You know, this is the first time I've had a proper chance to watch Logan - or the Wolverine, I should say - in action, in a cage fight. It's just never really come up before, you know? He wasn't really on board with the idea of taking me to fight bars when I was eighteen or nineteen. He was more on a sort of 'let's-protect-Rogue' sort of vibe. Since then, I've been in fights when he's been there, fighting alongside, but at times like that you don't really get the chance to sit back and admire technique - as a rule.
That was where I first saw him, of course - in a cage. But I wasn't taking it in, back then. It was all just... just too much. I was scared shitless, to be honest. I'd just been left in this hole-in-the-wall town, and I had no idea where I was going next, but none of the options looked good. Now - well, now I can truly appreciate the spectacle. My god, but that man's got the most magnificent body. Oof. Have him oiled and sent to my room. Oh yes.
Oh dear - he's spotted me. Wow, that challenger didn't last long. I wonder if I should get him a drink? Oops, no time. Wow, he sure can move like a greased weasel when he wants.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"Hello, nice to see you, too, yes, it has been a long time, hasn't it? Why, I'm doin' jus' fine, sugar. Hey, don't you growl at me." Or I'll waggle my finger at you. See? "It's a free country."
"Come on." Ooh, Masterful Wolvie. I'm sure he can smell my amusement, but I just can't help it. There's something about Logan in a huff that makes me smile. Lovely, and this would be the traditional alley out back, then.
"And what an incredible smell you've discovered."
"Quit jokin' around. Why're you here? What's up?"
"Nothin's up, 'cept perhaps that stick in your butt. Calm down, will you? I was in the area on a mission, thought I'd drop by and-"
"Pull the other one, Rogue - I can smell you lyin' a mile off."
"Maybe that's just the delightful ambience of the locale." Frustrated Wolvie, now, running a hand through his wild hair. Gosh, he's purdy. "All right, all right. I was in the area 'cause I was on a mission to find you, okay?"
"Why?"
"Quit with the gruff already."
"Rogue..."
"Okaaay. If I promise to tell you all about it, will you buy me a drink?"
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Now, this is more conducive. We have beer, he's cleaned up a bit from the fight... unfortunately he's put a T-shirt on, too, but it's a very tight one. Okay, gotta stop thinking thoughts like that, or he'll smell it on me or something. Ewwwww. Beer. Keep mind on beer. Beer good. Beer sensible. Beer not wearing tight T-shirt. Think only of the beer. And, of course, what to tell Logan. Fuck me, this isn't easy.
"I figured it out, eventually."
"Figured what out?"
"You. Well, your constant need to be someplace else, at least." Raised eyebrow, huh? I'll show you your raised eyebrow and raise you one of my own. Two can play at that game. "But it's okay. You don't have to hide from me." Growly, prickly Logan, but at least he hasn't gotten up and left - yet. That's what I'm here to cure him of - if I can. "I know you know, you know?" And suddenly I'm Inarticulate Rogue again. It's Logan's fault. Him and his damn chest. Gorgeous chest. No. Think of the beer. Not of the chest of gorgeousness. "I mean, I know that you're aware I had a crush on you when - when I was a kid." Good god, I hope he's listening carefully, 'cause I don't think I can repeat this. I can feel him staring at me so intently, and I don't think I'll be able to say this if I look at him. "I worked it out - that's why you avoid me. I guess you don't want to make it hard on me or something - like the time you vanished when I'd just broken up with Remy. I was really upset with you, for a while, for doing that. But it turned out to be the right thing for me. I did need some time alone. I grew out of the crush years ago," kinda, anyhow, "but I still depended on you too much. That time was really good for me, 'cause I got my head together. I wanted to thank you for that. You've always had my best interests at heart, even though sometimes it didn't feel like it. But I wanted to come find you to tell you that I'm okay now - that you don't have to avoid me for my own good any more. I'm all grown-up and independent. And I miss you. I came to see if you fancied hanging out for a while, like we used to? No obligation, of course - I just thought it might be nice."
Damn, I sound pathetic. But I feel like he's drifting away from me, and he has been for a long time. If I have to embarrass myself to prevent that, well, I can totally do that. I don't want to take the chance of him drifting out of my life totally. I know he's capable of doing that. Even though I know he'll never want more than friendship, I still want him in my life, and I don't want to be driving him away, just 'cause he thinks it'll be unhealthy for me to be too dependent on him, or whatever. That's what all this is about.
Geez, Logan; say something. Staring at the table like you're tryin' to burn a hole through it isn't making this easier.
"Uh..."
This is so embarrassing. Why did I think this was a good idea? Straighten things out between us - ha! Make Logan run a mile and avoid me for the rest of my life is more like it. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I'd better go. Forget I said anything."
"No. No, siddown, kid. I ain't very good at this." Okay. The iron grip he's got on my wrist is encouraging, in a Loganish sort of way. "Drink your beer." Beer. I can do that. "I like hangin' out with you. I could do more of it. You know, if you wanna."
"If I wanna? Well, duh."
Trying to pin me with his Alpha Male stare, I see. Okay, if I'm honest, I turn to jelly inside every time he does that, but I'm never, ever telling him that. "So you had a crush on me?"
"Uh, yeah." And about now I suspect I'm pink like Jubes' car. Euch. Whatever possessed her to buy...
"And you got over it?"
"Yeah."
"Right. Good." That sounds like Logan for 'let's not talk about it any more'. I think that's us straightened out. I think. That wasn't too cripplingly embarrassing. Well, it was, but it was worth it. I just want him to stop with the avoiding, and for us to, you know, be friends again. That's all.
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TBC... Only three more chapters to go...