Incomplete

- Chapter Twenty -

The stables were filled with the comforting scents of old wood and fresh cut grass. Ah-Un feasted on a trough of the latter while Kagome took her time polishing his scaly hide. This was the one place she could be alone with her thoughts, away from prying eyes and prodding whispers. It was here that she spent hours trying to figure out how best to untangle herself from the mess that he'd left her in.

Sesshomaru had resumed his favourite past time of pretending she didn't exist while she did her best to find any single logical reason why he'd kissed her in the first place. It wasn't like he'd shown any interest in her before that moment. He barely tolerated her at the best of times and completely ignored her at others. The few times they had spoken, their words hadn't exactly been cordial either.

"I just don't get it," she muttered. Her hand had long since stopped polishing and now draped lazily across Ah-Un's back. The twin heads turned to look at her, confusion registering in their blinking eyes.

"Is he always this impossible to figure out?"

One of the heads, the one she thought was Un, snorted. She blew her bangs out of her eyes and rested her chin on her arm.

"One minute he hates me and the next he's..."

Saving my life.

Right. Like she could forget that part.

You are not falling for him,she reminded herself sternly. It was ridiculous to even consider it! He was impossible, frustrating, patronizing and obtuse - everything she didn't want or need in a man.

But he made her feel safe. For reasons she still didn't know or understand, he kept protecting her and saving her life. Sesshomaru, the Lord of the West who despised humans, actually seemed to care about her well being. Was it possible he felt something too?

Her lips tingled at the memory of his mouth on hers, tasting of tea and lust. Her heart had raced then much like it was racing now, until it felt like it was going to fly right out of her chest. The difference between Sesshomaru's kiss and Inuyasha's... They weren't even comparable in her mind. She blushed at the memory of how she'd desperately clawed at him, begging for more.

No wonder he'd run out of there so fast.

Maybe it was time to leave, before things got messy and complicated. She'd had enough of that with Inuyasha and wasn't ready for a second dose. She could go back and join the others, Miroku, Sango, Shippo and Inuyasha. They still had to search for the remaining jewel shards, after all.

Or maybe she just needed to go home to her own time for a while...

Unfortunately none of those options appealed to her. Each one left her feeling like a coward. She'd made a habit out of running away from her problems instead of facing them. She'd run away from Inuyasha when things got hard and now she wanted to run away from Sesshomaru too? All because of a kiss?

She was still chewing over her thoughts when the demon who took care of the stables arrived to give Ah-Un their proper polish and dinner.

"Has Sesshomaru returned?"

She asked the Stable Master the same question every day. Normally the surly old demon muttered a gruff "No" at her before tending to his duties but today was different. He looked at her curiously, his hands never stopping their sure movements with the brush across Ah-Un's scaled neck.

"His Lordship returned earlier this afternoon."

Perfect!

She nodded her thanks and slowly made her way back to the palace. It was the first time he'd been back in a week. If she was going to talk to him, it was now or never.

"Might as well settle this tonight," she decided and picked up her pace.

oOo

It was a slow walk down the hall to his private quarters and her wooden geta clacked loudly with every step. She was certain there was some graceful, less noisy way to walk in them, but such knowledge evaded her completely. Sooner than she would have liked, she found herself standing outside the door to his quarters feeling completely unsure of herself. Sucking in a big breath for courage she bravely knocked on his door and slowly slid it open.

Sesshomaru was inside looking perfectly himself while kneeling at a low table. An array of maps and a small tea set were laid out in front of him and he appeared to be thoroughly engrossed in the former. With difficulty she swallowed away the sudden dryness in her throat and removed her troublesome shoes at the door.

He greeted her with the sort of look that said he wasn't pleased by her sudden appearance and her stomach responded with a nervous flip. Even annoyed he was breathtakingly beautiful. It didn't seem fair. How could any woman not feel inadequate standing next to him?

Remembering the way she'd clung to him in the onsen an embarrassed flush quickly coloured her cheeks and she averted her gaze to the richly woven rug beneath her feet.

"Is there a reason you are here?" he intoned, keeping his attention on his maps.

Feeling slighted that he was already brushing her off she blurted out, "Sesshomaru, we need to talk."

He gestured for her to join him at the table.

"Tea?" he asked once she was seated.

"Yes, thank you."

It was a long moment before she realized that he had no intention of serving her and she'd have to pour it for herself.

"Typical," she muttered under her breath.

By the time she was done he was preoccupied with his maps. Why was he acting so much like, well, himself? It was enough to drive her crazy. Where was the Sesshomaru she'd spoken with ten days ago? Where was the man who'd kissed her so passionately he'd made her knees weak? Couldn't he just pick a personality and stick with it?

Frowning, she took a long sip of tea to clear her throat. It helped, if only a little. With a purposeful air she loudly set her cup down on the table and looked at him expectantly. He continued on as if she weren't there.

"Are you always this rude to your guests? You could at least acknowledge that I'm here."

His mouth twitched into what could have been a wry smile.

"You haven't said anything of importance."

Her face flushed. "I... You..."

"You aren't making any progress," he chided, taking a calm sip of his tea.

If she didn't know better she'd think he was teasing her. Eventually he sat back with his cup in hand and studied her for the first time since she'd walked through the door.

"I trust you are healing well?"

She glanced down in reflex at her arms, hidden beneath the silken sleeves of her kimono. They were healing, if a little slower than she would've liked. It was the rest of her that was the problem. The nightmares that plagued her dreams at night weren't exactly a picnic and feeling like she had to constantly look over her shoulder made staying in the palace less than enjoyable.

"I'm fine," she lied, hiding her anxiety behind a smile.

His stern expression suggested he wasn't buying her performance.

"Yakata and the others have been dealt with," he reassured her. She watched as he contemplated his cup, turning it slowly back and forth in his hand.

"Do you think...?" she began, and then hesitated. Did she really want to know the truth?

"Will they come after you again?" he ventured. "Perhaps. War is brewing along the northern border and it has made them uneasy. They are eager to find a hasty solution and a miko makes for an easy scapegoat."

"So... What do we do?" she asked, shifting her weight nervously to her other leg.

He seemed to consider her words a moment, then slowly set his cup down in front of him.

"Negotiate."

She'd heard the servant's gossip - his advisers were out for blood. If everyone wanted war or her head on a spit, what hope did he have to change their minds?

"And if that doesn't work?" she prodded, tentatively.

He made her wait while he took his time pouring himself another cup of tea.

"It is not your concern."

Her eyes narrowed at this brisk dismissal. Shoving back her sleeve she held her arm out in front of him, revealing the angry red scar that sliced up the length of her forearm.

"I was the one they tried to kill. That makes it my concern."

He snatched her arm up by the wrist and held it between them, averting his eyes from her scars. With his gaze trained so closely on her she could see the glimmer of annoyance shining in its golden depths.

"Your reminders are unnecessary. The problem has been dealt with."

"Has it? You said yourself that you can't be certain they won't try again."

If Sesshomaru was anything, he was proud. Taking shots at his ego wasn't going to turn out well, but frankly she didn't care. It was his pride that'd gotten her into this mess in the first place. Because of his pride she'd almost wound up dead.

"You dare question my ability to protect those under my care?" he hissed, gripping her arm a little tighter.

Holding his gaze she answered confidently, "Yes."

His lip lifted in a silent snarl and he moved away, putting some much needed distance between them.

"You try my patience, woman."

With a scoff, she pushed herself to her feet and stared down at his unmoving form.

"That's what I came here to talk to you about. I've decided to leave."

"Don't be foolish," he chided with a derisive glance in her direction.

"It's more foolish to stay where I'm not wanted," she shot back with her chin held high.

Squaring her shoulders she turned for the door with every intention of packing and leaving that night. The anger rolling through her was welcome for a change. It kept her focused on something other than her doubts and questions and the lonely realization that once she left she had nowhere to go but home.

The touch of a cool hand around her wrist froze her feet in place. He held her fast, but not so tight that she couldn't break free if she wanted to. She didn't realize until she turned back to him that it wasn't his hand that had stopped her in her tracks. It was the sound of her name on his lips - a word that so rarely crossed them, hearing it stunned her into silence.

He was still kneeling at the table only the maps and tea were now long forgotten. His attention was focused solely on her and she felt her stomach make an anxious flip.

"Stay."

It wasn't a demand, but he wasn't begging either. Sesshomaru never begged for anything. Instead he was giving her a choice. Slowly, her legs folded under her until she was once more kneeling next to him. She studied the hard set of his features and the tension in his jaw before giving him an uncertain look.

"What now?"

They still hadn't talked about what'd happened between them at the onsen and judging by the mood he was in tonight she wasn't sure if it was even worth bringing up. He seemed more than willing to pretend like it'd never happened, so maybe she should do the same.

Their kiss was a mistake, nothing more than a momentary lapse in judgement and control. Only, it hadn't felt that way to her. It wasn't so easy to forget the way his touch had made her come alive.

Her heart hammered in her chest as her eyes met his.

I was wrong,she realized, watching him over her teacup. I'm already too far in it to get out unscathed now.

And the strange thing was, for once she didn't seem to mind.