I do not own Twilight.

Thank you to SunflowerFran for betaing; remaining mistakes are mine.

oOo

"My darling Edward,

I'm sorry to be leaving like this, but I think that right now, it's the best for us.

I love you so much, I hope you know this. But I can't watch you destroy yourself.

Why didn't you talk to me? Why did you hide from me?

I'm so disappointed, Edward. Not because of what you did, compulsively, but because you didn't trust me. Because you thought I couldn't cope, or I wouldn't love you if I knew the truth or… whatever.

I'm so tired, Edward. I want to be there for you, but you won't let me in.

So I'm going to Brighton with Jackie and Leah for a few days, just to clear my head. Maybe you can use the time to do the same… In more ways than one.

We're taking Leah's car, and will be back on Wednesday night. I'm taking my phone, but I'll probably leave it off. I really need some time to think, and like I said, I'd appreciate it if you did the same.

I love you so much, Edward.

You're a beautiful man, a beautiful human being. Don't destroy that.

Should anything be the matter, you can call Jackie and she'll forward the message, but please only do it if it's an emergency. I'll also send you the number of the B&B where we'll be staying.

I love you.

Bella."

Edward was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed, sobbing.

She knew.

She knew, and yet she still loved him.

She was still his warm-hearted, beautiful Bella.

How could he have been so irresponsible, so damn stupid?

Throwing away the biggest gift, ever, the woman who loved him, the woman he loved, for – for what?

A quick kick? A fast route to his creativity?

Had she not proven that she was his muse? That she healed him? The paintings earlier in the year, all but one sold for hundreds of thousands of pounds, and they had all been painted sober.

And they were good.

So why had he been so fucking, damn idiotic to fall back into this deadly habit?

He groaned, another attack of sobs rippling through his chest.

.

Bella was uneasy. Though she was supposed to relax, to think, she felt as if something was pulling her back; something was pulling at her chest.

The girls were fun to be with, and tried their best to distract her. They went bathing, and visited the Royal Pavilion, Brighton Museum and the Brighton Marina.

Jackie bought a couple of outrageous dresses, and Leah made the three of them write dozens of postcards. She also took about three hundred snapshots, which she immediately posted on facebook.

But Bella was worried. She hadn't heard from Edward, but had sent him the contact of the B&B. Also, her dad had told her about the phone call from Edward, and that he'd told him about the message. Bella was certain he'd found it, since she always left him messages on her pillow.

"Hey! Bella!"

Both Leah and Jackie were jumping up and down in the water, waving for her to join them.

So Bella ran into the water, plastering a smile on her face.

But her heart, oh her heart was weary.

oOo

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