Questioned of Self
Chapter 17: Love's Cruel Symptoms
Setsuna laid in his bed with his eyes entertained by the marble floor below him. After the disturbance and shocking revelations during dinner, the savior was insisted to take leave to his rooms. Whether in fear of distraction or panic, the evils shooed the mortal boy up to his bedroom as they discussed about the problem at hand.
The silence and wait tortured Setsuna like nails clawing at his back. He couldn't help but shake off what that angel said. "You're nothing to him! His past memories are dead memories. "
Setsuna rolled onto his back with a groan. He spent his isolation questioning the truth beyond such false words until he heard his door open. The mortal boy sat up to find Kato closing the door behind him.
"How is it down there?" Setsuna first asked.
"Hm, all these old evils are crowding Kuria and trying to add their two cents into everything. Just now they are starting to put up strict security around the lands and castle boarders. No angel can land without getting his wings burnt off." He plopped himself down without caring Setsuna's long face.
"I can't believe he fooled us—all of us—for so long. All the signs were right in front of our eyes and we did nothing." Setsuna curled his knees up to his chest.
"Listen," Kato began. "It was a sneaky ass thing the angels did. What could you expect, they're arrogant and cruel." Setsuna listened quietly before he answered.
"What a disappointment." He said. Kato shifted closer with his eyes furrowed in confusion.
"What is?"
"As long as we can remember, us mortals held angels higher than saints. Beautiful and innocent creatures only doing God's will…Now it turns out all of them are vain individuals. Just as dirty as an immoral human." Setsuna bowed his head to hide his melting eyes. Kato felt for Setsuna and understood his tears. After all that has happened, after all that was lost, you find yourself wondering if it's all worth it.
"I believe a long time ago angels were worthy of the description you just said. Back before man was ignorant, I think angels were delicate and caring."
"A long time ago." Setsuna stressed.
"And I still think there are some today who are still like that." Setsuna lifted his face from behind his knees.
"Alexial?" He asked.
"When I died from being controlled by Rosiel I was lost and defiled from the impure drugs he gave me. It was like a bug eating from within my flesh. Till I saw a blinding light, and as I got closer that light transformed into the most glorious woman I had ever seen. For some reason her smile and embracement made me think of a mother that I never had. It was Alexial that purified my soul and let me die peacefully. Knowing that, I cannot agree that all angels are out for themselves. I know that there's some out there for the greater good, like what they did long ago."
Setsuna smiled at Kato's words, mainly because he believed in the same exact thing.
"Lord Lucifer," The dark angel lifted his head from his arms as he sat before the mirror. "You are being summoned by Lord Rosiel." The sister departed with a bow, leaving the dark haired angel to himself again. The pain was excruciating. He wished he could throw it all up and clean himself from it's infection but still it remains deep within his chest.
However Rosiel wouldn't wait for Lucifer's pain to heal. When he demanded his servants present, it was expected for them to come. He raised himself from his seat and walked out of his room and down the spacious hallway. To his left was walls while to the right a courtyard of Eden. He followed the path till he found the library where Rosiel sat.
Rosiel waited for Lucifer to close the door with his cheek resting on his hand and his legs crossed as he sat on the large armchair. Behind the chair, with his back to Lucifer was none other than Katan.
"You called." Lucifer greeted sarcastically.
"Katan has come back from the Evil's kingdom." Rosiel began.
"And it seemed empty handed as well." Lucifer sneered. Katan didn't budge from Lucifer's words.
"As always you're right. Katan's mission was to assassinate the evil's princess and savoir but his cover was blown after trying a thousand methods. It seemed like they had a guardian angel on their hands." Rosiel chuckled lightly.
"I'm sorry to hear your plan was a bomb." Lucifer answered with no care at all of Rosiel's plans.
"However," Rosiel continued. "He has come back with rather disturbing news." With this Lucifer stopped pacing the room. His black eyes shifted to Katan and noticed the angel try to catch a glimpse of his reaction by turning his head to the side.
"Pray tell." Lucifer smiled.
"It seems that you've been spending much of your nights with company, that part is true. Yet from Katan it's known that the company is none other than the Savior himself, Setsuna Mudo."
Lucifer's eyes blazed with hate towards the blonde angel.
"You little—'' When he made a step towards him Rosiel stopped him with words.
"Don't get mad at Katan for I've known the truth all along." Katan, shocked, turned around in disbelief.
"You've known!" Lucifer gasped.
"Yes. And was infuriated by it. I can smell that mortal's stench anywhere, including your room. I could barely stand in it before I wanted to throw up. Which was why I sent Katan to kill him but that seemed it didn't work because you planted one of your loyal Satans to block all his attempts!" Lucifer was too mad to look at Katan or Rosiel. He stared at the carpeted floor.
"Well! Explain yourself Lucifel!" Rosiel ordered.
"I did what I wanted and nothing more." Rosiel was furious at Lucifer's answer. He quickly got up and slapped his servant across the face.
"You're pathetic! I had higher expectations from the Dark Lord Lucifer but it seems that I was wrong!" He hissed but Lucifer said nothing nor did he touch the cheek which he was slapped. Rosiel turned back to sit down.
"It seems that the reason why I can't kill the Savior is because of you. So, to fix this I'm going to send you to do it." Lucifer couldn't hold in his alarm. "With this blade." Rosiel looked up at Katan, signaling for the blonde to pull out and hand a small, polished knife to him. Rosiel held it out for Lucifer to take.
"What makes you think that I'm gonna take that from you!" Lucifer hissed.
"Cause I order you to. If not than I'll kill you just as easily. "Rosiel slurred. Lucifer tensed his jaw tight as he walked over to take it. He couldn't deny Rosiel. He was the servant, and Rosiel the master. Lucifer didn't stay any longer in that room after he snatched the blade out of Rosiel's hands. In fury, he stormed out slamming the doors open.
Katan could only watch from his spot. He said nothing as he watched nor felt for Lucifer's predicament. Lucifer was halfway down the hall when he heard Rosiel from outside the library.
"If you kill him," Rosiel leaned against the doorway. "The pain will disappear and you'll stop your suffering." Lucifer turned around. Was what Rosiel was saying true? Could he end his suffering all in one moment? "Just think about that.
Lucifer watched till Rosiel went back into the library before he continued his way towards his room. With each step that familiar pain which Rosiel had just mentioned came back in full blast. Lucifer gripped the collar of his shirt, ready to tear it off when he got in the safety of his room.
"That if I kept going I'd never see you again. I couldn't take another step! I couldn't let that happen!"
Lucifer reached his room and slammed the door, hoping it's booming sounds would scare off this pain and voices.
"No you're not! You're not taking the easy way out Sempai. You called to me and I came out of my dream."
"Why won't it go away?" Lucifer slammed his back against the door.
"IF YOU'RE NOT THERE I'M NOT COOL WITH IT! IT'S NOT OKAY WITH ME!"
Lucifer slowly slide down the wall and slumped as he sat down on the floor alone. His hands gripped his chest and throat. Again it was beginning to dry up and his stomach feeling like something was clawing to come out.
"I never wanted to be human. But…what if…I just wanted to stay Sakuya Kira for a little longer."
Lucifer began to shake uncontrollably. His breathing grew heavy. "I have to kill him." The dark angel said to himself. "If it's to stop this than I must kill him…no matter how much I'll regret it."
REVIEW! Next chapter will probably be the last. Everything of what this story is about will finally come out at last. Just to tell you a little more on the voices in Lucifer's head. These are direct quotes from the actually manga Angel Sanctuary. I just picked out some lines that I thought had a strong impact on Kira and used them as voices from the past life of Lucifer as a human. Next chapter you'll know why is he feeling this pain and where it comes from.