Title: Her Saving Grace

Author: Tay/JethroGibbsMistress

Category: wrestling

Characters: Lita, John, Stacy, Trish, and many others. Brief appearances by Mickie James

Disclaimer: All characters you recognized belong to the WWE and themselves. The ones you don't belong to my crazy mind. When I Get Where I'm Going belongs to Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton, the poem Maureen recites is owned by Ruth Ann Mahaffey, Wings of a Dove is owned by Bob Patterson and by the many singers who have sang this beautiful song, Devil Went Down to Georgia is owned by Charlie Daniels, Steve Wariner owns Holes in the Floor of Heaven, Someone's Watching Over Me is owned by Hilary Duff, the poem Lita read has an unknown author, I found it in the approved prewritten messages for the guestbooks at Legacy dot com but just for my story I'm saying Lita has written it and I in no way claim ownership of it.

Distribution: my myspace blog, otherwise just ask first

Rating: M

Spoilers: Not a single solitary one

Summary: Her best friend is gone. She's lost. How will she ever make it through. Deals with suicide, death, severe depression and probably drugs later on.

Notes:

Bold Print: spoken words at the funeral for all to hear

Italic Print: Songs and poems sung or recited

Bold Italic Print: Heresay words... spoken by one of the guests from memory of what someone else has said.

Her Saving Grace

Chapter Three

Saying Goodbye

(the next day)

The mood was somber in the funeral home that day. None of them wanted to be there. None of them wanted to have to say goodbye to someone they all loved so very much. Lita, Randy, Dave, John, Matt, Ashley, Stacy, Victoria were all sitting in front of the funeral home with Alana and Maureen. The pastor was giving his speech about all souls departing to heaven. Lita wasn't really paying attention to him though.

She couldn't stop staring at the body of her best friend. She looked almost peaceful. Lita hoped she was at peace. She knew her friend had deserved it after everything she'd been through. She was knocked out of her thoughts when the pastor said that her sister Alana would like to say a few words about her sister.

Lita watched Lana walk up to the pulpit. Her eyes were red and puffy and slowly she started speaking. "Mickie was my big sister. Whenever I had a problem she was right there at my side trying to help me," Lana chuckled, "Even when I didn't want it.

Lana loved life. She loved the smell of the flowers blooming in the spring and the way it would smell after a rainfall. She loved animals. Every animal. I remember when we were younger everyone would tease her about her turning the house into a pet sanctuary because she'd always seem to somehow find strays and bring them home with her.

She wanted to be a vet back then. But then she found out the dark side of veterinary work and she knew her loving heart would ever be able to euthanize a helpless animal. I think that was one of the reasons her and Li were such good friends. They both love animals with a passion. They even opened an animal shelter together in their teens. They called it the LiMic Animal House.

They took in every kind of animal and would nurse them, with the help of the local vet, Shelley Rayson, and then they'd adopt them out to loving families. But not before a thorough investigation was done of the adoptees and of course the promise that they'd be allowed to see the animals at least once a month.

Lita was Mickie's best friend. And Mic loved her like a sister. I remember once when I was 12 and they were both 13, because Li hadn't had her 14th birthday yet, we all went to the zoo. We walked around the whole zoo at least 15 times stopping at the monkey exhibit a little longer each time. There was this cute little baby monkey named Sheeba that Mickie absolutely fell in love with. She wanted to take Sheeba home with her. We had to hold her back from climbing the fence and going into the exhibit and taking Sheeba with us.

She finally relented but of course not before making us promise that we'd get her a monkey just like Sheeba sometime in the future. Which of course we did almost a year later. She was a little disappointed though when she realized we had only sponsored an orphaned monkey in a floundering Brazilian zoo. But she loved us for it. 5 years ago we finally truthfully fulfilled that promise when we bartered for a show monkey that the owner said was too old to be in the business anymore. And man did she ever love Orrico.

Mickie was the greatest sister a girl could ever ask for. She was always there when I needed her. She'd know when I was in trouble or when I was sad. Sometimes she knew it even before I did. She never looked down on me or judged me. I told you so was never even in her vocabulary.

Mic loved her family. Especially her son Kyle. He was her pride and joy. When she lost him a huge part of her was lost too. The day Kyle died was the worst day of her life and I wish she never would have had to go through that pain. I'm going to miss my sister more than anything. But the one thing that gives me comfort is knowing that one day I will see her again."

Lana slowly walked back to her seat tears freely falling down her face. The pastor was once again at the pulpit. "Now Mickie's friend Trish would like to sing a song in memory of her dear departed friend."

Trish walked up to the pulpit grabbing a microphone. The slow melodious sounds of a guitar started playing and Trish started singing.

When I get where I'm going
on the far side of the sky.
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly.

I'm gonna land beside a lion,
and run my fingers through his mane.
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

Yeah when I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
I will shed the sins and struggles,
I have carried all these years.
And I'll leave my heart wide open,
I will love and have no fear.
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
Don't cry for me down here.

I'm gonna walk with my grandaddy,
and he'll match me step for step,
and I'll tell him how I missed him,
every minute since he left.
Then I'll hug his neck.

So much pain and so much darkness,
in this world we stumble through.
All these questions, I can't answer,
so much work to do.

But when I get where I'm going,
and I see my Maker's face.
I'll stand forever in the light,
of His amazing grace.

Yeah when I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
Hallelujah!
I will love and have no fear.
When I get where I'm going.
Yeah when I get where I'm going.

With tears in her eyes Trish said "I have chosen to dedicate this song to Mickie because it reminds me of her. I know that when she got to heaven she wrapped her son and her momma in her arms and she walked with them matching them step for step. I know that she is in heaven with her son and momma and that she is now at peace. I'm going to miss my friend dearly but I know that she is now happy and with her precious angel. And that is something she has wanted since the day our Maker called him home."

Trish walked back to her seat and Lita wrapped her arms around her sister. "Trishy that was beautiful. She would have loved it." Lita said through her tears. "Now Mickie's sister Maureen would like to recite a poem for her sister."

Maureen walked up to the pulpit. "This poem I picked to read today was one of Mickie's favorites.

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,

God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."
It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you...in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.

Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God at night..."My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented...that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to go... from that body to be free,
remember you're not going...you're coming here to me.

Maureen took her seat and the pastor walked back up to the pulpit. "Mickie's friend Chris will now sing a song for her."

Chris walked up with his guitar in hand, "This song is called Wings of a Dove," and the beginnings of the beautiful gospelesque song started forming and his melodious voice resonated through the room.

On the wings of a snow-white dove
He sends His pure sweet love
A sign from above (sign from above)
On the wings of a dove (wings of a dove)

When troubles surround us, when evils come
The body grows weak (body grows weak)
The spirit grows numb (spirit grows numb)
When these things beset us, He doesn't forget us
He sends down His love (sends down His love)
On the wings of a dove (wings of a dove)

On the wings of a snow-white dove
He sends His pure sweet love
A sign from above (sign from above)
On the wings of a dove (wings of a dove)

When Noah had drifted on the flood many days
He searched for land (he searched for land)
In various ways (various ways)
Troubles, he had some but wasn't forgotten
He sent him His love (sent him His love)
On the wings of a dove (wings of a dove)

On the wings of a snow-white dove
He sends His pure sweet love
A sign from above (sign from above)
On the wings of a dove (wings of a dove)

On the wings of a snow-white dove
He sends His pure sweet love
A sign from above (sign from above)
On the wings of a dove (wings of a dove)
On the wings of a dove (wings of a dove)
On the wings of a dove (wings of a dove)
On the wings of a dove (wings of a dove)

Chris pushed the microphone away and stood up. He looked to the ceiling and said with a choked voice, "This ones for you Mic." And the beginning riffs of The Devil Went Down to Georgia started playing as Chris sang his heart out.

The devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal.
He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind: he was willin' to make a deal.
When he came across this young man sawin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot.

And the devil jumped upon a hickory stump and said: "Boy let me tell you what:
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
"And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

"Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the devil his due:
"I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, 'cos I think I'm better than you."

The boy said: "My name's Johnny and it might be a sin,
"But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret, 'cos I'm the best that's ever been."

Johnny you rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard.
'Cos hells broke loose in Georgia and the devil deals it hard.
And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold.
But if you lose, the devil gets your soul.
The devil opened up his case and he said: "I'll start this show."

And fire flew from his fingertips as he resined up his bow.
And he pulled the bow across his strings and it made an evil hiss.
Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded something like this.

When the devil finished, Johnny said: "Well you're pretty good ol' son.
"But if you'll sit down in that chair, right there, and let me show you how its done."
Fire on the moun, run boys, run.
The devil's in the house of the risin' sun.
Chicken in the bread pin, pickin' out dough.
"Granny, does your dog bite?"
"No, child, no."

The devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
He laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Johnny's feet.

Johnny said: "Devil just come on back if you ever want to try again.
"I told you once, you son of a bitch, I'm the best that's ever been."

And he played fire on the mount, run boys, run.
The devil's in the house of the risin' sun.
Chicken in the bread pin pickin' out dough.
"Granny, does your dog bite?"
"No, child, no."

Chris walked back to his seat with a smile on his face. The whole congregation now had smiles on their faces knowing that Mickie would have been up there singing and dancing to her hearts content to her favorite classic song.

The pastor again walked to the pulpit and with a smile on his face, "Now Mickie's friends Stacy, Victoria and Ashley will sing Holes in the Floor of Heaven."

The three girls walked up to the front and started singing, sans music.

one day shy of eight years old, my grandma passed away
i was a broken hearted little boy, blowing out that birthday cake
how i cried when the sky let go, with a cold and lonesome rain,
mamma smiled, said don't be sad child, grandma's watching you today

cause theres holes in the floor of heaven
and her tears are pouring down,
that's how you know she's watching,
wishing she could be here now,
and sometimes if your lonely,
just remember she can see,
there's holes in the floor of heaven,
and she's watching over you and me,

seasons come, and seasons go, nothing stays the same
i grew up, fell in love, met a girl who took my name
year by year, we made a life, in this sleepy little town
i thought we'd grow old together, Lord, i sure do miss her now

But there's holes in the floor of heaven,
and her tears are pouring down,
that's how i know she's watching,
wishing she could be here now,
and sometimes when i'm lonely,
i remember she can see,
there's holes in the floor of heaven,
and she's, watching over you and me,

well my little girl is twenty three, I walk her down the aisle
it's a shame her mom can't be here now, to see her lovely smile
they throw the rice, i catch her eye, as the rain starts coming down
she takes my hand, says daddy don't be sad,
cause i know mamma's watching now

And there's holes in the floor of heaven,
and her tears are pouring down,
that's how you know she's watching,
wishing she could be here now,
and sometimes when i'm lonely,
i remember she can see,
yes, there's holes in the floor of heaven,
and she's, watching over you and me
watching over you and me
watching over you and me

The three women methodically walked back to their seats as the pastor once again made his walk back to the pulpit. "Now Mickie's best friend Lita would like to say share a few memories about her dear friend."

The three women methodically walked back to their seats as the pastor once again made his walk back to the pulpit.

Lita walked to the pulpit with tears in her eyes. She stood there and looked out at the sea of faces looking back at her. Slowly she started to speak. "Mickie and I met 27 years ago. We were both in the same class in preschool. She was new to preschool and I had already been there for a year. When I walked into the classroom that day I saw Mic sitting there with her head on the table and she was crying. I wanted to comfort her because I hated seeing people cry. She was scared because it was all new to her and she had no friends there and she felt alone. So I offered my friendship.

We became fast friends and we were basically inseparable ever since. When we were younger our moms would tease us saying we were attached at the hip. And no matter what, you knew that where one of us was the other wasn't far behind. Mic and I learned so much together. Especially that if you put water in hot oil it can cause a fire," Lita chuckled, "A lesson we of course learned the hard way. We were 16 and working at Cephali's over summer break. It was a slow day barely seeing 25 customers that day in the last 6 hours and we were bored out of our minds. So we were trying to find ways to amuse ourselves.

I don't remember whose bright idea it was to do it but we did. And the fryer started spitting and popping and the hot oil splattered onto some nearby paper and it caught on fire, which quickly spread to the curtains. So we tried to put it out with the fire extinguishers but naturally we got more of the spray on us than on the fire itself. Needless to say that was our last day working at Cephali's.

We started the LeMic Animal House right after that. We had so much fun taking care of those precious animals. But of course Mic wanted to take every single one of the nurtured pets home and it broke her heart everytime one got adopted.

Mickie and I did so many things together. We went to college together and graduated college together both graduated with degrees in medical services. We both went to nursing school together and nursed at the same hospital.

Mic was the one that talked me into training to be a wrestler. So we trained together and got signed to the WWE together. She loved her job. Loved being a wrestler and feeling that rush everytime she went out to that ring. I once asked her why she loved wrestling so much and she said, 'Li are you kidding me. Going out there and hearing all those people screaming for you, whether it be boos or cheers, it's just so exhilarating. And the atmosphere when you first walk out from behind those curtains is electric. And the wrestling itself is just an adrenaline rush. I love it all Li. I mean come on now, really, what's not to love about wrestling.'

She loved performing for her fans. After Kyle's death I think it was the only thing that got her mind off of it.

But the one thing she loved more than wrestling was her family and friends. She would have done anything for us. Even if it she had to break a few laws to do it.

Mickie love music. Every type of music. She'd drive me nuts listening to classical music, which many of you know she had to have playing in any car she was in. When Mic was younger she wanted to be a musician. She loved to sing and dance and she loved that rush you get when singing for an audience.

She was also passionate about movies. Again every type. Scary, sappy, sick, comedic and even the ones that were just plain horrible. She loved them all. But her favorite movie ever was Grease. She had the hugest crush on John Travolta as a teen and she loved how his hips moved in the scene when Sandy dressed like a pink lady.

She loved to read and write too. She'd read every book in the local library 5 times by the time we graduated high school. I wrote a poem for her. It's called In My Pocket.

I have memories in my pocket.

They rattle among the change.

My memories of you are treasures

I carry wherever I go.

They are stored in bits and pieces,

parts of a beautiful whole.

They give me comfort when I

think I am alone.

Yes, I have memories in my pocket,

like so much other stuff I keep there.

But of all the treasures I have, it's

the memories of you that are the

most precious.

And I have so many memories of Mic that I will cherish forever and I will keep them safe in my heart forever. The night Mickie took her life she called me and left me a message. With Lana & Maureen's permission I'm going to play it for you. These were her last words and we all think she would have wanted them to be heard." Lita walked back to the stereo and put the tape in the deck and pushed play. Mickie's beautiful voice boomed through the speakers.

"L-Lita, it-it's me. Li I've done something. I had my pills. I-I um, I took them all. I'm sorry Li. I just wanted this pain to go away. It still hurts so much. Kyle is always on my mind, Li. And I can't deal with it anymore. I miss him so much. Li, I'm sorry that I've hidden my pain from everyone. I didn't want any of you to worry about me though. I had to Li. I just couldn't bother you all with my problems. Please don't be mad at me. My heart is gone. The Mickie you knew is gone. She died that day in the hospital. Li please don't be sad. I'm gonna be happy now. I'm finally gonna be with my little angel again.

Li will you tell Jeff, and Matt and Shannon and everyone that I loved them and that I'm sorry that they are gonna be hurting. And tell Lana and Maureen that I love them. Tell them all that I needed to do this. That it was my only choice. And don't let Lana blame herself. And don't you blame yourself either hun. Because it's not any of you guys' fault. I didn't want you to see my pain. Didn't want to bring anyone down with me.

Li tell my sisters that they were the best sisters a girl could ever ask for and that I love them so very much. Tell Lana not to let her life pass her by. That she should tell Christian how she feels. Because life truly is short. Lita you truly are my best friend. Thank you so much for always being there for me.

You aren't just my best friend Li, you are my sister. Thank you so much for being such a great friend. I love you Li. And I'm so sorry for doing this to you. To all of you. Tell my dad that I love him. That even though he wasn't ever there that I still loved him. And also tell him that I forgive him. And Li don't ever let an opportunity pass you by. Actually tell everyone that. Tell everyone to never let an opportunity pass them by. And not to put off the things that you can do today until tomorrow. Because tomorrow may never come. Tell the people that you love that you love them because you never know if you'll ever get the chance to say it to them again.

Li it's getting so cold. It's hard to keep my eyes open. But Lita. Oh Li please don't hate me. Oh God everyone please don't hate me for this. I had to do it. I couldn't handle it all anymore. Please understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. Hmmm it's so peaceful now. Please don't cry for me. I'm going to be in a better place.

Li please give my precious little nieces a kiss for me. Ask Shannon and Laura to never let Nero, Moore or HardyLyn forget me or forget how much their Annie Misi loved them. When they get old enough to understand it all tell them that I never blamed them or loved them any less. Tell them I'm sorry for not being the aunt I should have been. It hurt seeing my baby's bestest friends knowing I'd never see my baby again but that I never loved them any less.

It's getting really bright now Li. I'm getting so tired. I think I'm going to go to sleep now. But before I do. Just remember that we aren't really gone. That even though we aren't here in body that we are here in spirit. We will both be watching over you all and keeping you safe. We'll be the sunshine in your hair, the moonlight shining down. When the wind blows on a nice summer day that will be us whispering our love and encouragement to you. Kyle and I will be in your hearts forever and that will keep us alive.

I love you all. Please don't ever forget Kyle or me. Lita please sing Someone's Watching Over Me at my funeral for me. I love how you sing that song.Goodbye my friends, my family and to everyone I loved." "Kyle."

Lita turned back to the stereo and stopped the tape. When she turned back around she saw that there wasn't a dry eye in the entire place. "She knew us so well too. She knew that Lana and I would blame ourselves for not seeing it," she said looking at Lana, "But I think we both are dealing with it and we know that she is happy and that she did what she thought was best for herself and us too. Mickie had one last request and it's request that I can't turn down." The beginning melody started playing and Lita slowly started singing.

I found myself today,
oh i found myself and ran away,
but something pulled me back,
voice of reason i forgot i had,
all i know is your not here to say,
what you always used to say,
but it's written in the sky tonight

so i won't give up, no,
i won't break down,
sooner than it seems life turns around,
and i will be strong even if it all goes wrong,
when i'm standing in the dark i'll still believe,
someone's watching over me

seen that ray of light,
and it's shining on my destiny
shining all the time
and i won't be afraid
to follow everywhere its taking me
all i know is yesterday is gone
and right now i belong
to this moment, to my dreams

so i won't give up, no,
i wont' break down,
sooner than it seems life turns around,
and i will be strong even if it all goes wrong
when i'm standing in the dark i'll still believe
someone's watching over me

It doesn't matter what people say
and it doesn't matter how long it takes
believe in yourself and you'll fly, high,
and it only matters how true you are
be true to yourself and follow your heart

so i won't give up, no,
i wont' break down,
sooner than it seems life turns around,
and i will be strong even if it all goes wrong
when i'm standing in the dark i'll still believe...

That i won't give up, no,
i wont' break down,
sooner than it seems life turns around,
and i will be strong even if it all goes wrong
when i'm standing in the dark i'll still believe...
that someone's watching over
someone's watching over
someone's watching over me
yeaaa yehhh
oh-OH
Someone's watching over me

With tears in her eyes Lita said, "Mickie's sisters and I think she chose this song for a few reasons. Reasons that Lana has asked me to share with you. The first one is that no matter your struggles you can't give up. And when people tell you that you can't do something you have to be strong and not give into them. You have to follow you're heart. That you have to believe in yourself. And as long as you believe you can do it you can do whatever you want in life.

The second reason is to reassure us that no matter what, she will be there. Watching over us. Picking us up when we fall, kicking us in the ass when we just don't want to get up and do what we need to do, to smack us upside the head when we are being too damn stubborn and of course to comfort us when we are feeling down. I'm going to miss Mickie more than anything else in this world. She was my best friend. My confidant. My sister. We lost an amazing human being but heaven gained one hell of an angel."

Lita took her seat as the pastor went back up to the pulpit. "This concludes our service here. The rest of the service will be conducted at Redding Hill Cemetery. The family has asked that everyone wait outside so that the family can say their final goodbyes"

Slowly the funeral home started emptying. After the final guest had left it was just Alana, Maureen, Lita, Stacy, Trish, Ashley, Victoria, Matt, Dave, John, Jeff, Randy, Shannon and Laura. They each took their turns at the casket saying their private goodbyes. "Li," Lana said, "Would you like us to leave you alone for a minute to say your goodbyes." "Only if it's okay with you," Lita replied.

So Lana and the rest left to wait outside. Lita slowly walked up to the casket. She looked at Mickie's face. "Oh Micgirl what am I gonna do. I'm going to miss you so much. You were my best friend for so long I can't really remember a time when we weren't friends. There isn't a single good memory that I have that doesn't involve you," Lita reached up to wipe a tear from her face, "It's gonna be so different without you here. How am I going to torture all the guys without you?

Oh man Mic this is so hard. I don't wanna say goodbye. I feel that if I do this will all be true. I keep looking at you thinking that you're gonna pop up and say, "GOTCHA" any minute now. But I know that's not true.

Mic don't you worry bout Lana. I'm gonna take care of her. I'll make sure she's okay." Lita took a locket out of her pocket and placed it in Mic's hand, "I want you to have it Mic. It was the locket my grandaddy gave me right before he died. The one you loved so much. It has a picture of Momma James and Kyle in it.

I'm not gonna say goodbye Mic. Goodbye's are forever. So, until we meet again my dear friend." Lita walked to the door and turned around taking one last look at her best friend and walked out of the funeral home.