John woke to find someone's hand touching his still restrained wrist, he was just about to open his eyes to discover who that person was when he heard the familiar clacking of heels against the infirmary floor.

Elizabeth faltered slightly upon seeing the man before her. The once strong, resilient man who had saved her life more times than she could remember, was now lying in an infirmary bed, wasting away, and she was at a complete loss as to what to do to help him. She lifted her eyes away from John, to meet with Carson's clearly exhausted features. The man had been running himself ragged, blaming himself for John's current state.

"Carson, how is he?"

The pressure on his wrist released before Carson replied, "Not good lass. It's been three days, he wont eat, wont talk, hell he wont even acknowledge my presence. Practically everyone on base has been by to see him, but he just looks straight through them as though they aren't there, that is when he's not asleep. He's extremely weak, he was already dangerously underweight from his stay on Branalia."

"Carson, he can't go on like this, we can't just let him waste away."

"I know, I was hoping that it wouldn't come to this but if he doesn't eat anything by tomorrow I'll have to insert a feeding tube. I really don't want to, but he's going to die if we don't do anything."

Elizabeth stood taken aback by what she'd just heard, there was no way that they could lose him, Atlantis needed him. "Do what you have to do, we need him"

Carson sighed, "Aye if only we could convince him of that, he's just completely given up."

"We can't let him just give up, he's a fighter, not a quitter, he's fought so many times when others would have given up and won, this time's going to be no different."

"Aye lass, maybe that's the problem, he's had to fight for so much since coming here to Atlantis, even before coming to Atlantis, maybe this is just one fight too many."

"I hope not, Carson, I really do." She took hold of John's hand in her own, and he could feel her breath as she whispered in his ear. "Your not a quitter Colonel, you hear me, we're going to get you through this, you're not alone. Whether you like it or not, we're all here to help you."

John wanted to scream and shout, to tell them he didn't need of want their help, he just wanted to be left alone, but he didn't even have the energy to open his eyes, let alone anything else, and found himself drifting back to sleep.

"Elizabeth lass, while you're here, I've been meaning to ask you, if you've seen Rodney, he hasn't been in to see John since, well, you know."

Elizabeth was taken aback by Carson's question, usually when John was in the infirmary, Rodney was almost a permanent fixture, keeping John company.

"Now that you mention it, I haven't seen him since our meeting about John."

Carson frowned, "That's what I was afraid of. It seems that no one's seen Rodney since that meeting, he hasn't been to the mess hall, and no one's seen him in the labs. I know he's taken all this pretty hard, and probably just wants some space, but I'm worried about him. The last thing we need is him in here after collapsing from exhaustion, or hypoglycaemia."

"Elizabeth tapped her earpiece, "Dr McKay." Silence, "Dr McKay please respond." Looking to Carson, the concern evident on her face, she replied, "He's not answering his radio, he could be in trouble. I'm going to go to the control room, see if I can find him with the internal sensors." She took one last look at John before turning to leave.

"Keep me posted," Carson shouted as she left, before looking forlornly down at his patient. "See lad, you may not believe it but we need you, this place is falling apart without you."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rodney had lost all track of time, minutes had turned to hours, hours to days, well at least it felt like days ago, that his friend, the best friend he had ever had, had begged him to let him die, and he had no idea why, none of them did, Sheppard had just snapped, 'breakdown' Beckett had said. At that moment Rodney had realised that he was out of his depth, he dealt with machines not people. Give him a broken ancient doodad and he could fix it in a flash, but when faced with the prospect of a broken Sheppard, he's been scared witless, realising that he had no idea how to fix him. That's how he found himself here, on one of the farthest points of Atltantis, free from people, free from the inevitable questioning of why he hadn't visited Sheppard, so that he wouldn't have to admit to feeling scared, powerless, useless.

Rodney's stomach churned at the last thought, that's what John would become if Carson couldn't fix him, useless. Like the broken Ancient tools in Rodneys lab, that had no hope of ever working again, were tossed aside, and forgotten about, would the same happen to John, shipped back to Earth, forgotten about.

Realisation dawned on him, that although he may not know how to fix John, the same could be said for most of the Ancient tech when they first arrived, they'd all had to learn through trial and error, and Rodney was a quick learner. Maybe he could fix Sheppard after all, he at least owed him enough to try.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Elizabeth was at her wits end, worrying about her AWOL scientist. It turned out no one had seen him since 'the incident', as she was now referring to it. She had search parties out looking for him, with Zelenka stationed at the internal sensors, but so far all their efforts had proved futile, it was as if Rodney had simply disappeared.

She was a little more than shocked then when she rounded the corner into the infirmary on her way to visit John to find Rodney, slightly dishevelled, sat in the chair next to John's bed, engaged in what Elizabeth could only describe as a staring contest. John lay, hazel eyes staring unblinkingly into Rodney's exhausted blue. Neither one spoke, or even so much as twitched, and Elizabeth found herself compelled to join in, just staring, waiting to see who would blink first, both men being the two most stubborn men she'd ever met, she wouldn't like to put money on the outcome.

She jumped, catching herself before she screamed, as she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I see you found Rodney then," Carson whispered, careful not to reveal their presence.

"Well, he found us. Guess he just needed a little time to himself. I'm just glad he's okay."

"Now that he's back, maybe he can help the Colonel, he trusts Rodney, more than me right now. The fact that he's even acknowledging his presence is a good sign. I don't mean to be rude lass, but maybe you could come back tomorrow, give them time alone to talk."

"Yes, of course. Would you care to join me in the mess for a cup of coffee?"

"Aye, that would be nice. I could use a break."

They glanced across briefly at the two figures on the other side of the infirmary before making their way to the mess.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rodney who had been all too aware of their presence, broke the silence, "Right now that they're gone, I think you owe me an explanation. What the hell was that back there on the balcony?" Rodney had been seething with anger over John's actions and there was no holding back now that he'd started. John, however, lay unmoving staring at Rodney, showing no signs that he had heard him.

"Answer me damn it, we need you, how are we supposed to do this without you."

"You're better off without me, I'm a liability, a danger to Atlantis."

Rodney was fuming now, "Yeah well you keep saying that, but as yet, I've had no proof, all I have is proof to the contrary, proof of how many times you've saved my arse, and the collective arses of everyone in this city."

John turned his head away, and closed his eyes, hoping Rodney would get the message and leave. The next thing he knew, he felt the restraints, still secured around his wrists and ankles being unbuckled. He opened his eyes and turned his head to find Rodney standing by the side of his bed with a wheelchair. He looked at Rodney inquisitively.

"Come on, we're going for a ride", Rodney indicated to the wheelchair.

"I don't think so McKay."

"Look, you want me, and everyone else to leave you alone, right?"

"Yes!" Sheppard snapped

"Well then, you show me why you think you're a danger to Atlantis, and if it's good enough, I'll get everyone to leave you alone."

"You'll let me die?" Sheppard asked disbelievingly.

Rodney winced, before replying, "Yes, I promise", athough he had no intentions of keeping his promise. The whole point of this exercise was to convince John of what everyone else saw when they looked at him, a strong, confident, hero.

"Ok," the reply was so quite it was almost imperceptible. John would agree to Rodney's plan, knowing that Rodney had no intentions of keeping his promise, but John knew that they would all change their minds about him once the truth came out.

Rodney helped John into the wheelchair, John legs having buckled the moment he tried to stand up, Rodney had caught him, and got him into the wheelchair with surprising ease. Rodney was horrified at how light John was, and at how he had been able to feel John's ribs and backbone through the scrub top.

Once Sheppard was settled, Rodney began to wheel him out of the infirmary as fast as he could, aware that Beckett would be back any minute. He felt sorry for the nurse on duty, who had not been around to stop them, knowing that she would be in trouble once Beckett returned, but he really didn't care, he had a job to do, a Colonel to fix.