oOo
"Bella…"
Edward tried to pull her in his arms, shocked at the hurt and regret on her face. She wouldn't let him, crossing her arms in front of herself.
"You didn't include it," she repeated, sadly shaking her head.
"I wanted to," he said, wishing she would look at him. "But it felt too personal."
Bella was silent, but he could practically feel her sadness.
"Edward!"
It was his agent's voice.
"You need to meet these people, Mr. and Mrs. Goldman. They came all the way from Toronto to be here tonight."
He had a balding man and his pudding-faced wife by his side. They were grinning like idiots.
"Mike, can you just give me a minute? I need to…"
"Edward," Michael said in a low voice, his expression tense. "You've got to meet these lovely people." His eyes conveyed the urgency of his request.
"Bella." Edward's stomach was black and tight as he said the words. "Just a couple of minutes, okay? I need to say hello."
She bit her lip and nodded without looking at him.
She turned away.
.
Edward didn't get the chance to talk to Bella. It wasn't that he didn't try, but Bella simply didn't let him, finding ways to avoid him each time he came near her.
Waiters circled with trays of nibbles and more drinks, speeches were made and spirits were high, but the star of the evening was tight-lipped – in more than one sense. After a glass of champagne for the toast that Carlisle made, Edward stopped drinking.
He was already buzzed from the drinks he'd had earlier. He knew that he needed to talk to Bella, and that it was crucial for him to be as clear as possible.
Watching her while he talked – again – to Mr. and Mrs. Goldman, he found her in a corner with Alice and Leah. Her friend was listening to what Bella was saying, lightly shaking her head.
Bella looked so sad, and so fragile, and it made him feel horrible to know that he had caused her pain. It made him think of the night at the ballet, and the time she had asked him to her parents' party and he had declined.
Why did he have this compulsion to drive her away? The best thing in his life, his love, his everything. What made him so self-destructive?
He did not deserve her. She was pure and beautiful and perfect.
His heart was heavy.
Bella looked up and their eyes met across the room, and he took a deep breath.
He might not deserve her, but she deserved nothing but love and adoration.
He knew he had made a mistake, two mistakes actually. He'd been drunk when he'd made his decision, and he'd been misguided by his own possessiveness and childish jealousy.
She must think he was ashamed of her for not including her painting. She was always doubting her beauty and her body, and he, idiot that he was, had probably made it worse with his stupid decision.
All of a sudden, it was clear, and Edward felt a rush of adrenaline.
"Excuse me," he told the Goldmans, "There's something important I forgot to do."
oOo
What do you think it is that he forgot?
Thank you for your reviews to the last chapter, many of you surprised me by saying you weren't mad with Edward! Your words mean so much to me, and I'm eternally grateful to have the best readers in the world.
Another note: I am posting this early because I'm going to have a wisdom tooth extracted today, and I'm not sure I'll get a lot of writing done the next few days. Wish me luck!
Hugs and kisses,
your
harperpitt