Kenpachi's Tattoo: Company, Salute! He's What!
By Kracken l.w.
Disclaimer: Don't own it, Don't own it, Don't own it, Don't own it! There, is THAT clear enough for you?
Yamamoto stood looking out over a veritable sea of black with a thin white "foam" at what one might call the shore line of this figurative ocean. Screens on the walls to the right and left of his podium ensured everyone in the massive crowd a view of the speaker, the stage, and the small tactical screen hanging just behind him. The assembly hall in First Division's Admin. Building was just barely big enough to hold the eight thousand or so full squad members comfortably. When you added in a few hundred students from the academy, it rather resembled a can of sardines. The only people who weren't crowded were the Captains and their adjutants… mainly because most would rather die than jostle them. The ancient general sighed as he prepared to tell them just how grim their situation really was. Very soon now a crowded hall was going to seem an utter utopia; and yet were they to meet like this again… well, overcrowding wasn't likely to be a problem. When he had finished speaking, their reactions were all he could have possibly hoped for. First despair, and how not when they were so badly out manned? Then despair sifted to a sort of grim determination that reminded him why he was so proud of being a Shinigami. Time now to give them something else to think about; before useful determination became crippling fatalism.
"One further matter I would like to address, before you resume your duties. It has come to my attention that speculation into the private matters of one of our captains has led to an unprecedented amount of damage; to people as well as property." Faces turned to the first row where a spiky silhouette was notably absent. Ikkaku stood in his Taicho's place with his lieutenant on his shoulders; drawing gory pictures on his scalp with her crayons. " Now," He continued, his voice heavy with irony. " Normally I'd just tell you young'uns to mind your own bee's wax; but you lot are persistent and I want this done with. So I asked him about it. Zaraki-Taicho, if you'd be so kind?" The entire crowd went silent in anticipation as Zaraki Kenpachi stalked out from behind a display screen to stand beside his commander. "You might as well show them, Kenpachi." The older man chuckled, "We'll get nothing of importance done until you do." Zaraki's only answer was a derisive snort. Faces fell in a comic display of disappointment as he turned towards the back only rise again as he abruptly shrugged out of both his Captain's coat and the upper half of his uniform. This left his entire back and (most importantly, to the busy bodies and gossipmongers.) the tattoo on his right shoulder blade in full view. The reactions of most people to the hand sized bouquet of pink daisies overlaid with the name "Yachiru" in black was fairly predictable. Their was stunned silence for about three seconds before most of the women went all sappy and a few idiot males snickered. Zaraki seemed not to hear them, and simply turned to expose his left shoulder where a black heart sat encompassing a red, fanged skull; crossed just under the skull were two swords. Above the entire design was the word 'I' and beneath it, the eleventh division insignia and motto. The snickering turned to outright laughter and the big man snapped to attention. "Eleventh division! Present Arms!" He snarled. Scattered throughout the crowd, six hundred odd left hand sleeves slid back as fists shot skyward. The Eleventh division, past and present, saluted their captain. Byakuya, rather irritated by the fact that Renji still had his, was composed enough to note that while the general form of the thing never changed, the hearts appeared to personalized. Take his own traitorous lieutenant for example: tastefully planned so as not to interfere with his previous ink, Renji's was more of a suggestion than anything else; a heart shaped emptiness surrounded by swirls of black. Ikkaku's was almost a copy of his captain's , except for having spears instead of swords. Yumichika was unashamedly sporting one in royal purple with "lace" edging; and Iba, looking rather sheepish under his Captain's offended glare… Were those fox kits? He closed his eyes for a moment in disbelief. He actually smiled though when he noticed one member of that pack of hoodlums who didn't have a tattoo: Yachiru. It seemed that thug ugly menace she called a father had some sense of propriety after all. Who ever would have thought it?
Kenpachi crossed his arms and looked out over the crowd; grinning at the ruckus he'd created. Then his grin turned nasty. "Right. I guess you all heard 'em laughin', huh?" Angry shouts thundered in from all sides. " I thought so. Not laughin' now, are they?" Hoots and jeers, a few threatening looks, and then… " When we get outside? Get 'em." Kenpachi grabbed his captain's coat and jumped off the stage to a chorus of whistles, howls, and cheers from his men. Yamamoto just shook his head and hoped the poor idiots had enough sense to run. He'd have liked to have stopped this; but the eleventh's captain could be as stubborn as any mule when he really wanted something. Besides, deep down he had to admit that he felt they deserved it. " Shinigami, Dismissed."
Later on, when the casualties had all been carted off to recover, Kyoraku, Hitsugaya, Zaraki, and Ukitake began the long walk back to their divisions. Just before the turn off towards the eighth division's precincts, something odd occurred to everyone's favorite drunken master. "Zaraki-san, every one was so interested because it was common that knowledge you hated needles…" He tapered off, as the tinkling of bells emphasized a curt: "Do not."
"Well, here's the thing, if it's not being shot full of tranquilizers, just what does Unohana-Taicho threaten you with? Or is that just a rumor too?" Kenpachi was scowling now, but it wasn't his usual threatening grimace. Instead he looked faintly…embarrassed. "'M t'lsh." He muttered. "What was that?" Now Ukitake wanted to hear it too. The scowl shifted more towards normal. "M TICKELISH." He gritted out between his teeth, glaring at the looks of shock and delight on the faces of his fellow captains. Then he dropped his head , looking utterly forlorn. "And she's faster 'n me…" He trailed off with a sigh. Hitsugaya snorted back a laugh, and he wasn't the only one. The rest of the walk was silent save for the occasional snicker and the answering growls.
Things one of my Betas feels I absolutely must clarify:
1. All words in tattoos are in kanji form.
2. Yes, I meant "Thug ugly", not "Pug ugly" . I have the feeling Kuchiki would find it far more offensive than the latter.
Please review. Oh, and by the way, Ken-Chan's hiding one more. If you really want to know what it is, you know what to do.