Hagrid's hut was rather crowded. There was very little space for any of the men that had joined him in his small home. On the table were a few dozen rock cakes and a jug of pumpkin juice and all the furniture had been pushed to the sides of the hut and six chairs—one rather large one—had been laid out in a circle formation.
The five people who had joined Hagrid were; Neville Longbottom, Colin Creevey, Dennis Creevey, Fred Weasley and George Weasley. They were all looking rather anxious and none of them had touched the rock cakes Hagrid had put out.
"Is everyone here?" Neville said, looking about and noting the faces.
Hagrid was the last to sit down and the chair broke beneath him. He quickly stood up. "You'd be best to call everyone generally—in order of the script," he said.
Neville took a roll of parchment from his pocket and began to examine it. "Here is the magical list of all those who were called forward," he stated, "we were the ones selected to perform for Head Master Lupin and his soon-to-be-wife, Tonks."
"Neville, my lad," Hagrid's tone suggested that he was getting impatient, "first tell us what the play is about and then read the names of the actors. Basically, get to the point."
"The play is about marriage," Neville described and Fred and George both made noises as if they were about to puke. "The story tells the most horrific tale and death of Pyramus and Thisbe," at the sound of the word 'death,' the twins had become far more interested.
"A fine play—I promise you that. I once saw it performed by Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore in their youth," Hagrid informed his students, "Now, Neville—call forth the actors. There's a good lad."
"Okay," he rocked backwards on his chair and then steadied himself. "Rubeus Hagrid," he began.
"Ready!" Hagrid exclaimed excitedly, knocking a large flowerpot full of puss onto the floor. "Name who it is I am to be!"
"You, Hagrid, are set to play Pyramus."
"Who is Pyramus?" Hagrid asked, apparently the version he had seen was not as memorable as he had suggested. "A lover? A god? A tyrant …"
"You portray a man who kills himself for love," Neville informed Hagrid.
The giant instantly stepped forward and blocked out most of the light in the room. "I shall die in such a way that even the men will not be able to resist the tears from their eyes! Yet," he paused, "I am far more suited as a tyrant," he stepped forward and one of the floorboards sprung up and Hagrid kicked it down again. Seeing that Neville was not going to condole, Hagrid rested against the wall. "Very well."
"Colin Creevey?" Neville piped.
"Here, Neville!" the boy exclaimed, taking a picture of Neville with a large camera. Neville shielded his eyes apprehensively.
"Colin. You will be performing as Thisbe."
"Oh Goody-o!" Colin smiled a wide toothy grin, "am I to be a wondering knight?"
"Oh, no! You are the person that Pyramus loves," Neville informed him and Colin looked up at Hagrid, raising an eyebrow.
"Hell no!" Colin moaned. "Please don't make me play a woman—look," he said, "I have a beard coming," George Weasley passed him a small box but Neville confiscated it from him instantly.
"Don't worry about it, Colin. You will be wearing a mask and we'll find a spell to change your voice."
Suddenly, Hagrid stepped forward again. "I can hide my face too! Nobody could recognise me," the others looked at him doubtfully, "I can speak in a tiny voice," he demonstrated as he spoke.
"No, Professor Hagrid!" Neville said sternly, "you must play Pyramus and Colin, you have to be Thisbe."
As Colin crossed his arms in a strop, Hagrid said. "Go on then. Continue."
"George Weasley?"
George placed an extremely good but fake spider on his shoulder. "Here, Nev," he cooed.
"George," Neville began, ignoring the spider that was now crawling down the twins leg, "you must play Thisbe's mother."
George purposely chucked the spider at Neville to show that he wasn't happy but he did not cause any problems, instead, he just said in the most feminine voice he could, "I'll have to practise womanly things on somebody," his brother slid away from him.
"Fred Weasley?"
"Not here, Nev," the second twin stated.
"Of course you are," Neville appeared to be cross at his insincere statement.
"Nah. I'm just an illusion. I was never born," he informed Neville who just ignored the comment.
"You will be Pyramus' father and I myself, will be Thisbe's," he looked at the final person in the room. "Dennis, you shall be the lion and I hope that is all the parts sorted," Neville finalised, now bored by the proceedings.
"Do you have a spare copy of the lions part?" Colin asked. "My brother is a bit of an idiot and slow of learning lines."
"He'll do it perfectly. We'll dress him up in the Gryffindor lion and he can walk about. There are no lines—the lion does nothing but roar," Neville informed his younger peer.
Hagrid roared and Dennis quickly crossed his legs. "I would make a perfect lion," he informed them all, "I can roar louder than the real beast itself. I can roar so well that the Head will ask me to do it again!"
Neville spoke up. "And you'd scare all the younger students and he'd have us all expelled, fired and I'm sure he'd find something for you two," he added, pointing in the twins' direction.
"Punish us all!" everyone but Hagrid and Neville complained.
Hagrid looked unhappy at the thought and tried to save himself the part. "Then I will set my voice a challenge and roar so quietly that I could barely be heard. I would purr instead of roar," he informed them.
"Then you'd just look like a glorified pussycat," George announced.
"Hagrid," Neville sighed and spoke cautiously to his Professor, "You cannot play any part other than Pyramus."
"Very well," the giant huffed, "how should I wear my beard?" his large hand ran through the mat of fur, "long? Straight? Short? Tufted? Crumpled?"
"However," Neville told him, "not at all would be good," he added in inaudible whisper.
"And what colour would best suit it? I shall go to Hogsmede and have it done especially. Perhaps blonde or a colour similar to that of the Weasley's?" he continued, "or even, bright purple."
"I'll make you have it all shaved off and then you will be bare faced!"
"Oh, don't make him do that, Neville. You don't know what will jump out of it," Fred pleaded.
Neville nodded. "Well. There are your parts and I think we should hold a rehearsal tomorrow—somewhere that we won't be noticed," he began to think of where they could go, "somewhere in the forest. Hagrid knows his way around there and I'm sure it will be okay just for this once. We don't want other students to see what is going on. If you don't turn up, I'll have you all sent to Azkaban," he joked.
"You'll be perfectly fine in the forest with me," Hagrid stated, "I cannot think of a better place for us to perform!"
"In the darkest depths we will meet—don't forget your wands," Neville reminded them.
"Oh, shut-up, Neville. Your mouth has been going constantly," Hagrid moaned and began to shoe them out of his house.
All of the males except for Hagrid left. Checking from his window that there was no chance of the coming back, Hagrid pulled a large pink umbrella from under the table and began to mumble some very colourful words.