AN- person in apple suit walks in smoking a bubble pipe which isn't technically smoking but...yeah. I'll stop now. Slings an arm across a wall and appraises you* Yeah. So. It's been a while since I visited this haunt. Well, not really. I've haunted this chapter for ages and I still don't like it. But, well, I think I worked it over so many times that I've killed it. Completely missed the 'Handle With Care' label on it. Yeah? Well. That's it. Sorry for the wait. The waits you have are never unproductive or neither do I just leave you hanging out of laziness, it's more me constantly working on it but it never being ready to show. This baby's not ready. I don't think it'll ever be ready, but here y' have it. Chapter 4. Read, yeah?
Alex's fingers tapped against the inside of the car.
He hummed softly.
Gently, his foot kicked against the seat in front of him, creating a dull tap, tap.
Breathing, he blew out once, fluttering his hair out of his eyelashes and away from his forehead and then started up his humming again, gazing blindly at the window, fingers tapping, foot kicking and breaths-
"Milo," Ben said slowly, his voice carrying a hint of impatience to it. "Can you please stop with your tapping and humming?"
Alex (Milo, Alex! Milo!) stopped his finger just as it was about to hit the inside of the car again. His hums died out.
For a moment, there was blessed (for the rest of the occupants of the car) silence.
And then the engine cut off.
(silence was back)
The humming kicked up again.
"Milo!" Ben snapped.
"Sorry, sorry," he muttered, forcing his fingers into his lap and away from where they could fiddle or- or make noise or tap or hit or-
"There's no need to be nervous," George soothed, one hand resting against Ale- Milo's- shoulder, the voice a different tone to what he was used to. A little more brisk, clipped and efficient. Ben was definitely in character.
Alex's fingers scrubbed against the leather of the car seat, and he swallowed down the desperate urge to hum.
Alex wasn't in character.
He needed to be, though.
He needed to- needed to take a deep breath ("Breathe deeply, Rider," hands pushing into water) push a breath out and act.
Become Milo.
(a person who could see)
He needed to forget that he couldn't see.
He needed to- needed to do what he did quite often.
Pretend.
Alex had always been good at pretending. Though that was an obvious- because he was a spy, after all, it was still something that, when his brief counsellor (she didn't last long) caught onto, had berated it over being "unhealthy" or "a wrong way to escape from his fears". But, the problem was, Alex didn't think it was unhealthy. He was perfectly fine. There he was, still alive and kicking (although sightless) and he was happy. He was happy and smiling and he laughed and sometimes...sometimes when dark and leering memories stalked him at the dead of night, when they opened their foul mouths and called in torn whispers for him to satisfy their hunger, it was only this pretense that saved him. Because he could pretend that sadness wasn't sadness. He could pretend that he was happy and not so scaredandaloneandallalone. Pretend so hard and so well that sometimes he himself got each persona mixed up.
So, that was what he would do now.
Pretend.
Ben was getting worried. Alex hadn't replied to his question yet, and their "bodyguards" were giving him curious and confused looks, peering at Alex with bewilderment clear in their eyes. Ben was about to ask again, just as a minor test as to whether or not Alex was truly in Milo's character when Ben saw Alex change completely.
It was jarring and unnerving.
One moment, he was sat there blankly staring out of the window, one hand pressed into the leather of the car seat and the other pressed against the side of the car door, and the next, everything about him just changed.
It was as if he had melted into Milo's persona.
His back relaxed slightly- still straight- still postured, but the way he held himself- the air about him was different. Before, Alex had held an air of solitude and danger- as much as it unnerved him to admit it. But now...
...Now he held an air of fame. Definite fame and confidence. It was in the way his lips turned up into a smile as he tilted his head to glance at Ben, in the way his words flowed out from his mouth like broken down diamonds and dripping gold.
"George," Milo said, a light reprimand. "You should know the answer to that." the lips pulled up more, and an elegant hand shifted towards the handle in the car. "I don't get nervous."
x-x-x-x-x-x
Elizabeth- or Beth Melgroves as she preferred to be called- gathered up the script that she had been handed by the Assistant Director and restlessly flicked through it, absently listening to the talk of the arrived actors and actresses as they sat comfortably around on various coloured beanbags, rugs or chairs. The Director, Willis Honey, was very much into having things airy and fun and had a keen hatred towards doing things in to serious a way. Thus it would be that the script reading would be held in a ragged circle formation, and each new arrival given a funny hat to wear (why wasn't she laughing, then?).
Beth pushed at the polka-dot hat she wore absently, desperate to look through the script but having been denied the right until everyone had arrived. So far, they were waiting for Milo Summers, Tricia Parks, Frederick Burton, Lise Nbwenga and Reeva Leroy.
But most importantly, they were waiting for Milo Summers.
Milo Summers who no one had actually seen in person.
And he was to act the main male lead alongside her- the main female lead.
"I really want to get started,"
Beth turned to who spoke next to her.
It was Toby Winter- a well known actor who had starred in several movies ever since the age of twelve, and had been moving up and up since then. Now, he had taken the role as her older brother and too was starring in the movie Losing Vanessa directed by the world famous Willis Honey. He smiled at her, navy and white starred wizard hat perched on his red curls, his freckled nose wrinkled in a smile. "Don't you?"
Beth smiled at him, tapping the script with a finger. "Quite badly, actually,"
He hummed in agreement, and then twitched to the side, his attention taken by something that was happening behind Beth.
Frowning, she twisted in her seat to catch what had taken his attention from her (which not very many things did. What? She was pretty! No point in lying about it!).
It seemed the Director looked excited about something. The remaining scripts he had in his hand were shoved into the assistant Director's hand, and he said something quickly to her, his hands flapping, before he quickly left through the door- almost jogging, the door swinging shut behind him.
A trill of excitement shot through Beth, and she glanced at Toby who glanced back and shifted his eyebrows up and down, mouthing "Milo" with a small smile in place.
Beth nodded and shifted in her seat so that she was settled more on the edge, rather than fully on the chair. Toby mimicked her action, and leaned outwards further, blatantly showing his curiosity- unlike Beth who preferred to play it cool.
Voices caught their attention, and soon, Beth saw the Director chatting excitedly to an ash blond haired boy who was followed by his manager and bodyguards. From this distance, she couldn't hear the words that were being spoken, but when she saw Toby stand up in the corner of her eye, she whipped towards him.
"What are you doing?" she whispered, unsure as to why she was doing so.
He gave her an odd look, one eyebrow raised and one hand gesturing to the boy and Director. "To go and meet him, obviously. Coming?" in exaggerated gallantry, he extended one hand and pulled a mock gentlemanly face.
Stifling a bemused snort, she excepted the hand and curtsied playfully, following after Toby as he grinned back and led her away, her arm hooked under his.
When they got closer to the Director and who actually was Milo (he actually existed!) Beth was finally able to take him in properly.
Of course, she had seen pictures of him in magazines; when the cast was decided, there was a headshot of him too. But that was different from seeing someone in real person. The camera could never fully capture someone to the degree of which seeing someone in real life could. He had a good posture, stood straight but relaxed, full of rolling snowy confidence- it was there in his eyes. Beth critically examined his face, looking for signs of plastic surgery or other unnatural alterations (someone could naturally look like...that?), but found nothing. The angled face and sharp cheekbones were real, as were the curved lips, the elegant nose, the aqua eyes-
Beth paused and blinked.
The eyes.
He had odd eyes.
"His eyes are strange," Toby muttered to her, ignoring Beth's elbow in his side at the rude comment, he himself having noticed the sight of his eyes.
She frowned. Weird...was an ineloquent way of describing it. Rather than weird, they were...strangely captivating, confusing, and unnerving all in one. They were almost like pools of water, reflective surfaces made of slightly breathed on precious gems. And when the eyes turned onto her, Beth froze.
Rather than looking at her, it was as if they were showing her something.
Showing her herself.
"Ah," the Director glanced in her direction and beamed (Beth pulled a model-worthy smile back). "I see Beth and Toby want to meet you," he clapped a hand on Milo's back, and the teenager's eyes flickered away from Beth to land back on him, a slow smile pulling at the corners of his lips as if there was some secret joke that only he was part of- it was oddly charming. "Well, I'll leave you to it. We'll be starting as soon as the rest arrive, so, go and meet the cast and we'll be beginning shortly," giving his back another pat, the Director turned to his rather business-like looking manager and bodyguards. "George Shepard? If you'd allow me to discuss the timetable..."
Beth's eyes wandered away from Director Willis Honey and back onto Milo who turned and nodded to them, stretching out a hand before either Toby or Beth had the chance to. "It's nice to meet you," he said, voice like melted chocolate. The smile returned, but this time, the secret joke included them, making Beth feel like they both were sharing something delightful and wonderful that only they three knew. It was a warming sensation.
Beth smiled and reached out, clasping his hand with her own and giving it a delicate shake. "It's nice to meet you too. I look forward to working with you,"
He detached his hand and moved it towards Toby who took it in a firm grasp and shook it. "Yeah, it's nice to meet you, Summers. It's our first time meeting in person, isn't it?"
Milo's smile seemed to widen, and the secret expanded, making them unconsciously lean in further to hear what he had to say. "Yes, it's our first time meeting," for a while, his eyes flickered from Beth to Toby, and Beth tried to catch the gaze, mesmerised (it was almost like trying to catch a crystal butterfly). "But we'll have plenty of time to get to know each other whilst acting," he clapped his hands together suddenly. "Right?"
Beth found herself nodding alongside Toby, smiling despite herself. "Right,"
Milo's eyes crinkled in a laugh, and even though nothing was really funny, Beth and Toby for some reason felt tickled enough to laugh along.
"I suppose I should go and meet the rest of the cast, then," Milo said, his brow furrowing and fingers tapping at the script he held in his left hand. "Fancy joining me?"
"That would be-"
Beth's words (annoyingly) were cut off as the Director moved forward. "Sorry, Milo, I forgot," reaching out, he pressed a pirate hat onto his head and stepped back, satisfied. "It's to make the atmosphere lighter,"
Raising a hand, he pushed the hat inquisitively, eyebrow arched in bemusement. "Sounds like fun. Now," his hand extended again and Beth's hand seemed to gravitate towards it. The secretive smile was back, his (unnatural) glass eyes warm towards them both. "Shall we?"
"We shall," Toby said in mock seriousness, exchanging a glance with Beth who smiled when she caught his eye.
Lowering her eyes, Beth smothered the desire to widen her smile into another laugh. Milo was intensely interesting, and to be quite honest, Beth was very much looking forward to working with him, and even get to know him better.
This time, the smile enlarged, a small skip slipping into her step.
Her eyes slid onto him, but Milo seemed not to notice her attention, busy speaking to Toby who introduced him to the person who was to act as Officer Reginald in the movie. She caught sight of his fascinating eyes again and she couldn't quench the widening of her smile and soft laugh into her breath, waving away Toby's inquiring gaze.
Yes, getting to know him much better.
x-x-x-x-x-x
"Well, I suppose we should get started then," Director Willis Honey tapped a hand on the script he held. "I thought for today, before we get into the production stage, we could just go over the script, what I expect of you and so forth. So, anyone read the book Losing Vanessa?"
Everyone put their hands in the air, exchanging smiling looks with those who sat around the circle.
Milo (Alex) dropped his arm and then leaned his chin on his fist, aware he was for the moment, the secretive centre of attention and accordingly playing it cool, pretending not to notice but notice all the same. A tricky game he was playing, he was sure.
"Great, none of you are slacking off then. Even though you've read it, anyone care to explain the plot?" Director Honey gazed around until his eyes landed on a raised arm. "You, Lise? Go for it,"
Milo tilted his head to where the voice was coming from, keeping his face lightly interested as the woman spoke although he knew very clearly just what the book contained, it's origins, the author and probably more detail about the novel than they were expected to know. His lips flickered into a small smile. There was nothing wrong with being safe, though, was there?
"OK then, well, it's about a girl called Anna who moves to a new town with her older brother Ren and single mum after their father leaves them. The town they move into is only a small town and secrets spread like wildfire. Basically, she tries to settle into the new town but soon finds herself meeting the local 'trouble maker' Robin who is a rebellious and, well, dysfunctional teenager. He's a magnet for trouble and seems to be searching for something. She finds herself quickly falling for him, but the town is full of secrets and lies- and oddly afraid of the mention of the name Vanessa, in a main chapter, when she tries to bring up the name to Robin, he goes all weird and cold.
"Trapped within her own feelings of love for him, which she deludes herself into believing are returned, Anna soon chases after Robin, getting into more trouble in the process as the whole town is extremely suspicious of the teenage boy and he's for some reason being chased by the police. Anna gets into trouble with Robin and fights with her brother who is sure he's bad news and has an unhealthy dose of trust for any boy that captures his sisters attention.
"Cutting things short, after getting into more scraps with Robin and his obsessed searches which lead to ugly things about the town being exposed, it turns out that Vanessa was a murdered girl who he can't get over- even though she's dead. He's after the one who killed the girl and as he gets closer to the secret, another revelation pops up; that being that he's the only son and heir to the family who own the town and the land surrounding it. Not only that, but he has the police running after him since he ran away from home to try and get revenge on the person who killed Vanessa.
"Robin is taken back home and it's Anna- still reeling from the thought that Robin's in love with a dead girl still but determined to gain his affections- comes and breaks him free, promising to help find the murderer. Yeah...that wasn't really cutting things short, but this is, I swear! They in the end, with the help of Ren who finally forms a delicate bond with Sky, manage to find the person who killed Vanessa, the person being their father. There comes trauma, anger and then, after things settle and time passes, Sky finally manages to lay Vanessa down to rest and tentatively accepts Anna. The end." Puffing out a breath, Lise let out a short laugh at the applause and whistles that rang around her. "Thank you, thank you." she said in mock acceptance of the applause.
"Thanks for that, Lise." Director Honey must have been smiling; it was lit up all over his voice like a handful of fairy lights. "I look forward to working with all of you. Each and every single one of you here are wonderful talents, and let's make this movie a success!"
Cheers burst into the air after his triumphant little speech and Milo turned and smiled at Toby who nudged him in the side. The air was quite clearly filled with excitement over the new movie.
"I've told your manager your rehearsal schedules, and I expect you all to be on time," had he waved a finger with that comment? There were chuckles, anyway. "Keep going through your lines and immersing yourself into the characters and have fun with it, as much as you can. There are quite a few sad parts in the script, but they're impressive parts, anyway. The first scene I want to start with is with Milo, Beth, Toby, Fredrick, Peter, Hannah and Reeva. The meeting scene between Robin and the rest of the characters. We'll do a run-through- just to see how you interact with each other." the Director hummed. "I'm sure you've all met the team you'll be working with, the assistant director, backstage crew and so forth?"
Mumbled assents followed his question.
"Very good, very good, well, I won't keep you any longer, I've heard from your managers that you've all had to push something out of the way for this meeting, so thanks for that." he clapped his hands. "Feel free to hang around if you want, but we start properly in a weeks time. Get plenty of rest, look after yourselves, eat well and stay healthy! Then I'm sure we'll all work well together."
Milo clapped along with the others, vaguely surprised at how brief the meeting was. Around him, he could hear people standing up, and he too moved to stand up, stretching lightly, pulling his arms over his head and tipping his head back.
"Milo,"
Tilting his head to the voice and dropping his arms, Milo- or Alex- (sometimes he had to remind himself) passed his blind eyes to where he predicted the voice of Toby had come from.
There was a pause, and then: "Why are you staring at my chin?"
Alex's eyes snapped up a little more at the amused voice. His lips pulled into a teasing smile (well...that was embarrassing...) and he let out a light laugh. "Is that what it is?"
"Oh, ha ha, very funny," Toby said sarcastically, and Milo twitched at the sound of his rubber soles squeaking slightly against the (wooden? Lino?) floor, a rustle of clothing signifying he had his hands in his pockets? he had shifted to the left? to the right? What? "I was going to ask if you were doing anything now, but since you've insulted my beautiful chin, I was thinking of retracting that offer," he said in mock haughtiness, a laugh tinging the edges of his voice.
From somewhere behind him, he heard a soft gasp, (Beth) and he wondered what had elicited the noise (of horror? Shock? Disappointment? Surprise?) briefly before returning his thoughts to the conversation. Alex's thoughts whizzed. He was supposed to be getting closer to Beth, though. But, if there was a way that he could include her into that offer..."Well, I'll have to check with my manager but that should be-"
"Could I come along, too? I'm free for the rest of the day," Beth cut him off, and Milo smelt crushed petals as she drifted past him and stopped somewhere to his left-a-little-to-the-right-no-more-up-in-front of him. "The meeting was faster than my manager had expected," she must have been smiling at that statement.
Milo tossed her his own smile too, one hand reaching to nip the earing in his ear as he held down a grin of satisfaction. Seemed like things were gradually working out themselves. "Sounds like fun! Now," he made a show of looking around and tried to not feel stupid. "Where's George?"
"You called?"
Milo turned swiftly and pulled a mock frown to where his manager now stood beside him, his voice clipped and efficient as he asked Milo what was wrong. "Nothing, George, I was just wondering if we have the rest of this day free or not,"
There was a pause and a muffled laugh from Toby and Milo wondered what was going on to make the sound issue forth. Was it something he should be laughing at, too?
Breath rushed across his ear but he forced himself to stay still and relaxed, smiling lightly (careful now...smile like a star...alluring now) as Toby whispered into his ear. "Your manager's just as stiff as mine. I'm sure they'd get along well," he murmured, stifling a laugh.
"Which one's yours?" he murmured back (every movement sleek, now), his eyes tipping towards where he knew (a little upwards...a little more to the right) where Toby's eyes to be, but making sure they didn't linger on them for too long lest he notice the unblinking quality of them.
"The one stood by the water fountain, she's called Kirley. Nice, but super strict," Toby replied.
"Reminds me of someone," he mused quietly.
"Milo!" George snapped.
Feigning innocence and nudging Toby when he snorted in laughter, Milo nodded. "Yeah, George?"
"I said you're free now, but later on tonight, at around 5, I've planned for you to go through the script." a rustle of papers. "So yes, you're free for now,"
Toby whooped and Milo stood still as an arm was draped across his shoulders and he was tugged into the older boy's side. "Right then! Beth and Milo, where do you want to go?"
A snorting laughter sound to his side. "Where can we go?"
"Back to mine?" Toby offered.
"To yours?"
Milo raised one eyebrow, wondering at the strained quality of Beth's voice and wishing vainly he could see her face or around him to work out more fully what was causing such a tone of voice. It made it much harder having to work things out from sound alone. "Sounds fun, right?" he posed the question lightly; probing to get more information out of Beth.
A slight hesitation and obvious forced joviality. "Sure! Let me just go and tell my manager!" a squeak of shoes on the floor and then footsteps disappearing .
Milo gazed blindly after her, his mind whizzing over her tone, the speed of her speech, the pauses...
...she was jealous.
Jealous of what?
"She's jealous." Toby muttered down to him, arm still around his shoulders, Milo wondered at the contact. Was this thing normal between two friends? It had been so long since he'd last (suffered) had any human contact that was genuinely friendly (cold hands, sharp hands, pushing, shoving-) and he was struggling working out the different types of contact (hadn't been a problem before).
Milo sighed out through his nose. "She's got nothing to be jealous about," he tried for, his voice liquid. In all honesty, he didn't quite get what was going on, but he thought this was something that a celebrity should understand. He didn't want to lessen his image by appearing oblivious.
"Mm. If you say so," the words were tinged with a lavender laugh, teasing and knowing. The arm dropped from off his shoulders and Alex (Milo) could finally relax with the weight fully gone.
"I do," he said mock seriously.
Milo was sure Toby was grinning down at him. "Now come on, Beth's telling us that she can go,"
As Milo was certain he couldn't hear anything, he guessed that she was gesturing them over, and so made to smoothly follow Toby as he began moving towards where Beth must have been standing.
X-x-x-x-x-x
"Catch, Milo!"
Ben flinched as the ball struck Alex in the side of his head. Watching with a grimace and the sound of K-Unit's muttered sympathy, he watched from a point further away in Toby's large garden at Alex rubbing at the sore spot with a grimace, waiting as Toby's running feet approached him, and the older boy leaned down to pick up the ball.
"You're meant to catch the ball, Milo," Ben heard Toby chide, throwing the ball up and down and catching it, watching Alex with a half smile on his face, eyes teasing as he tossed the ball casually up and down.
Ben managed to catch Alex's response too, and noticed the others doing the same. "I would've," he muttered, still gingerly rubbing the side of his head. "But try not to aim for my head next time,"
"Are you OK, Milo?" Beth had jogged up to them too and her hand touched his shoulder, her fingers light and feathery.
"Just suffering a mild concussion," he smiled back. "Nothing too serious. A bit of bleeding in the brain,"
Toby snorted. "Baby,"
"Let's do something else," Beth sounded worried. "That's the fourth time Milo's missed the ball,"
Alex laughed. "Thanks for keeping count, Beth,"
Ben had to agree with a light snort, catching Raccoon's eye who shrugged and went back to gnawing at his apple. Arriving at Toby's house, Ben doing what he thought (modesty. Such modesty) was a great act of being a fussy manager who refused to let the "cheeky" Milo out of his sights lest he didn't keep a stern eye on the time, he'd managed to squeeze his way into following them to the house, and had been watching Alex, Toby and Beth play what looked like quite a haphazard game of football.
Haphazard, because quite painfully, Alex was abysmal at it.
He ran in the wrong direction of the ball half the time, looking like he had no idea what he was doing, had kicked too hard and missed when he'd finally managed to get the ball, and whenever someone tried to throw it to him if it was a corner or free kick, he'd reached up confidently to snatch the ball from the air-
-only to have it slam into his face.
Or stomach.
Or chest.
Or face.
Ben narrowed his eyes at Alex's appalling play, and was glad that Beth seemed to have managed to win Toby over and persuaded him to drop the poor game of football and instead play something a little safer- like chess. Chess was always safe.
It was odd, though, Ben had to reason, as he watched Toby drop the ball and Alex gently toe it and begin maneuvering it in a complex pattern around his Toby's legs, darting off with the ball and Toby unable to get it off of him. When he actualy had the ball, Alex seemed to be unstoppable, twisting and swerving and darting in and out. It was only when he was chasing the ball that his game suddenly shattered and he looked a complete mess.
"Good job the magazines didn't say anything about his football talent," Eagle muttered across to Snake, the latter raising one eyebrow.
"How much have you been reading those magazines, Eagle?" Snake accused, his voice full of wicked teasing.
Eagle glowered back at Snake, looking put out. "They're for reference to our mission!" he defended himself, straightening up as he saw the rest of K-Unit move in with shadowed eagerness for a session of Tease Eagle.
Ben tuned them out and instead turned to see Toby finally admitting defeat to Alex who seemed to be telling Toby to bow to him.
A small smile twisted on his lips as Toby knelt to the ground and pressed his palms against the grass. He must've said something funny because the next second Alex's clear laughter filled the powder air, ringing through it like a handful of rattling stars.
Ben's smile grew at the sound of it- weightless, unbelted and pure.
A complete difference to the job they had to carry out.
"He seems to be doing well," Raccoon muttered next to him, his hands shoved in his pocket and apple core tossed into a bin beside them.
Ben gazed at Raccoon who was watching Alex, his brow lightly drawn and obviously trying to work the kid out.
Good luck with that, he thought dryly, turning back to gaze at Alex. He himself hadn't even worked Alex out yet.
Alex, with his melting personalities and secrets that crowded his -
-eyes.
Ben paused.
Alex, from the distance, turned to gesture towards them, calling them into the house.
Eyes...
Ben felt a chilling emotion pass through him. What was it for? Why had he-?
"Come on, George," Raccoon nudged him in the side.
And the thought process was broken.
Pushed aside.
X-x-x-x-x-x
"See you tomorrow, then!" George grinned, clapping Milo on the shoulder who smiled back at him, all rolling gold and blushing mouth.
"Of course," Milo said, turning to face Beth who would be leaving a little later. "And I'll see you tomorrow too, Beth,"
Beth smiled at him charmingly, dimples nudging her cheeks as she reached out and hugged Milo, lingering perhaps a little longer than necessary against his neck and shoulders. "You've got my number,"
Milo nodded as she pulled away, and tapped his pocket with a tiny lift of one eyebrow. "Right here," he reassured. "Tucked away and safe," raising one arm, he broke away from the door and waved. "See you tomorrow,"
"See you tomorrow," they called back, Beth leaning against the doorframe almost wistfully and Toby with one hand against it as he waved them off.
In the car, Wolf waited until everyone had their seatbelt on securely until he started the engine.
"Had fun, Milo?" Eagle asked cheerily as Alex settled in beside him.
"Yeah," he said, eyes on the window.
"Any bruises?" Eagle probed innocently, though his eyes were sparkling, Ben noticed.
Alex finally broke away from the window at that, frowning in gentle bemusement fitting of his persona. "Sorry?"
"From all the times you got hit in the face with a ball," Eagle was fully grinning now, practically biting back mirth.
Ben watched with a quiet sigh as Alex's smile strained, his posture going slightly taut.
"Yeah, what was happening out there?" Wolf added in a rough voice, a slight mocking edge (that he had been using on Eagle only short moments ago) in his voice, eyes flickering up to the rearview mirror to glance at Alex, the slight, visibe crease of his eyes belying the fact that his lips were stretched into a wolfish smile. "That was some bad play, Milo,"
Raising an eyebrow at the sudden tightness of Alex's expression, Ben shared a subtle glance with Eagle who mouthed: "touchy" to him.
Luckily, Alex didn't seem to notice Eagle's less than discreet mouthing even though both Fox and Snake elbowed him roughly in the ribs. "I'll have you know," he said a little woodenly, forced metal balloons lifting his voice to a pushed joviality. "I was promoted to the captain on my school football team,"
There was a pause in conversation.
(Obviously) Eagle had to go and break it.
"Were you the only player?" and then he burst into too much laughter than was necessary for his joke, bending over and near hooting into his knees.
Snake gripped the back of his shirt and hauled the lanky man up, managing to keep a straight face even though the other members in the car were laughing and his own mouth was sliding into a smile. "It's bad etiquette to laugh so hard at your own jokes,"
Eagle, settling slightly, wiped a tear from his eye and let out a content sigh. "I've been waiting too long to use that line," he grinned back at Snake who rolled his eyes at him. "I can finally die in peace," and then pretended to fake die.
"Great," dryly, Ben left Eagle to his own devices and instead once again fixed his attention on Alex, finding it was quickly becoming a habit to find his concentration straying towards the enigmatic teenager whose facial expressions were usually so hard to work out.
It wasn't hard to work out now, though.
He looked completely irritated and badly hiding it, his brow flickering up and down as if it was being yanked by silver puppet wires, his lips flat and tight against his face- a harsh swipe of pink and eyes boring into the back of the seat in front of him.
Ben blinked and then leaned forward to brush his hand against the teenager's shoulder to capture his attention. The kid didn't seem like someone who was someone easy to rile up. Why, even in the minibus journey to their new location, he had brushed past their questions with all of the ease and smoothness of someone who had tonnes of patience piled up inside them. But now...it looked like such a small teasing statement had completely gotten under his skin. "Milo," he tried, even as his hand on Alex's shoulder didn't seem to want to urge the boy to look at him. "Are you OK?" he kept his voice low, not wanting to drag K-Unit's attention back to their steaming "celebrity".
Alex's jaw, if anything, tightened a degree at his words, fingers curling and clenching into his knees. "I'm fine," he bit out- the worst lie if ever to leave Alex's mouth. Luckily, Alex seemed to realise that, and looked to relent a miniscule amount, the rigidity in his jaw loosening if only a little, his fingers relaxing slightly against their harsh position against his knees. "It's nothing," he grumbled, kicking at the chair in front of him and earning a growl from Wolf as it jarred his back. "Nothing,"
Ben wasn't convinced. If anything, the sound of the words seemed to be more like Alex was trying to convince himself than Ben, an odd contemplative look in his aqua eyes, mingled with that same shredded anger that stirred like loose coals within their depths- though the () of the emotion wasn't entirely clear to Ben, who was seeing such a heated emotion in the usually unshakable Alex's face for the first time.
From the look on Alex's face, pursuing the matter would definitely not be of any use, his expression was mulish and closed off; any probing from his part would no doubt lead to a cold spearing of his words or a fast but brutal murder of the conversation.
And so, the rest of the journey's noise was carried only by K-Unit and Ben who tried vainly to get Alex to join in on their conversation but was met with only a blank gaze or a blunt and obviously disinterested reply.
X-x-x-x-x-x
He wasn't sulking.
Alex Rider did not sulk.
(You're sulking)
He was not sulking!
He was just...annoyed.
Once again, his fingers dug into his knees and his jaw clenched, blind eyes glaring into the back of the car seat that he knew would be somewhere in front of him.
He had- had a reason to feel this way though! It was that- that it wasn't- he wasn't-
-Alex took a deep breath, struggling through the windy and bitter emotions that sometimes became so prominent in his chest- sometimes they randomly appeared, or sometimes they were triggered by stupid, small, little things; people remarking on a movie they'd seen and asking: "Alex, have you seen it?", a small old lady asking him in the street: "Dear, can you grab that for me? It slipped out of my hand..." or stupid, ignorant (more blind them him) army members who teased him about his inability to play a good game of football.
He was great at playing football.
He was.
He- he could run across the pitch like a shot of light, weaving in and out of players, sweat dripping into his eyes as he shouted out orders to his team members, the strong smell of mud upon grass upon boys rushing through his nostrils, air whipping through his hair, eyes darting from side to side as he watched the players and which way they were going to-
-wincing, Alex loosened his grip on his legs, feeling the sting of cuts under the fabric of his jeans and knowing, just knowing that he'd scraped up his legs in the desperation of his grip.
But today...
...that had been only the second time he'd played football.
The first had been- had been when he'd lost- when he'd lost his sight.
(lost)
Stood in the impenetrable darkness what he knew to be the field a little way from his house, not knowing what time it was; not caring, only caring about the feel of the football as he clutched it to his side, the sound of his breathing panting into the blackness, air drifting teasingly through his hair, rubbing mocking fingers against his scalp and whispering how does it feel to be invisible, to live invisible?
And then there had been the thud of the ball as he let it drop from his fingers- louder than it usually was- his feet scuffing against the grass, a slight pull back of his right foot, tense of muscle, release and then kick.
He had hit the ball.
Only barely.
Blindly heard it skid away from him; the dull thump screaming how it was off centre, off point! Just like your life!
A slight gasp of air from his lungs, hesitant footsteps forward, gaining confidence, looking for the ball. Looking, looking for the ball that was a damn inanimate object so of course he wouldn't be able to hear it but looking all the same, looking with eyes that couldn't see and feet that weren't quite steady- that stumbled before they fell, lost confidence before they hit the ground (was the ground there? Or was it higher?).
Playing on his own had been ridiculous.
So playing with other people would obviously be worse.
But he missed it.
He missed the rush of adrenalin as he raced towards the goal, stared wolfishly into the readying goalkeepers eyes. And on the pitch he was a warrior! A champion! Racing towards his destination with the roar of the crowd in his ears, the sun spiralling off of the sides of the goalposts and into his-
Alex forcibly relaxed his grip.
He glowered at the car seat, though the glower felt weak and almost nauseating to give.
Football was a dumb sport anyway.
A dumb sport.
Who needed it?
"Home sweet home," Raccoon's mutter breaking through Alex's thoughts as the engine stopped.
Quickly, he reached down for his seatbelt and undid it, reaching out for the car door and pushing it open.
Inside the house, he didn't feel much better from his mood, which was worsened as Snake clapped a hand on his back and said in a mingled apologetic and unarguable tone: "Dinner duty, Cub."
And Cub was the magic word. It was OK to drop out of their roles.
"I thought I had to practice the script reading for tomorrow," he said dryly, turning to 'look' up at Snake with a small lowering of his eyebrows.
"You're right, you do," Ben said from somewhere behind him. "But first, dinner sounds nice, doesn't it?"
"Right," Alex muttered. Yeah. Right. It was pretty obvious that they wanted him firmly out of the way whilst they discussed the events of their first day out in their roles, most likely only unconsciously treating him like a child rather than a fully competent spy; probably compltely by accident. "Dinner duty whilst the big boys talk about today's events?" he said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
There was a pause in which Alex knew he'd hit the right answer exactly, and snorted lightly to himself.
And then: "Don't back-chat, Cub. Dinner duty," Snake's hand propelled him with firm forcibleness that bespoke that "no" would not work as any kind of acceptable answer.
The air cooled as he was pushed into the kitchen, and finally, the hand dropped from his back, and he heard the sound of Snake moving around the kitchen, something rattling and something else clanging. Alex winced at the sharpness of the sounds.
"Well? Don't just stand there, grab a pepper from the fridge," Snake called, his voice confusing over the clanging- not quite loud enough, the sounds ringing in his ears.
"Right," Alex muttered, moving towards where he thought the fridge might be, and stretching out one hand to brush it against the humming plastic, glad that that morning he had gotten up and had a look round the kitchen beforehand. Gently and quickly, he slid his hands around the expanse of the fridge, looking for the handle.
His hand slid under the handle that was at the bottom and carefully, he tugged it open, shielding his movements with his back as he reached clumsily around the inside of the fridge, being light with his movements lest he knock something over.
Gritting his teeth, he grimaced as his hand dipped into something slimy and gloopy, biting back a hiss.
"Take your time, Cub,"
Alex jumped at the sound of Snake's voice right by his ear, slamming his head into the top of the fridge and unable to bite back a yelp as something fell and splattered over the top of his head, the splat! of it hitting the floor too.
There was a brief, uncomfortable silence in which Alex only stared blindly at the floor, his head wet and a slow drip drip seeming to echo through his ears.
He had the most nonsensical desire to give in to tears.
"Well," Snake drew out the word as Alex finally found it in himself to straighten up, the slimy substance sliding down his neck in cold and slippery slowness. Alex felt some of it drip onto his nose. "I suppose that's one way to get out of kitchen duty." his voice was light and careful- he must've noticed something in the way Alex stood, still and quiet that it wouldn't be the best idea to laugh at him.
Alex didn't reply, even when the substance dribbled from the tip of his nose and landed on his mouth. Again, there was that stupid want to sit down and cry.
"Want to go and clean up?" there was a hand fluttering near his shoulder.
You can't do anything...something sang, lowly and delighted. You can't do anything right!
"No," he said, low and rough. "I can keep cooking."
Another pause, light breathing. "No offense, Cub. But you've got egg all over yourself, and I don't fancy having to clean-"
"I can keep cooking." he broke in forcefully, taking a harsh step backwards and almost slipping on some of the mess.
Another pause and Alex used the time to move towards the work surface, reaching out his hand to find out where the-
"The stove's on!" Snake was beside him again, grabbing his wrist and pulling it away. "Are you trying to set your hand on fire?" he sounded panicked and angry even as Alex wrenched his hand away and dropped it onto the actual work surface and not stove. "Have you got egg in your eyes, or something?"
"As a matter of fact," he bit back, sliding his hand around the work surface with almost violent movements. "I do,"
Snake's voice was increasing in impatience. "Well why on earth do you feel the need to keep- that's a knife!"
Too late.
With a silent hiss, Alex dropped what he had grabbed, already feeling a streak of fire shooting across his palm followed by the tingling rush that signified he was bleeding.
Snake grabbed up his wrist again and pulled him back. "Not over the food," he snapped. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Alex stumbled as he was pulled, and had to force himself not to push out his uninjured hand in a vain attempt to find out where he was going.
"Snake?" Wolf's voice was muffled as Alex was marched along.
"Dinner duty's swapped," Snake called back, Alex only receiving a tiny warning in the sudden tilt of his hand that they were going upstairs. Hastily, he scrambled to follow Snake's footsteps, his wrist still locked in an unbreakable hold. "We'll do it tomorrow,"
There came a sound of grumbling and suddenly, Alex was off of the stairs again.
Wheezing, he attempted to find his balance, his head spinning as he heard a door clicking open, and cool air on his face.
"Sit. You're dripping blood everywhere,"
Clumsily, Alex sat, almost slamming his head on the wall behind him.
"Have you eaten something funny, or something?" Alex heard over the sound of quiet rattling.
"No," he breathed, making to wipe his blood slicked palm against his jeans.
"Don't even bother," Snake's sharp voice stopped him.
Alex hovered his hand, uncertain as to where exactly Snake was.
But then his hand was being gripped again and something soft and cold being rubbed over it, his fingers instinctively curling as pressure was put on his newly acquired wound.
"Keep your hand still," the cleaning continued, and Alex smelt the smell of disinfectant as the cool cloth swiped against his palm. "It's not too bad," Snake muttered, dabbing now. "Just bleeds a lot,"
Alex didn't know quite how to reply to that, and was glad when from the quiet that came after the statement, it seemed like Snake didn't feel there was any such need to reply.
"Are you just naturally clumsy or was it something that happened today?" by the tone of his voice, as Alex could tell that Snake was genuinely concerned and not poking fun at him. "Well?"
This time, not saying anything wasn't an availability. Instead, he focussed his blind eyes on his knees and hefted his shoulders up into a tiny shrug. "The day?" it was posed more of a question that an answer, and if the small tightening of the grip around Alex's hand was to go by anything, it was a satisfactory one either. "I mean," he hastened to furnish his reply. "It's been a long day. I wasn't thinking properly."
"Cub," he was winding bandages around his hand now, the material soft and fluffy against his palm. "You've only been out for roughly four hours."
"I know," he defended himself, uncertain as to why he was getting so heated up over some defense that wasn't even true. "But it was a lot to take in and work with." he frowned at his knees that he couldn't (would never be able to) see. "You know?"
A pause (thoughtful?), and then the wrapping of bandages slowed. "No," Snake's voice was slow. "I don't know."
"Oh." Alex answered a little dumbly back, uncertainly.
"Yeah, oh." the pause that followed that statement wasn't comforting in the least, and, feeling self conscious, Alex kept his eyes lowered and away from Snake.
"Cub,"
Alex twitched at the voice.
The wrapping of bandages had stopped now, but still, neither of them moved. A rustling of clothing and click of something. "This might sound weird, but can you by any chance- do you...are you-"
Alex's breath hitched. Don't say it...don't say it...
"Do you need glasses?"
Blankly, Alex stared at his knees. His breathing stopped.
Glasses?
...did he need...
...glasses?
A bubble of distorted laughter burst in his chest and left through his mouth.
Glasses.
"Maybe I do," he managed to get out, smothering his laughter that felt oddly detached from his body. "Yeah. Maybe I need glasses." some of the strongest lenses around.
Glasses.
"Alright," Snake grumbled. "No need to laugh so much."
Gaining control of himself, Alex grinned. "Sorry," he laughed, stretching out his clamping back muscles. "As I said before; it's been a long day."
"Sure, Cub, whatever you say..."
"Dinner, everyone! The dinner Cub and Snake should have made!"
The call was a blessed relief from Snake's scrutiny, and Alex stood up sharply.
One day further from suspicion.
"There's no way you're eating with egg in your hair,"
Right.
He trailed a hand up to his hair and felt the already congealing mess. "I'll get sorted out."
From the sound of Snake's decreasing in volume voice, it sounded like he was leaving the bathroom. "And don't get your bandage wet!"
"No." Alex managed a smile even as the door clicked shut behind him.
With Snake gone, he closed his eyes and let his body sag.
He'd underestimated how hard it would be to hide his blindness. No- not hide it- pretend he didn't have it. And the worst thing...the worst thing was was that he'd started to trick himself into believing that he didn't have it. He'd started to almost decieve himself into believing that he wasn't blind when he was. Lightly, he thumped a fist against the bathroom wall. "Stupid," he murmured, the sound the only thing that existed.
Stupid.
AN- ): ): ):
Sometimes...you know that you should just post something. And I did. I don't like it. Don't worry, guys, I don't expect you to like it either. It's just...there. So...sorry! The next one will be better...hopefully...sigh...
NEXT CHAPTER! Who said just because Alex was blind he couldn't fight?