Ron's Worst Nightmares
Focus Lessons
By Pat Squared
Ron knew that he was being buried by an avalanche of his shortcomings.
For the past two weeks, he had been hiding from the world and his guilt at Yamanouchi Mountain. There was more than enough physical training to sate the appetite of any gung-ho US Marine Corps drill instructor.
Hell, the DI in Full Metal Jacket would have a stiffy at the thought of just watching the warm-up sessions.
However, it was Yori and the lesions in meditation, that Ron appreciated and hated the most. The Ron man was all about the action. His video games and missions were all 'bout running around saving the world/kingdom/princess/whatever.
However, he never had to save himself from his own thoughts. Ron lost count of how many times Yori smacked him in the head with the wooden sword to awaken him every time he fell asleep from boredom during the mediation training.
For the hundredth time this night, Ron focused on the candle flame. His hands were on his lap. With a flick of the wrist, Yori made the candle swing.
Focus Ron, clear your mind ...
Focus on the task ...
Inhale ... Hold ... Exhale ...
The candle swung on its path.
Don't concentrate too hard ...
You are the surfer ...
The wave of time may move you, but you determine how you ride the break.
Instinctively Ron knew it was the moment. He threw the dart.
He completely missed the candle.
"You concentrated too hard. It's like touch typing. You don't have to remember where the keys are, but your fingers remember."
Ron never wanted to throw in the towel.
You are a failure. What made you believe that if you tried hard enough that everything will work out for the best?
Didn't your life teach you anything? You were a born a failure? Your life was nothing but a series of failures. You have let down everyone who depended upon you. Now you are wasting Yori's time. Why does she insist on being my friend? Why doesn't she know that she will be hurt, just like mom, Anastasia, Kim?
"Ron, I know that look. I am not going to let you quit."
Christ, she is more determined than Kim.
Yori merely handed him a warm bottle of sake.
"Drink it all. Then we try again."
Yori smiled an eerily familiar smile as Ron drank down the bottle.
"Not enough. Here is another."
Ron drank down another winching at the thought of enduring another hangover during tomorrow's warm-up session.
"Repeat. Every time you fail, you will drink another bottle and we will simply repeat until you die from alcohol poisoning or you succeed.
Ron groaned in misery as he missed the candle again.