Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice
Dedication: Sam. I give you the virtual best friend award because you actually reviewed when I asked you to. Also thanx for putting up with my crap. I just know your smiling while reading this.
ALSO, it was brought to my attention that there was a random time leap in Mikan's death from one year to three years from chapter 1 to 5. I did not know that my original plan was to have only one year's time but since that is what it was I have changed Mikan's death year. It happened last year and it has only been one year since she has seen Natsume and everyone, not three years. I went back and changed it as well. Sorry for the confusion! Now, onwards~
**(^)**
Dinner was quiet. And by that I mean really, really quiet, to the point that it was stifling. I tried to start a conversation, to lighten up the mood but all my advances were shot down at once. For example:
"How was work Dad?" I asked Mr. Koizumi, with a happy smile.
He looked at me like I had grown an extra head, "Normal." He had replied in a tiny voice.
I tried someone else, "Did you like the garden party mom?" I asked the evil step mother sitting across from me.
"Yes." She said at once and looked away.
Okay… "Did you get enough rest Sumire?" I turned to the girl beside me with a forced smile.
"Mmm." She said with her mouth full of food. Wow, I can't get more than a monosyllable reply and the last reply wasn't even a word.
I gave up then and ate my food as fast as possible tired of the looming awkwardness my attempt at conversation had created. I ate mouthfuls of spaghetti and choked it down with apple juice. When I finished I looked up to see the entire Koizumi family staring at me.
"What?" I asked the stares.
"Did you not get enough lunch?" I heard from the father.
"No, I didn't exactly have time to eat it…I was busy." Yeah, busy stopping Natsume from committing murder in front of the entire school.
"Still, are you okay? You shouldn't be eating so much, your still recovering." Sumire said.
I looked at her confused, "Isn't food good for a recovering patient?"
It was the step mother that replied, "She means from your eating disorder." The mother was looking at me weirdly now.
Surprise, surprise, our tragic heroine was also suffering from anorexia.
"Uhh, yeah, I'm fine; I'm just tired so I'm going to go sleep now, goodnight!" I said and ran for the stairs. I climbed the long staircase feeling sick, there was pain in my stomach and it felt like the room started spinning. I held my head and walked the remaining stairs. I dashed for the bathroom in Luna's room once the staircase ended.
I ignored the sink completely and bent next to the toilet to throw up my dinner.
When it felt like there was nothing left in my hollow stomach I got up and washed myself, flushing down the vomit. I got out only and saw Kitsuneme lying on Luna's bed staring at a picture of Luna and a beautiful blonde haired woman with eyes just like Luna's.
"You could've told me she had an eating disorder." I said accusingly.
"And what fun would that be?" He said still looking at the picture. He looked up at me once and said, "You wouldn't have listened and found out the hard way anyway. I decided to save my breath." He said turning back to the framed picture on the side of the bed as though I no longer existed.
I went to the bed and pushed Kitsuneme so that he fell off. I laid there burying my face in the pillows still feeling a bit dizzy.
"You know if I was alive, that would've really hurt." He said climbing on the bed again.
"You wouldn't be alive right now because I would've killed you for entering Luna's bedroom and sitting on her bed." I mumbled against the pillow, shoving Kitsuneme again without looking.
"Fine, fine." He said and went to sit at the computer chair.
Neither of us spoke for a few minutes as I waited for my head to stop spinning.
"What's the plan?" I asked after a few moments of silent recovering, I got up into a sitting position. The spinning was disappearing.
"I'll take out your soul and seal her body, just tell me when you're ready." He said spinning around on the computer chair. Watching him made me sick again so I looked away.
"I'm ready, let's just go." I said.
He looked at me once and then flew towards the bed. "Lie down and put on the blankets, we'll have to create the illusion that she's sleeping in case someone comes up to check on her." He said and I unfolded the red blanket and covered Luna's body with it feeling snug.
He put two fingers on my forehead and mumbled something incoherent. He opened two palms in front of me and I put my two hands in them. He pulled me and I was flying with him feeling like I was as light as a feather. He carried my weight by my shoulder and my feet were on top of his. We were floating on top of Luna's bed and when I looked back down at it I was shocked to see Luna sleeping there, breathing evenly.
I looked at Kitsuneme in surprise, "How is she sleeping?"
He grinned boyishly at me, "It's an illusion, technically her body is soulless but it's preserved so that you can return."
I was amazed, and a bit envious I admit. I couldn't even fly and yet this boy could do such remarkable things.
We flew out the window with Kitsuneme still supporting most of my weight. I didn't know where we were going, it was dark and everything looked unfamiliar to me. As we continued flying I started getting a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. After a while I recognized the familiar street that would take us to the road of Gakuen Alice and just as I predicted we were standing in front of the school minutes later. The gate was locked and their was security everywhere, I saw security guards patrolling, each taking turns walking the perimeter of the school, which normally would've intimidated me even in my angel body but having Kitsuneme by me gave me an eerie sense of relief and protection.
Kitsuneme looked at me once and then flew over the gate and went straight towards a large building towards the left of the high school where classes were held. I didn't know where we were when Kitsuneme stopped and perched on top of a tree next to the building. We were parallel to a window and I could make out what was inside, I peeked in to see a large bed with blue covers, a white carpet, and a familiar lava lamp that I was sure I had seen somewhere before. I sat next to where Kitsuneme was standing at the corner of the thick branch and realized that we were in front of the boys' dorms remembering the building from when I dropped Natsume off. I waited for what seemed like hours unmoving; I hoped for the life of me that Natsume was sleeping, that he was far away from reality and dreaming of another place or a different world, and not planning the midnight escape that I was waiting for.
After what seemed like a million years, I finally turned to Kitsuneme and saw him watching the window like a statue, every muscle in his body seemed to be tense, his jaw was clenched and his eyes were fixed on the window in front of him. He was sure that Natsume would be coming. I looked back once and got up ready to drag Kitsuneme out of here if I had to. I was starting to feel like pervert standing in front of the boys' dorms.
But right when I got up and turned towards Kitsuneme, I heard a silent thump, almost like someone had jumped. I turned around only to come face to face with red eyes. He was a hairbreadth away; if I moved an inch closer our noses would touch. He didn't see me, he couldn't see me, and that, to me, was the worst part.
I wonder back to that day sometimes, what would've happened if I had stopped him? If I had shown him that I was right here, that he shouldn't go, that I believed in him and he wasn't the person that he was being. If only I had told him I was watching and what he was doing or was about to do would break me apart.
Instead I just stood there, shocked. My heart was thumping loudly into my ears, I was afraid that Kitsuneme was able to hear it. Stop it, I told myself. I backed a step away to put distance between Natsume and me, but it was unnecessary because he had jumped down from the trees. He jumped from four stories. There wasn't even a sound as his feet hit the ground as sly and cautious as a black cat.
Kitsuneme looked at me and I snapped my gaze towards him from the ground where Natsume had landed perfectly. Good to know he was putting his training into action. Kitsuneme took my hand this time and followed Natsume, flying a few feet above the boy's head.
I didn't know if I should be scared or impressed by the sly way Natsume dodged the security around the school. When we reached the gate, I saw him walk backwards a few feet away from the gate. I had no idea what he was doing until he started running at full speed towards the gate and jumped over it landing soundlessly on the ground. His actions were so coordinated and smooth that I couldn't help being impressed even though what he was doing was completely stupid and very reckless.
We continued to tail him, flying right above him as he turned sharp corners and tip toed through alleys. I felt myself get more anxious with this troublesome boy's every step. He walked for a few more minutes until he finally came to a stop in a narrow alley at the side of some abandoned building. I watched horror struck as I spied men in the narrow pathway, I heard them talking before Natsume reached them in the middle of the alley.
"Where is he?!" Someone whispered sharply.
"He said he was on his way; calm down will you? We're fine, he'll be here soon, and you know he's not the kind to skip out." Someone with a scratchy voice replied.
There were a few more whispers that I didn't catch. I looked at Kitsuneme with fear evident in my eyes. I knew wherever this was going was bad. Nothing good lurked in dark corners and alleys.
Natsume walked towards them slowly, his face blank of any emotion. But when I looked closer at his features, I noticed something in his eyes. They were wild, ravenous; they didn't look like the eyes of a normal seventeen year old boy and they certainly were not the eyes of this boy that I thought I knew.
"Finally! Do you know how late you are?" A bald guy with sunglasses asked as he came into my view. Ok being bald and mean was one thing, but wearing sunglasses at night? This was a whole new level of evil. I was starting to think that bald guys' were out to get me.
"I got hung up doing something." Natsume replied nonchalantly and put his hands in his pockets as he kept walking ignoring the trio who were waiting for him.
"You know Kunouji doesn't like waiting." Someone from behind the bald guy said.
"Well I'm here now." And with that Natsume walked purposely towards the side of the long narrow pathway silencing everyone.
I followed him as he turned and pulled open a door in the side of the building using a key he fished out of his pocket. If it weren't for Kitsuneme's hold on me, I probably wouldn't have continued tailing this boy as I could guess what was probably coming next.
Natsume threw open the door and entered the building, the trio following behind him. They shut the door once they entered. I looked towards Kitsuneme and then the shut door. Kitsuneme simply dragged me in, floating through the metallic door.
I was appalled by what I saw. Sturdy, tattooed, missing limbs, it was like something right out of a movie. There were more bald heads, some Mohawks and some that had hair longer than mine; they had tattoos dominating every inch of their muscular arms and one I noticed had it on the side of his face. They were big, not the attractive muscular but the disgusting, scary buff kind. There was garbage everywhere, and there was a muggy smell in the room.
The room was small, it was dark and the only light that came was from a bulb at the front of the room. There were chairs everywhere where men sat unaligned; it seemed like a meeting of sorts.
I looked towards Kitsuneme to get some sort of explanation for all of this but he was looking at the guy with a tattoo on his face. I followed his gaze and heard him talk to Natsume.
"You're late." He simply greeted.
"I got caught up." Natsume answered and went to take a seat at the front where more chair were put unaligned.
"Did you bring a ride?" I realized that this tattoo face had an accent, but I couldn't place the country, it wasn't strong, just a few letters that were pronounced differently.
Natsume frowned when the question was asked and my heart started up again, working twice as fast as it already was. But my reaction was unneeded because tattoo face simply smiled and offered his own ride, to which Natsume nodded, his face revealing nothing.
"Alright then, it's settled. Does everybody know the plan?" Tattoo face asked. And in return he got a sea of nods from the room.
I watched as everybody evacuated the room, pushing and shoving to get out. Natsume and the guy with a Tattoo were the last to leave. They locked the building on their way out and Kitsuneme and I followed them flying above.
They all went to a park next, where I saw a line of motorcycles standing next to each other. It seemed like this was the ride Natsume and Tattoo Face were talking about, as they both went to sit on a shiny red bike away from the rest. Tattoo sat first to drive and Natsume sat behind him putting his arms around Tattoo's torso.
Something clicked in my brain, something that I knew of the minute I saw Natsume walking through that narrow pathway. Motorcycles, dark alleys, tattoos. This was a gang. This is a gang and Natsume is part of it. I felt my world break piece by piece but held it together by some glue of hope; I needed to know what Natsume's part in all this was.
Natsume and Tattoo face drove and sped through the road and the rest followed behind them. It was now clear who the leader was.
And as we had all night, we followed Natsume once more. I watched Natsume as he sat behind Tattoo face, his face emotionless but his eyes gave away his wildness. They were foreign, not the eyes of the boy I love. I had seen that look in them before, it was when we were little and his parents hit him. I was standing in the door way when it happened, I watched as they yelled at him for pushing someone in the playground. They didn't know that he did it because the boy he pushed was hurting me and stealing my toys. Natsume had done it for me and his parents didn't even give him a chance to say so, they were worried on how badly this would affect their reputation in society when people found out how wild and astray their son was. He was really hurt and I saw a scary look in his eyes as he left through the door passing by me. His parents were barely home and the rare chances that they were, they would be caching up on other work or planning their next move, not sparing a glance to their son.
I was a coward then, so instead of explaining Natsume's actions to his parents, I went home crying. I cried and told the story to my mother who went to explain it over when I continuously pestered her. She was disappointed in me for not explaining it myself but I was scared when I saw how they treated Natsume.
I did go out to find Natsume afterwards and brought him home. But then it was because of that event that our moms became close friends and his relationship with his parents improved so we put that behind us, but I never did forget the ravenous look he had in his eyes.
It was much worse now, it didn't seem like an apology from his dad or a hug from his mom would help him right now. Although I wonder where they were right now or if they knew that their son joined a gang.
Tattoo face drove through a small town and stopped inside, he got off his bike and Natsume followed. One by one all the members got off, stopping their motorcycle in a single file line on the road. I watched as Natsume took out a match stick and gave it to Tattoo face. He lighted the fire and threw it at the Ramen shop at the side of the road. The fire caught the cloth that was draped under the sign that said Misa's Ramen Noodles. The fire spread and extended to the wood which made a creaking sound as the fire burned it. Tattoo face grinned sickeningly and Natsume looked pleased. I was disgusted.
I looked at Kitsuneme but he was looking at Tattoo Face again. I took my hand away from his grip and fell to the ground without his hold keeping me afloat seven feet above ground. If I was alive I would've broken my feet. I ran to the shop to make sure their was no one inside.
I was about to go inside the ramen shop to stop the spreading fire when someone grabbed my arm, I turned to see angry green eyes.
"What are you doing?" Kitsuneme asked me, mad.
"I have to see if anyone is inside." I told him and slipped my arms from him.
"No, you don't." He said grabbing my arms again.
I looked at him irritably now, "Let go, I'm already dead, I won't die twice." I said through my teeth.
"I can feel it if there is a human soul inside." He told me as his hair started falling in his eyes.
I stopped resisting and turned to look at Natsume then. Did he know too? I watched as an old man came out of a house beside the shop. He looked at his shop and fell to his knees. A young boy who couldn't be past twelve and a middle age woman came in after him and gaped at the burning ramen shop.
The middle age woman went and knelt beside the old man while the boy clenched his jaw and looked towards the large number of men standing beside the burning shop.
"You!" He said looking at Natsume.
"Hello there. You must be little Youichi, I heard you caused some trouble for my member here." Tattoo face said in a sickeningly sweet voice.
"What did you…you..you burned the shop!?" Youichi ignored Tattoo face and talked to Natsume struggling for coherent words.
People started coming out of their houses seeing the commotion. I watched as they gasped in horror when they saw the burning shop.
I could tell this was what Tattoo face was waiting for. An audience. Youichi charged for Natsume his hand forming into a fist, my heart was throbbing for this little boy who was half of Natsume's size. Natsume dodged his punches and blocked his kicks. He threw a single punch to the side of his face and Youichi staggered back and fell.
He got back up and wiped his eyes before he charged again but this time Tattoo face took over kicking him right in the stomach. Others took over hurting the little boy and I spied tears coming out of the boy's eyes. He was trying to hold them back.
I watched as someone hit him with a wooden stick on the head, another punched him square in the jaw. I saw a knife before Kitsuneme came in front of me. I pushed him away aware that tears were running down my eyes. I watched as they brought the knife back aiming at the boy's shoulder. Kitsuneme put his hand over my eyes and wrapped his arms over my waist pressing my back to his chest. I didn't even hear a sound come out of the young boy's lips.
"Ok, Ok. Enough, we don't want murder on our hands," Tattoo face said and then I heard a whimper escape from the little boy's broken body. I struggled against Kitsuneme my tears coming down hard.
When he finally took his arms off me and released my eyes, I looked to see that the middle aged woman and old man had stood up and were watching with horror in their eyes. They were probably related to this recklessly courageous boy.
"But Boss, we didn't even break a rib." I saw a guy to Natsume's left say. And yes, he was bald. With sunglasses.
Natsume walked towards the boy who lay on the floor trying to get up using his scrawny arms. Natsume put one foot on top of the boy and I heard a sickening snap before Natsume lifted his foot and went back to his place next to Tattoo Face's side not sparing the boy another glance.
I watched as the little boy cried out in pain no longer able to hold it in with tears and blood streaming down his face. He didn't try to get up again.
Tattoo Face looked pleased and slapped Natsume lightly on the back. Oh how I would love to give him a slap on his retarded tattoo.
He looked up at his audience which had multiplied hearing the screams of the broken boy. He smiled at them.
"Let this be a lesson to all of you the next time you try doing anything against any of us." Tattoo Face said and went back to sit on his motorcycle.
Natsume followed and sat behind him while the others slowly dispersed and took a seat on their bikes. I watched as the middle aged woman and old man ran to the young boy crying and yelling for someone to call a police but everyone stayed frozen on their spot until the gangsters all zoomed out of view one by one following the man with the tattoo on the side of his face and a red eyed boy sitting behind him.
**(^)**
I didn't sleep that night, every time I closed my eyelids I saw Youichi's broken body laying on the floor bloodied. I didn't go back to Luna's body knowing I would have to sleep since the human body needed nourishment to function properly; I stayed in my own body all night reliving the screams and cries of the twelve year old boy I saw being tortured by full grown men.
When morning came I went into Luna's body and changed into the Alice Academy's uniform, I brushed my teeth and remembered to take extra care of Luna's hair this time as I recalled Sumire's comment of just how important Luna's hair was to her. I straightened it and put a butterfly clip to the side of her hair and made my way downstairs in a sort of daze. It was Thursday, which meant school, which meant Natsume, which meant gang, which meant broken boy, which meant…you get the idea. I ate French toast and drank orange juice to swallow it down. I didn't care if this girl had an eating disorder or not, I needed my nutrients if I was going to face Natsume.
I saw Kitsuneme in front of the school as I walked inside the gate with Sumire beside me. She was coming back today after finally catching up on her sleep and finishing all her assignments. She was giving me a weird look throughout breakfast and a little while ago when I had said goodbye to Garnet, the driver, whose name I found out when Sumire called him by it after breakfast to drop us off to school.
I told Sumire I'll be right in and she gave me yet another weird look before she let it go and walked to class. Kitsuneme had been looking at me with mixed emotions since he brought me back last night and I was really getting tired of it.
"Just say it." I told him.
"What?" He said looking away.
"Whatever it is you've wanted to say all night." I said exasperated.
The green eyed angel looked at me for a second and then turned his eyes to the floor, "I'm sorry; I should've just told you what he's been doing, it wasn't right to let you see that." He said looking at the floor. Was he feeling guilty for what Natsume did?
"Its fine, I wouldn't have believed you if you told me. I'm fine, don't worry about it." I said and made my way inside as he followed behind me. I stopped and turned around to face him again.
"Can I ask for a favor?" I asked him.
He smiled, "Anything."
"Do you think you could find me information on that guy with a tattoo on his face?" I asked him hoping it wasn't too much.
"Sure, I'll have it for you when you get back from school." And with that Kitsuneme flew off into the sky.
I walked inside feeling less confident without Kitsuneme beside me. I made contact with amethyst eyes again. Hotaru held my gaze and I stared back not knowing what else to do. She broke it off when the teacher entered and I made my way up to sit next to Natsume who, of course, was sleeping.
"Nonoko Ogasawara."
"Here."
"Luna Koizumi."
"Here," I answered.
"Natsume Hyuga."
No answer.
"Natsume Hyuga?" The teacher said looking to the person at my left.
I saw Ruka shake Natsume from the corner of my eye and watched as Natsume got up and raised his hand a little muttering a "here," and then putting his head back on his arms.
The teacher went on with the attendance not questioning Natsume's sleeping in his class. I was getting mad now; I looked to my left to see him sleeping soundlessly. Watching his sleeping face I could hardly tell that this was the same boy I saw last night. But it was him and I had no doubt that what I saw was real no matter how bizarre last night was.
I poked him. I poked his perfect mane of shiny black hair as hard as my index finger would let me. He stirred and turned his face to my side and cracked an eye open, he's eyebrows furrowed angrily and his lips were formed into an irritated line. When he saw me, he blinked and yawned.
"Oh, it's Cleopatra." He said getting up and stretching his arms above his head.
I was speechless as I watched him stretch and yawn sleepily, how could someone so innocent be so cruel and conniving? Was he suffering from double personality disorder?
I stared at him at a loss of words. How was I supposed to act again? How did I act before I found out what his nightly routines were?
"What? Already charmed by my good looks? Are we moving on from the friend stage then?" He said resting his chin on his hands, his head was faced towards the front of the classroom but he was looking at me from the corner of his eye. Irritatingly perverted boy was one thing but flirting or even talking a girl like that? Natsume's personality had taken a leap.
"Don't flatter yourself. You're not that good looking." I managed to answer back looking at the board. I couldn't let him see any difference in my behavior.
"Oh? So you weren't ogling?" He said raising his eyebrows.
"Who said I was looking at you? I was…admiring Ruka." I fumbled looking at his red eyes.
It was hard to concentrate when I looked at him; I was starting loose my train of thought when I gazed into his crimson eyes. I am so pitiful I thought to myself and mentally shook my head.
"Well pity Ruka's not into blondes." I heard him say while I tried to look at everything but his eyes. What a nice color the walls were. I had never seen such a perfect shade of white.
"I'm not?" I heard Ruka say with a questionable tone and felt myself smile at the board.
"I never said I was interested, is it so wrong for a girl to simply admire good looks?" I asked looking at him resting his chin on his arms and his eyes fixed on the board. He was talking to me but I could tell that it was only because he found the conversation more interesting then whatever equation the teacher was writing on the board.
"No, you're allowed to admire my beautiful face all you want." I heard him reply.
I sighed loudly. There was no point arguing with him, he was as stubborn as a mule. I tried again to picture the boy I saw last night only to realize that he was becoming blurred and I was having a hard time believing that it really was Natsume I saw. Maybe it was his evil twin brother.
I heard a lazy yawn escape Natsume, "Why are you always sleepy? Do you not get enough sleep at night?" I asked him as subtly as I could.
He looked at me and then looked away quickly when I turned to meet his eyes. Why doesn't he ever look me straight in the eye?
"No, my nights are…busy, sleep doesn't come to me after passionate nights." He answered me looking at the board again with a smirk etched onto his perfect lips.
I stared at him, was he going to tell me the truth if I asked? "Busy with what?" I asked suspicion entering my voice.
"Why don't you come to my room tonight and I'll show you." He said smirking at the board. What? He was revealing he was part of a gang?
"You'll show me? Why can't you tell me?" I asked a bit confused turning my head to look at him.
He simply stared at me like I had grown another head.
"Fine. What time?" Was he really going to explain what I saw last night?
He raised an eyebrow at me and I looked to see Ruka blushing furiously and staring at me with his mouth agape.
What?
Natsume looked at me but didn't make eye contact. "I've been wondering for a while now Cleopatra, but could it be that you're a complete idiot?"
"I am not an idiot," I said defensively looking at him while he looked away from my gaze again. He turned his head to Ruka who was giving me a sheepish smile. They had always been like this, Natsume would say something sketchy and I would reply only for him and Ruka to laugh about it as though they were hiding some sort of secret. I hated it. And I still do.
I didn't have much time to ponder on it though, as the bell rang and they both left to their next class with me packing my textbook and notebooks in my bag. Before Ruka left he offered me to join him, Natsume, and a few friends for lunch to which I accepted happily at the same time Natsume declined readily. Ruka laughed an easy laugh and told me that he would come pick me up for lunch and exited the classroom after Natsume.
I smiled to myself as I made my way to English class. I had this class with Hotaru. I couldn't find the guts to sit next to her yesterday but I decided I would do it today. When I entered the classroom I was happy to see that she was sitting alone scribbling furiously on her notebook.
I walked stiffly to her chair and nervously sat down next to her. She had turned so much more beautiful in the span of a single year. Her hair was layered more and she had let her bangs grow longer to frame her face. She heard me sit next to her and turned her head to look at me. She looked me up and down as if she was analyzing one of her robots.
I smiled at her in the friendliest way I could without making it looked forced. "Hi, I'm M-Luna, Do you mind if I sit next to you?" I asked politely.
"Yes." And with that she turned back to her notebook.
Okay. So she wants me to move? I decided to pretend I didn't hear her talk and took my English notebook out of my bag grabbing a purple pen from my pouch. I felt her look at me and I turned. When our eyes met she pointed her thumb behind her where an empty desk sat. Way to be difficult Hotaru.
I shook my head not trusting myself to speak. She narrowed her eyes at me and I was scared she would pull out her baka gun. Hold your ground Mikan; she'll back off if you show your stubbornness.
I smiled again and turned to my notebook to doodle furiously and ignore her icy glares.
"Oi." I heard her say.
I thought of ignoring it but remembered she was armed with a lethal weapon so I turned to her reluctantly.
"Yes?" I smiled forcibly.
"Move." She pointed to the desk again. Why wasn't the teacher here yet?
"I don't want to." I said and gulped.
"I won't ask twice," she said dangerously.
"Can't we be friends?" Why was everyone being so difficult?
"I only make acquaintances. And they have to be something special." She said practically challenging me to deny her.
"I'm special." I said stupidly. She just stared at me. I didn't know what to do, she had always been the ice queen and not even I had completely melted her stone heart.
"I'm rich." I tried.
"So am I." She said back.
"I'm…pretty." Way to sound shallow.
"Are you saying I'm not?" She asked raising a delicate eyebrow.
"No! No! You're gorgeous." I exclaimed.
Should I just move? I really wanted to tell her it was me right now but she wouldn't believe me knowing how much of a realist this girl was.
"I'm really loyal…I'll always be there for you…or something…" I couldn't find anything to say anymore.
Her eyes flashed for a second and I thought I saw hurt in them before she masked it.
"You're saying you'll never leave me?" She asked her eyes hard.
"Uh, yeah?" It wasn't meant to come out as a question but I was confused by the sudden change in her.
"Then you're a liar. Because people always leave, there is no such thing as loyalty in this world." She said and turned her head towards the board pretending that I didn't exist. I took that as my cue to end the conversation, but I didn't move back a seat like she wanted me to.
I was wrong, I was dead wrong when I thought that everything was alright here. Natsume had become a gangster; he spent his nights torturing innocent people, while my best friend shut herself off from the world and refused to befriend anyone only because she was scared to loose someone again.
I put my head down willing the world to bring me back to life. There are so many powerful emotions that humans can feel, colorful, beautiful and some tragic. When you die, you loose that, you don't get to experience anger or sadness, jealousy and envy is lost to you so that all you do feel is contentment. I realized now that there was a feeling so strong that it can descend space and time even. It came to my dead heart and consumed my bodiless soul. Regret. Deep and powerful, it's shaking my very core. I regret leaving my life, I regret dieing, I regret not loving my friends enough, and I know that I will regret leaving this world a second time.
A/N: Review?