Programmed Lives – Third Stage
Chapter Twenty Two
Natsuki's hand froze a few centimetres away from Takumi's face as she felt herself going numb, probably because her brain was going in overdrive, as if it was desperately trying to prevent her from feeling the excruciating pain that simple word could cause her.
She swallowed in a futile attempt at steadying herself before putting her hand on Takumi's shoulder. She then shook him as softly as she could.
'Hey,' he said and, seeing her, Takumi started smiling.
'Takumi, sorry, but I think you should go home,' Natsuki said and she was impressed with herself seeing how very normal her voice sounded.
'Er…why?' he asked making Natsuki want to slap him as hard as she could.
'How would you explain to your son that you didn't sleep at home?' she asked instead.
'Ah, right,' he said finally sitting up showing to Natsuki his very naked chest. She had to look away.
'Er…I'm going to take a quick shower,' she said as she climbed out of her bed and ran to the bathroom where, once she stepped into the shower and turned the water on, she felt the first tears coming down, masked by the water.
Five minutes later, and hoping she looked reasonably normal, she found him already dressed, busy in front of the mirror in her room, trying to flatten his hair as much as possible, failing rather miserably.
'My hair is a mess,' he said smiling as she came back into the room.
'It's getting late,' she said pointing at a clock that was hanging from a wall nearby.
'Is it me or you're trying to get rid of me?' Takumi commented with a smirk.
'No, no,' she said and her voice started sounding a little bit higher pitched than usual, 'it's just that I don't want you to get yourself into trouble with Akito,' she explained.
'It's okay, he's an amazingly understanding kid,' Takumi said.
'Yeah, well, let's not test his patience too much, alright?' Natsuki said, mentally adding 'nor mine.'
'Alright. Why don't we go out for dinner tomorrow?' Takumi suggested.
'Dinner?'
'Yeah, Natsuki, I never intended for this to be our only date…' Takumi explained.
'Ah, right…well, tomorrow I can't. It's school day and I'll have loads to do,' Natsuki said and even to herself, that excuse sounded rather pathetic. She could have said she needed to wash her hair and it would probably have sounded a lot better.
'Okay, then, how about Tuesday?' Takumi proposed.
'Er…alright, I'll call you, okay?' she said and she started wishing he'd just go so she could get rid of the knot that was threatening with choking her.
He finally made his way to the apartment's door and, after kissing her softly, he said:
'Thanks for today Natsuki, it's been great.'
Natsuki could only nod for she knew that if she opened her mouth to say anything she would burst into tears, which was exactly what she did as soon as the sound of Takumi's steps faded away.
Holding herself to the corridor's wall, she somehow managed to make her way back into her bedroom and, not even bothering to put on her nightie, she collapsed on her bed and cried herself to sleep on a pillow that still carried his scent.
The next day, Itsuki observed his best friend as the two men drove to the Motorsports Centre for the first day of testing.
'Hey, someone's cheerful this morning,' Itsuki said seeing the huge smile on Takumi's face.
'Yeah,' Takumi said.
'That race was amazing,' Itsuki commented, 'no wonder you're so happy.'
'What?' Takumi asked with a confused expression.
'The race? You know, you versus Keisuke? You, beating the pants off Keisuke for the third time?' Itsuki explained frowning at his friend. He would have started wondering if maybe Takumi was losing his marbles if it wasn't because it was a matter of fact that Takumi was completely nuts.
'Ah, yeah,' he said.
'Uh-oh,' Itsuki said looking at his friend a bit more closely.
'What?'
'A-ha!' Itsuki exclaimed all the sudden, smiling widely as he did so.
'What?' Takumi asked frowning.
'The signs are all there. Oh yes!'
'Itsuki, what in the heck are you talking about?'
'You're lovesick! Ah! You are!' he said sounding almost indecently happy.
'Ah, that,' Takumi said.
'What? You are?' Itsuki said, his smiling quickly fading away as it got replaced by an expression of total disbelief.
'Well…I went out with Mogi…I mean, Natsuki yesterday,' he explained.
'WHAT? REALLY?' Itsuki shouted and Takumi just nodded, 'you need to tell me everything!'
Takumi, being strangely extrovert, explained to Itsuki all about his date with Natsuki, including the fact that he had felt that she was kicking him out of her house.
'Oh, she was just worried about Akito,' he said refusing to believe that Natsuki would actually want to get rid of Takumi.
'Yeah well, I'm actually looking forward to seeing her again,' Takumi said.
'You are?' Itsuki asked.
'Yes, I don't know why, but I felt…I don't know how I felt but I kind of liked being back with her, we spent several hours talking like we used to, you know, before,' Takumi replied trying to express his feelings in the best possible way.
'That's very good. Takumi, you deserve to be happy so don't feel guilty if you are,' Itsuki said getting unusually serious.
'I know, I'm working on that too,' Takumi said sincerely.
The two men finally arrived at the circuit and, as they parked their car, they realised that there was a lot more movement than usual.
In fact, there were several vans near the track as well as a whole lot of people: the old Kirin Takahashi Racing team.
'Hey Takumi!' Matsumoto said seeing Takumi there.
'Hi guys,' he just said waving at everyone.
'This is great! We're all back together!' Kenta said smiling happily making Takumi smile too seeing that Keisuke's old protégé had not changed a single bit.
'Alright people, let's get to work,' Ryosuke said, 'unfortunately I don't have that much time because I have a meeting just before lunch and Akiko won't be happy if I don't show up.'
That said, everyone started working and soon, Takumi was able to climb into the Mazda prototype they were preparing for the race and, after driving around for a couple of laps, he heard Ryosuke's voice over the radio:
'Takumi, you should come in, we need to check something.'
Argh, the team's radio! It had been a long time since he'd heard someone talk to him through it while he was driving.
'Sure, ah, by the way,' Takumi said, 'there's something weird about this engine.'
Ryosuke looked at Fumihiro and Matsumoto and smirked.
'Can you tell me what it is?'
'Yeah, it doesn't feel like a rotary,' Takumi said.
'That's because it's not,' Ryosuke said, 'for the 24 hours the rotaries are not allowed.'
'Why not?' Takumi asked.
'The FIA banned them after the first, and only victory by a rotary engine in Le Mans. They were concerned that it gave an unfair advantage the fact that rotary engines typically last longer than piston ones,' Ryosuke explained.
'Ah, alright, I'm coming in now,' Takumi said.
'Well done Takumi, I was wondering whether you'd be able to notice the difference,' Fumihiro said the minute Takumi got out of the car at the pit lane.
'Well, I'm not that rusty, you know,' Takumi said scratching the side of his head.
'If I hear the word rusty again someone's going to be drinking a lot of high octane,' Keisuke said frowning as he walked towards them.
Everyone started laughing but they stopped when they saw the way Fumihiro was looking at them.
'Hey, what's wrong?' Ryosuke asked his friend.
'Nothing,' he said, 'it's just that, seeing the whole team together, laughing…'
'Oh, our Fumi-chan's getting emotional!' Matsumoto said clearly taking the piss out of poor Fumihiro. That made everyone burst into a fit of laughter all over again.
It felt good being back, Takumi thought as he and Itsuki, who'd been watching their testing session from the grandstand, made their way back to the AE86.
'I'd love to take a spin with that car,' Itsuki said.
'Really? I can ask Ryosuke…'
'No, no! I'd crash it for sure…that thing goes way too fast for me,' Itsuki said putting his hands in front of him, shaking them as he spoke.
Takumi just laughed at him making Itsuki realise that his best friend was indeed almost back to normal.
Four days later, and seeing that she hadn't done so yet, Takumi picked up the phone at home and called Natsuki.
'Hello?' she said answering the phone.
'Hi, it's me,' he said.
'Ah, Takumi…I…was going to call you,' he heard her say and he noticed that her voice sounded a bit more than slightly panicky.
'Yes, well, I was wondering if you'd be free one of these days,' he just said.
'Er…I'm not sure, I'll need to check,' she said.
'Natsuki, is everything alright?' Takumi asked allowing himself to sound as concerned as he was.
'Yes, of course,' she said and the tone she used made Takumi realise she was clearly lying to him, he then heard her say, 'Look, I've got to go now, so I'll talk to you later, okay?'
'Sure,' Takumi replied.
Then, as he hanged up the receiver, he started thinking that there was something fishy in this whole thing and, having learned through experience, he knew that if Natsuki was acting this way, there had to be something very wrong.
'Oh no…' he thought as his head came up with what he thought was the most obvious conclusion: Natsuki had, once more, lied to him. There was no way she was single. After all, it was very hard to believe that such a beautiful woman had not been able to find a boyfriend in all these years…
With that thought in his mind, he grabbed the key of the AE86 and, after making sure his father would stay home to watch over Akito, he drove to the only place he was sure he'd be able to, eventually, see her: the block of apartments where she lived.
He hadn't been parked in front of the building for more than a few minutes when the first drops of rain started falling. For this reason, he was forced to stay in the car until, about an hour later, he saw Natsuki running down the street, probably trying to get home as fast as she could since she wasn't carrying an umbrella. He got out of his car and, not caring whether he got extremely wet, he walked towards her.
'Takumi!' she said out of breath due to all the running she had probably done.
'Natsuki, tell me one thing and, for once, tell me the truth,' he started his voice sounding clipped due to the badly contained anger.
'Takumi…' she said again, and to Takumi, her expression of sheer terror did nothing but confirm his worst suspicions.
'Are you seeing someone else?' he asked.
'W-what?' she stuttered, now looking completely astonished by his question.
'Just answer me!' he exclaimed angrily.
'T-tak…'
'Oh forget it, I'm going home,' Takumi said deciding he really didn't want to know then, as he took a couple of steps back to his car, she said, almost screaming:
'How dare you?'
That made him turn back to face her.
'HOW IN THE HECK DO YOU DARE?' she said now shouting and looking completely out of herself. Takumi had only seen her get this much angry once before: that day at Lake Akina's dock.
'I…'
'It should be me the one getting angry!' she screamed again.
'What?' he finally managed.
'It should be me the one who's mad at you,' she said, lowering her voice as it started to break up into sobs.
'Why?' Takumi asked.
'Why? Takumi…you…' then she walked towards him and, taking his left hand in hers, she said, 'this is why!'
Takumi looked at his own hand and saw his wedding ring there.
'And because on Sunday, after we made love, you said her name, not mine!' she said and even if her voice was shaking badly, Takumi clearly understood what she was telling him.
And he could not have felt any more like a piece of crap.
'What? I…'
'You said her name,' she repeated miserably, 'after we made love, you still said her name.'
'I'm sorry,' he finally said.
'No, I'm the one who's sorry. I thought I could do this…but I can't…'
'Natsuki.'
'Look, you must think you're the only one who thought his world collapsed when your wife died but, try to imagine how I felt when I found out that, after all the years I had been waiting for you, on my own, without allowing myself to fall in love with anyone else, you had had two girlfriends and you had actually married one of them. Takumi, try to imagine how I felt.'
'I didn't make you any promises,' he said.
'I know, and that's why I felt even more idiotic,' Natsuki replied.
'Natsuki, I still can't make you any promises but, know this, I really want to be with you now.'
'What?' Natsuki asked showing her profound disbelief in both her tone and her expression.
'Look, I think I will always love Minami. She was like an angel for me and she's the mother of my son, but I do think I could fall in love with you again. I just need to figure out a few things.'
'Well, when you figure it all out, call me,' she said bitterly.
'No, the point is, I'd like to do that together, with you,' Takumi said looking extremely serious.
'Why?' Natsuki asked.
'Because if I can't make it work with you, I don't think I'll manage with anyone else,' Takumi said sincerely.
Seeing that she wasn't saying anything, Takumi tried again:
'So, what do you say?'
She looked at him for a long while before nodding and, between her tears she said:
'Alright, you win. You always win.'
To be continued…