I looked at the woman in my arms; yes, now I could call her a woman. After all I had done to her she still loved me. It almost made me sick how loving she was to a beast like me. I had managed to pull her away from the blood, so none of it was able to sully the rich blue fabric of her close-fitting dress. She looked like a goddess, more beautiful than Aphrodite, Hera and Athena combined. There, at the corner of her mouth, was a stain of red. The only indication of her death. I unwound my arm from around her and, gently as I could, wiped it away. Tears had not ceased to fall since she died, her arm outstretched like she was grasping for something.
I brought my face to her neck and kissed it. I let out a loud sob, just another of many. A faint scent reached for my attention; roses. The roses that hung to her was her perfume. The delicate smell only succeeded in pulling more tears from me; I'd always wanted to know what she wore that always made her smell so beautifully but not like this, never like this. I lifted her head and pressed a kiss into her hair; I found that it was her hair that smelled like baby powder. How? Maybe she rubbed her hair through with the oil to make it shine, maybe it was the hair products that she used. I lifted her arm to my nose and inhaled; it was just as I thought, the jasmine scent was her creme. The smells clashed together in my nose; I closed my eyes, trying to pretend that Danielle was still here with me, lying in my arms asleep.
"Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty." I brushed a thread of hair from her face. Her lips were still pink and her joints were not stiff; save for the still heart and the lack of breath I could almost fool myself into believing that she was really asleep. Almost. In all the chaos I didn't get to tell her the story of how that ridiculous tenor Piangi passed out as soon as he saw me coming from my hiding place in the rafters. It was too easy tying him up and moving in. That was the last song we would ever sing together.
"What have you done?" Something pulled my shoulder hard enough to knock me over. Danielle's body was slack against mine, head loosely thudding into my chest. I cradled her possessively, ready to fight whoever dared return to my home. All I wanted now was to let myself die here with her and I would be damned before I let whoever it was take her from me. Soft gasps pulled me from the red that clouded my mind. Of course. I turned my hate filled eyes on the boy, the boy who had started it all.
"I've done nothing." I spat coldly at him, righting myself and tenderly fixing Danielle's hair and dress, trying to provide her modesty. "Now leave; I thought you knew better than to go where you are not welcome." I placed Danielle on the ground in front of me before turning to the young vicomte, still damp from trying to fight me before. Christine stood behind him, shivering from cold along with Antoinette and my little Meg. I felt a twinge of pain; I no longer loved Christine, but I did not want her to catch her death. And why was Antoinette here? More importantly, why has she brought Meg? "I released you, why did you return?" Christine visibly gathered her courage.
"We came for Danielle; we didn't want her to make the wrong decision out of fear." I felt my anger build.
"Not everyone is as shallow as you, Christine. She made the decision of her own accord and stayed because she loved me." Christine flinched at my hard words and the boy looked ready to fight, a fight he would not win. She looked to Danielle, still and cold on the floor.
"Please Erik, this is not time for a fight." Antoinette was always so level headed, at least she was here to prevent the murder that had been brewing. Meg's eyes found the still form in my arms.
"D-Danielle? It-is she?" Tears sprang to my little goddaughters eyes as they waited for the conformation she didn't need. I nodded my head once. I felt as if I was betraying Danielle by admitting her death.
"Oh. Oh, no," Christine said, horrified. Tears sprang to the eyes of the two ballerinas and they pushed passed us, not heeding the warning that Raoul called. They stood before Danielle's body for a moment, gazing down at her lifeless face before collapsing to their knees; sobs escaped the lips of the girls I had watched grow up. Christine rested her head against Danielle's still heart and Meg covered her eyes with her hands. The grief they projected was enough to sober the fighting spirit in both the boy and I. I suppose they needed to grieve for their friend as much as I grieved for my love. I turned away from them, they didn't needed my eyes witnessing their grief. Antoinette had her eyes closed tight, her hand in front of her mouth and stood stock still. I had seen her like this before, when she was so deeply grieved of her husband's death that she couldn't work. "It's my fault." I turned to her, not wanting anyone else to feel as horrible about her death as I.
"There was nothing you could do for her, her heart was bad and there was no preventing what was inevitable." I refused to meet her eyes, choosing to look instead at the soft chocolate waves resting on the ground, framing the oval face of the most beautiful girl in the world.
"Oh, yes it was, she gave me her necklace with her spare pill in it, we could have at least given her one last day." I looked to the locked clasped tightly in her hands, one Danielle had come here wearing. Christine pinched the clasp and it sprang open. There was nothing in it beside the velvet lining. "But-but how did it…" Christine trailed off, not knowing what to make of it.
"It must have been when we were in the graveyard. I pushed her into you while I fought…" He looked up at me and I looked back, daring him to finish his sentence. "Her supply must have been almost depleted." Christine looked into the locket again before closing it and holding it to her heart. I wished they were gone, I wished I could mourn my love in peace. Antoinette rested her hand against my shoulder, knowing I needed comfort. I had known her so long she knew almost exactly what I was thinking.
"Erik, you cannot blame yourself, you had no idea. It would not have mattered anyway." I couldn't meet her eyes. She really did know what I was thinking. "And you will not go through this alone."
"And if I wish to be alone?" I asked darkly. Even I thought I sounded like a petulant child.
"Erik, you are not the only one who loved her; you are not the only one who will miss her." I looked at the faces of the people that Danielle had cared for. She had loved each of them with all the love she could give.I could hear Christine's sobs softening, she took a few deep breaths before she began a song I had heard Danielle sing absentmindedly while she cleaned. I felt a cold gust of air in my hollow chest when I realized that was almost a year ago. It was strange hearing the words come from Christine's lips, though the beauty of her voice was not lost to me, and the song seemed to fit with the grieving atmosphere. Meg slowly joined in, along with Antoinette. She had always been so conscious of her voice.
"I've been living to see you.
Dying to see you, but it shouldn't be like this.
This was unexpected,
What do I do now?
Could we start again, please?" Christine wiped a tear from her eyes.
"I've been very hopeful, so far.
Now for the first time, I think we're going wrong.
Hurry up and tell me,
This is just a dream.
Or could we start again, please?" Antoinette had come up behind Meg and delicately held her to her chest along with Christine.
"Could we start again, please?" I think Raoul and I surprised ourselves by joining in.
"I think you've made your point now.
You've even gone a bit too far to get the message home." I shared a verse with Christine before we let the boy sing alone.
"Before it gets too frightening,
We ought to call a halt,
So could we start again, please?"
"Could we start again, please?" Our voices made a chorus the ricocheted off the walls of the caverns. Meg's soft mezzo, Antoinette's alto, Christine's soprano.
"I've been living to see you.
Dying to see you, but it shouldn't be like this.
This was unexpected,
What do I do now?
Could we start again, please?" Christine's voice rose above ours.
"I think you've made your point now.
You've even gone a bit too far to get the message home." I let my fist crash into one of the exposed walls, keeping my face from them.
"Before it gets too frightening,
We ought to call a vote." Out of the corner of my eye, I was able to see the boy-Raoul- bending over Danielle's body.
"So could we start again, please?" Christine sang.
"Could we start again, please?" I called to no one.
"Could we start again, please?" Raoul sang.
"Could we start again, please?" We all sang together. For several long moments we sat, or stood, in silence, giving us all a moment to grieve in peace; we all thought of the eccentric, energetic girl that had worked her way into all of our hearts. It was almost as if I could hear her laughter echoing off the walls.
"We should speak with a priest. We must arrange Danielle's funeral." the words felt heavy in my mouth. Then something happened. Danielle's body seemed to glow. We were all frozen in place; slowly Danielle's body began to fade. I tried to grab for her but my hands slipped through. It was like putting my hand through air, there was no mass there. Danielle's image became dimmer and dimmer before it faded completely, leaving nothing behind but the memory that something was once there. I frantically felt the floor where she had lain. There was nothing. It was as if she had never been there at all. I howled in anguish, the animalistic sound making every person in the room flinch away.
Antoinette tossed caution to the wind and wrapped her arms around me as she had when I was small and had nightmares. "Erik, be calm! She wasn't from here, there is someone where she lived that is missing her, the last we can do is give them her body." I let the careful mask of emotions crack and I let myself fall apart in Antoinette's arms. The rest of them be damned, I couldn't hold my sorrow in any longer.
DANIELLE
I pulled a gust of air into my lungs and sat up. Too fast, I thought. My head started spinning. For a moment I didn't know where I was and I panicked. The memories of Erik and the last day came slamming back like a runaway train. I began to shake as I evaluated my body. I ran my hands over my arms, legs and torso, taking deep breaths, checking if my lungs were working. I felt a little weak, but other than that, I felt fine. Everything was working and intact. I looked around. Everything was set up just like I remember it. I was sitting on the ground of the middle of the stage. Had I fallen asleep? No, that's stupid; I don't remember sitting down and I was way too pumped to sleep. I must have passed out; yeah, that was more believeable. There was no way that I was transported to the Phantom of the Opera, that was just way too weird and also impossible. I shook my head, trying to clear it. I needed a drink of water.
"Danielle? Why are you sitting on the ground?" I looked up and almost sucked my tongue down my throat. Sierra was standing near the fake stairs on the stage with the wig and the slave girl dress she wore in the first scene. Flashes of my dream came back to me, flashing before my eyes. I pushed them away and struggled to my feet, Sierra came over and helped me up. "What's wrong?"
"I, uh, guess I passed out. Bad heart and stuff, you know." I felt a little embarrassed. I rubbed my arm. Sierra looked stricken.
"Oh my God, are you alright?" She held onto my arm and pulled me away from the stage. "We need to get you somewhere to rest." She reminded me of Christine, in how caring she was. I mentally shock myself. Christine was just a dream, I did not actually meet her, I did not meet Meg and most importantly I did not me Erik. I felt my heart sink a little. Fucking imaginary feelings. I slouched a little. Or tried to, something was keeping my spine straight. What the hell?
I discreetly looked down the cleavage of my dress, my heart skipped a beat. Under my blue chiton dress was my black corset. I could feel the ties in the back restrict my waist, but not so much anymore. Wait... so, it really happened? I'd gone back in time, traveled to a different universe for all I knew, and come back just to be alone for the rest of my miserable life? Who was running this show anyway?
But that meant that everything that happened over the last year really happened. I felt cold. I had died, hadn't I? I'm so confused. How did I get back here? More importantly, how did I get there to begin with? Sierra lead me backstage, past a few people I had met before, allegedly like half an hour ago, but more than a year ago to me. What was their names?
"There you are Danielle, I was worried since you didn't come back." I turned to look at the speaker. It was Ramin. He was still in the chair; they were just placing the wig on him, the black one. I smiled at him, trying to act as normal as possible.
"No, she isn't okay; she just passed out on the stage and since no one was there she would up on the ground since you let her out of your sight." Sierra snapped at him. Wow, who did she think she was? My owner?
"Sierra, really, it's fine. I'm fine. I haven't felt this good in fourteen years." For the first time in a while it felt like my chest wasn't restricted. Weird since I was wearing a corset. "How much longer till the show?" I asked.
"An hour, in half they'll open the doors and start seating. Are you sure you're alright?" Ramin's brow furrowed and for one second he looked like Erik, my Erik. I felt an onslaught of sadness tie itself around my heart and settle. Well, I'd fallen in love, had it reciprocated and then died. I hope something good was coming my way. I smiled as best I could with all I had on my mind.
"I'm fine, don't worry about me. I just… need a drink of water." Sierra squeezed my arm before she went and brought back a bottle of water. I gulped down half of it and screwed the lid back on. "I'm going to go to my seat, good luck guys!" I gave them a thumbs up and went back the way I came.
"We'll see you after the show is done!" Sierra called after me.
"Sure!" I called back.
SIERRA
"I'm worried for her, Ramin." I bit on my thumb nail, looking the way Danielle had gone. "Something was definitely up with her." Ramin nodded in agreement.
"I know, not an hour ago she was so bright, now it seems like she's, I don't know, grown up. The light in her eyes seemed flat. Didn't you just find her passed out on the stage?" I nodded, trying to process it all; there was something going on, but I didn't know what. "Well, how isn't she hurt? Maybe she has a concussion."
"She seems fine. I hope she is, she's already wormed a place in my heart." I smiled at him.
"Yeah, mine too. I feel like she has that effect on people." I laughed. It certainly did.
DANIELLE
I watched the auditorium fill with excited phans, all squealing and laughing, just happy to be here. I felt like a rock. Just a fuckin rock. I smiled at the people who sat next to me, even talked to one of them, but I wasn't really in it. At last the play started.
It was weird, seeing the last year of my life played out before me, but this wasn't right; that was me, not Christine. In this version of Hannibal there was no Evangeline. It saddened me that Blaise wasn't a character. Oh, God, Blaise. I almost began to cry right in the middle of Poor fool. God, he'd really died. I tried to enjoy the show, to forget that this was my life; in the end I was able to enjoy it, I even cried when Christine came back to return the ring.
"It's over now,
The music of the night!" I clapped and cheered for Ramin's performance; he could hold a candle to Erik's voice. I clapped through to the bows and clapped some more when Andrew Lloyd Webber himself came out. He looked a bit nervous.
"Thank you," he began to thank all of the people he had met along the play and gave a beautiful speech. "Here is our original London company." I stood spellbound as he introduced Michael Crawford. God, he looked like such a nice guy. "Finally, and I suppose this is very special for me, it is a great joy for me to welcome tonight my Angel of Music, Sarah Brightman." I almost couldn't believe it; not twenty feet away stood my idol, smiling like an angel and accepting our praise. Her hair was so beautiful. "Without these two, we would not be here. We have one, slight additional surprise. Sarah had agreed to sing for us, but she wanted more to give this song to someone who she says deserves it more." She's giving the song to Sierra? That's so sweet. "Please welcome to the stage, Danielle BellRose." Oh my God, did he just say my name? Sierra gestured for me to come on stage. I stood from my seat and made my way up the stairs. Panic was making my hands shake. Sarah held her arms open to me and I couldn't believe that Sarah was giving me a hug. I almost burst into tears.
She held me at arms length, clasping our hands together. I smiled as wide as I could, I knew my eyes were brimming with tears. "Thank you so much for this opportunity, I never thought something like this could ever happen to me." She laughed a bit.
"We can spend time talking about this later, they're waiting for you." She motioned to the microphone. I stared out at the crowed. One moment turned into another. Why was I so nervous? I'd stood onstage and sang at the Opera Populaire, I could do this. I took a deep breath and let go of Sarah's hands, I hope I didn't hold her hands too tight. I can do this, I knew the song, it didn't matter that I didn't practice it. I reached out to adjust the microphone, bringing it down to my height.
"This comes as a surprise to me too, please bare with me." The crowd clapped for me, sending their encouragement to me.
"Maestro, take it away." Oh crap. Here we go. As the notes began I shook myself, getting into my zone.
"In sleep he sang to me
In dreams he came
That voice that calls to me and speaks my name
And do I dream again for now I find
The Phantom of the Opera is there
Inside my mind." I tried my best to look like I was in a trance.
"Sing once again with me
Our strange duet," I recognised that voice, it was Colm Wilkinson. Why was he never a cowboy? He totally had the voice. I turned to face each new voice as they came, to make it seem like we were singing together.
"My power over you grows stronger yet." Oh my God, it was Anthony Warlow. Was he always bald?
"And though you turn from me,
To glance behind." This was someone new, I'd never heard him before; I needed to remember to ask who he was.
"The Phantom of the Opera is there,
Inside your mind." John Owen Jones. I'm singing with John Owen Jones. The audience was going crazy.
"Those who have seen your face,
Draw back in fear.
I am the mask you wear."
"It's me they hear." John and Colm harmonized. It was incredible.
"My/your spirit and my/your voice,
In one combined.
The Phantom of the Opera is there
Inside your/my mind." We all sang together. Oh my God, this was better than any dream I had before.
"He's there, the Phantom of the Opera!" Voices came from all around us, I didn't want to sing and drown them out.
"In all your fantasies
You always knew
That man and mystery," Andrew and John sang from my right and I turned to sing to them, my eyes wide and blank as I could make them.
"Were both in you."
"And in this labyrinth
Where night is blind," I Turned to my left, facing Colm and the man I didn't know but who was becoming one of my fast favorites.
"The Phantom of the opera is there
Inside your/my mind." We all sang together again, so I stared out at the crowd.
"Sing, sing my Angel of Music!" Colm demanded. I turned to him and sang. My heart was crookedly beating in my chest, I almost felt light headed.
"He's there, The Phantom of the Opera!" I began to vocalize, putting on a sweet, innocent, desperate to please face.
"Sing for me!" Andrew demanded. I turned to him and clasped his hand, my voice ricocheted off of the walls.
"Sing for me!" John came up and took my hands, Andrew backed away. I looked up into his eyes and climbed higher.
"Sing for me!" Demanded the new man. He pulled me slightly towards him and caressed my cheek with the hand that wouldn't block the microphone. I could feel a presence standing behind me, but I didn't hear the approach, the music was pumping around me, through me; it was like I'd been drowning in an ocean and it invaded my body.
"Sing for me!" Ramin's hand shot out from behind me and quickly closed over my throat, it didn't hurt, the touch was feather light, it was for the dramatic effect of the Phantom possessing Christine's voice. I lifted my arms up high, like they were wings and I sang the last, and highest, note. I held it for as long as I could. The people in the audience were going crazy. Just as my note faded a cough convulsed through my body. I could feel my lungs bursting.
"Oh God, not again." My arms fell and I clutched the space in front of my heart as another cough was amplified through the microphone. This time blood fell from my lips. I took a ragged breath, trying to center myself. "Someone call an ambulance." My legs gave way under me and I fell. There was a swirl of noise and voices; everyone who had a cellphone was either filming or calling 911, or whatever it was in England, I almost didn't realize that someone had caught me. I could hear my name being called through a haze. My eyes went in and out of focus; I looked above me, I guess it was Ramin, he was the only one in Phantom make up.
"Danielle, can you hear me? What's wrong, what's happening?" Ramin shook me a bit, trying to get me to concentrate. Sierra was right next to him. In fact, there were quite a few people around me. People I didn't know and couldn't see. I rolled onto my side and spat blood over the clean, back floor. The pool of blood glittered like spilled liquid jewels on the ground, everything was sideways.
"This, this is what happens when you try to kill your daughter." My mind was jumping from place to place. Ramin was calling to someone, maybe it was to someone who was trying to help me. Sierra was saying something, trying to keep me from moving, I was violently coughing and gasping for air around mouthfuls of blood. What was going to happen now? At least I would be with Erik and Blaise, I would see them again. God, how I missed them. For a moment I was filled with a sudden violent sadness but the next cough was so harsh that whatever sadness.
"Danielle, the paramedics are almost here, don't worry, you're going to be alright." Sierra pulled the strands of hair slicked with blood and sticky away from my face, pressing a warm hand to my clammy skin. I shook my head and retched more blood on the floor. There was yelling and noise all around me and I just couldn't get warm.
"I'm scared Sierra, I don't want to die; I've already done that and it was scary the first time. I don't was to be remembered as the girl who died on the floor of the Royal Albert Hall. I don't want people to remember this day as the day they watched someone die."
"It won't be; you're too rough to die here, you'll make it to the hospital." Ramin was using a sleeve to rub the blood from my cheeks. The way my blood sullied the purity of it, making it red, was horrible to see. I shook my head tiredly.
"It's happening again, I've lost too much blood now." Someone was holding my hand, I could feel them there.
"Roll her onto her side, we need to empty her lungs." It was Sarah.
"Thanks for everything Sarah, it was really scary in the hospital; the surgeries, the day to day of not knowing if was going to die, the horrible pain of knowing what happened. Thanks for giving me someone who would be my hero, someone that I knew didn't pity me, someone for me to believe in and someone to aspire to be like." She was crying then. I had made the Angel of Music cry.
"If you keep talking it will get better, just keep talking." They urged me. I was at a loss of what to say, so I told them my life story.
"I saw my father die. It had been a long, drawn out trial. They wheeled me into court on a gurney sometimes to testify against him. I would never look at him. They finally found him guilty when I was six. My oldest brother, Donnie, had been an aspiring med student. With what happened they offered him a full scholarship and full access to all the research labs. I can't remember what his college was. Well, he worked day and night, in between homework and classes, to find a cure for me. He got halfway there. I took that medicine for years and years, not I don't have any more. Both of my brothers went to med school, so they could somehow make up for the fact that I was the one who had to suffer the most. I'm so tired of it all now." I didn't want to talk anymore. Ramin gently smacked my cheeks, trying to get me to focus on him. I made my eyes meet his.
"Danielle, you have to fight. Don't give up." I licked my dry lips. I felt a shock go down my spine. Everything faded out besides the clicking of the heels on Der Tod's boots. I watched him come. It was like watching a storm roll in over the grey sea.
"Why are you doing this to me? What have I done to you that you could be so cruel to me?" He said nothing. I didn't expect him to. Instead he knelt by my head and cradled me in his arms. I , knew then that he intended to kiss me. "You killed me there so you could kill me here? In all my years of defending you I would never have believed you to be so cruel. I was wrong."
I wanted to make him hurt, hurt like I am. But, as death, he must have heard all this before. His face stayed impassive as ever. His eyes gave nothing away, they were flat and unearthly blue. Slowly, like he was trying not to frighten an animal he lowered his lips to mine.
This is wrong, I thought. His lips are cold, nothing like Erik's warm lips. As the darkness swallowed me I begged that when I wake up Erik will have replaced Tod.
My eyes popped open. There was an annoying beeping somewhere near and there was a familiar numb tingle in my abdomen. The beeping, a heart monitor, began to come closer together. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Why was I still alive? Der Tod had kissed me, there's no coming back from that.
"Ah, I see you're awake." I looked towards the door; there was an older man with a white beard in scrubs. He kind of looked like santa. I guess he was the doctor who operated on me. "How are you feeling?"
"I feel…" I stopped. How did I feel? My heart was beating the same way it had been for years but I felt… different. Like my body was still my body but different. "Not the same?" How else could I describe this feeling? There was power. I was powerful.
"As expected. Your power has been capped for more than a decade, you may feel a little light-headed until you become used to it." Wait, what?
"I'm sorry, I think the drugs haven't worn off yet, can you repeat that? Or tell me what you mean." I heard the clicking of heels on tile. I looked around again to the door where Der tod stood casually leaning against the frame. The beeping became erratic again.
"Do try to be less intimidating, her heart was only just fixed." The old guy knew death was here? Either I'm dead or this guy hasn't scratched the surface of what he needs to tell me.
"What's going on?" I asked, to tiptoe around this would be impossible and illogical. The old man turned to me and smiled.
"You may want to brace yourself for the story I am about to tell you."
Cliffhanger ending! You must hate me for making you wait so long, I'm sorry. I just didn't want it to end. That said, get ready for the sequel! In a few stories. I'm planning on writing a story for Peter Pan and a short for Star Trek before unless inspiration comes knocking hard. Thank you everyone who stayed with me through this story, it's been an honor receiving your reviews. I loved every moment. Could We Start Again, Please belongs to ALW along with all the other songs and the characters belong to their rightful owners. Remember, ask me anything this week and I'll post the answers on Monday next week. Peace, Love and Soul.