Incomplete

- Chapter Thirty-Eight -

Spring had arrived at the village and the fields and gardens were ready for planting. Kagome hacked at the hard earth with her hoe to break it up and tried not to think about what the change in seasons meant. It'd been nearly three months since she'd last seen Sesshomaru. Three months since he'd made her his mate, three months since she'd been captured and nearly killed by his traitorous courtiers. Three months with no word on his whereabouts or whether he was even still alive after being taken by the Northern Tribes.

Throwing the hoe high overhead she brought it down hard against the earth with a cry.

"Do not work so hard, Kagome," Kaede chided with a wry smile. "There is plenty of field left to cover."

Kagome took a momentary break to wipe the sweat from her brow and grab a drink of water. "Thanks, Kaede," she responded with a fleeting smile.

Three months might as well have been an eternity. She could have returned to the Western Lands, she supposed. If she'd ordered Jaken to take her there he would have, but fear held her back. Without Sesshomaru was there even any point in returning to a place where she was so clearly unwelcome? Would the beings that lived in his court tolerate the presence of a priestess without Sesshomaru around to keep them in line? She doubted it. Those demons might bow to him, but they would never obey a miko.

Rin suddenly appeared at her side to ask if she could help. Kagome gave her a broad smile and handed Rin a small trowel. The child was an unfailing fountain of optimism. Not a day went by where she didn't find some opportunity to whisper emphatically, "Don't worry! Lord Sesshomaru will come for us!"

She would always smile to placate her in the moment, but knew the ugly truth. If Sesshomaru was still alive he would have come for them by now. She simply hadn't found the courage to break the grim news to Rin just yet.

"Does this village make you sad, Kagome?" the girl asked suddenly.

Kagome paused with the hoe held high over her head and slowly lowered it to her side, "Why do you ask that, Rin?"

"Because you always look sad," she answered with a shake of her head. "You never smile like you did when we lived at the palace. Is it because you miss Lord Sesshomaru?"

Kagome nodded solemnly, "Yes, I miss him very much."

Rin resumed tilling the earth with her small trowel and blew out a wistful sigh.

"Don't worry Kagome! Jaken is sure to have found Lord Sesshomaru by now. He's going to come for us any day now, I just know it!"

The green imp had left several weeks prior to return to the Western Lands in the hopes of finding Sesshomaru. He'd instructed Kagome to take care of Rin while he was gone and promised not to return unless his master was at his side. She'd waited patiently outside every day since then in the hopes that he would finally come for her, but each day she'd been disappointed.

It was beginning to look as though this day, too, would turn out like the others. With a sigh of resignation, she picked up her tool once more and hacked at the hard, dry earth with renewed vigor. She hadn't been at it long before Kaede was at her side offering a small snack for her labours.

"You will wear yourself out at that pace," the old miko observed. Kagome shrugged and shoveled the rice balls Kaede offered into her mouth. The rice was still warm and fresh and she groaned with delight at the taste of it.

"I need to gather fresh water. Will ye join me?"

Kagome's brow rose in a curious look. She sensed Kaede wouldn't take "No" for an answer and set down her hoe. With a quick word to Rin that she would return soon, she followed the old miko down the well worn path to the well. Kaede kept her peace as they walked. It wasn't until they began to fill the empty pails they had brought with them that the old miko finally spoke.

"How are ye feeling?" she asked, her tone carefully neutral.

Kagome's brow furrowed in confusion, "I feel fine. Why?"

"No pain? No nausea?"

Kagome's hands slowed to a halt, the bucket of water only half-raised from the depths of the well, "Kaede, what's this about?"

"While I do not pretend to understand the depth of your relationship with Sesshomaru, is it fair to assume ye were intimate with him?"

Kagome's face flushed hot. She was certain her cheeks were flaming red! She began pulling up the bucket with renewed vigor simply to have something else to focus on besides Kaede's prying eyes. Was Kaede really trying to have the "birds and the bees" talk with her? Now?!

When she didn't answer, Kaede gave an understanding nod. "I see. That explains things."

The bucket of water reached the top of the well and Kagome dragged it over the ledge and set it down at her feet. She was positively bewildered now, "Explains what, Kaede? What are you-?"

Realization clicked into place and her bravado faded with a soft, "Oh." Her hand moved absently to her belly and she gazed up at the priestess with a look of stunned surprise, "Do you think it's possible? He didn't... I mean, we were careful..."

Kaede's shoulders lifted in a light shrug. "I do not pretend to understand demon mating rituals, but if they are similar to those of humans there are times when being careful is not enough."

A wave of dizziness overwhelmed her and Kagome sat down heavily on the edge of the well. Her mind was reeling, desperately trying to remember the last time she'd had a period. Not since she'd returned to the village, of that much she was certain. How long before that? Not long... Her hand went once more to her belly. She felt silly doing it as it felt no different than it had before, but the thought that she could be carrying his child filled her with awe. Was it even possible?

"But...I don't feel any different," she protested. "Are you sure?"

Kaede smiled kindly and her aged hands settled lightly atop her shoulders, "As certain as I can be until ye begin showing."

The news left Kagome reeling. Her mind felt sluggish, like it was struggling just to keep up.

"I think I need to sit down," she said, feeling winded for the first time that day.

"Ye are sitting down, child," Kaede reminded her with a gentle pat of her hand. "Have some water and ye will feel better."

Kagome took the bottle of cool well water Kaede offered and hastily drank it down. The effect was immediate - the fog that had clouded her thoughts cleared away in an instant.

"Wow! That really worked!"

Kaede took a seat next to her atop the well. "While I know this is a challenging time for ye, I will do what I can to assist ye through these next months."

Kagome nodded, and pushed away all thoughts of delivering a child in the feudal era and how dangerous that could be. There would be plenty of time to dwell on that later, months in fact. For now she simply wanted to embrace the joy of this moment. Sesshomaru's child...! She truly had become his mate after all.

"Do you think the others have noticed?" she asked suddenly. It wasn't that the idea of them knowing bothered her, but this was one small secret she was content to keep to herself for a little while, anyway. At least until she'd had a chance to get used to the idea.

The old miko shook her head, "That is unlikely, child. With the villagers so focused on making the fields ready for the spring planting no one has had time to notice such things."

Kagome exhaled a soft sigh and nodded. "So, what now?"

"We monitor your condition closely, make certain ye are comfortable and cared for. The rest will happen as it may."

That sounded ominous. She was certain Kaede hadn't intended it that way, but it made her uneasy just the same. What if something did happen to her during delivery? What if she died here in the feudal era? Her family back home in the present would never know what'd happened to her. They'd just know she'd left for good without saying a proper 'good-bye'. Her heart clenched at the thought of causing them any pain.

"Fear not child," Kaede said soothingly and held her hand between her warm, smooth palms. "It will all turn out as it must."

She nodded, feeling mildly comforted by the reassuring touch of the miko's hands around hers. Kaede had delivered dozens of babies in the short time she'd known her. There wasn't a more skilled midwife in the region.

With a smile she thanked her and helped Kaede to her feet.

"Shall we head back? If we stay out here any longer they'll send a search party looking for us!"

She helped Kaede with the water buckets, carrying what she could. She wouldn't have thought twice about carrying such a heavy load before, but now that she knew about the child growing inside of her she began second guessing herself. It felt silly to think that way - she'd been fine before knowing and would be fine after. Nothing had changed, not really. Except everything had.

Inuyasha met them at the path that led into the village, "Hey! I was just gonna go lookin' for you two. Here, let me help you with that-" He reached for Kaede's buckets of water but she shook her head and suggested he take the buckets from Kagome instead. Inuyasha gave a curious tilt of his head and she shot the old miko a stern look. Not wanting to make a big deal of it, she dropped the handles into Inuyasha's waiting hands.

"Thanks," she said with a smile. "Those were getting heavy! Here Kaede, let me help you with that." Kagome grabbed one of the water buckets from the miko's hands and they fell in step behind Inuyasha as he led them to her hut.

"Real subtle, Kaede," she muttered under her breath.

The old miko chuckled softly, "Whatever do you mean?"

Kagome gave a beleaguered sigh and followed her inside.

oOo

The troublesome thing about small villages was that no one was able to keep a secret for very long.

She'd gone for a late night soak to ease some of the tense muscles in her body following the spring planting. The fields were sown and ready to start growing rows upon rows of bright green shoots. It hadn't been more than two weeks since Kaede had first told her her suspicions, but she hardly needed to look for evidence of it now.

Her breasts felt swollen and tender and her belly had most definitely grown harder with a slight round bump. It wouldn't be long now before the others would start to notice. She would have to think of a way to tell them the bittersweet news. Bittersweet because with each new daily change, each new moment of joy, she was reminded that Sesshomaru was not there to share in it with her. He would never know their child, just as Inuyasha's father had never known his son. The very thought of it was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

Eager to return to the village and her warm bed, Kagome rose from the steaming waters and reached for her towel. It was in that same moment that Inuyasha sauntered down the path into view with a towel slung over his shoulder. He froze and his face turned red while he blurted out a hasty apology and turned away.

"What are you doing here?!" she demanded with a shriek.

"I thought everyone was already asleep!" he protested. "How could I have known you'd still be here bathing?!"

He did have a point. She had a tendency to lose track of time these days. Judging by how high the moon was above the horizon it was nearing midnight.

"Could you at least pass me my towel?" she demanded, feeling exasperated and embarrassed.

"Here, you can have mine." Inuyasha held the towel out to her and only glanced her way to make certain he was holding it within arm's reach. His eyes lingered on the gentle roundness of her belly then widened as they locked with hers. She grabbed the towel from his hand and hastily wrapped it around her body as she stepped out of the steaming water.

"Hey," he said softly, his tone uncertain, "are you...?"

She kept her back to him to give herself time to gather her thoughts. Did she want him to know? Would he be able to handle knowing she was carrying Sesshomaru's child? Their relationship was far from repaired, and she'd fretted about him finding out most of all. But in some way she was relieved this was all happening now. Just like ripping off a band-aid, she thought.

"Yeah..."

It was all the reply she could muster. She turned slowly, tucking the towel in tight around her body. The cool night air was already licking at her skin, sending goosebumps down her arms. Inuyasha's expression was awash with emotion, so much so that she had a difficult time deciphering them. His brows shot up high on his forehead and he blew out a low sigh.

"Wow..." he said softly.

"Yeah," she replied. "Wow is right."

Another long moment of silence stretched between them as Inuyasha processed the news she was carrying Sesshomaru's half-demon child.

"Are you okay with this?"

"Do I have a choice?"

Inuyasha gave a low grunt and nodded in agreement, seeing her point. His eyes were hesitant to meet hers. Instead he looked shyly away while his hand self-consciously tucked a few stray strands of dark hair behind his ear.

Not sure what else to say he settled on a deflated, "Well, congratulations I guess."

She wasn't sure why it hit her then, but the sudden intense wave of emotions that flooded through her made her sob. She covered her face with her hands, hot tears spilling into her palms. She didn't want to do this alone! She wanted Sesshomaru by her side, reassuring her with his unshakable confidence that absolutely nothing would happen to her or their child.

"Hey-wait! Don't cry! I-I'm sorry! I'm excited for you, honest. This is great news!"

For some reason his panicked efforts to console her only made her cry harder. She could hear the desperation in his tone as he frantically tried to soothe her without touching her. He hadn't touched her since that day in the woods. In fact, he went out of his way to avoid being within arm's length of her when he could. But with nothing else working his hands tentatively settled atop her shaking shoulders.

"Hey, it's okay," he said, doing his best to console her. "Everything's gonna be fine. Kaede, Sango, Miroku, Shippo and I, we'll all take care of you. You don't gotta worry about a thing."

His words were soothing, and it was reassuring to finally know how he'd react to the news of her pregnancy, but the tears wouldn't stop flowing. It wasn't fair! None of this was happening the way it was supposed to!

Not knowing what else to do, he pulled her into a light hug and she sobbed against his chest. He held her while she cried, with one hand occasionally stroking the back of her head. He didn't offer up any more consoling words because there were none he could give. Nothing he said would change the fact her mate was gone, possibly dead, and that she might raise this child alone.

He'd told her before about how difficult it had been for his mother, how he'd watched the way others ostracized him for his demon heritage slowly destroy her. He told her once he was convinced his mother had died of a broken heart. He wouldn't let that happen to her. This child, whoever it was, would never know that pain and loneliness. Of that at least she was certain.

Once she was feeling marginally better, or at least well enough that the sobs had subsided, she stepped out of his embrace.

"Sorry about that," she said, feeling embarrassed that he'd seen her in such a state.

"Are you okay?" he pressed even as his hands reluctantly fell away from her shoulders.

She nodded and wiped the last of the tears from her eyes, "Yeah. My emotions are all over the place right now," she explained with a self-conscious laugh.

"Half-demon pregnancies will do that," he commiserated.

Her brows shot up in surprise, "What do you know about half-demon pregnancies?"

His face turned red and he averted his eyes, "I know enough, okay? I've been around a lot longer than you and learned some things along the way."

"That's actually great news," she replied, not the least bit put off by his defensive tone. He turned back abruptly, his features awash in shock.

"I've had about a million questions and Kaede only knows so much. Half-demon pregnancies aren't exactly a common occurrence around here. Having someone I can ask questions to every now and then is a huge relief."

Inuyasha's expression melted into a look of mild surprise and he uttered a soft, "Oh."

Kagome grabbed up her pile of clothes then hesitated, not sure what else to say. "I should probably be getting back..." she said lamely.

Inuyasha nodded in agreement. "Want me to walk you?"

"No," she replied with a shake of her head. "I know the way. Enjoy your soak!"

She turned with a wave, then hurried down the path towards the village. She hadn't planned for Inuyasha to be the first to know, but learning he had at least some knowledge of half-demon pregnancies set her mind at ease. It felt good to have one other person around who knew what she was going through and understood how hard she was trying to hold herself together. Maybe this was a good thing. Maybe having Inuyasha in her corner again would turn out okay after all.

She couldn't have known then just how wrong she would be.