Chapter 15

Later that evening John and Marlena are in bed together. Clearly they had their own celebration as their clothing was tossed amongst different places in the room. Marlena is asleep in John's arms when she stirs slightly and opens her eyes. John smiles at her as he strokes her hair.

"Hey honey, I was afraid that it was a dream. You know I dreamed about you everyday while Tony held us captive in his castle. It's hard to believe that everything is the way it should be. Roman is back in Kate's arms, I'm in your arms, life couldn't get any more perfect then this very moment."

"I used to dream about you all the time and I was so excited to tell you then I saw that you weren't in bed next to me. That hurt a lot I'm lost without you. I don't even know where I would be if it weren't for you."

"The feelings are mutual Roman was a good friend being there for me but my life is with you now. You and our two new babies, I can't believe after all these years it's finally happened. Do you ever wonder why I got pregnant now instead of 18 years ago?"

"No I don't but I used to be a priest so I suppose it was God's will that now is the time to have a baby. I only expected to have one baby and now I learn I'm having twins. Their life is going to be so special. I won't let any DiMera interfere with how we raise them. I will spend the rest of my life protecting them and you."

"They're lucky to have you as a daddy. All my children are lucky to have you in their life. Who could ask for more?"

"I'm not so sure about Sami. She's still very angry about what happened all those years ago. Do you think she'll ever be able to see me as her step-father or will she continue to hate me until the day I die?"

"I hope not but it isn't only you she's angry with. She blames me for the divorce and maybe I am to blame but it was over 20 years ago you'd think she would warm up to me again. I miss the relationship we once had and for a little while there during her trial for Franco's murder, then Death Row I thought finally we were getting close again. Then this whole Brandon thing started then Lucas and she just closed up again. I wish there was a way I could get her back to what we used to have."

"You aren't the only one to blame about our affair. I was there too and sometimes I wonder what our life would be like if Belle had been Roman's daughter. Do you think that we would be together now if that was the case?"

"Yes, sometimes, but I don't really know what my life would be like if we hadn't had an affair. Would you change anything if you could?"

"Honestly, yes, after you came back all those years ago I prayed that I was Roman. I even convinced myself that I was because then I had a past and now most of my past is still a mystery. But then I think about it and I remember that if I had been Roman I wouldn't have Brady or Belle. Things would have been so different but I don't regret any of my time with you. Because regretting the affair means I regret Belle and I could never do that. What about you if you could change things would you?"

"In the beginning I wished I could have erased the affair I had with you. Then I would have wished it away and Roman wouldn't have left on that dangerous I.S.A assignment that nearly got him killed. But like you I wouldn't have had Belle and she means everything to me. All my children mean everything to me."

"And here we are starting from scratch again. How do you honestly feel about being pregnant again? Are you happy or are you scared?"

"I guess a little of both. I'm delighted that I'm pregnant again but I am also terrified at the same time because it's been so long since my last one. There are so many things that could go wrong I can't help but think about them every day. What about you are you happy about the twins?"

"Oh yes I am happy about the twins. I always wanted to have my own 'twinners.' Ever since the day I found out Belle was mine I wanted to have a life with you and yes I wanted another baby because I missed most of your pregnancy with Belle."

"You never told me that."

"Your life was with Roman and I couldn't tear apart your family no matter how much I wanted to be in your life. Then I met Kristen and everything changed when I first fell in love with her she was so different. She was kind and loving and she cared about others. I just didn't see how much trouble she was in and how insecure she felt about our history. I still can't pin point the exact moment she turned into Stefano's child and did everything for herself. I guess we'll never know but I can't help but think that if I was there that night maybe if she got the help she needed I could turn her away from Stefano's influence. But at the same time I'm scared too I mean we aren't as young as we used to be. Plus the doctor kept telling us how dangerous this pregnancy was and God knows I couldn't bear it if you died because of me. I just didn't think it would happen this way. Then when was saw the babies for the first time and heard their heartbeats it made my heart melt and everything that I was worried about just melted away and you and the twins were the most important thing in my life."

"I know the feeling, yes I'm very scared about this pregnancy but at the same time I can't help but be thankful for it. I mean look at all the time that has gone by since Belle was born? Then now suddenly I get pregnant and not with just one baby but twins. I mean I never expected to have another baby with you. It wasn't as if we were being careful. I thought Belle would have been my last baby but she isn't now we have two more babies on the way. I don't know what kind of mother I'll be especially to infants. My children are grown it's a big change for me. But I'm not sorry about the twins I'm scared for them. What kind of life will they have with the DiMera's still alive? Always looking over their shoulders for something bad to happen; I don't want that for them I want them to have a happy childhood with BOTH their parents there for them when they get sick, scrape their knees, their first day of school. Those times I missed with Sami and Eric and look what happened to Sami she's so full of hatred sometimes. She just so desperately wants to be loved but every time she gets close to finding that person something happens and she goes back to what she used to be. Look at her reaction to the news about the babies."

"Yeah I noticed but most of that was directed at me. I suppose she was just reliving how angry she was when she walked in on us at Titan. Those aren't pleasant memories for her and to hear that her mother was pregnant again, by the same man she had an affair with, just brought back unpleasant memories."

"I know she said she was sorry but I can't help but think that she didn't mean it. She has wanted her father and I back together since the divorce. Now that he's married to Kate and I'm married to you it's like her whole life, and everyone she cares about, just slipped away. She feels like she's lost everything it's a common reaction after parents remarry other people. I just thought that maybe…finally…she would forgive us for what happened all those years ago and accept you as a part of her family. Now I'm afraid she'll never accept the twins as her brothers or sisters. She still blames Belle for the brake up of Roman and me. I just need her to understand that it wasn't anyone's fault it just happened. I just hope that these twins coming now will help mend some of the damage in our pasts."

"Maybe that's why you got pregnant Doc? I never thought about it until now but this could be the glue we need to be one big happy family like we should be. This could be the reason why we got pregnant when we did instead of 18 years ago?"

"Do you really think so John?"

"It makes sense, Sami is still bitter towards us being with each other. Belle is having issues of her own with Shawn. Sami just lost Lucas and now Austin and Carrie are back in town and beginning a new life. This could be exactly why it happened this could be the one thing in the world that will make us a family."

"I never thought of it that way. While Tony was tearing everyone we love away from us these two little miracles came along during a time where our family really needed something to hold onto."

"That's a lot of pressure to put on the new babies isn't it Doc? They aren't even here and already they are bringing our family closer then we have ever been."

"They're your babies John they can handle anything."

John and Marlena laugh lightly as they both place a hand on Marlena's stomach. Both share a very personal moment together as expecting parents. Something they never thought was going to happen and now the twins were bringing their family together.

"It's late I'm sure you and the babies are tired. Besides we have an appointment with Dr. Baider tomorrow morning to check on the babies and see what she wants to do. Not to mention I'm beat from traveling all night. I'll see you tomorrow morning, I love you Doc."

"I love you too John and yeah I'm tired it's been a really busy day…in all points not just our children."

John pulls Marlena into his arms kissing her on the cheek and soon they both are fast asleep with only the chime of the Swiss Clock around them.

TBC…Chapter 16