Ron's Worst Nightmares

Notice

By Pat Squared

"Mom, come here," Jim yelled, "It's the Marines."

Dr. Anne Possible came down the steps.

"Show the men in. Then take Tim and play outside. No rockets, no explosions, or else."

"Oh mom..."

"Go!"

There were three of them in Marine Corps dress blue uniforms plus a guy dressed in a dark blue navy uniform. Two of the marines were wearing stripes while the other had two silver bars on each one of his shoulders.

"Mrs. Possible, I am Captain Renyard of the Judge Advocate General's Office."

"It's Dr. Possible," Mrs. Possible responded automatically, "I did not graduate med school to be call Misses."

"Sorry ma'am. I am here to inform you that as of December 25, 2010, that your friend, Private Vasilii Boiarskii is missing in action and presumed dead."

Dr. Possible looked at the men weirdly.

"Captain, I don't know what to say to you ..."

"Please listen, Staff Sergeant Munoz and Corporal Taylor is here to walk you through the legal paperwork and explain to you all the beneifts. Father Rideau, a US Navy Chaplain, is here if you need a grief counselor and will help you coordinate any memorial services."

"But ..."

"I know that the death of a close friend may be."

Dr. Possible turned red in the face and yelled at the officers.

"Captain ... shut up. I do not know anyone who is currently in the Marine Corps. I do not know anyone named Vasilii Boiarskii. You got the wrong address... Typical military imbeciles wasting you time and my tax dollars."

The stress of dealing with a single pregnant daughter with wild mood swings took its toll and now it was Dr. P's turn to vent.

It took five minutes of Dr. Possible swearing up a storm, before Staff Sergeant Munoz summoned up any courage. He quickly looked down at his clipboard and pulled out a letter. The captain was being battered by a petite redhead.

"Ma'am, Private Boiarskii listed your name as his next of kin and as the beneficiary of his GI insurance. I have the originals if you care to check. Also, he had left a just in case letter among his gear. It is addressed to you."

Munoz handed her the letter.

Dr. Anne Possible opened the letter and started reading:

Dear Mrs. Dr. P,

I wish that I was the fly on the wall when the notification committee paid you a visit. I hope that you didn't scream at them as it was my fault for any bureaucratic snafus.

If you are reading this, it means that I am trying to find my place in the afterlife. Being baptized Protestant then circumcised and Bar Mitzvah'd, I don't which afterlife I would end up stuck in.

I enlisted in the Corps under the name that my real mother gave to me - Vasilii Alexovich Boiarskii. It did not have the baggage that came with the Stoppable name. It was so convenient for me when I needed to run away from my mistakes. The only people who knew the name and the fact I was adopted was the folks who did my background checks, my step-parents (the Stoppables), and now you.

I have looked upon you as my second mother and as such, I chose you to be my listed next of kin. My step-parents and I had some issues that I prefer would remain private since the dead have no need to air dirty laundry.

However, there are some things I need to correct so I could rest in peace:

I ran away because I destroyed fifteen years of trust. Kim needed a friend and I was anything but.

If anyone blames themselves for my death, STOP! I was the one dumb enough to volunteer for the Marines and then even dumber to volunteer for combat engineer training. If I blown myself to pieces playing around with explosives, it's my fault, no one else's.

I have set up a charitable trust fund with a portion of my Naco royalties. In the event that I am dead, please contact - Atty. Kager Gerona; Castle, Davidson, Gerona, Johnson, Small, & Whittle, LLP; 20750 Ventura Blvd.; Ste. 913; Woodland Hills; CA 91364; Telephone 818-555-6500. Use it to fund medical and scientific research, starting with nano-bots to unclog all those arteries clogged by the processed cheese of my Naco.

Tell the twins to break the news gently to Rufus. He has been a friend and I hope that you will take him into your family.

Tell Kim that I am sorry that I messed up and that I deserve all her anger and hate. I died knowing that my life was not worth living once I lost her love and respect.

I looked for my death and I guess that it finally found me.

The former buffoon,

Ron Stoppable

Dr. Possible read the letter in silence. The four military men kept their mouth shut as Dr. Possible wondered how to tell Kim that the father of her unborn child is dead.

She set down the leather and looked at the four men.

"Tell me how he died? I am a surgeon so don't spare me any details."