"What do we do now?"

After several moments of silence, it was Sam who spoke up first.

Dean turned to face his little brother. A look of dejection and exhaustion was written all over Sam's face, his shoulders slumped and his eyes sad.

Dean couldn't handle seeing him that way. He had seen Sam look that same exact way when Dean was keeping watch on him after coming back from Hell. He could hardly stand it then and now...

Well Dean wasn't sure. He felt different than he had back then. Sure, back then seeing Sam so sad made Dean upset, but he had figured Sam would get over it in his own time. Now, Dean felt that seeing an upset baby brother was affecting him more…he had to say something; he had to make Sam not worry.

What was going on with him? Why was Dean himself starting to feel...to feel sad just by seeing Sam upset? Was this supposed to happen?

The feelings and emotions he was experiencing were just too confusing to think about. While they scared him, Dean figured there was nothing he could do about them except let them happen.

"I'll tell you what we do," Dean spoke up. "We continue to make sure you're ready and once Crowley hunts Lilith down, we go after the bitch. Now we don't have angels to worry about, so this actually helps us."

"But Cas…he was helping us. He was our friend and now he's just gone. We didn't even get to try and talk him out of it."

"Sam...," Bobby started. "I didn't know that...that angel but by the tone of his voice, he made the decision to sacrifice himself a long time ago. I don't think anything would have changed his mind."

At the sound of Bobby's voice, Dean remembered how their friend had stepped in front of him, had challenged these damn angels, all to protect him. The guy used to not be able to even look at Dean and now he was risking his life to save him.

To save a damned demon. What the hell was up with that? Dean now knew that Sam would be there for him no matter what, but Bobby? He never expected to gain back the older man's devotion, ever. Why was he worth saving in Bobby's eyes? How could Bobby even care about him when his wife was killed by a demon? And not only Bobby but the angel as well, the angel who had wanted to kill him. How was he worth saving and protecting, a broken demon, in an angel's eyes?

"Uhh...Bobby," Dean found himself speaking.

"Yeah boy?"

"Umm...thanks." Why the hell did he say that? He didn't need to thank anyone!

Bobby's face softened as he obviously understood what Dean was talking about. "Of course, son. Of course."

Okay, this was now getting weird and uncomfortable so Dean stalked off towards the fridge, avoiding the two devil's traps on his way, and pulled out three beers.

Walking back into the living room, Dean handed his brother and Bobby one of the beverages. They sat in silence for a while before Dean sensed that his Sam wanted to talk to him. Looking up, he saw him staring at him curiously, like he wanted to ask a question. Bobby must have noticed this too because he stood up and stretched.

"Well, I'm gonna go sit on the porch for a little bit, then go check out a car I need to work on. You boys know where to find me if you need anything." Bobby smiled at them both before stepping over the salt line and out the front door.

"Dean," Sam immediately said as soon as Bobby was gone.

"What, bitch?"

The younger brother crinkled his face in disgust of the familiar nickname. "Stop being such a jerk."

"That's what you wanted to tell me? Alright then." Dean rolled his eyes and took a sip of his beer, wishing that he could feel the alcohol; damn he missed getting that buzz.

"No! Gosh. I was going to say, it was nice of you to thank Bobby."

Oh great, Sam had taken notice of that. Of course he did. Now they were going to have to "talk about it and share their feelings". Exactly the things Dean hated.

"Yeah, so?"

"So it was nice of you." Sam smiled.

"What? You're saying you expect me to always be mean? I can do that."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Can you be serious for just two minutes? Please? I've just noticed that you've been doing things that you wouldn't have done back when we met up again. You seem more human."

As soon as that word left Sam's mouth, Dean's eyes clouded over in anger. So this was what this was all about? Sam had some delusions that he was becoming human-like or whatever? Dean thought Sam was over this phase of wishing his brother was his old self. Now Sam was getting his hopes up that Dean was changing back or whatever shit was going through his mind and it pissed the older brother off.

He was a demon; he wasn't going to change back. He had thought Sam had understood and accepted that. He wasn't human anymore and was never going to be.

"If you think you're going to wake up one day and get that human brother back that you so desperately want, think again Sam," Dean spat angrily and ignored the look of confusion and hurt that seeped onto Sam's face.

"Dean, what..."

Dean glared at his brother. "I thought you were past this shit. I'm a demon Sam, I'm always going to be and you want that to change and it's not going to happen. I know you hate how I am now and you miss who I used to be but that guy is dead. So if you keep having this false hope..."

"Wait a damn minute!"

Dean was shocked at his brother's strong words as Sam stood up and grabbed at his sleeve to stop him. Dean realized just then that he had been pacing back and forth, huh.

"Haven't you realized long ago that I'm more than fine with how you are?" Sam continued. "Dean, you're my damn brother. That's all that matters. Human was the wrong word to use, I see that now and I'm sorry."

Something about the tone of Sam's voice and the look on his face made Dean want to believe him. He found himself calming down as he spoke but kept his eyes narrowed. "What did you mean then?"

"I meant that you seem more relaxed, more open and you're not pushing people away as much. I'm just happy that you can do that. I mean, even if you couldn't, I wouldn't mind at all. But the fact that you are changing a bit, it just shows me how strong you are."

"But I'm not changing into a human."

"I know, I know. That wasn't what I was trying to get across. Dean, honestly I don't see a demon when I look at you, I don't think about demons or humans and the difference between the new and old you anymore. I just see my brother. It's been like that for months now."

Sam walked over to the couch now that he seemed sure Dean would stop his pacing and sat down before continuing. "But I'm proud you're letting Bobby in and that you feel now like you can talk to me about how you feel. I was so glad you opened up to me in the car the other day about Hell and how you try to forget about it. It just gives me a much better understanding and I'm happy that you feel like you can trust me with that information." Sam smiled at Dean. "You had to have realized some differences in your behavior and feelings over the past months."

Dean scrunched his face up, feeling uncomfortable. He rubbed his aching arm in distraction, which Sam still insisted he have in the sling. "Yeah maybe. So what? They're confusing and half the time I don't even know what they mean."

"I bet they are confusing for you. But they're not bad. Just don't try and push them away, I know they are probably scary for you..."

"I'm not scared of stupid emotions! What the hell!" Dean outright lied and he could tell Sam didn't buy it, but his brother didn't seem upset, instead he laughed.

"Oh that's right, a big bad demon like you isn't allowed to be scared of anything."

"That's right."

Sam just smirked and rolled his eyes and like that, they ended the conversation. Dean felt a bit lighter, although he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because he realized that Sam wasn't longing for his human brother back, that he wanted him around just as he was.

Dean found himself feeling awkward standing up while Sam was back on the couch, so he sat down next to his brother and grabbed his beer bottle once more.

"Anyway..." Sam broke the silence. "Why would I want you to be human again? I mean, I get a big brother with awesome demon powers."

Dean almost laughed, nearly spilling beer out of his mouth. He swallowed and then grinned. "Yeah, and I saved your ass countless times with those powers."

"I know. And you also annoy the hell out of me with them too. But I guess I can live with it."

"Oh, you mean like this?" Dean lifted his hand and laughed at how Sam braced himself automatically for whatever was to come. Dean glanced around, looking for something that would startle his brother but not cause him any harm. He eyed in on a notebook sitting on Bobby's desk and quickly tilted his arm. The notebook flew through the air quickly and smacked Sam right in the face, causing him to yelp.

"Dean!"

"Still like having a brother with demon powers?"

Sam glared and Dean and grabbed the notebook, standing up to put it back on Bobby's desk.

"Sit down, remember...powers? I can just place it back on the desk without leaving this couch."

"Sounds like your version of paradise," Sam mumbled as he plopped back down. He watched as his brother made the notebook float back onto their friend's desk.

"Since you wouldn't shut up talking about me and my feelings," Dean rolled his black eyes as he said so and Sam huffed in response. "I never got to ask you about how you took down Samhain."

"What about it?"

"Well, how was it, stupid? I was busy kicking demon ass so I didn't really see how you did it. Was it easy for you? Did you have any trouble?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders. "He was tougher than all the rest, of course but...I don't know I just feel so much stronger. So once I really got a hold of his soul, it was pretty much smooth sailing from there. The creepiest thing was how he just stared at me. He didn't say a word."

"You're used to demons not shutting their mouth and screaming insults at you, am I right?" Dean smirked.

"Exactly, including you." Sam let out a short laugh. "What was up with that anyway?"

Now it was Dean's turn to shrug. "I've got no idea. Maybe he thinks it's more effective to be silent and creepy, it worked didn't it? Or maybe he's just so boring and has nothing to say."

That caused Sam to really chuckle and Dean was impressed by his ability to get his little brother to relax and laugh. He was an awesome big brother.

And that thought had Dean see something different in him for the first time since he became a demon. Maybe he was worth something more than a damned and damaged hell-spawn. If he could still be a great older brother, hell, if Bobby could still care about him and an angel wanted to save his life...maybe there was more to him that deserved to live.

"Go. Have fun," Dean ordered his brother as soon as they stepped into the bar.

"But Dean...it's been years since we went to a bar to just have fun. We've always been on a case and trying to research..."

"No, you were the one who decided not to have fun. It is possible work and play. I always did, you sat in a booth like a grouchy college boy and refused any girl that asked you to dance."

Sam shook his head. "But you can't even get drunk anymore."

"Yeah I know that, obviously. But today is your birthday not mine. We're not leaving until you're drunk out of you mind, making out with girls and dancing on tables, got it?"

They were standing near the bar and Dean ordered a few rather strange colored shots for Sam and a beer for himself.

"What the hell are those?" Sam narrowed his eyes at the shots.

"Purple Nurples," Dean replied with a wicked glint in his eyes.

"Purple what?"

"They're good trust me. Now drink, bitch."

Sam sighed, he wasn't one to get wasted out of his mind, but Dean had taken him here to have fun. Even though Dean would probably be bored to death, he had gone out of his way to think of something where Sam could relax and have a good time.

Crowley was closing in on Lilith who seemed to be waiting for them and not moving around, he had her within a hundred mile radius. Any day now they would have to go into battle.

So what the hell? Why not have fun and get trashed?

Sam grabbed the Purple Nurple and chugged it down, tipping his head back and letting he liquid burn his throat.

Dean chuckled as he ordered more alcohol for Sam; his little brother was finally loosening up and enjoying himself. He had told the bartender that it was his brother's birthday so most of the drinks were free or discounted. Didn't matter. He wasn't going to pay them anyway.

Dean left Sam to go have fun and walked over to a table where he could still keep a close eye on Sam in case anything went wrong.

Sitting back in his chair, Dean watched how a wide-eyed blonde girl approached his brother, offering to pay for a drink for him.

Haha, no girl could resist his puppy-eyed drunk brother on his birthday.

Dean was brought out of his musings when he heard a woman's voice from next to him.

"Not much of a drinker, Shortbus?"

Dean turned and glared at the source of the sarcastic voice that had appeared out of thin air in the chair next to him.

"Ruby," Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Crowley told me he's getting really close. He would have forced me to meet up with you two soon enough so I decided to just come on my own." She turned to look at Sam who now had the blonde in his lap. "Woah, never saw him as the type."

"He's not. It's his birthday and I took him out to get trashed."

"Awww how cute, what a great big brother you are." Ruby reached over and pinched Dean's cheeks.

Dean angrily slapped at her hands. "Don't touch me, bitch."

"You weren't saying that a few months ago." Ruby winked, scooting closer.

"Get away, I'm not in the mood." Dean narrowed his eyes at her. He would much rather make out with a drunk chick than Ruby right now. Why settle for her when he had the pick of the bar?

Ruby scowled and stomped out of her chair. A man nearly as tall as Sam winked at her from across the room and she smirked at Dean.

"He's much better looking than you anyway," she spat before turning and walking toward the man.

Dean chuckled. "You keep telling yourself that," he called after her. Turning back to the bar, Dean saw Sam take another shot before he clumsily hopped off his stool and then stumbled towards Dean, laughing with the blonde in hand.

Nice, Sam already looked trashed and had that big goofy grin on his face that meant he was about to make a huge fool out of himself. Dean couldn't wait.

"Dean!" Sam yelled, waving his free arm in a dramatic gesture over his head.

"You're directly in front of me and six foot four. There's no need to scream and wave Sammy, I think I can see and hear you." Dean tried to hold back his laugh and the girl giggled in response, not as drunk as Sam.

Sam just grinned, not seeming to understand that Dean just insulted him. Or if he did realize, he simply didn't care. The younger brother let go of the girl and walked over to Dean, grabbing his arm and pulling him up. Actually Sam was subconsciously using his powers to lift Dean as well. He must be pretty strong if he still had control over them, even when horribly drunk. Dean guessed Sam hardly had to think about them anymore when he used his powers, they just came to him.

Once Dean was standing, Sam wrapped his left arm around Dean's shoulders in a side hug, squeezing tightly and grinning like a lunatic.

"See this guy?" he asked the blonde.

"Obviously she can Sammy, she doesn't look blind to me."

Sam ignored him. "This guy right here is my big brother. He's just the best and I love him!"

Oh god, what a drunk moron.

The girl clasped her hands to her chest and cooed. "Aww how cute!"

"Cute my ass." Dean wanted to throw up.

"Dean always took care of me; he's the greatest big brother ever! He even changed my diapers when I was a baby!" Sam slurred and smiled brightly at Dean.

Okay that was enough; Dean pushed his brother off of him. "Telling her about shitty diapers isn't going to win her over Sam." Dean turned to the girl and forced a smile. "Excuse him. He's new to the bar scene. Don't let this turn you off."

"What do you mean? He loves his brother, a guy that is close to his family...I think that's hot!"

Dean raised an eyebrow. Apparently the girl was further gone that he first expected. Or Dean wasn't used to being sober and seeing everyone else drunk around him. "Alright, whatever floats your boat, I guess."

"Aww don't be a party pooper! Have some fun!" The girl nearly screeched, geeze, did drunk people always have a hard time controlling the tone of their voice?

Heh, that was the first time Dean was ever told that.

But now...oh just great...Sam was looking at him with that sad puppy dog frown. "Yeah Dean, come on! Do some shots with us!"

Yeah shots that would have no affect on him whatsoever. "Nah, I'm good Sammy."

"Come on! Pleeeeeeease?" Sam drew out the word and it was enough to get Dean to laugh. "Heather's cousin is there too! She'd like you! Come on!"

Dean realized that Sam had never cared to introduce the girl when he had come over, heh. So she was Heather and Heather had a cousin.

Alright then, Dean would do some pointless shots. Hopefully she was hot.

Dean was broken out of his make out session with...Kristen? Krystal? when loud cheering and clapping began. Unable to hold back his curiosity, not matter how hot this chick was, Dean broke the kiss and ignored the pout that formed on her lips.

Turning towards the source of the noise, Dean's jaw dropped and he couldn't help the laughter that fell from his mouth.

People were gathered around the bar, cheering while...while Sammy and the blonde chick danced. Holy shit, Sam was actually dancing. He swung the small girl in his arms and Dean seriously thought he would drop her flat on her face.

He didn't though. The girl watched onto him, legs wrapped around his chest and arms tangled in his hair as they began to make out.

Heh heh heh. There's my boy.

But Dean's joy at the situation was cut short. Suddenly, a stocky man, a little bit shorter than Dean with buzzed hair, ran up to the bar and grabbed at Sam's shirt sleeve.

The girl fell off of him and landed on her ass, drinks spilling from the counter. Sam was tugged off the bar, falling on the ground in a graceless, drunken heap.

Seeing red, Dean pushed his way through the crowd, using both his hands and powers to shove people out of the way, the hot chick long forgotten.

The man grabbed Sam and hoisted the younger Winchester to his feet.

Dean thought quickly. Sam was swaying on his feet, looking sick to his stomach but suddenly a lot more sober. Still, Sam was wasted and nowhere near on the top of his game. This guy would take him down, and fast.

Dean could do one of a few things.

1. He could sit back and hope Sam could somehow win.

Nope, never gonna happen. He would never risk Sam's safety.

2. He could snap the guy's neck.

That wouldn't work for a variety of reasons. He didn't want to turn into a crazy killer demon. Yeah, it would just be one kill but Sammy wouldn't like it. Plus this guy wasn't any real threat. Dean wasn't going to kill unless necessary.

3. He could fight the guy for Sam.

That would make his brother look like a wuss though.

4. He could assist with his awesome demon powers and no one would know.

Perfect.

The man threatening Sam growled as he grabbed the younger brother's shirt in his hand. "That was my girl!"

Sam laughed drunkenly. "Not anymore, she told me she hates you! She broke up with you and you can't take it!"

Now the bar was chanting "fight" over and over again. Just great. The man snarled and raised his fist, and Dean thought it was the right time to put his plan into action.

Without even lifting a hand, he was able to keep the man's arm suspended in midair. The man began to panic, trying like hell to move his arm at all.

Dean began to snicker and Sam's unfocused eyes found his. Slowly, realization dawned on his features and a smirk spread over his face.

Dean winked in response and gave him a look that he hoped read 'what the hell are you waiting for?'

Sam didn't waste any more time as he landed a few decent, yet clumsy, punches to the guy's stomach. Dean released his powers as the man tumbled over in pain, the younger brother landing an extra kick to his side.

A bartender rushed over and Sam paled, Dean stepped over to his side, ready to defend him.

"I'm sorry, I...," Sam began to stutter.

"No man, I saw the whole thing. This guy was kicked out a month ago; he's banned from this place from starting shit all the time. Way to go."

Everyone started cheering for Sam and the blonde girl gave him a huge kiss. The bartender hauled the ex-boyfriend out of the bar, chuckling as he did so.

Dean expected Sam to go back to the blonde who was looking at him like he was her knight in shining armor, but instead he stumbled over to Dean and gave him the tightest most uncomfortable hug EVER. Dean patted him on the back, trying to get the freak to let go because he reeked of sweat and spilled alcohol. Gosh.

"Dean, you were awesome, that was so cool." Sam suddenly broke out of the hug and turned to the girl. "See? Didn't I tell you he was the greatest?"

The girl gave Sam a confused glance and Dean immediately grabbed Sam's shoulder and dragged him away. "Sammy, you're piss-ass drunk. I think it's time to go."

"But...what...what'd I do?"

"I used my demon powers to stop that guy, the girl doesn't know that," Dean explained slowly like he was talking to a first grader. "You're telling her how awesome I was back there but she doesn't think I helped, but that you did it all on your own. She probably thinks you're a lunatic now."

It didn't look like Sam heard a word Dean said. "Heh! You said piss-ass. Piss! Ass! Hah!" Sam laughed, referring to Dean's earlier conversation. Sam spun around, looking dizzy as hell and his eyes settled on Ruby. "Hey, it's Ruby. Hi Ruby!" Sam yelled, wandering over to her.

The older brother sighed and rolled his eyes. "What the hell am I going to do with you Sammy?"

Dean walked back over to the table he was sitting at before, rubbing his eyes as he did so. He felt the start of a bad headache coming on and he knew just what it was from. He was keeping his eyes human for far too long. He needed to change them back, but he wasn't going to leave until Sam was ready.

Nearly as soon as he sat down, Dean's phone began to ring. Sighing, he took it out and checked the screen.

Shit, it was Crowley.

"Ruby! What are you doing here?" Sam wandered over to the demon who glared at him. She was in a corner with some man. He was really tall, like his own height tall. Which was huge.

"Go away Sam. Can't you see I'm busy here?"

"But I thought you liked Dean?"

"I'm a demon," she whispered. "I don't like anyone. Now fuck off."

"Ruby had sex with my brother." Sam had no idea why he said that, but he didn't really care.

The guy looked back and forth between the two. "Okay, what the hell?" He stared at Ruby. "You're really hot and all, but this is getting freaky. I'm out." He walked away and hurried towards another girl.

"Way to go asshole," Ruby growled.

"But you are hot; or that body is, you could get any of these guys."

"You are so trashed, it's not even funny. Okay, well it kind of is."

Sam wasn't sure what Ruby had said. "Why don't you just make out with Dean?"

"I'd make out with you if I didn't already know your brother would kill me for it."

Sam scrunched up his face. Gross. He didn't want to kiss demons. They probably tasted like sulfur.

"Sam." The younger Winchester turned around to see his brother coming towards him. Sam smiled at Dean.

"Hey Dean! I found Ruby, you guys should hook up again, her guy ran away..."

"That's nice," Dean said and even though Sam felt pretty out of it, he still noticed how Dean winced and rubbed at his temple. "We need to leave, now. You too, Ruby."

Dean grabbed his sleeve and Sam simply let Dean drag him out of the bar. He didn't trust himself to walk on his own anyway.

"Dean, what's wrong?" He could tell his brother was in pain. "Does your head hurt? Maybe you need a drink..."

"Sammy, just shut up." They walked out of the bar and Sam watched as Dean's eyes went back to their normal black and the older brother breathed a sigh of relief.

Oh yeah, Dean got headaches when his eyes stayed human for too long. Sam didn't like Dean's eyes human either, it looked too weird. He liked his demon eyes better because that's what Dean was and Sam was so used to him like this now. It just fit.

Suddenly Sam felt bad for Dean being uncomfortable when he took him out for his birthday. He reached out and grabbed Dean's sleeve, well that was after he missed it three times.

"Dean...I'm sorry you had to change your eyes for my birthday...I..."

They stopped at the Impala and Sam hadn't realized they had walked that far, he swayed on his feet from the sudden change in momentum.

"Who cares about that," Dean interrupted him. "We have bigger problems to worry about." Even drunk, Sam knew the look on Dean's face meant something huge had just happened.

"I just got off the phone with Crowley. He found Lilith."