Remembrance
chapter 2. Shidarezakura
The Kuchiki house has the best sakura trees in the whole Seireitei.
The most beautiful ones are in my courtyard, for my eyes only. Someiyoshino, shidarezakura, yamazakura, yaezakura, and senbonzakura, names that only the nobility ever needs to know, elitism hidden in language.
Sakura season approaches, sometimes they bloom in the night, leaving a snow of petals in the morning, remnants of its dance that no eyes saw.
Tonight, the shidarezakura blooms, a truly breathtaking sight, has it not been pitch dark. The night breeze is like water, subtle undercurrents sending the silken petals brushing past my face.
How gentle.
Someone is here, though, and she voiced her musings to the trees.
"The sakura dance and die, even on a moonless night"
"I wonder, does it feel regret?"
Intruder? No.
"Hisana."
How did I remember her name?
"Kuchiki-dono…"
And she is not even flustered, to be caught in the middle of the night in my private courtyard.
"What are you doing?"
It's none of my concerns. Maybe I feel like talking.
"Hanami. The shidarezakura blooms tonight."
Maybe I am in a good mood too.
"You can't see anything."
There is nothing to see, perhaps I should go back to sleep.
"Humans too, no one watches our lives." "Yet we dance all the same, from life to death."
"Why, do we dance?"
She is not listening, no point wasting my time here.
I turn and walk off.
"It's a cold night, don't stay out too long, Byakuya-sama."
Way too informal, how dare she.
Byakuya, not Kuchiki.
I caught myself smiling, but it's dark anyway.
So what if it's dark? I should not find comfort in such. She has spoken out of her rank.
Yet those once-familiar words stirred up the warm sunshine sealed long, long time ago.
No one has thought I can feel the cold, I believed that too.
I am always in the cold with nothing less cold to compare to. I can't tell if I feel the cold.
Not till now the thought ever surfaced.
Perhaps it is cold.
I should not feel it.
Why, do we dance, and keep to the steps, even if no one watches?
Because, Hisana, though no one watches our lives, I cannot let myself misstep.
So Hisana, call me Kuchiki-dono, and nothing, nothing else.