AN- Thank you for your reviews everybody! But, ARGH! Did I reply? Did I reply to yours? If I didn't, sorry! Please tell me and I will this time! I promise! Anyway, on with the chapter!
"Seatbelts on, everybody?" Ben called to all the occupants of the minibus.
"Sir, yes, sir!"
"Yes, ma'am!"
Fox chose to ignore Eagle's comment and instead raised his hand to their driver who nodded and placed the vehicle into action.
When the bus started moving, Ben turned to Alex/ "So, Milo, when's your birthday?"
"August 15th," the teenager murmured, gazing out of the window.
"Yeah? Ever had a romantic relationship with anyone?" leaning over, he attempted to take Alex's attention away from the buildings they were moving past and focus on him.
Sighing, Alex didn't turn round but something changed and he seemed to aknowledge Ben's presense more. "No. I'm waiting for that special someone," a moment later, a grimace crossed his face. "Oh, that just sounded cheesy. I have to go round saying things like that?"
Eagle popped his head up behind them and grinned, leaning on the back of their chairs. "That's not all, Cub. Have you read how the gossip magazine cuttings we were given to study describe you?" his face suddenly went dreamy, eyelashes fluttering in exaggerated endearment. "'The noble and cool prince with a husky voice that just sends-'"
Alex blanched, waving his hands to get the description. "Shoot me now," he muttered amid Eagle's laughter.
Ben smothered a smile at the expression on Alex's face before he remembered something that he had been told hurriedly by the makeup artist before they left headquarters. Turning to Alex, he focussed on the teen. "I need to look at your eyes, Alex. The makeup artist said that you might have put too much of the colour changing liquid in one eye and too little in the other."
"They're fine," Alex nodded firmly, facing the window again.
Ben rolled his eyes. "Yeah. I need to check because you did it yourself. What if you've got one eye more intense than the other? You really want to blow your cover just from a silly mistake like that?"
"Alright. I understand already." grumbling, the teenager twitched around infinitesimally.
Ben stare at what little he could see of his still turned away head.
Alex glared at the window. "What?"
"I said: face me."
Grumbling again, he shifted minutely.
"Oh, for the love of-" Ben gripped Alex's chin and forced his face to him.
Two aqua green eyes stared balefully back before the teen wrenched his head away. "There. I told you they were fine." he said, already facing the window again.
Blinking, Ben nodded slowly.
Alex's eyes...they'd looked vacant again. Blank- as if he wasn't focussing on him when he'd looked at him.
Anxiousness began to squirm in the pit of his stomach. Had the mission Alex been on perhaps made it difficult for him to relate to people as usual? Maybe that was why he was being so loud recently. Perhaps he was trying to compensate for the fact- cover up for the crumbling truth that he was struggling to interact normally. That also could be why he didn't want that makeup artist to touch him. After all, hadn't he, Ben, felt the same way after certain missions?
(Or am I just trying to make excuses for him?)
No. That- that had to be it.
Yeah.
That was right.
"So, what's going on?" Alex's voice cut through his thoughts and Ben forced himself to concentrate.
"We're going home, Alex/ To our new luxury living accommodation."
"So, Alex," Raccoon was speaking, his voice curious as he peered over at the now platinum blond teen. "How'd you get involved with MI6, then?"
Raising his eyebrows, Ben turned to Alex, wondering whether the boy would answer. Truth be told (the fact being something that disgruntled the older spy), Ben didn't quite know that information himself. It wasn't everyday that a teenager got picked to be a secret agent. No. It wasn't any day at all, usually. And the fact that Alex was one (and a damn good one, at that) served to feed Ben's ever present intrigue.
Ben's ears twitched as the teenager cleared his throat dramatically, one fist pressed to his mouth- and immediately, all attention was fixed on Alex as he turned to face them, leaning in conspiratorially, his low voice enticing them all to lean forward, enraptured and anticipating the thought of being able to gain a little more insight into the mysterious teen- even Wolf leaned in a little.
"It was an odd day," Alex began, voice hushed. "The skies were dark the rain...not quite rain, more...splattery. A little like mist in the air. Or when you put your finger over a running tap and it sprays you. Or perhaps when you sit too close to that old headteacher, and when they speak, you get a face full of-"
Impatiently, they broke in with mutters of "get on with it", Ben shaking his head in mingled bemusement and irritation.
Glancing around again, Alex leaned in even closer, the seat creaking behind him as he pulled away from its clutches. "Well, I was already outside when the weather turned like that and I happened to have forgotten my umbrella. So, I decided to walk home. This time-" he paused, jaw tightening and eyes narrowing. "I took the short route," he near whispered.
"Yeah?" Raccoon murmured, completely taken with the tale.
"I didn't usually take the short route, not enough flowers, you know?" (By this time, Ben was a little suspicious of the truthfulness of the story) "But I went there anyway. But when I got to the last corner, I saw a man just stood there, umbrella out and just...staring. A hundred different thoughts passed through my head at that moment: What does he want? Is he my long lost brother? Is he an MI6 Agent?
"So I just yelled across the street 'Hey! You undercover from MI6?' and he went 'Yeah! What about it?' so I said 'Nothing much. Just walking. You know' and he said 'Yeah, I was just waiting for you, actually, wanted to recruit you' so I said 'Sure, why not? It's not like I'm underage and it's illegal to recruit me. Go for it!' so he said-"
Groaning, the SAS men slapped their foreheads, Ben long before having guessed that this wasn't the true story.
"Come on, Cub!" Eagle moaned.
"The real version, please," Wolf growled, though Ben noticed that his lips were struggling with a smile.
The teen glowered at them all. "Well, I don't here you telling me about how you wanted to be an SOD man or how Ben here got recruited,"
Ben moved uncomfortably as attention was shifted sharply onto him.
"Oh yeah..." Snake said thoughtfully. "I always did wonder how you got recruited."
"Go on," Wolf demanded, crossing his arms. "Spill."
Shooting Alex a teen which was blatantly ignored, he sighed and pulled a weary hand down his face, reminding himself of Alex's tricks in conversation. "It was a standard thing really," awkwardly, he shrugged. "They just noticed some aspects that I had and asked me whether I'd be willing to use them for the Secret Service instead of active duty. I liked their offer and so I took it."
There was a slight pause.
"Bo-ring," Eagle whispered behind him.
Irately, he twisted in his seat to glare at Eagle who was pretending to snore now. "Well sorry about that! Maybe you'd like to tell us how you got recruited by the-" he broke off and a mournful expression morphed his face. Slowly, he brought up a sympathetic hand to cover his sad mouth. "Sorry," he murmured. "I forgot. You didn't get recruited, did you?"
"Ouch," Snake laughed at Eagle's mock angered face.
"Ladies," Cub drawled, a grin clear in his voice. "Let's all calm down now and-"
"We haven't forgotten about you not giving us an answer, Cub," Wolf broke in gruffly, a triumphant smile on his face as Alex's expression dropped to grumpy again.
"Listen, guys, I'd love to tell you. But, you see, if I told you, I'd be breaking this pact I have with my two friends."
Ben frowned, caught up despite himself. "What friends?"
"Whythehelldoyouwannaknow? and It'snoneofyourbusiness." If Ben wasn't rapidly growing used to Alex's sarcasm, he would've taken the apologetic tone in his voice for the truth. "Sorry."
Closing his eyes and ignoring the outraged cries from the other vehicle travellers, Ben rubbed a hand over his eyes and blew out a sigh, lips twisted into a bemused smile.
Would there ever be a straight answer with Alex?
"Don't you dare tell me this is where we're going to be living,"
Looking up at the sound of the horrified voice, Alex frowned at the window (though of course, he couldn't see anything). "What's wrong with it?" he thought he was meant to be a celebrity. Surely he wouldn't be living somewhere horrible.
"Nothing! It's just...huge!"
"Look! There's a pool!" Eagle yelled from behind him, and if Alex could hear the grumbles of his seating partner right, the man had stood up and was pointint excitably out of the window.
"Fat lot of good that'll do us, we live in England," Snake pointed out a little pessimistically.
"I've always wanted to swim in the rain," Raccoon said a little dreamily.
"Guys, it's summer. We've got some good weather," Fox replied, exasperated.
"I blame global warming." Wolf said darkly.
"We're parking, guys! We're parking!"
"Seriously, Eagle? Pasrking?"
"You're all acting like immature brats,"
"Like you can talk, Wolf. I saw your mouth hanging open when we passed that car garage,"
"No I-"
"We've stopped!"
"Cub's acting more mature than you lot!"
"Hey, Cub, like it?"
Startled from his content of simply being able to bathe in their noise, he blinked and then pulled on a look to show that he had indeed been listening. Blowing a bit of his recently styled hair off of his face he tried for an enthusiastic nod. "Looks great."
Silence met his words.
Frowning, he attempted to work out their expressions. "What?"
"Seriously, Cub? You sound about as excited as somebody would when told they were going to die tomorrow," Wolf explained (and Alex coiuld imagine his eyebrow raised, arms crossed and fingers tapping against his arms in increduility at his words).
"Well, sorry if I'm not squealing like a five year old girl." Alex grumbled, pulling his face into a light scowl. (Rule number 1 in distractions: Do it subtly, maneuver the other person into becoming the distraction rather than yourself.)
Shouts of protest met his accusation and, smiling a little knowingly, he held up his hands and shook his head amusedly. "I'm not calling you guys five year old girls. I'm just saying..."
Before any other arguments to that could be made, Eagle broke in.
"Guys! We've stopped!"
"We don't need you to tell is everything that's happening, Eagle!" Snake complained as the engine of the minibus did indeed turn off.
Alex heard a soft expulsion of air from where Eagle sat behind him and he could imagine him glowering and huffing at Snake. Lips twitching, he forced himself to turn to Ben (he doesn't want to look at my eyes, he doesn't want to look at my eyes...) and look up at him, raising one eyebrow and tapping a finger against the window. "What now?" he asked, pinpointing from memory and a quick calculation where Ben's eyes would be.
"Right," the spy agreed and then raised his voice, the slight creak of the chair belying the fact that he had turned round to be heard. "Listen up! This is where we will be staring for this mission. For today, all our details were to do was to grow used to our accommodation and to build up out confidence in each of our roles. The house for the time being is safe and clear, but after today we've got to be in role. The only time we can drop out of role is inside the house after we have all been thoroughly checked for any type of bug or camera."
Concentrating, Alex focussed on Ben's voice even as the man took a slight pause. He had to make sure that he really was listening. Unlike the others, he didn't (anymore) have the luxury of seeing so he had to pull apart Ben's words to suck dry as much desperate information from them that he could.
"You've probably all read the cover story, but just to reassure myself, can someone please tell me what it is?"
Alex rolled his sightless eyes at the question. Really? It was like being in school again.
"Thank you for volunteering, Alex," Ben's voice broke in sweetly.
Exasperated, (definitely like school) he tipped his head back onto the chair and dredged up the information that Smither's gadget had read to him (he'd have to ask the man about changing the voice. It was alarmingly annoying. Too sugary. Like- like the voice had lived off of sherbet and candy canes. Ugh). "I'm named Milo Summers and am a new actor who lives here-" he gestured vaguely with a hand. "-with his manager George Shepard and his four bodyguards: dumb, dumber, even dumber and absolutely-"
"Alex." Ben warned, K-Unit growling in the background with Snake muttering that he was the first on the list.
Folding his arms and pulling a face, he amened the names. "Wolf-"
"Ha!" Wolf cut in triumphantly and then quickly shut up at the glare Snake shot him.
"-Snake, Eagle and Raccoon-"
"That's not fair! The kid doesn't even know me!" cried in pitiful objection.
Ignoring them, he carried on. "All of who will, for purposes of being brutish bodyguards have kept their codenames for 'intimidation' if anyone asks." he paused and then glanced to where he had heard Raccoon's voice coming from. "Except for Raccoon. He just wanted to sound cuddly. Like in Pocahontas. The greedy raccoon."
"That's not very nice," Raccoon moaned over the rest of their laughter.
"Well done," Ben interrupted as Alex opened his mouth to say more. "That'll do for now. At the moment, let's just go in and settle down. The room that will have been allocated to each one of you will have your name on the door." hearing the sound of multiple seat-belts unclipping, Alex swiftly followed suit; standing up and stretching languidly as he felt the bus move as the men trailed off of the bus, all talking with that blessed loud volume.
Happy to be surrounded by such telling noise, Alex was near grinning as he stepped down the stairs (1, 2, 3- he could hear their feet hit the ground) and followed the noise to where it led him, being careful to watch follow the sound of their footsteps lest they avoided anything.
(Mind the step...) Hopping into the doorway he was led t, Alex made a show of looking around, forcing an expression of slow-building excitement to show on his face.
"That's more like it." Snake approved from somewhere in front of Alex, no doubt taking in the teens 'excited' face and being relieved to see it.
(If only it was real.)
"I suppose we should all look round." Ben's voice came from beside Alex, and he turned his head accordingly. "Our bags should have been placed into whichever room we're in, so..." a rustle of clothing. (A shrug?) "Just go and have a look around the place."
Alex looked around as he heard footsteps moving away from him. He stood still in the middle of the...hallway and wondered which way to go. He'd have to move slowly lest he bump into-
"Come on, Cub! Don't just stand there!" a hand (belonging to Eagle) shot out and grabbed him by the wrist, tugging him away.
Swallowing down the rise of anxiousness in his stomach (he was being dragged and pulled somewhere but he couldn't see where!) he forced a lightly exasperated expression onto his face and quickly matched his footsteps with Eagle's as he was dragged uncerimoniously up the stairs. "Alright, alright! I'm coming!"
"Wow! Cub! There's a slide on the stairs!"
Twisting his head around as they moved towards yet another set of stairs (...20 footsteps, 25 footsteps, 50 footsteps to the stairs-) and he was hauled up them again, he made a grunt in the back of his throat to pretend that he understood.
Forcing down the want to put out his hand to grope at the walls, feel something solid next to his hand, he relaxed all his muscles even as he was tugged up another flight of stairs and led goodness knows where.
"See! The slide!"
Two hands pushed him forward in the back and he moved forward obediently to pretend to peer at the slide. "Yeah, looks cool," reaching out to touch the cool plastic and wondering what colour it was and knowing that he couldn't ask anyone to tell him.
A soft chuckle made him turn his head around.
The shove into his back was completely unexpected and for a moment, the breath left his chest as he was suddenly falling down, slipping everywhere, moving, falling, sliding-
-completely blind.
And it wasn't fun.
Struggling with his hands, he tried to put out his hands and stop the crazy black desent but he- he couldn't-
And suddenly, he'd stopped.
Lying there, eyes wide and flat on his stomach, bent over the end of the slide with his head near touching the ground, Alex stared blankly at the ground-
-sucked in a shaking breath-
0let it out again-
-closed his eyes-
-and just breathed.
(Breathe)
The sound of Eagle's laughter was loud from upstairs, and when the man called down to move out the way because he was coming down, Alex couldn't scramble off and away from the slide fast enough, almost slamming into a wall for his efforts.
Leaning against it, he steadied his heartbeat and rasping breaths, clearing his pallor just in time for Eagle to hit the bottom, whooping and crowing.
Alex smiled when Eagle asked him whether it was fun.
Laughed when he described the different colours inside of the slide.
And impatiently said that there were other places to explore when Eagle wondered whether he'd like another go.
"Right!" the man agreed, and Alex heard his footsteps quickly moving away and he hastened to follow them hurriedly, minding the stairs as he went.
Even as he was 'shown' the pool table, the games room, the TV room, he couldn't get rid of that stickiness to the palms of his hands or the slight strain in his chest when it came to smiling or admiring the rooms and objects.
Surreptitiously, he wiped his hands on his jeans (ignoring the tremble, ignore the tremble) and forced another sarcastic comment to Ealge's question.
Was...was too much noise sometimes a bad thing?
(But how could anything be worse than the silence?)
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
"Dinner is served!"
Alex stared down at his plate as it was clacked in front of him and sniffed subtly.
Peppery...a little like mince meat...he could smell herbs- basil and oregano, and...garlic? Garlic bread perhaps? A pasta dish?
"Thanks," he nodded to where he heard Ben sit down on what he suspected was the opposite side of the table to him. Gently reaching out his fingers to find a fork, he pulled it towards him and softly tapped the plate with his elbow to make sure he knew where it was before he could confidently tuck in.
"Did you guys see the size of that TV?" Raccoon hissed.
Nodding distractedly, concentrating on his meal, Alex nodded along with the rest of the mens mutters of "yeah".
"Pretty ridiculous if you ask me," Snake said, the tone of his voice perhaps giving to the fact that he had many times had this sort of argument and enjoyed it quite thoroughly.
"Well, if you've got the money," a pause that was probably filled with shovelling more food into his mouth, Raccoon continued, mouth still slightly full from the slight muffle to his voice. "You might as well spend it how you like."
"Hm," Wolf said, his cutlerly clacking against his plate. "I suppose so. Does seem a little ridiculous, though. Surely you've got better things to spend money on."
"I'm not complaining," Eagle stated matter-of-factly. "We get to live here. Whatever MI6 decide to spend there money on is fine by me! Go for it, I say!" had he raised his arm in the air with that statement?
Alex was too busy concentrating on his eating and making sure he didn't look like an idiot by missing the food on his plate to bother to contribute with the conversation. So when Snake asked for his input in the conversation, it somewhat made his fork slip and drop the pasta all down his top where it landed with a friendly plop on his jeans.
Alex stared down at the mess that he couldn't see.
"Tough luck," Raccoon said, but he seemed to be holding back laughter, probably getting payback for Alex making fun of his name.
"Right," he muttered, wondering just where his luck had gone or whether it had decided to pack its bags and go.
You're still here, aren't you? He thought harshly, cutting off that line of thought. You're still alive? You could have died but you didn't. You survived and here you are. So deal with it, Alex.
"Perhaps you'd better get changed into something a little cleaner," Ben said, taking mercy on him as he was laughed at.
"Yeah, you're right." Standing up and making a point of ignoring their laughter, he made his way to the stairs and walked up them, quietly pleased that all of his hardwork in practising remembering directions had payed off to the degree that he could remember a place back to front as soon as he had mapped it all out in his head through counting footsteps, remembering objects, walls and of course, doorways and stairs. As long as he had walked up all of them (the stairs, not the walls), and touched the walls to gain a span of how long and wide the room was, he was fine in the regard of navigatiting around it.
Moving up the stairs and towards his bedroom, dragging his fingers lightly across the wall to count the doors (fifth door...) when he found the door he was looking for, he slipped his hand towards the handle (right by my hip...) twisted, pushed, and opened.
Shutting the door behind him and unconciosuly humming under his breath, he made his way to where his suitcase should be, right under his-
"Ouch," he cursed as his knees slammed into the bed. Leaning down to rub at them, he grumbled under his breath. "Got to remember that," he muttered, glad for the sound of his voice in the silence.
Kneeling down, he groped for a while under the bed until his fingers came around the case and he tugged, pulling the bag out and settling on his heels, he quickly unzipped his bag and stared pointlessly inside.
It was empty.
Of course it was empty.
It had, after all, felt ridiculously light when he had pulled it out from underneath his bed. He just liked- well, he just liked to have that ability to-
OK.
He wasn't kidding anyone. He was alone up here, after all.
(His humming kicked up a notch)
He just liked to pretend that he could see. And, pretending to see things that he already knew maybe- maybe just tricked him into believing- being able to imagine more realisticly that he could see.
It was stupid, a little dumb, so he slammed the lid of the suitcase back on and stood up, ignoring the lingering purple velvet longing that trailed after him in a lonely shadow.
"Now," he murmured, hands on his hips and glaring in futility around the room. "Where are my clothes?"
The most likely place would be the cupboard, so he wandered cautiously around the room, hands outstretched as he set about to find the cupboard.
It didn't take him long to find it, and when he had opened it, he set about to drawing clumsy hands up the clothes to check what he was actually pulling out.
To his horror, these weren't even his clothes.
Pulling back, eyes wide, he briefly stopped his humming and took up the noise making in tapping his fingers against the wood of his cupboard.
It made sense that they weren't his own, though, he thought, tipping his head to the side in understanding as the thought gained lit enterance to his mind. He was a celebrity now; it was obvious that his wardrobe would have changed. He needed to have a certain style now, not just ordinary clothes- he had to wear things that magazines would spot and pull apart to chatter over.
Pulling out a pair of what felt like jeans, he squinted at them, prodding them suspiciously with one finger. But that left him in a dilemna. He'd grown used to his clothes, constant hours of running his hands over them, gettign used to the feel of them and then knowing just what to wear them with due to the reactions of people who had seen him.
But these clothes...these were completely new.
"I could really use a bit of that Rider Luck now," he muttered, brow furrowed in light worry as he rifled through tops and jackets.
In the end, he had just closed his eyes (useless), whispered a desperate plea under his breath and then pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of jeans (he'd very conciously retreated from the suspiciously leather feeling trousers and the weird feeling tops).
Still muttering a plea under his breath to please be OK to wear, he pulled the clothes on and made sure they were the right way round before moving towards the door hesitantly and pulling it open; making his way down the stairs.
When he drew closer to the dining room, he could hear the sound of their voices, talking about the mission in slightly more serious voices, he stopped just by the place that as soon as he stepped through, he would be in sight of the rest of the men.
Slightly nervous now (because he hated to be laughed at!), he dithered a little, just hovering there and needlessly smoothing down his clothes with slightly uneasy hands, trying to ignore the fact that he had no idea what he had on and to just- just go with it.
Breathing in, crushing his pestering self doubt like dried leaves beneath his feet, he stepped boldly out into the open, hoping the defiance on his face wasn't too noticable.
Conversation gradually filtered into silence.
His fingers twitched anxiously by his sides.
He hated silences.
Luckily (or unluckily), the silence didn't last long.
Bursts of laughter exploded out into the air like fireworks on a still night- their colours exploding in bliding vibrancy that he defensively raised his chin.
"What are you wearing?" Snake gasped out among the deafening roars of laughter that collided into one another.
"What do you mean?" he snapped quickly.
The question only seemed to intensify the laughter. "Look at what he's wearing!" Eagle sounded absolutely breathless with laughter.
"Are you trying to tell us something, Cub?" was Snake grinning, pointing? What?
"No fashion sense at all!" Raccoon wheezed during his laughter.
Face bright red (stuffing down the hurt and the burning in his eyes because he couldn't see! And he had tried but it was so difficult to know when he couldn't see what he was puttign on!) he finally clenched his jaw and turned stiffly on his heel and marched out of the room, laughter and joking wolf-whistles following him as he strode stiffly away.
Getting to his room, he slammed the door shut, yelling. "Alright!"
There was a pause in laughter, and then the noises started up louder than before, hooting at his demise.
Sliding down the door and gritting his teeth, Alex angrily wrenched off his top and flung it as hard as he could towards wherever.
Then hoped when he had calmed down he wouldn't trip over it.
Dragging his knees up to his chest, he pushed his hands through his hair and screwed his eyes shut.
A light knocking on his door disturbed his brooding.
"Alex?"
Ben.
Sighing a silent long-suffering sigh, he forced himself to answer. "Yes?"
"Are you OK?" the man asked from the other side of the door.
The hands in his hair clenched tighter in his hair, pulling a little at the recently colour changed hair and ignoring the sting. "I'm fine," he said tightly.
And really, he was. He just needed a little time to...calm down. Then he would be fine. He was just- just acting like a baby, really. Nothing else to it. He just needed to- to relax. Stop getting wound up and hurt over nothing.
There was a soft lull; as if Ben didn't quite believe what Alex was telling him (which he prayed he did) before the man started speaking again. "Don't worry about your clothes, Alex. That's my job to choose what you wear, anyway."
"I'm not worrying," he bit out, his voice doing nothing to back up the claim and he knew it.
"If you say so," the voice carried a hint of an apricot smile, laced at the edges in a delicate something. An emotion or feeling that Alex couldn't properly pick out or decipher. "Can I come in? It's a little weird talking to a closed door."
"No." he said, deadpan. "Oow!" he scowled as the door banged into his back, Ben trying to push open the door. "I said no!" he snapped. "Ow!" he shouted again as the door smacked into his back again. "Stop it!"
"Then get out of the way of the door," Ben said simply, a laugh evident in his voice.
"Just give me a second, I'm...naked." he muttered, falling onto his hands and knees to search for his t-shirt, drawing his hands through the fluffy carpet and attempting to find it with his fingers.
Finally, after a hurried and lumbering search he felt the material around his fingers, sorting it to the right way round and then pulling it on hastily, he called the man a little bad-temperedly in, still sat on the carpet, twisting away from where he must have been facing the wall when Ben came in.
"Hey," he said amiably, his footsteps muffled as he moved over to drop onto the floor next to Alex.
"Hey," he muttered in reply, flicking at his jeans.
"How are you feeling about the mission?" thankfully, he didn't bring up the clothing issue again and Alex leaned into the conversation hungrily.
Shrugging, he scratched at his eyebrow. "I'm OK. I know what I've got to do so hopefully it should all go to plan." he didn't bother saying how nothing ever really did go to plan when it came to him.
"Hopefully," Ben's voice didn't sound like he wholly believed Alex's words but he continued speaking, anyway. "How about the acting? Do you think you'll be OK for that?"
Alex stretched his mouth up into a humourless smile. "I'm a spy," he said simply, raising his hands in indication to the fact. "Acting is what I do best."
"Hm. True." There was again a small pause in the conversation and Alex stiffened, knowing something was coming and just being able to feel Ben's eyes on him, thoughtful and considering. "Alex," he began slowly, as if testing the water and thus proving Alex's prediction to be true. "I realise that this isn't your first mission, but...just be careful. You're not alone for this one so if you ever feel like you need help or you're worried about something, please just ask. We're not going to hold back from helping you."
Mulling over his words, Alex soon nodded and gave Ben a small smile. "I'll bare that in mind, thanks."
They were nice words, really.
It was just a shame that he didn't need help.
Something hardened inside of him at the thought.
He wasn't a- he wasn't an invalid. He didn't need help.
The offer was nice- warming, in fact- but the simple fact was that he didn't need it.
Ben's hand patted against his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "I feel like you're not telling me something, Alex," he admitted quietly.
Alex froze into place but kept his face gently confused.
The subtle sound of hair against hair ruffling (shaking his head?) and a soft exhalation of air. "But it doesn't matter. I'm sure you'll tell me later," leaning in, breath a little closer than before, a smile? Pressured to meet the eyes that he couldn't meet, Alex dropped them, attempting to hide the obvious blindness of them through staring at the floor and tipping his hair over his eyes. "Or I'll find out myself." came the teasing words. "I am a spy, after all. It's my job to find things."
And I'm a spy too, it's my job to hide things well, he thought quietly, eyes still lowered.
It was going to be a ridiculous game of hide and seek.
Ben the cat and Alex the mouse.
His fingers tightened around the carpet.
But that's OK, he thought grimly, I'm used to being the chased.
Before dark memories could enroach upon his facial expression, he pulled his lips up into a wolfish and challenging smile. "Catch me if you can," he grinned, hoping against hopes that he wouldn't.
A light laugh, a hand reaching out and he stiffened, readying for the contact.
A hand settled itself on his head amongst his hair.
He could imagine the man smiling.
A smile he hadn't seen in months.
A smile he would never see again.
Gentle, soft, caring.
(Hot, sticky and the familiar burn to his eyes that couldn't see. But he was all alone in the-) Darkness had robbed him of that.
But he could imagine it all the same.
He couldn't work out whether that was a release- or a cruel curse- ever teasing but flitting out of his reach like a wind-borne nymph, flicking at him but darting away before he could catch it in both hands and hold it tight to him and never let it go.
"I'll hold you to that, Alex," was the fond voice-
-carrying a smile that he would never see.
x-x-x-x-x-x
Alex had grown to hate waking up and falling asleep.
Before he had lost his sight, he used to long for the time when he could just close his eyes and sleep.
But now his eyes were constantly closed.
He was constantly swallowed within that chasm of leering, taunting blackness.
And when he awoke, he often had to work out whether he was awake or not.
(Get rid of that expectation to see anything other than dark,
The light or the brightness or the sun's telling mark,
Because everything will fade invitably
and starless black is the only thing you'll see)
"Awake," he whispered, a snow petal in the blackness, his fingers digging tight into the duvet pulled around him. "I'm awake." he steeled his certainty.
Yes.
He was awake.
Pulling out his arms from the warm embrace of his covers he fiddled with the watch and allowed it to speak the time into his ear- another little 'surprise' Smithers had implanted in his watch.
3:17 the clock said, low in his ear and Alex had to hold back the response to flinch from it.
He groaned, rolling onto his stomach and pressing his face into the pillow.
Great.
Why on earth was he awake so early?
Because you dreamed about seeing things that-
Alex quickly sat up and swung his legs over the side of his bed.
He'd rather not visit such skeletal places.
Stepping up and stretching, his hair most likely scruffy, he decided to grab a quick shower and get changed with the clothes Ben had put out on his bed. It wasn't like he was going to be able to go back to sleep, anyway.
Yawning, he made his way to his ensuite shower.
Clean and refreshed and changed, he quietly opened up his door and slipped out, wary not to wake anyone else up with stumbling and banging around the room.
Pulling his trilby hat off; feeling a little stupid for wearing it inside, he made his way down the stairs, steps as soft as a panther.
Trailing his hand down the banister, he made his way into the kitchen, intent on finding something to do- even if that was only finding out where the cereal was kept before anyone could ask him why he was searching for the cereal when it was right next to him.
Finding the cereal after a few minutes worth of a search, he abandoned his search for a bowl and ate it dry instead, bringing it to the window where he sat down and stared out at nothing.
The thoughts came with all the warning of a bullet (which wasn't much)- as they usually did when the Silence came calling, asking hoarsely for victims to prey on.
He awoke screaming this time.
The sound of his cry filled the whole of the Silence with a frightening and shouldn'tbethereshouldn'tbereal sound, piercing his sensitive ear.
He quickly shut up.
But then the Silence was too loud.
Rolling onto his side, he clapped his hands over his ears and dragged in ragged breaths, eyes wide but unseeing and listening only to the chaotic crash of his heartbeat and butchered breaths.
Curling in on himself, he tried to stop the ensuing tide of panic that washed up inside of him because he was alone. Alone in his own house that didn't feel like his own house anymore because he couldn't seee anything and now every sound was a threat and he wouldn't be able to defend himself properly because-
-A creak on the floorboards outside his room.
He froze.
The sounds got closer and closer, creaking and creaking and his door swished open.
Blindly, he stared out, made to make a shaking and defiant retort but a hand clapped onto his mouth, a scream rose in his throat-
His eyes snapped open again.
Shakily, he dragged a hand over his eyes, the scream dying in his throat before it rose up.
Sitting up from where he'd fallen asleep on his sofa last night, fitfully listening to movies that he had seen before and now tried to place the pictures towards.
A- a dream?
Still breathing in short bursts, hands still shaking, he looked around slowly.
No.
Not a dream.
Silence called softly for him, hugging every part of him.
He was still alone.
Glaring at the memory, he shook the glassy feel off of himself and stood up quickly (the walls suddenly seeming too tight, too close-) and made his way to the door.
The security lock on the door was an easily fixed problem as it had been written down in the briefing notes, and it was simple that he whisked out a key and slotted it into the door.
A small smile made its way onto his face as he hummed softly, barely audibly under his breath. Time to go exploring.
Clicking open the door and being careful to lock it behind him, he stepped out into the cool night air, pushing his hat onto his head as the wind pushed his hair about in a frustrating way.
Careful now, extremely conscious of the fact that somewhere in these premises there was a ppol about the place-
-water ran down his face as he came up gasping for air, clinging onto the arm that held him aloft above the water.
"Please," and he was begging to nothing because he couldnt' even see the person. His voice dug at his pride, gasping, weak. Terrified. Water stung his eyes and he choked out some more water, hands scrabbling at the mans arm and sucking in greedy air, body half under water. "Please, no more! I- I can't-"
The sudden push under water was so unexpected that his mouth opened and he was choking! Choking underwater but he couldnt' tell which way was up or down so he couldn't swim anywhere! He was- he was- he was-
A violent hand tore him up again.
"PLEASE!" he was near sobbing now, clawing at the arm and kicking, kicking kicking kicking to try and get free to try, to try and break-
-water filled his mouth again.
Snapping away from the thoughts with a sharp hiss, he shook them off like droplets of dirty water and strode anywhere. He needed to walk. He needed to move because he couldn't move away from the memories. He needed to- needed to move.
Walking cautiously, Alex froze when after about forty-five minutes. His foot passed over nothing.
The pool?
Shrugging away the howls and shrieks of his memories (he needed to get over this fear!) he sat on the floor and pulled off his socks, not having bothered to wear shoes as he liked to feel the difference in textures under his feet.
Hesitantly, shuffling over to the edge of the pool, he pulled away the cover, standing up to cautiously walk around the whole length of the pool until he had pulled the whole thing off and it lay in a heap against the floor somewhere.
Then, sitting on the floor carefully, he slid his feet into the pool, shivering at the coldness of it.
Softly, singing a song he didn't even know what it was, he kicked at the water, his head tilted up as he wondered whether the sun was coming up and whether he'd be able to feel it kiss against his skin.
The sound of clicking alerted him to something.
He frowned and stopped staring at the sky, turning around, feet still dangling in the water, curious as to what the sounds were.
What were they.
"Milo."
He knew that voice.
Turning, he smiled at where he thought Ben was. "Nice morning, right?" he hoped his voice didn't sound too awkward, and he wondered over the sudden usage of his cover name.
Ben didn't respond to the greeting, but Wolf did, his footsteps and other approaching. "Come on," for some reason, he sounded extremely irritated. "You need to come inside," to Alex's surprise, the vocie passed him, carrying on moving.
Baffled when Snake and Eagle (he had grown used to what they felt like) lifted him up and away from the pool and led him inside, he twisted his head round, able to hear the sound of Wolf arguing with voices he didn't recognise, Raccoon's voice amid them,
"What's going on?" he asked, voice hushed as he stepped inside the house.
No one answered straight away and he stood there in the hallway with dripping feet wondering whether that was because they were staring at him in anger, confusion, amusement or any other emotion, or whether they generally didn't know.
"What's going on?" he repeated sharply, louder- disliking the fact that he couldn't see what their expressions were like.
Footsteps and the click of a door opening alerted him to the fact that Wolf and Raccoon had come back in. Moving out of the way and bumping into someone, he apologised in a mutter and returned to glaring at them all.
"What do you think you were doing?"
Alex pulled away from the angry voice and he narrowed his eyes at Wolf. "Will you please explain? Then maybe I can too." he near spat.
Another silence greeted his words.
Filled with...what?
"What do you mean you don't know? How can you not know?" Raccoon asked incredulously.
"I don't say words just for the sake of them!" he barked back, quickly growing tired of his needing to fish for every sort of answer.
"Didn't you see the paparazzi at the gates?" Eagle's voice was full of disbelief. "They were snapping pictures like anybody's business!"
Alex blinked at them all- maybe a little stupidly. He wouldn't know.
So that was what the clicks were.
"I didn't see them," he said under his breath, curling his toes into the carpet and leaning back, swallowing down the fear at the fact that people had been watching him, watching him and taking pictures and he hadn't even known.
"I thought you were meant to be a spy?" Wolf's voice was scathing.
That hurt.
Months ago- months ago, he'd have been able to see them. He'd- he'd have been able to see them.
No answer to that sharp retort could be found in the constantly colour shifting valleys of his mind.
"Right." Ben said after a slightly uncomfortable pause. "I suppose that was your first taste of fame, Alex."
He couldn't find the energy to reply, continuing to stare at the carpet.
A small sigh. "It all starts now, Milo." the use of his fake name didn't go unnoticed by Alex. "In an hour we've got to get to the studio and meet the rest of the cast. You know what you've got to do, but we can't have you spacing out-"
"I wasn't spacing out," he snarled.
Another pause (how he was growing tired of those damn pauses full of things he didn't know!). "That's not what it-"
His lip curled.
What it looked like.
What it flipping looked like.
Couldn't people do anything other than look?
"Maybe," he said, voice forcefully calm but oddly frightening, even he got shivers from using it. "You need to start using something other than your eyes." with that said, he shoved past and strode with liquid anger up the stairs to get some new socks.
Hands slapping a little forcefully against the banisters, he struggled to quench the rage inside him.
Hiding his blindness was going to be harder than he thought.
At first, he'd thought that it would simply be a matter of hiding some sort of problem; something that could be hidden. But it was hard. Blindness was- as much as he loathed to admit it- a part of him now. And denying it's existence was tearing at him too.
Worse, he realised he may have given Ben more of a hint into what was wrong.
Cursing, slamming his knuckles into his forehead, he realised that he was going to have to work even harder. Meeting the cast was today. He had to make sure that everything he did was perfect.
A cold wash of uncertainty flushed over him.
But could he do it?
"WE LOVE YOU, MILO!" the sudden screams surprised him and he stumbled away from the window he had been passing, heart thumping in his chest.
He had to be perfect-
-and everyone would be watching.
Suddenly, he felt a little sick.
X-x-x-x-x-x
AN- HEY Y'ALL! Well, I must say, your reviews really did enthuse me to write this chapter ASAP so thank you for that! KEEP GOING! You're all fabulous! Ha. Well, Alex goes to the studio tomorrow. I wonder how that goes...but then again...YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!
HA HA HA HA HACK! HACK! *coughs, thumping at chest as flails for water as angry reader holds the glass away*
Joke...joke...it was a joke! Now gimme the water! *gulps greedily at water, spilling down chin and wiping away with a relieved gasp*
I was joking. Seriously.
Do you wanna know? Think you already know? Wish you didn't? TELL ME! I do want to hear your wonderful voices!