Because of Changes
-oOo-
Six months had passed since Dumbledore's funeral, but still the wizarding world was in mourning for the greatest wizard that had ever lived. Somehow his death had changed not only the lives of everyone he had touched, but the world itself was mad from grief. The sky was unusually dark and grey, even for the middle of October, all the colours seemed too dull and the bird sung a mournful teary tune.
The mood at 4 Privet Drive was not any better.
Since the funeral, many things had changed. Harry, Ron and Hermione had all left school and joined forces with the Order of the Phoenix to vanquish Voldemort once and for all. The Dursleys, in their relief to finally have the wizard misfit out of their home, decided to move closer to London, where they could set up their new 'non-magical' lives. But because of the strange rumours surrounding number 4 (hordes of owls, flashing lights, flying post and floating old ladies) no one was willing to pay even a quarter of the value of the property.
So the Order stepped in and took it off their hands, since Grimmauld Place was no longer an option, it seemed only appropriate and safe to contain themselves in a very heavy muggle population.
But if one was to enter number 4, before and after the Order had occupied the house, you would never have imagined it to be the same place.
Once before, the walls ached and groaned under the weight of so many golden framed pictures of the relatively large boy called Dudley. Knickknacks in gold, silver, bronze and porcelain occupied all known space. The walls and furniture were covered in sickly sweet floral patterns and bright colours, and all had been rigorously cleaned and polished until one could see oneself in it's surface.
Now, however, 4 Privet Drive looked like the ghost of the place it had once been. All signs of Dudley had been removed or eradicated; the knickknacks had been packed away and taken to the Dursley's new home. The furniture too had been rehoused and replaced with huge, lumpy particially moth-eaten sofas and dented mahogany tables that looked (and probably were) hundreds of years old. The wallpaper was peeled off in certain places, others were covered in scorch marks from various potion makings and especially around the fireplace, Floo powder burn marks could be seen scratched across the floral pattern.
At present, only one person occupied the former living room; sat perched near the window, looking forlornly at the terrible dark sky that rumbled and groaned was a young girl who fatigue made her look at least five years older. She gripped in her pale hands a mug of hot chocolate, but her attentions were elsewhere, with someone else.
Tonks had changed a great deal in a matter of six months. Something had been stolen from her when the realisation that things would never be the same hit her like a ton of bricks.
Her hair had reverted back to being a dull blonde that stuck to her skull, limp and lifeless. Her eyes were a shady grey, dead and empty. She had lost a lot of weight since pressure on the Order had grown to do something about Voldemort and the Death Eaters. She found herself merely finding nutrition in the form of hot chocolates and the occasion sandwich Molly Weasley literally forced down her throat.
Things had gotten worse once the news of Dumbledores passing had hit the headlines. There was panic and disaster; the Ministry was working overtime to cover up the outbreaks of duels and attacks on unsuspecting muggles. Aurors like Tonks were out in force, scouring Britain trying to neutralise the danger.
Tonks herself had returned the previous night from Sheffield, where she and fifteen other aurors were called to the aid of almost a thousand muggles attending a concert. Death Eaters had surrounded the audience and were firing curses into the sea of muggles. Tonks had found herself face-to-face with her own nemesis, Bellatrix Le Strange. The witch had laughed as she recalled how she had killed Sirius; forcing Tonks to attack in a wave of fury, momentarily dropping her guard to fire off attack after attack. But Bellatrix had found the window she needed and had shot the cruciatus curse at her, sending her temporally into a agonising spiral of pain that she had never experienced before. Luckily Kingsley Shacklebolt had come to her aid and fought back Bellatrix long enough for Tonks to retreat and recover.
She fought hard until back up arrived in the form of Mad-Eye Moody, Arthur Weasley, Minerva McGonagall and Remus Lupin, the latter of whom she was most anxious to get to. She hadn't seen Remus for four months, not since he went deep undercover in Greyback's secret Werewolf society. She was pained to see him looking worn and haggard, he had obviously not been eating well and was sporting a few scratches and bruises on the exposed parts of his body.
It was only after the battle, when all the Death Eaters had fled, that she had the chance to speak to him. She ran into to unsuspecting arms, tightening her grip around his neck and burrowing her face in his chest. She could smell his musk, she could feel his heart racing but she noticed how his muscles tensed as she closed around him.
Gingerly Remus had lifted his own arms to remove hers from his neck. She pulled away and looked into his face. His eyes were so sad and so alone that it almost broke her heart. Within a few seconds he had planted a shadow of a kiss on her forehead before turning away and headed towards Minerva who was in deep discussion with Mad-Eye. With one final glance back at Tonks he disapparated, leaving Tonks very empty and confused.
And now she sat at the window of number 4, sipping on her cooling mug of hot chocolate, sick with worry about Remus, hoping and praying that he would return to her, safe and sound.
Tonks was snapped from her thoughts as Shacklebolt, Mad-Eye and another Auror newly recuited to the Order paced slowly down the stairs. Shacklebolt eyed Tonks sadly before dismissing Mad-Eye and the other auror. Both disappeared through the front door and walked casually down the street, trench coats slung over their normal wizarding robes.
"He will return, Nymphadora" Shaklebolt murmured as he stepped into the living room.
Tonks barely acknowledged his presence but nodded to show him she heard what he had said. Her eyes remained fixed on the street. She hadn't even bothered to scold Shacklebolt for using her first name.
"Arthur and Mad-Eye will be here in the morning to discuss the muggle situation, are you staying here tonight?" he asked
Tonks nodded, "I just need to be here right now" she replied, her voice thick with emotion, so she took another sip of the soothing broth in her hands.
Shacklebolt nodded, "Okay my dear, be careful. Call us if anything should happen. I will be at the Weasleys until midnight" he explained. Tonks nodded again to confirm she had heard and listened as Shacklebolt climbed into the fireplace, pulled some Floo powder from a deep pocket inside his royal blue robe and yelled "The Burrow!" before disappearing in a puff of green smoke and flame.
Tonks remained at the window until nightfall, her half-empty mug of chocolate lay cold in her palms, so she plucked her wand from inside her robes and magicked it hot again so bubbles popped and boiled on its surface. Carelessly she brought it to her lips and scalded her mouth, dropping the mug and shattering on the floor.
With a frustrated sigh, she whipped out her wand again and cleaned up the mess, taking the newly fixed mug to the kitchen where she again magicked it clean and put it back in one of the cupboards.
Slowly she made her way to the guest room, aware of how eeringly quiet and empty the house was, but she didn't care. The only person she wanted to be with was out of her reach, Remus had returned to his post as one of Greybacks servants as soon as the attack on the muggle concert had desisted.
Too weary to even undress, Tonks collapsed on the bed and closed her eyes, willing the darkness to take her away to place where she could forget her worries and be her old self, with the man she loved more then life itself.
CREAK!
Tonks eyes flew open as she heard the familiar groan of the bottom stair. She sat up on her bed, aware that it was still dark and very late. Her ears pricked to any unusual sounds resinating around the empty house, but she knew that someone was here, someone other then herself.
Slowly she pulled the wand out of her robe and crept quietly towards the door, slowly she pulled it open, peering out of the small gap to a shadow that was slowly making its way up the stairs.
Tonk's heart was racing so face, she feared it might leap out of her throat, but she swallowed down her fear, trying to ignore the possibility that this silhouette might belong to Voldemort himself.
But then the figure stumbled slightly and a voice she barely heard cursed and spoke a spell, "Lumos".
A light broke the dark and poured light over the intruders face. Tonk's heart leapt when she saw that it was Remus. She pushed the door open and spoke his name into the dark corridor.
Remus stopped in his tracks and looked almost fearful.
Tonks stepped forward, unsure of what was running through the werewolfs' head. She stopped when she was nearly toe to toe with him, but there was no mistaking the sadness in his eyes.
"Remus?" Tonks barely whispered, "Are you okay?" she asked, unsure if this was the right question to ask, almost frightened of the answer.
"I am well, Tonks" he replied, his voice almost a croak "and you?"
Tonks was confused with his oddly formal tone, almost as if he were talking to a stranger. Even the use of her preferred name was somehow rigid and unfriendly.
"I haven't seen you in months, I was getting worried. I saw the marks on your body…" she reach a hand up to stroke the angry looking scar on Remus' chin, when he defensivly leant away from her caring hand.
Angry and hurt, Tonk's recalled her hand as if she had just been stung by a Blast-Ended Skrewt, "Is something wrong? It's like you've been avoiding me ever since…" she faded.
It was true, ever since the funeral, Remus had become more and more elusive. It became harder and harder for her to find him alone, if indeed she could find him in the first place.
She had hoped things would have changed for the better, since he had taken her hand reassuringly at the funeral. It had comforted her beyond words to know that he felt the same way as her, despite his fears that he might hurt her or was not good enough for her. She thought she had suppressed the worries within him, but apparently, it seemed they had returned in full force.
"Please don't tell me you're having regrets," she whispered, her eyes already filling with tears. She couldn't remember the last time she had wept, she never needed too before, when she was a happy bubbly person, now she was different as the world was different.
"I am sorry Tonks" he sighed sadly, "I fear I might have been hasty. I've led you astray" he added, no longer able to look her in the eye.
Tonks felt her heart race once more in her chest, not quite sure what she was hearing. It was if she had suddenly gone both blind and deaf to everything but Remus.
"I don't understand" she replied, barely audible.
Remus scratched his scalp nervously, "It was a foolish hope to think something could come of this Tonks. I'm a werewolf after all, my mission puts me in danger every second I am in Greybacks clan"
Tonks angrily seized Remus' hands and held them to her, "And I told you, I don't care about that! I never have. It's never been an issue for me, how many times must I tell you?" she bit angrily.
Remus sighed again, trying to harden himself against her tears. He found himself failing under those big beautiful yet sad grey eyes. It made him want to die looking into those mournful orbs that he loved more then anything. But he had to remain strong.
"It's not just the lycan issue, Tonks. I'm marred, I'm old, haggard and stretched. I'm no good match for you, someone so youthful and full of life"
An angry fire burned in her eyes at those words, "Look at me Remus! Do I look full of life to you! I feel cold and empty, I've changed just as you have to adapt to this new terrible world we have to live in. I'm fighting alongside you to make it what it once was. I'm fighting for us! Can't you fight with me?" she asked.
Remus avoided her glare, but he was not to be deterred, "I'm sorry Tonks, but in this world or another, we just cannot be"
Tonk's sobbed, a single tear rolled down her delicate pale cheek, desperately she clutched at his hands, almost trying to shake some sense into him, "But we love each other! We can keep this because of how we feel, I know we can. Your love for me is the only thing that keeps me going, that keeps me fighting"
Then Remus said the one thing that Tonk's thought was as bad as casting a forbidden curse.
"I do not love you, Nymphadora," he said in barely a whisper.
Tonk's whole world shattered as she dropped Remus' hands from her own. She felt herself shaking, her heart torn and shredded. The man before her, the man she idolised and loved more then anything in the world felt nothing for her.
"No" she replied, "You can't" she cried as more tears sprang to her moist eyes.
"I'm sorry, Nymphadora" he said, inverting her gaze.
Tonks looked as though she had been slapped. He had reverted to calling her by her first name, which to Tonks was as formal as called someone Madam or Sir. Remus really had broken her, right at that moment.
"Oh Merlin!" she cried and fled past Remus who called out to her apologetically, but she refused to hear him as she jumped down the remaining stairs, threw open the front door and escaped out into the street. She got no more then a few steps before a shadow crossed her path. Her teary eyes looked upon the face of her enemy.
"Good evening cousin" Bellatrix smiled, "My, my. We are in a state"
Tonks saw the womans' wand pointed directly at her heart and knew without a doubt what was about to happen, "Get it over with," she whispered.
Bellatrix smiled, "It's the least I can do for family" and with that she lifted her wand, "Avada Kedavra!" she yelled.
Tonks only saw a flash of green light before she sank into the blissful darkness, never to feel the pain of a broken heart again.
-oOo-
Remus had felt his own heart crack at the expression on Tonk's face the moment he told her he did not love her. Nothing in his past could compare with the pain he felt right then. But as she fled, he regretted it instantly.
How could he be such a fool as to sully the one thing that kept him sane in this world of hatred and cruelty? Tonk's was his saviour. Everyday he thought of her face, thought of her scent and her touch. But lately, the pull of his lycan side was exposing him to the true risk he was putting her in.
What if Greyback was to discover him a mole? What if he were to find out his love for Tonks? He could not bear the thought of what Greyback would do to his beloved Tonks. So the only thing he could think of doing to protect her, was to stay as far away from her as possible. At least until the war was over and there was no threat other then the full moon. But he had underestimated how much he would hurt to have to lie to Tonks about his feelings for her. And as he stood glued to the staircase, he could think of nothing that could restore things to the way they were between them. He had beat her down, broken her and twisted her into something he did not recognise. Tonk's was lost to him either way.
Then he saw a flash of green light momentarily pierce through the darkness, followed by a high-pitched cackle and a crack.
Remus was snapped to his senses, "Tonks!" he cried, turning to flee down the stairs. He forced over the door, letting it slam loudly against the wall, but he didn't care if he caught attention. He raised his wand above his head to let the light travel down the street, and there he saw, not a few feet down the street, a bundle of robes lying on the pavement.
His heart in his throat, Remus ran towards the limp figure, praying to Merlin that it was not her. Not Tonks.
He crouched low over the figure and could already smell the familiar flowery sent. With a shaky hand, he reached out and turned the body to face him and when he saw her face, he covered his mouth with his hand and gave a heart-wrenching cry of agony.
"Tonks!" he cried. He looked down on her white face, her eyes were wide open still shadowed with sadness.
"No!" He wailed, his hands to his face, his whole world had collapse in on him, drowning him in grief and tears. His beloved Tonks was gone, dead.
He reached forward and pulled Tonks towards him, kissing her face desperately, trying to feel some kind of life, but there was nothing there. He pulled away to look at her once more and found to his dismay, a tear dangling from the lower eyelash of her right eye.
He had done this; he had killed the love of his life. He was no better then a murderer, no better then Greyback.
He caressed Tonk's face lovingly, his sobbing slowly ceasing, he had but one thing to do, the only thing he could do. He could not live in such a world without his Tonks.
He sniffed as he pulled his wand from his robes and held it to his left temple, "I've always loved you my Tonks" and with that he called the killing curse and a flash of green light enveloped his sight before he too, saw only black.
-oOo-
The bodies of the two aurors were discovered by the screaming neighbour, Mrs Whitfield as she went about her usual morning business of walking her dog.
The Order mourned the loss of two exceptional soldiers in the war against evil. A single ceremony was held for both aurors so that they would rest in peace together for all eternity.
Molly Weasley lifted a handkerchief to her nose and sniffed loudly, "I always knew they would be together, even in death" she sniffed as her husband placed a comforting arm around her. He looked sadly to his son, Ronald who was comforting Hermione. And knew exactly what his wife meant.
For what greater magic was there, then love.
-oOo-
THE END
-oOo-