Welcome back for a new chapter

Different Time, Same Place

"More ferocious!" Zuko barked at his pupil. "I wanna hear you roar!"

Aang released pent up stress and frustration, fire shooting from his mouth and hands. He looked to his teacher and beamed when he got a very rare nod of approval. Aang sighed in relief, and collapsed over the stairs.

"Am I done now?" he asked.

Zuko rolled his eyes and grumbled an affirmative, sitting next to Kunai. It had been an ok day, four or five on a scale to ten. She could actually sit amongst other human beings without losing her mind but she still kept one hand clasped over her leg subconsciously, the new scars still tight and painful and burned into her memory.

"You know what sounds good right now?" Sokka inquired. He jumped up, ripping his clothes off in the process. "Beach party!"

The others all cheered in agreement, jumping up and running toward the shore. Kunai cracked a small smile though stayed where she was, not considering the idea of a swimsuit or playing around like a child.

"There's only 2 weeks before the comet and they're all playing around!" Zuko muttered in frustration. During his previous encounters with the group, they were all fierce warriors, no matter how inexperienced. Now, being a part of them, he realized that for everything they were, they were still a bunch of kids.

"It's just one day," Kunai said softly, not quite meeting his eyes. Zuko frowned. Her recent passivity and overall changes in demeanor were more than unsettling. He hadn't questioned it, not wanting to push it. However, he couldn't help but dwell on the fact that her recent depression was only days apart from their kiss.

"They still act like they have no idea how serious this is! This is why I had second thoughts!" He regretted the words the moment they came out of his mouth. He clenched his jaw and stiffened. He'd thought about it privately but never dared think of voicing it. He'd sworn his loyalty to this group and to even think of betraying them was a horrible dishonor. To his surprise, when Kunai looked up at him there was softness in her eyes, a sympathy that was genuine.

"You had second thoughts?"

Zuko gulped and looked down, awkwardly picking invisible lint off his pants. Was her kindness a setup? Was she opening him up just to cut him down? Her hand wrapped around his neck, massaging the back of his head.

"I… I sometimes thought about how easy it would be to take them to my father. I could play it off as some scheme, like I'd planned everything out like Azula." He knew she heard the resentment in his voice as she scooted over, pressing her leg against his and tilting his head to look at her.

"I could go home again. Be a hero, a mastermind." He chuckled darkly, shaking his head at his own stupidity. Wordlessly, she wrapped her arm around his shoulder. He relaxed into her touch, resting his head on hers. He'd never been touched like she touched him.

Katara, from behind a pillar in the courtyard, grit her teeth and clenched her fists, the picnic basket she'd gone to retrieve long forgotten.

"But he'd never believe that. He knows I'm not as smart as her." Zuko mumbled into her hair. "I hate myself for ever considering that."

Katara loosened her jaw slightly. At least he knows how wrong he is.

"You shouldn't." Kunai said. "The point is that you didn't do it. You wanted you father's approval, anyone could understand that." Katara strained to hear her whisper.

"You're a good man. It's ok to have second thoughts."

Katara stewed behind the pillar, anger bubbling deep inside her. She wasn't even as angry at . She was angry that Kunai thought it was ok. She probably would have skipped back to Firelord Ozai at his side. Kunai, her friend, was a willing accomplice of everything Zuko had done since the crystal catacombs. Kunai, her friend, who was supposed to have her back, was sitting here saying that anything he did was just fine. Kunai, her friend, love struck and naïve.

Squelching her emotions, Katara rejoined the group at the beach, putting on a brave smile and saying that she simply could not find the basket. They were in no immediate danger; there was no use to confront her yet.

But there would be a confrontation soon enough.

The next day came and Zuko surprised the group by postponing Aang's training to go into town with Sokka and Suki. His reasons included having to get stuff, things, something, and none of your business. The three left early in the morning and returned in the afternoon, Zuko looking particularly annoyed.

"Guys! Guess what!? There's a play about us!" Sokka announced, holding up an ornate poster.

"I'm telling you it's no good guys; they messed up Love Amongst the Dragon four years in a row," Zuko grumbled, setting his back on the edge of the fountain as he sat down. Toph slid in next to him.

"What's in the bag Sparky?" She reached out to grab it. He snatched the small paper bag away, holding it above his head.

"Nothing that concerns you."

Toph shrugged. "I'll find out soon enough," she said confidently.

"So when's this little play?"

"Tonight. We can all go out together, make a night of it." Suki suggested, smiling excitedly. Zuko mumbled something reminiscent of 'we don't have time for this' but nodded noncommittally.

They left later that night, everyone teeming with excitement. Zuko was his usual self though he was looking forward to seeing what this was all about. Kunai was quiet as she had been though she was talking and joking a little more, this day not bringing any reminders of her birthday tomorrow. Katara was a bit reserved, a bad mood barely being held in that would engulf everyone if the floodgates were opened.

On the way to the theater, Kunai noticed a shadowy figure standing in an alley. At first, she didn't think much of it until she saw another man walk by, quickly exchanging a few coins for a small bag of rolled papers. She watched him intently, falling behind the rest of the group. Zuko turned around to her, motioning for her to follow. Kunai bit her lip and waved him on.

"I'll catch up," she called. When they were far enough ahead, she slipped into the alley, staring off and leaning against the wall next to the shady figure.

"Do you sell straight weed?" she murmured, holding out a handful coins. The man quickly swiped the money from her hand and replaced them with a joint.

"Not enough for a bag, sweetheart."

Kunai rolled the joint between her fingers and nodded.

"This… this is fine." She briskly left the alleyway and began walking slowly towards the theater, lighting the tip of the joint and bringing it between her lips. She sucked in a deep breath, smoke filling her lungs. Her nerves tingled, her eyes glazed over and she felt indescribably peaceful. It had been years since she'd indulged and if she'd ever needed a release, now was it.

By the time she reached the theater she'd smoked half the joint and put the rest in her pocket Kunai. She floated into the top box, sliding in next to Zuko.

"Where were you?" he asked, draping an arm around her. Kunai pursed her lips.

"I uh… I got an apple," she said seriously.

"An apple?"

"Apple."

He began to question her but the lights dropped and the music started, cutting him off. Quickly disinterested in what was turning out to be an awful play, Zuko looked down at Kunai who was leaning on his shoulder, tracing his finger on his chest. She looked up at him and smiled devilishly. He smirked back and leaned down, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss. He ran his hands through her dark tresses, pulling her close and rubbing his hand up and down her thigh. He pulled his lips away. Kunai let out a whimper of disapproval until he moved to the nape of her neck, pressing soft, tickling kisses across the taut skin.

"Z-Zuko that tickles!" she giggled, playfully shoving him away. He smiled wickedly before dipping down once, more kissing her with passion and playfulness, smiling against her lips. They stayed locked together, every once in a while pulling away with a giggle and a breath until there was a distinct cry from the stage.

"I must capture the Avatar to regain my HONOR!"

Kunai pulled away from him abruptly, leaning over the seat to stare in amused shock at the actor that was supposed to be him.

"That's hilarious!" she chocked, falling into a fit of giggles. Zuko scowled and crossed his arms.

"No it's not."

Kunai pouted and snuggled into his chest, staring up at him wide eyed with a dramatic pout. Zuko rolled his eyes but put an arm around her, pulling her close as they watched the first act play out.

"That was terrible! I'm not a woman!" Aang cried as they sat around the back entrance of the theater, lamenting on the train wreck that ensued.

"They make me seem stiff and humorless." Zuko looked around for some support, only to find empty stares. He turned to Kunai. "I'm not like that right?"

Kunai simply smiled and kissed him on the head. "You gotta admit it's pretty funny." she said.

"Yeah, that's only because you haven't showed up yet." Sokka grumbled.

"Well when I do show up it's gonna be awesome and… that's such a weird word. Awe-ssssss-uuuuu-mmmm. Awesome. Awesomeawesomeawesomeawesome awesome. It doesn't even sound like a word anymore." She looked up with a smile, meeting blank stares.

"You ok Sweet Cheeks?" Toph asked, mentally noting Sweet Cheeks wasn't the one and to find a name that clicked.

"Yeah you seem… off." Zuko said. He looked over at her, noting the her eyes were red and glazed. Kunai shook her head.

"I'm fine. I've never been better." She chirped, rocking up on her toes. Sokka stood up with a deep sigh.

"Well, this intermission's almost over. You guys ready for the rest of this… thing."

The others replied with grumbles and sarcastic comments as they filed back into the balcony box to watch the rest of the production.

"Let's go Toph! It's earthbending time!" Aang's actor/actress chirped floating off on her tiny glider contraption as the rest of the characters ran off stage. On came 'Zuko' dramatically flipping his hair with every step. Suddenly a tiny girl with dragons painted on her body, dressed in a purple bra and tight sparkly leggings cartwheeled across the stage and onto 'Zuko', wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I know that's you Prince Zuko. You can't fool-"the actress did some sort of spastic movement and threw multi-colored ribbons that were supposed to represent her bending in every direction. "The Great Dragon!" The girl winked and cocked her hip, letting out a sickeningly sweet giggle. Kunai stared, pale faced at the stage.

"That…can't be…"

"Stick with me baby! I may be bad, but I'll change for you!" Zuko rolled his eyes at the actor's proclamation and looked over at Kunai, a worrisome scowl crossing his face. Kunai whimpered as her actress jumped up and wrapped her legs around 'Zuko's' waist.

"You think you can handle the most powerful bender in the universe?" the actress purred, licking her lips.

"I know I can." 'Zuko' said dramatically. The actress then giggled like a child and flipped out of his arms and off stage. The curtain dropped, signaling the end of the scene. Katara turned back to say something clever but her words were cut short when she saw Kunai's petrified stare, deeper than embarrassment or anger. Zuko rested his hand on her knee cap, grabbing her attention and giving her a small, reassuring glance. Kunai sighed and leaned back, massaging her temples. She wasn't like that. No, she wasn't anything like that.

"Choose treachery. It's more fun!" 'Iroh' said, sipping tea with a smile. Kunai clung to his side and began rubbing his face and hair in what was meant to be affection.

"Baby…" Deep dramatic breath.

"Please…" Deep dramatic breath.

"Don't.." Deep dramatic breath.

"LEAVE ME!" she finished the proclamation in an unnaturally deep 'sultry' voice. 'Zuko', wearing the same scowl he'd worn the entire play, wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Come with me baby! We'll be unstoppable!" 'Kunai' giggled and proceeded to shove Iroh over and skip off stage with Azula and Zuko as the music roared dramatically and the lights rose, signaling the next intermission. Kunai shot up, running out of the theater and to the outer balcony. She choked on her sobs, trying and failing to withhold her tears as she doubled over the balcony. Kunai pulled the bud from her pocket, lighting it and taking a deep drag, trying to numb herself. Even as she felt it take over her body, she wanted more. She wanted the stuff her friends grew, the stuff that made her see rainbows and took her away from reality for hours. However, she didn't have stronger stuff and she was still here in reality where a complete stranger thought she was nothing but a whore. She had to wonder, what did the others think of her? What did Zuko think?

There was movement behind her and she cupped her hands around the blunt.

"Zuko I don't-"

"It's not Zuko." Katara said sharply. Kunai sighed deeply and laid her head on the banister.

"I don't want to talk, Katara."

"Then listen." Katara stalked forward until she was just behind the older girl.

"You shouldn't be upset. What you see up there is true. This whole time you've just been doing everything to please Zuko! I heard you two talking! You said it was ok for him to want to take us back to the Fire Lord! You don't care about anything other than making your precious fire prince happy!"

To Katara's surprise, Kunai began to chuckle, an unsettling self-deprecating laugh that grew louder and louder.

"You think all I want to do is please huh?" she asked, looking barely over her shoulder at the younger girl. Katara was caught off guard for a moment but quickly composed herself, nodding.

"Yes, that's exactly what I think," she said proudly, sticking her nose in the air. Kunai chuckled one more and sat up wiping the residual tears off her face.

"Old news Katara. If you think you're the only one who thinks that about me…" Kunai turned around, a dangerous glint in her eyes. She shook her head with a smirk.

"Old. News." Kunai pulled the blunt out. Katara gasped. Kunai took a deep drag and blew out puffs of white smoke into Katara's face. The younger girl jumped back, yelping.

"What is that!?"

Kunai simply laughed and sauntered past her. She thought that she should thank Katara later.

That was just the confirmation she needed.

"Ren, tell it to me straight, what do you think about this whole Kunai mess," inquired an aging man named Po. He sat with his friend in a bar, enjoying a relaxing break from the travel of the Dragons. Ren laughed deeply.

"Tell you how I see it. We all know she was drunk. Saw her take three, four hits off the pipe and you know how tiny she is. So little missy gets away from her little friends, gets a little frisky and Crico scoops in for a taste. Wakes up feeling like a slut, makes a big deal out of the whole thing."

Po shrugged slightly. "I dunno and I mean, think about it, she's what, thirteen? She's just a kid and Crico doesn't role like that."

Ren laughed, shaking his head. "Any piece of ass that fine ain't a kid in my book."

The rest of the play was a blur. Kunai spent most of it trapped within the confines of her own mind, the cycle of her thoughts growing darker and darker, dulled only slightly by the drug fading from her system. She lagged behind the group, their irritated complaints just a buzz in her ear. When they reached the house she sighed in relief. She felt a tug on her hand. She turned to see Zuko, his golden eyes glinting beneath the shade of his hood, a devilish smirk playing on his features. The play had left him tense so naturally, he was drawn to his most recent form of stress relief. He was stressed, he was horny.

He pulled her along silently, adrenaline pumping through his veins in familiar expectation. He pulled her into his room and slammed the door. In one swift movement he pressed her against the wall and captured her lips, hooking her leg on his hip. He kissed a line down her throat, nipping and sucking the taught skin of her neck. He could just barely make out his name in her soft breathy moans. She wanted him. The way her hips writhed against his steadily growing need, the way her fingers dug into his shoulder. She wants me so bad, he thought as he wrapped his fingers slightly around her neck to tilt her head back in hopes to gain more access to that beautiful smooth skin.

He couldn't quite recall what happened next, but the moment after that he was sprawled out on the floor, an excruciating ache thumping through his jaw. He looked up just as the shadow of her figure disappeared through the doorway. Zuko groaned and smacked his forehead. He thought about going after her but he knew she wouldn't want to talk to him. His libido dead and the adrenaline wearing away he found himself exhausted. He draped an arm over his eyes and sighed deeply. Sleep now. Kunai tomorrow.

The moment the door closed behind her, Kunai collapsed to the floor sobbing. She drew her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth as she sucked in choked breath after choked breath, not even trying to calm the palpitations that racked her chest. She raised her fingers to her neck, the ghost of his hands still tingling in her nerves, mixed with the memory over another's hands. She wanted to cut again, punish herself for her stupidity. What did she think his intentions were, pulling her into his room late at night with that smile he damn well knew drove her insane? However, there was one thing that was tormenting her more than anything.

She had said no.

Terrified, overtaken by sensation and warmth, her pleas had only come out as whispers, nonsensical strings of words and have phrases meant to ward him off that he'd ultimately ignored because she couldn't have appeared more willing had she stripped off all her clothes and spread her legs. Zuko was, of course, a man, a prince who could have (and did have) any woman he wanted. Yet, Kunai couldn't give that to him. She couldn't surrender herself to his feel his touch; it was someone else's hands she felt when he touched her. She couldn't please him, no matter what he thought her purpose or interest was and even if she wanted to, she could never give him her virginity like good girlfriends in the romance stories did. She could not comfort him as he did her, could not be his equal, and could not give up her past for him. She was not enough for Zuko, not enough for the group so why bother anymore? The one person in the world that truly needed her, she would not be enough for, the only difference being that little bit she had to offer was priceless.

Robotically, she pulled herself to her feet and picked through her things, pulling out two crumpled scrolls, a quill and ink.

Time to grow up, she thought as she began to scrawl her last connection with these friends, this love, that she thought would last a lifetime. Time to accept what I really am.

Thanks for reading guys! You need to read this AN! VERY IMPORTANT AN! READ THIS! READ THIS! READ THIS AN! SERIOUSLY READ IT! READ THIS AN! READ IT! READ THIS AN READ IT READ IT NOW! ITS A VERY IMPORTANT AN! READ THIS! THIS IS IMPORTANT!

There are some things you need to do.

1. Skim through Secrets She Kept. There are some notes, some simple things, minute details that will enlighten you and make you understand what will happen in the next chapter.

2. Find the song! The name of the chapter is a quote from a song by Cocorosie that explains the relationship between Kunai and another character you'll see.

3. Listen to the song 'Sweet' by Plumb. However, it'd not about what you think in the context of the story.

4. Share this story! Tell your friends, write oneshots, draw pictures, please!

5. If any of you can sing, I have re-written some songs or the story that I would love you to sing

Beta'd By Tonights The Night.

I didnt even need to show up.