yet. Eleazar was the one who'd discovered why I couldn't read her mind. I'd rather he told her; he'd be able to explain things better. "Why are you asking?"

"I've been thinking. This is going to sound crazy, but I think I… I don't know. I think I somehow negated his gift." She looked up at me to gauge my reaction, not really believing in her theory. "That sounds stupid, doesn't it?"

"No, not at all," I reassured her. "It's exactly what happened." Her eyes widened, surprised. I smiled. "Look, it's really Eleazar who came up with it, so he should be the one to tell you, but… Eleazar has a gift of his own. He's able to classify and categorise other vampires' gifts. That's not how he'd put it, but for all intents and purposes it's what he does. He believes that you have some sort of psychic barrier, a shield if you will, that protects your mind from other psychic abilities like mine. It makes sense. Jasper and Alice's gifts work on you, because they are not limited to the psychic plane. Jasper physically influences other people's emotions. Alice really sees the future."

"And… Hugh's gift?"

I shrugged. "There's one in the Volturi Guard. Her name is Jane. I've never met her. Carlisle has though. He described her gift as very… impressive." 'Impressive' wasn't what I'd call it. I'd seen enough in Carlisle's recollections to know that I really didn't want to meet Jane in person, let alone find myself on the receiving end of her gift. "Jane creates the illusion of pain. Carlisle once asked her for a demonstration and afterwards wished he hadn't. It was pure agony. It wasn't real, but according to Carlisle it might as well have been. Hugh's gift worked the same way. He was very surprised when he wasn't able to incapacitate you as he'd intended. As to why it stopped working on me, I suspect that you somehow managed to gain control over your shield, maybe instinctively, and managed to extend it so that it would protect my mind as well."

Bella was silent for a while as she mulled over what I'd just told her. It was a lot to take in, especially as she'd never suspected to be gifted.

"You saved my life, you know."

Bella's lips curved into an absent smile, but I could tell that she wasn't really paying attention to what I was saying. Her thoughts had taken her far, far away.

"What is it?" I asked, remembering how strangely she'd acted a few moments ago, the pained expression on her face, her strangled breathing. I placed my hand on her shoulder to turn her around so that she would face me; her hand was still clasping my wrist. I tried to deduce the cause of her unease, but her face, framed by still wet strands of dark hair that had escaped the bun she'd twisted it into after showering, gave nothing away. It was in moments like this that I cursed my inability to read her mind, although I knew that Bella wouldn't want me inside her head all the time the way I constantly intruded into my family's thoughts. But not knowing what she was thinking, especially when she was acting so strangely, was unbelievably frustrating and did nothing to scatter the anxiety gnawing in my stomach.

"I don't know." Bella's gaze finally shifted to my face, her expression blank, giving nothing away. "I guess you're right about the shield thing. I find it hard to believe that I'm supposed to be as gifted as you are or as Alice and Jasper, for that that matter, but it makes sense. It's just…" She paused, frowning slightly as if she didn't quite know how to word what she wanted to say. I forced myself to be patient. "How much did you catch of the chat I had with the two females?"

It was my turn to frown, wondering what she was driving at. "Enough to know that they were telling the truth."

Bella nodded slowly, my words obviously just having confirmed something she'd been suspecting herself. "Look, here's the thing." She paused again, then the words tumbled out in a rush. "I let them go because I knew that they weren't lying. I'm not a mind reader, so I shouldn't have, but I did." Her eyes found mine and then narrowed. I wondered what she'd seen in my face. Apprehension? Fear? I didn't doubt her account of what had transpired in the park tonight. If she believed she'd actually read the vampires' minds, then I believed her. As Eleazar had no idea how exactly Bella's shield worked, he'd been unable—and unwilling—to make any assumptions as to how powerful it was.

"What do you think happened?" I asked, my mouth dry.

"As I said, I don't know." She shrugged, but her eyes never strayed away from my face, watching me closely. I forced my lips into a smile, knowing that I'd failed miserably when her eyebrows lifted. "Do you think it's possible that by extending my shield," she rolled her eyes a little at that, the notion of a gift of her own still too new, "over you, your ability to read minds somehow reflected back on me?"

"It's not impossible," I whispered, wishing she'd let go of my arm. Was that what had happened? Was that why, for a moment, she'd been so shocked? Had she glimpsed into my mind and seen the darkness within me, darkness I'd been trying to hide so very hard? I didn't want her to know how difficult it had been for me since I left her. It would scare her. And I didn't want her to pity me. I didn't want the pain I carried with me, her feeling sorry for me, to be the reason she took me back.

"Edward," she began, her voice as soft as a feather. Her fingers finally loosened their iron grip around my wrist. Instead she placed her hands gently on either side of my face. I couldn't look away. "I think you need to tell me what you did after you left Forks."

"Please." I tried to push her hands away, my voice breaking. "Please don't make me do that." Those years had been the darkest time of my life and I couldn't possibly relive them again. If I did, if I allowed the memories to return, they'd drive me insane. I'd never told anyone about what I'd done, what I'd been like. I needed to put the past behind me and bury it so deep it would never be able to haunt me again. The decisions I'd made would always torment me. I knew that and I had accepted it. But those seven years I'd spent away from civilisation had been devoid of hope and full of pain and doubts. It was that feeling of hopelessness that had almost cost me my sanity. I didn't want to feel like that again, not now when I could finally hope again. It was foolish, would make the pain even worse in the end if she didn't choose me, but hope, I realised, was all I had left.

"Please don't make me do it," I pleaded. The fear of those memories had dug its claws into my mind and threatened to overpower me. I didn't want her to see me like that. "Don't make me remember."

"Maybe it would give you some closure. I mean it," she continued softly when I wanted to object. I wanted to tell her that she was wrong, that telling her would change nothing, that it was best to leave it buried. "Why are you so scared?"

"How can I not be scared?" I whispered. "You saw the darkness in my mind. You can't ask me to unearth memories that would make it even worse. It's been like that for a very long time. I may have fooled my family, with the exception of Jasper and Alice, into believing that I'm well, but I'm far from it."

"I thought about asking Alice what you did after you left Forks, but I didn't because she probably wouldn't have told me anyway." Bella scowled a little. "She's very strange that way. I asked her why she didn't tell me that you'd lied and she explained that she'd kept it to herself because she didn't want to meddle. That's the joke of the century, really. Alice has perfected the art of meddling." She huffed. Then her face turned soft again, her eyes sympathetic. "I'm not asking you to tell me out of morbid curiosity or because I get a kick out of seeing you suffer."

I snorted at her attempt to lighten the mood. I couldn't even blame her if she did. After what I'd done to her, it was no more than I deserved.

"Please," she said. Her hands fell away from my face, settling on my shoulders instead and pulling me ever so slightly closer, maybe without even realising that she had. I groaned. Didn't she know what it did to me when she was this close? "Maybe it would help if you told someone. That someone doesn't have to be me," she added after a moment. "If Alice and Jasper already know, then talk to them."

But Jasper and Alice didn't know. Alice must have caught at least flashes of my future, although she'd probably tried not to look too closely, angry as she was, but she had no idea what I'd become after I'd left Forks. Neither had Jasper. The only time we'd met in those seven years I'd spent apart from my family he hadn't paid very close attention to what I was feeling because he'd been furious with me for hurting Alice. Now he was aware of the darkness that surrounded me, but he had no way of knowing what was responsible for it, just as Alice could only see the decisions people made and how it would affect the future, but never the reasons behind these decisions.

"You don't want to know how I was," I whispered, one last attempt to convince her to leave me alone. "I don't want you to be scared."

"I've never been scared of you," was her gently reply, words she'd said to me once before a very long time ago. "You won't scare me now."

The smile on her face was so warm, so loving. The sliver of hope fluttered, beating its tiny wings against the confines of my heart. "I didn't return to my family after I'd left you in the forest," I began quietly, suddenly feeling very tired, a mental weariness that ran bone deep. "I ran as fast as I could, afraid that if I paused for even a moment, I wouldn't be able to leave. I ran until the sun came up and then found a place to hide. Just sitting there, waiting for the sun to set again, was horrible. I began questioning myself although I'd gone over and over it in my head. I was convinced I'd made the right choice."

I stared at my hands as I spoke. I couldn't look her in the eye. Those first few days had been the hardest. I hadn't wanted to leave her, but I'd had no choice. It had been the only way to keep her out of harm's way, to make ensure she'd live a happy and fulfilled and of all things human life. I'd wanted her to have the things I could never have given her. But I'd wanted to have her too. Leaving her had hurt so much, worse than my transformation all those years ago.

I told her everything. I told her how I'd tried to track Victoria, how I'd followed her trail to South America where I'd lost it. I told her about Carlisle and Jasper's visit too, about the message Alice had given Jasper for him to pass a long.

"If Carlisle had known about it, he would have never taken Jasper with him," I said softly, remembering the kindness of Carlisle's thoughts. "He wanted me to come home and put the past behind me. He wanted his family back together." I snorted. "And now? We're together again, but we've never been farther apart. Things have changed between us because of what I did. Esme and Carlisle have forgiven me and still love me unconditionally, but they worry about me and their concern keeps reminding me that I almost destroyed our family. As for Rosalie, she wasn't always like she's now. I know you didn't get along well in Forks, but she's a good person and she only gets mean because she lacks the ability to express herself a more reasonable way. She hates me for what I did because she was there when I was not. She saw what my leaving did to them. She can't forgive me for that and I don't blame her."

I sighed. At some point of our conversation we'd relocated onto the sofa. Bella sat cross-legged beside me, her hand loosely on my arm. I didn't know what to think of that. I didn't want the fact that she was feeling sorry for me—and how could she not, compassionate as she was?—influence her decision.

"I left North America after a few years and went north," I continued. "I ended up in Siberia. It was very quiet, peaceful even, as there wasn't a single human being alive close to where I'd found an empty cabin. But I was alone and I know now that being alone wasn't good for me. I only left the cabin to hunt," I whispered, afraid my voice would break again. I didn't want to be weak. "I just sat there, thinking about you although I didn't want to. I had to believe I'd made the right choice because if I hadn't, then all this pain would have been for nothing, but when I thought of you it was so very hard. I wanted to die. I'd already made contingency plans back when James was after you. It would have been so easy to act on them, but I couldn't do it. I didn't want to die. I think I wanted to punish myself for all the misery I'd caused. I only fed when I absolutely had to. My thoughts were darkest when I was thirsty."

Bella's eyebrows knitted together in disapproval. I didn't comment on it. I hadn't been thinking rationally at the time. If I had, I wouldn't have been there in the first place.

"That crushing feeling of hopelessness was worst. By choosing to give you up I'd given part of myself up. I was feeling empty, lost. I was slowly losing my mind. If Emmett and Rosalie hadn't come for me, I would have gone insane."

"Rosalie?" Bella asked incredulously.

My lips twitched into a humourless smile. "Oh, she didn't do it to do me a favour. She just wanted to see how far gone I was." Bella's expression was puzzled. She had no idea what I was talking about. "Alice had a vision of Victoria," I explained, "only that it wasn't really a vision. Just flashes. It must have been around your birthday two years ago. She wanted me home, so that we could go after her in case she decided to attack you. That was the only vision of Victoria Alice has had ever since. She never saw the actual attack."

"No." Bella's reply was quiet. "She wouldn't have. Jake was with me when it happened."

I looked up, surprised. I didn't know for sure because Alice tried not to think about the things she and Bella had talked about in private, but I didn't believe that she'd spoken to anyone about how exactly her change had come to pass.

"Victoria's timing was perfect. Jake had just gone outside to check in with Sam. She probably had very elaborate plans about what to do to me once she finally got her hands on me, but because Jake was outside she had to hurry. Unfortunately for Victoria and fortunately for me," her lips tightened, "I was hurt. I don't remember exactly how, but I was bleeding and she couldn't resist. She bit me. That's when Jake came rushing back in, still in wolf form and mad as hell. Victoria made a run for it, knowing she'd never stand a chance against him. I asked Jake to kill me," she whispered, "but he didn't. When I woke up again, he was still there. He went hunting with me, made sure I didn't accidentally kill someone." She shrugged. "I've spent a lot of time wondering if Jake would have been able to prevent Victoria from biting me if he'd stayed inside just a minute longer. Possibly. Probably. But knowing Victoria, she just would have waited until he was on a plane back to Forks."

"I'm sorry," I said after we'd lapsed into silence again. It was still dark outside, but the horizon was already turning faintly pink.

"I wish you hadn't left," Bella replied quietly, smiling sadly. "It would have spared us both so much pain. You more than me." She grasped my hand, squeezing it gently before she got up and walked out of the room.

xxx

We left Chicago just after noon. I'd called Alice to inform her that we'd be coming home—she'd already known of course, but I'd wanted to apologise for hanging up on her so rudely to go after Bella—and she'd promised me that one of them would pick us up. She hadn't mentioned Jacob and I hadn't asked what was going on. That was between Bella and the wolf and I'd rather go on another shopping trip with Alice than make their problem my business.

We'd passed most of the flight in silence. I couldn't shake the sense of failure that had settled on my mind, but for Bella it had to be even worse. She'd come to Chicago to find her friend, but Victoria had been several steps ahead. Eden Wallace had died because she'd been at the wrong place at the wrong time. She and Bella hadn't been particularly close—far from it, actually—but she hadn't deserved to die so brutally and although I couldn't read her mind I knew that she was blaming herself for Eden's death. It wasn't her fault, but as I knew she wouldn't listen, let alone believe me, I kept my opinion to myself.

Bella and I hadn't discussed what to do about Eden. I'd told her I'd take care of it and she hadn't asked questions, although she must have guessed what I intended because there really was no other option. If we'd left Eden's body where it was, someone would have found it eventually and informed the police, who would immediately have suspected us. They had no way of knowing, of course, that we actually were the last to have seen her alive, but as Caroline Alden would certainly tell them that we'd meant to talk to her, they'd assume just that. And that was unacceptable. We couldn't draw any attention to ourselves. I'd taken Eden's body along with many of her personal belongings to the middle of Lake Michigan, burying her deep under the bottom of the lake, an undignified grave and one she didn't deserve. Unfortunately there had been no other option. Hopefully, everyone would assume she'd left town after Olivia's disappearance. This story was made more credible because Liv had broken up with her a few days prior anyway. I'd written a letter to Caroline Alden to be absolutely sure; Eden's handwriting, a barely legible scrawl that most doctors, including psychologists, seemed to adopt, hadn't been hard to copy.

When I came home, dripping with water from the lake and smelling of oil and fish, Bella had left me standing in the hallway without even looking at me. I couldn't blame her.

"What now?" Bella asked as we walked down the gangway, pushing through the slowly moving throng of humans. It was the first time she'd really spoken to me and I was glad she finally had. Things had been awkward the entire flight, although I had no idea if what was because our trip to Chicago had been such an epic failure or because of what I had told her. I decided to assume the former. It was better for my sanity.

"We'll tell the others what we've learned and try to come up with a new plan," I replied lightly, though Bella's doubtfully raised eyebrows expressed exactly what I felt. How could we come up with a new plan when we had nothing to go on? "What else can we possibly do?" I said softly.

Bella's hand tightened around the strap of her bag, her knuckles ghostly white against her pale skin, but she didn't comment on my words. Instead she turned and strode away, weaving through the waiting people a little faster than a human carrying a bag ever could have.

I sighed and followed her only to run almost into her in the arrival hall when she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks. Stepping past her, I quickly found out what the source of her surprise was. Jacob and Rosalie, waiting for us just beside the entrance and standing almost ten feet apart. It was an unusual welcoming committee and while I could come up with at least ten good reasons why Jacob would be here to pick us up, I couldn't fathom what had caused Rosalie to accompany him. Her thoughts were a blur; she was going over hundreds of principles of particle physics simultaneously to keep me out. Usually she didn't bother to make any effort to hide her thoughts from me—which didn't keep her from complaining about the lack of privacy on a regular basis—and I knew instantly that something had happened, something that Rosalie knew I'd be very tempted to rip her head off for. Something Rosalie knew was her fault.

Jacob was much easier to read. He raised his right in in greeting when he saw us, a sheepish smile playing around his lips. I almost laughed when I saw the reason for his strange behaviour on the phone earlier, but I choked it back down, knowing Bella probably wouldn't appreciate it. I focused on Rosalie again, while Bella strode towards Jacob, grabbed his arm and pulled him a little distance away, so that their words, drowned out by the voices of hundreds of people, were intelligible even to us.

Rosalie's lips were pressed together into a very tight line, her arms folded in front of her chest. Her eyes were meeting mine almost defiantly as if to dare me to blame her for whatever it was that she'd done. I tried very hard not to smile, although I was very certain that once Rosalie got around to actually telling me what had happened, I wouldn't feel like smiling at all.

"Did Alice send you to pick us up?" I asked casually.

Rosalie didn't relax. "No," she ground out, "I volunteered."

I lifted an eyebrow. Rosalie's control over her thoughts wavered for a moment and I caught a flash of a very angry-looking Emmett roaring at her very much like the grizzly bears that were his preferred prey.

"Fine," she snapped, belligerent, "Emmett made me come."

"Did he now? And why would that be?" I knew I sounded condescending, but I couldn't help it. Rosalie's temper, which she couldn't really control at the best of times, flared. Her thoughts were laid bare for me to see as she struggled to keep herself from lunging at me, her eyes blazing with anger. The second I had access to her mind it became painfully clear why she was reacting so strongly—and even Rosalie usually had better control in public.

She hadn't had a very nice day so far. And once I knew the reason why I wasn't at all inclined to feel sorry for the things my family in general and Emmett in particular had thrown at her.

"What have you done?" I snarled, causing Jacob's attention to snap from Bella back to me momentarily.

So she's told him, he thought, gloating. He'd known as well, but he'd been trying to figure out how to break it to Bella that there were two werewolves currently camping out in her living room and intending to stay.

And then of course he didn't really care about vampire business. If we screwed up, it wasn't his problem.

To Rosalie's credit, she didn't even try to weasel her way out of it. She just stood there, glaring at me, her beautiful face twisted in anger and shame. She knew she'd done wrong, she knew she deserved everything my family had said to her. That didn't change the fact that her actions could have severe consequences for all of us.

"I didn't mean to," she replied between clenched teeth, still fighting for control. She was upset because Emmett had told her in no uncertain terms that he doubted that their relationship would survive if she didn't fix what she'd broken. Unfortunately, Rosalie knew very well that there was no chance in hell she'd ever be able to do just that. She was terrified and fear made her even more hostile. She didn't know how else to express her feelings without appearing to be weak.

Knowing all that, I still couldn't bring myself to feel sorry for her. Apparently, Esme had asked Rosalie to look after Freya as her latest client had demanded she come over and explain to him an order confirmation they'd already gone over several times. If Esme hadn't been irritated because of her client, she probably never would have asked her; she was well aware of the fact that Rosalie hadn't exactly taken a liking to Freya. However, she'd had no choice. With Emmett and Jasper still gone, Alice at Bella's place with Jacob and Carlisle at work, Rosalie had ended up babysitting Freya. As Freya wasn't stupid, she'd already noticed that Rosalie wasn't very fond of her and tried to stay clear of her, but when Rosalie was in a mood—and she always was these days—she went looking for a fight. Freya couldn't have known that because she'd only been with us for a very short time.

And when Rosalie had told her that we'd only allowed her to stay because we felt sorry for her and that we'd throw her out again once Victoria was taken care of, Freya had believed every word and run away. Realising that she'd made a monumentally bad mistake, Rosalie had gone after her almost immediately, but she'd been unable to find her. She'd called Alice, trying to do damage control. Naturally Alice had been less than thrilled, especially because she hadn't seen it happening. The presences of the wolves seemed to blind her almost completely. The rest of the family had learned what had happened in a matter of minutes and they'd descended on Rosalie like a kestrel on its prey, with Emmett leading the way.

That she'd volunteered to pick us up to the airport after that—despite the fact that Jacob would accompany her—was really no surprise.

"I know it's my fault," Rosalie said after a moment, which was as close to an apology we were going to get, "and that I shouldn't have said what I said." She was still looking at me defiantly, expecting me to yell at her as well and I decided to take pity on her although it was hard to fight the boiling anger back down. If Victoria managed to get her hands on Freya, there was no telling what she'd do with all the information Freya had learned during her brief stay with us. It would give her an even bigger advantage and what we needed right now was an advantage of our own, not for her to get even more powerful in terms of knowledge.

However, crying over spilt milk wouldn't do us any good.

"What's done is done," I said, at which Rosalie's posture automatically became even more defiant, but as she wasn't really aware of it and was just reacting the way she always did when criticised, I chose to ignore it. "We'll have to make the best of it."

Rosalie stared at me for a second longer, then nodded curtly and spun around, stomping out into the night and disappearing around the corner. She was still close enough for me to read her mind, but I tried not to pay very close attention.

Bella didn't look very happy when she and Jacob finally joined me, the latter having somehow managed to convince Bella to let him carry her bag for her although he knew that it couldn't possibly be too heavy for her. He was trying to make up for not telling her sooner that Embry and Seth had arrived in Anchorage yesterday afternoon. Judging by Bella's expression, she didn't seem to know if she should be happy about the notion of three werewolves living in her house or not. But maybe it was the events in Chicago she was thinking about.

I smiled at her, but she simply frowned in return.

"Hello, Jacob," I said amiably as we made our way outside. He grunted in return, too busy wondering about what exactly had happened in Chicago. Bella hadn't told him yet and he was worried because he didn't like how despondent and drained she looked. He gathered that things had been even worse than he'd suspected and he wished she hadn't gone at all, blaming himself for not trying to talk her out of going.

I wasn't looking forward to his reaction when Bella finally got around telling him that we'd come very close to dying last night.

Apparently—although Jacob's thoughts were a little muddled on the subject—Carlisle had already decided that we'd all meet in Denali tonight, including Jacob and what was now his pack, albeit a very one. I was a bit surprised that Jacob had agreed to that, but he was probably feeling the pressure of finding Victoria as well. And whatever he and Alice had been up to in the two days we'd been gone seemed to have lessened his distrust of vampires like us. The vegetarian kind.

The ride back to Bella's was silent. Rosalie was feeling sorry for herself, which made me regret my decision, but that was how she was. Jacob was a little apprehensive because part of Bella's furniture hadn't survived the moving in of two werewolves. He very clearly remembered her reaction when he and Embry had accidentally gotten into a mock fight and—also accidentally of course—had smashed her living room furniture to pieces. Especially not as it would probably be all the more violent because she could hurl him across the room if she cared to and wasn't reduced to simply shouting at him anymore.

Rosalie surprised us all by insisting on coming inside when we arrived at Bella's. She was trying to play nice. Bella didn't know why yet, but I doubted she'd be any more happy about what had happened while we'd been gone than I was.

Bella sighed when she saw what was left of her living room. Seth, a very handsome young man, looked up guiltily from the bowl of cereal in his lap when we poured into the living room. "Hey, Bella," he said sheepishly, thrusting his elbows into Embry's ribs, who'd fallen asleep beside him. He came awake with a yelp, looking wildly around before his drowsy gaze fell on us. Struggling to come fully wake, he grabbed Seth's shoulder for support.

"Sorry," Jacob muttered, "I had him running patrol all night. For coming completely, totally unannounced." He glared at Seth, who shrugged.

"Would you've let us come if we had called? Besides, Sam might have overheard us and he would have stopped us. Which was out of the question."

Jacob's eyes narrowed at that. He was touched that is friends had chosen to abandon Sam's pack to join him, but he hadn't yet decided what he should think of the fact that by doing so they'd betrayed their former alpha.

"What are you watching?" Rosalie asked in an attempt to include herself into the conversation, pushing past Bella and Jacob to get a better look at the TV. Bella and Jacob exchanged a quick glance. She'd found time to fill him in on Rosalie and what Jacob had heard of her didn't quite match up with how she was behaving now.

I just rolled my eyes.

Seth didn't glance up from the TV. "Stargate Atlantis. I'm not sure if you've…"

"As a matter of fact, I have," Rosalie replied, suddenly interested. "I've studied astrophysics once, you know."

Now Seth did glance up, equal interest flashing in his eyes.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Bella appeared at my side, nodding toward the kitchen door. Jacob trailed behind us as we walked into the snowy backyard, the branches so overloaded with snow they were dragging across the ground. Throwing once last look at the closed back door, Bella turned to face me. "I really don't know Rosalie very well, so maybe it's me. But," she paused, frowning, "she's acting a little weird, isn't she?"

Jacob ducked back inside, not wanting to be part of that particular conversation.

I made a face, gesturing for Bella to follow me deeper into the trees and out of Rosalie's earshot. As there really was no point on sugar-coating it, I just stated the facts. "Freya ran away because of something Rosalie said. She went after her and tried to find her, but she couldn't."

Bella had gone absolutely still. She slowly turned, staring into the violet darkness ahead of us so that I couldn't see her face and read her emotions. "Just when I thought that things couldn't possibly get any worse," she whispered, her voice strangled and coarse.

And then she began to sob.

xxx

No real mean cliffhanger this time! Did you like the chapter?