Incomplete
- Chapter Forty -
Happiness cannot bring back what anger has driven away.
It was an ancient Japanese proverb, one Sesshomaru had never bothered to dwell on, but as his eyes searched the foliage below he found himself going over those words again and again in his mind. Was he already too late?
As he flew over the forests between the old miko's village and the Western Lands he searched desperately for some trace of her scent. The longer he searched the more a certain emotion swelled and overwhelmed him. Fear – chilling, haunting and unstoppable. There! The scent of her blood was on the air now, thick, heavy, and unmistakably close. He was amazed he hadn't sensed it before given how much of it had obviously been spilled.
Sesshomaru growled as he remembered his last harsh words to her. He hadn't given her a chance to explain and he hadn't wanted her to. The moment his eyes had seen her swollen belly and her hand entwined with Inuyasha's he'd passed judgement upon her.
'Whore' was the first word that'd echoed through his mind when he'd taken in the quaint family scene before him.
He winced inwardly now at the severity of the word. He was completely undeserving of her love. After months of being apart, endless empty days longing for her, and lonely nights spent trying to remember the warmth of her touch, the soft brush of her fingertips on his skin or the scent of her hair, the first word that came to mind upon seeing her was whore?
He should be castrated, disemboweled and his intestines hung from the rafters for decoration. Yet there was no punishment suitable for the darkest secret that lingered in his heart. The moment he'd seen her standing at Inuyasha's side, hand in hand, he'd wanted to rake his claws through her soft flesh.
His lingering sentiment was all that'd saved her. Seeing her with a rounded stomach brought back bitter memories of times when he'd selfishly pictured her carrying his child. But as angry as he was in that moment, he couldn't bring himself to kill her. His claws refused to obey, perhaps realizing early on what his brain took time to remember - he loved her and that made the feelings of guilt and regret that constricted his chest all the more painful to endure.
Sesshomaru understood with a certain harsh clarity that the situation they were in was entirely his own doing. He should've returned to Inuyasha's group immediately after leaving the Northern Land. Instead he'd taken his time finishing the war he'd begun, all the while telling himself it was because he needed to take control and re-assert his power as ruler of the Western Lands. But the less noble truth was he'd been out for blood.
He blamed every member of the Northern Tribes for the attack on his mate and made sure that each of them suffered for their transgressions. His former advisors had fallen beneath his claws as well, and he did not mourn their loss. It wasn't until the ground was stained red with the blood of the slain and his pristine robes were crimson that he finally relented and accepted victory. He'd been so obsessed with revenge he hadn't noticed the presence of Kagome's life force until Jaken appeared to inform him that she was, in fact, alive and waiting for him in the old miko's village.
He remembered acutely how his heart had immediately leapt into his throat at the thought of being reunited with her again. He'd spent countless hours grieving for her in his own way, punishing himself for not protecting her as he should have. The relief that'd washed over him at discovering she was alive was like a cool breeze on a hot day. It was utterly indescribable, yet completely perfect.
He'd ridden on a wave of euphoria and anticipation to the old miko's village. But the moment he'd arrived every shred of joy he'd felt at the prospect of seeing her dissipated. She was alive but her eyes were different. She'd survived the attack, but at what cost?
The scent of her blood was thick on the air and it twisted another knot of worry in his gut. The bond they shared as mates, symbolized by the mark she bore on her shoulder, told him she wasn't dead but there was no way of knowing how long she would remain so. The overwhelming coppery stench of her blood made his head swim as he landed in a small patch of green grass amidst the thick forest. It was so prevalent on the air he could taste its bitter tang in the back of his throat.
Quickly drawing his Tokijin he spun around in a circle, listening for any sign of predators. After a tense moment he accepted that for the time being they were alone and hastily sheathed the sword at his hip.
Lowering himself onto one knee in the soft grass, Sesshomaru studied her unconscious form. Her skin had taken on the grey pallor reserved for those on the verge of death. Her legs and arms were scratched and gouged, along with her clothes. She rested, like an island in a lake, atop a shimmering pool of her own blood.
With firm yet gentle movements he turned her onto her back so he could tend to her injuries, but there were none. No claw marks, no arrows embedded into her body, no slash marks from another's sword…nothing.
His brows knit together with confusion as his golden eyes studiously panned the length of her body, searching for the source of the blood licking at his toes. His eyes suddenly widened with comprehension and he cursed aloud before lifting her off the ground and balancing her frame in the crook of his arm.
He could feel the life blood seeping out of her and was helpless to stop it. As if to mock his useless state, it trickled in a warm, sticky trail down his arm to land in a pitter-patter of droplets on the forest floor. His body moved without conscious thought, darting through the trees until their green tips and brown trunks blurred into a flash of muted colour. He could hear the weakening pulse in her neck and the way her breaths had become shallow and slow. He was running out of time. He would lose her and this time it would be permanent.
When he reached the hut of the old miko, Sesshomaru burst through her door intent on getting what he needed. Inuyasha stood up and gawked at the sight of him carrying Kagome's body. Their gazes locked, fiery molten blazing into chestnut brown.
"What the hell have you done to her, Sesshomaru?"
Inuyasha drew his useless human sword and narrowed his eyes at him. Sesshomaru cracked his knuckles menacingly, but the old miko stepped in to stop the violence before it could begin.
"You will not shed blood in this house!" she scolded them both, her tone a sharp reprimand. Inuyasha's eyes narrowed at her but he sheathed his sword obediently with a loud 'snap'.
"Why are you here?" he demanded. "And what happened to Kagome?"
"Give me the beads."
"What?" Inuyasha gaped at him perplexed, obviously having no idea what he was asking for.
"The necklace - give it to me. She will die unless she is brought to her own time. Do you want her blood on your hands as well, Inuyasha?"
The word dripped from his lips like hatred-filled venom. It was taking everything within his power to control his beast; he didn't have any extra resources to expend on counselling the boy's stupidity.
Inuyasha removed the beads from around his neck and held them out to Sesshomaru. Lacking a free hand, he could only eye them impatiently. Finally turning to the old priestess he addressed her directly, his tone and his eyes both demanding obedience.
"Miko, your assistance is required. Put the beads around this Sesshomaru's neck."
Kaede nodded and took the beads from Inuyasha's outstretched hand. Closing her eyes in concentration, she chanted a quiet spell while the others watched intently. To their amazement the beads left her hands to hover in the air in front of her as if suspended from the ceiling by an invisible thread. They pulsed and glowed purple in the dim light of the hut and as the priestess' chants grew louder the necklace snapped apart. Bead by bead it reappeared around Sesshomaru's neck. When the last glossy marble fell into place the necklace dropped heavily against his chest and he nodded a silent 'Thank you' to her.
Before she or Inuyasha could say another word he was gone, speeding towards the well as fast as he could possibly move.
"Fight Kagome, just a little longer," he demanded. He was not prepared to accept defeat. Not yet. Not after they'd fought so hard.
Leaping into the mouth of the Bone Eater's Well, he clutched her tight to his chest and swore oaths to any gods who would listen in the hopes that they would both make it through to the other side alive.
oOo
As soon as Sesshomaru was out of sight Inuyasha collapsed to the floor of Kaede's hut. His eyes stared fixedly at the swinging bamboo door and his mind reeled over what he'd just seen.
"Kaede…"
He finally managed to stammer the old woman's name but could not turn to meet her gaze. The elderly priestess looked at him with pity showing on her withered features.
"Kagome is dying," she stated softly.
Inuyasha nodded his head in response and swallowed hard. It was his fault. If he'd gone after her, he could have prevented this. He'd tried, but not nearly hard enough. A part of him still hoped Kagome would finally see how unsuitable Sesshomaru was to be her mate, finally choose to stay with him in the village. So he'd stopped running, stopped looking for her, and now she...she...
He balled his hands into tight fists and struck one hard against the floor. I never should've let her go off alone!
"Inuyasha...the child is gone."
With that awful news his world came to an abrupt halt. She would never forgive him for this. He quietly pulled his knees into his chest and buried his face in his sleeve. His shoulders shook in silence at first, but then one choking sob after another tore from his throat until he was crying harder than he'd ever cried in his life.
The thought of losing Kagome was unbearable, but knowing her baby was gone and what that news would do to her tore his heart wide open. Before today he was certain he'd finally found himself a family. He'd been so afraid of ending up alone, but Kagome's return had spelled the end of that fear. Now that fear was back and so was the stinging ache of loneliness that accompanied it.
Kaede watched his tears with sympathy and did her best to soothe his fears, "Sesshomaru will take care of her, ye know this already."
Inuyasha looked up and held the old woman's gaze. Her good eye shone with all the wisdom and knowledge one gains after a lifetime of experience. Realizing she was right, he nodded his head before fixing his eyes to the floor. "I know", he said, his words ringing with defeat and barely audible above the crackle of the cooking fire. "I just can't bear the thought of losing her."
With no words left to be said, the two oddly matched companions waited silently in each others' company for news from the other side of the well.
oOo
The well's blue light faded and in its place lingered an impenetrable dark. The question of whether or not they'd passed through the well was soon answered. The sounds and smells of her world assaulted his senses in a sickening wave that forced him to his knees. There were too many to count and none recognizable except for her.
Holding in a roar of frustration, he buried his face into her shoulder and steadily breathed in her scent. It was warm and familiar and its effect on him was immediate. Calm spread through him as he closed his eyes, shutting out everything but her - her scent, her heart beat, and the way her hair softly tickled the skin of his cheek. For a brief moment, she became his world and it was enough to tune his focus.
Bracing for the worst, he allowed his other senses to return one at a time, the effect making them just barely tolerable.
Holding her tight to his chest, he left the well and burst out of the tiny enclosure that housed it, tearing the ancient doors from their hinges. Momentarily blinded by the glaring sun, he took a moment to assess their new surroundings.
The Goshinboku stood tall and proud in the near distance, a lone familiar site in this new world of grey. Satisfied that he'd gained his bearings, he made his way toward the main dwelling. It was far larger than a hut and yet, not half the size of his palace.
"What's happened to Kagome?"
A woman ran toward him, her expression anxious. Scent confirmed she was Kagome's mother but any curiosity about her was quickly brushed aside. Deciding that explanations could wait until later, he inquired after the whereabouts of the nearest doctor or medicine woman. The woman stared at him blankly a moment, then shook her head.
"We'll go to the hospital. There's one just down the street. Let me run inside and grab the car keys!"
Sesshomaru acquiesced with a nod and his amber gaze followed her into the house. He stood motionless in the centre of the yard, impatient for her to return. Each second that passed was more drawn out than the last, stretching out before him into infinity. His mate's scent was weakening. With every faltering beat of her heart he felt it fade a little more and his claws unconsciously gripped her tighter.
"Do not give up," he demanded, his voice intended for her ears alone. "This Sesshomaru does not permit it."
With a crash of the door behind her, Kagome's mother returned pulling a wrap around her shoulders and jingling something in her hand.
"Here, we'll take the car," she said in-between pants. Sesshomaru eyed the keys and sneered at vehicle she pointed to.
"Climb on my back," he instructed, his words sounding more like a demand than a request. Kagome's mother eyed him dubiously but obeyed without question.
She'd only just wrapped her arms around his neck before he took off, his legs propelling them forward faster than she'd ever travelled in her life. Her eyes watered from the stinging winds that whipped at her face, yet she somehow managed to direct him to the hospital.
Mrs. Higurashi gaped at him, stunned, when barely a minute later he let her down in front of Tokyo Municipal Hospital. He stared at her expectantly and she moved unsteadily towards the large glass doors marked EMERGENCY. They opened automatically, inviting her inside, and she motioned for him to join her.
His feet stubbornly remained rooted to the ground. The towering structure before him reeked of blood and death. The air was rank with the unmistakable scents of disease, fear, and a thousand others he couldn't place. He had serious reservations about taking his mate into this so called "hospital".
Her mother was insistent now, impatiently tugging at his sleeve. Sensing no deception from her, he reluctantly followed her inside. He'd barely crossed the threshold when a powerful wave of scent burned deep into his nose. Whatever it was, it was strong and far from natural.
Growling in discomfort, he snapped his head around to face the group of humans hesitantly closing in on him. Two men dressed in white, accompanied by several women dressed in blue, grabbed at Kagome and attempted to remove her from his grasp. A murderous glare and a snarl was all it took to send them skittering back with their hands up and their eyes wide.
The touch of something soft against his arm drew his attention away from the humans and onto the reassuring hand resting atop his sleeve.
"It's okay. Give Kagome to the doctors. They will help her."
Kagome's mother gestured to the humans standing a good ten paces away and gave his arm a gentle squeeze.
He studied her for a long moment, trying to decide whether to trust her or not. Finally, reluctantly, he held Kagome out to the people in blue and white and waited while they enveloped her like a sea.
Before he could change his mind, the weight of her body was gone from his arm and she was heading through a large metal door on a white bed with wheels. The sudden feeling of helplessness that overcame him was stifling. He glanced around the room full of humans, hardly noticing their strange attire or foreign appearances.
What was he supposed to do now?
He felt stranded in the middle of that cavernous room, waiting for his answer. His eyes lingered on the doors ahead while his body resisted the urge to follow her through them. He couldn't help her now, but perhaps they could. He had to believe that or else the wait would drive him mad.
The humans sitting around cast uncertain looks in his direction and a few whispered to one another behind their hands. A glance down at his attire confirmed the cause - he was covered from chest to thigh in her blood, looking every inch like the harbinger of death that he was.
Fitting, he mused.
The warm hand atop his arm offered another light squeeze, drawing his attention. The woman attempted a reassuring smile but he could see the tears brimming in her eyes. She stank of fear and it set him on edge. Humans were never any good at disguising their emotions.
"Come," she said softly, motioning towards the exit. "Let's get you a change of clothes and then you can tell me what happened to my daughter."