Chapter Three-

Marissa was surprised to see Alex, more than surprised. When Alex left Newport, she thought it was for good, Marissa thought she'd never see the beautiful blonde again, especially when Alex didn't even say goodbye.

Marissa could remember the day she walked into the apartment they'd shared to see all her things packed neatly into boxes and bare furniture all crowding the living room. She'd talked to the land lord, asked him if he knew where Alex had gone, but he just said that Alex had woken him up at 3:00 in the morning, told him that she was leaving and sold him all her furniture.

Marissa was used to people just leaving, had dad, her sister, Ryan, but Alex leaving without even saying goodbye, it really hurt her, more than she cared to admit.

If she were truthful with herself, she never wanted to break it off with Alex, but Alex was right, she didn't fit in, Marissa's world was all rich, stuck up kids and they annoyed Alex more than they did Sandy Cohen.

Marissa understood why they ended it, Alex was right in saying that she had feelings for Ryan, she always would, she'd always love him in a way that was complicated even to her, but she really had loved Alex. There was something between them that she needed, something that she had with Ryan the first time, but was missing now, that thing that she couldn't quite put her finger on.

She hadn't meant to collapse into Alex's arms, she was just hurting, a wave of emotion had come over her, something she hadn't meant to happen, but it did.

She cried into Alex's, warm, soft and welcoming shoulder. She didn't really know how long she stayed that way, it could've been seconds, hours, four sunlit Newport days, all she knew was, when she pulled back, she felt stronger somehow, she felt like she suddenly had the power to come clean about all her fears, all her doubts.

Instead of blabbing about her current situation, she looked into Alex's crystalline blue eyes, seeing the concern there, and that emotion that she had never been able to place staring back at her, giving her strength without words, without action.

"I missed you," she uttered, trying to smile, but just managing a small whimper-like grimace, "You just left."

She saw the pain flicker across Alex's eyes before being replaced by a smile, "I'm sorry. I was hurting, I didn't want you to pity me, and I couldn't handle saying goodbye, not when my emotions were so raw. I'm sorry"

Marissa smiled, a true smile this time, wiping her tears away, "Not your fault. I get it," she laughed slightly, "Sorry, about the break down. I've… been going through some things."

Alex stepped back, out of their embrace, dropping her arms at her sides. Marissa instantly missed her warmth and sighed.

Alex continued to smile, "You want to tell me about it?" she asked, offering Marissa her arm, which she took without a second thought.

It suddenly hit Marissa what she was doing and she pulled away, shocked at herself. "I… err… I gotta go."

She turned and ran, heading for the school gates, completely forgetting about school and focusing on what had just happened. Alex. She saw Alex Kelly for the first time in 8 months and the first thing she did was hug her like she would have when they were together.

What was she doing, she had a boyfriend!

The problem was, she knew exactly what she was doing, she'd felt that thing, that thing she'd been missing with Ryan for so many months, the thing that they'd had before, but didn't have now, the thing that had made their relationship so meaningful in the beginning. Her heart.

She realized, looking at Alex, holding her, it had stirred up things that she hadn't felt since she'd left, feelings that she thought she felt for Ryan, but really weren't there, her love.

All their problems, all their fights, their distance, she suddenly knew why they were all happening. It was her; she didn't believe in what they had, her heart wasn't in it, it was all… lust.

She'd tried everything, even sex, nothing had seemed to bring them closer, and she suddenly knew, she knew that it was her.

She felt guilty, like somehow, she'd subconsciously created their problems so she didn't have to deal with what was really going on with her, why she didn't feel that… breathlessness, that she felt when she first met Ryan.

She ran faster and didn't stop until the school was well out of sight, and she was at the beach, the same part of the beach that had been their spot, about a mile from the bait shop, the place she and Alex first kissed.

She felt more tears threatening to fall from her eyes and she walked onto the sand, feeling her shoes sink into the yellow-white grains.

She sat down in the spot where she often came to think, realizing that it was on Valentines day, that same year that she sat in that very spot, kissing Alex for the first time and she realized that it was that moment that Alex had stolen her heart, her sweetness, her smile, the sweet taste of her lips, they were all perfect. It was that smile that she fell for, that had drawn her in.

She could still hear Alex calling after her, like she was right next to her.

"Marissa!"

She turned, looking behind her, and she saw Alex chasing her, her hair blowing in the beach wind, her cheeks red from the running so far.

She stopped when she saw Marissa was looking at her, slowly beginning to walk towards where Marissa was sitting, looking out at the ocean as she struggled through the sand.

"Marissa, this is…" she trailed off, knowing that Marissa understood. "I fell for you here, in this spot. I can remember thinking it before, thinking that maybe, just maybe, I had finally found the one that I would love forever," she paused and sat down, looking out into the ocean, watching the waves crash so shore and mix with the sand in the way nature intended. Marissa followed her gaze, looking out at the horizon, still thinking about that night, "As soon as I kissed you, that's when I just knew, I knew that I'd be hooked on you forever," she turned and looked Marissa in the eyes, "I wasn't wrong in that moment. I'll always love you."

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